Except he didn't come back
Hey you've reached Owen Harper, please leave your name and number and if you're important enough I'll call you back…..
Look Owen I know things are tough for you right now but you can't just cut yourself off from everyone… What? How am I supposed to know where you left it Rhys!? What I mean is all we want to do is help and you not letting us is self-destructive, you need to be care- No Rhys I said I didn't know where it was… Owen call me okay? Bye!
The apartment was silent and dark, as it had been for the past three months, not one curtain had been opened, or light illuminated. Owen lay very still on his bed willing himself to sleep although he knew it wasn't possible. Instead he was forced to stare at the same cream coloured wallpaper until he felt like moving; which didn't happen very often anymore. He would have gone to find food or a drink, but he couldn't do that anymore either, he was stuck perpetually waiting for an end that would never come. He was a ghost of the man he once was, unable to enjoy any of the pleasures in life he once craved. All he wanted to do was drink himself in to an oblivion but what was the point when he couldn't feel anything already? There was also the little problem that the liquid wouldn't go anywhere and he would probably have to throw it back up afterwards.
Hey you've reached Owen Harper, please leave your name and number and if you're important enough I'll call you back…
Owen I don't give a damn how you're feeling right now, I need my medic back so get your ass up and in to work… Please…
He supposed he could move to different areas of the apartment, watch TV or read a book but he was slightly terrified of hurting himself, he had already gained a few broken fingers that would never be repaired and he didn't fancy having any more. No, it was better to stay completely still, he didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to see anyway. He had shut out the others completely, they pretended to understand and 'feel' for him but he knew it was all lies. They had no idea and he wasn't going to sit and listen to it anymore.
Hey you've reached Owen Harper, please leave your name and number and if you're important enough I'll call you back…
It's Martha, I can't do this without you, you know as well as I do that your knowledge and expertise outweighs mine completely… That is the only time you'll hear me say that, does that not prove how much we need you?
What was the point of going to work when there were so many risks in the simple act of picking up a scalpel? He hated the fact that everyone treated him differently now. It was like he was a toddler and everyone was just watching him in case he hurt himself. He watched the sunlight, turn to shadows and then nothingness, on his bedroom wall again and again until it all felt meaningless. He had no idea of the day, date or time but did not feel like he needed to; He didn't need to do anything.
Hey you've reached Owen Harper, please leave your name and number and if you're important enough I'll call you back…
I know you heard me knocking on your door, Jesus Christ Owen please let me in, I'm worried about you. I can understand you blocking them all out, but me? After everything? Who are you going to turn to if something goes wrong? Christ knows it won't be John, you have to get over it… Everything. He's not coming back and you're not going to suddenly become less dead… I want to be there for you but I don't know how to anymore… If you're not going to accept my help at least let Tosh…
John… A name he couldn't get off his mind. When Owen had finally made it home the night after everything had changed, he was not greeted with a cocky grin and sarcastic remark like he thought he would be. Nor was the Captain there the day after, or the day after that. In fact, John Hart had not been back at all since Jack brought Owen back. He had searched in all the places across Cardiff that he thought the Captain would be, to no avail. He couldn't ask Jack for help, without raising suspicion, so Ianto had tried to find out information for him. He would have taken anything, no matter how small or obscure, he was that desperate. but unfortunately Jack knew nothing and so Owen descended deeper in to his isolation.
John was gone for good and it left Owen feeling so angry he could hardly bear to look at anyone, let alone himself.
He couldn't understand why he was feeling this way, John had been a flicker of lust in his otherwise mundane life, a little bit of fun to pass the days. He guessed this was why he needed him back so badly, he made Owen normal and all he wanted to feel right now was normal.
Owen padded in to the main living area of his apartment, not quite sure what he was doing, it's not like there was anything he particularly wanted to do here. His answering machine was blinking with unheard messages. The thought to listen to his 'friends' try and help him crossed his mind momentarily but not long enough. He pressed delete without another thought and proceeded through the darkness.
He walked towards to the door expecting to find exactly what he found. Another mound of post-it notes sat on the floor, just below his mail box. Toshiko had taken to leaving them realising she was getting nowhere by ringing and knocking; she didn't give up as easily as the others. He picked up the multi-coloured slips of paper and sifted through them, they were all dated and signed by Tosh. He turned on a nearby lamp so he was able to decipher the messages.
Let me help you please.
I miss you.
I need to know you're okay.
No one is getting on at work, it's difficult.
They became less about him and more about the state of life at The Hub.
Ianto had a massive argument with Gwen and Jack today, I don't know if he'll be back.
No sign of Ianto
Gwen is trying to pretend like nothing has happened but it's grating, I wish she would stop.
Owen everything is falling apart without you.
He looked at the last one feeling a small pang of guilt shift through him burning in to anger. Why should he feel guilty? It wasn't his fault that Jack brought him back and upset the rest of the team. It wasn't his fault that everyone was fighting, it wasn't his fault that Ianto-
He stopped thinking about Ianto, it was kind of his fault that Ianto had fought with Jack as he wouldn't have cared so deeply about Owen if it weren't for him.
Without a second's thought, Owen grabbed his keys and left his apartment, venturing out in to the night to hopefully fix something he had broken.
Soooo…. I'm wondering if we can ignore the fact it's been three years since I last updated this fic? Maybe…
I've been thinking about TW a lot recently and am even in Cardiff right now! I went to the water tower and bay and nearly died of happiness haha.
But anyway let's see if I can finish this.
