"Until?" He asks me as I'm once again left speechless.

"It doesn't matter," I quickly try to recover although I know it's not that simple.

"No no no, Carla. You said it was just speculations until. That means you knew for sure. How could you have found out for sure?" He says in confusion, the desperation clear on his face and I know I have to come clean.

"Okay," I take a deep breath before beginning, knowing he probably wasn't going to be happy about what I have to say. "I started noticing, not long after she was born so I realised that I just needed to know for sure but I didn't know how."

I see him looking intently towards me as Holly wriggles, asleep in her baby carrier and I smile down to her.

"I needed to do a DNA test," I confess.

"You needed my DNA for that, though?" He questions, clearly hurt by my actions.

"Not necessarily yours." I watch him as his face drops and he realises what I'm saying.

That someone he loved, someone he trusted betrayed him. That they knew that he had been separated from his daughter for the first six months of her life and did nothing to tell him.

I see the glint of anger in his eyes which is all too familiar that I have to remind myself that this is Nick, he would never hurt me.

"Who?" He demands angrily.

I stay quiet.

"Who?" He repeats.

"It wasn't their fault, I asked them and they helped. They were doing me a favour." I protest.

"Who?" He persists.

I can't answer him. I've already caused so much heartache and I can't bear to cause any more.

"Right, let's see." He sighs in annoyance. "Well they have to be related to me, I know they prefer the most direct relations so who's it between?" He thinks aloud as I sit in silence, ashamed.

"There's David, I mean he did cause me brain damage so why wouldn't he go behind my back?"

I feel a tear fall from my eye as I can see how clearly distressed he is by the fact that someone went behind his back.

It's obvious he is still finding it hard to trust people after what I did. Well, what he thinks I did.

"I bet it's him, isn't it? Isn't it?" He shouts but I can't bring myself to reply, just praying he would calm down.

"He's gonna pay for this," I look up as he starts to leave the flat and I have to resort to grabbing his hand desperately and pulling him back.

As he tries to pull away from me once more, I realise there's no other option.

"Nick, it wasn't David. I swear"

"Then tell me who it was!" He demands.

"It was Gail," I declare as he freezes before taking a step back, in shock.

I expect him to question me. But, he doesn't.

"When?"

"About 3 months ago," I say after a pause as we both sit back down on the sofa and I can see a tear run slowly down his face.

"3 months." He repeats.

"Why didn't you come back earlier? You knew she was mine and you just stayed away?" He says and I can see how heartbroken he is.

It's the same look when he found out about what Robert and I supposedly did.

"I'm sorry Nick," I say, desperate to make it up to him.

I don't know what I expect.

I turn up after a year of him not seeing me with the news that he has been a dad for six months without even realising.

How could I expect for him to do anything other than show me where the door is?

And that's what he did.

"Sorry, just isn't good enough this time."

Just like that.

I came all this way, after all this time.

All for nothing.

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