Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima


ACT IV: Aftermath – Psychological Wounds

Approximately X793

A week passed by, before Lucy was ready to go back to the Heartfilia mansion. All though it took longer than any of them anticipated, it didn't go by totally eventless, especially for Natsu who was trying to deal, with the internal struggles he was experiencing. Sometimes it would manifest in flashbacks all of a sudden, placing him in different events in his mind, that he had no memory of.

The flashbacks could be triggered by random things such as words or sounds, but there was no consistency in when it would happen. It could be something as simple as a brawl at the bar or people talking about something that could make it spawn, leaving him helpless as the images suddenly overwhelmed him. To make matters worse, the Dragon Slayer was haunted by nightmares, disturbing his sleep and leaving him in a rather foul mood. Actually all of what had transpired was starting to leave a mark on him making him restless, but also more sensitive and alert towards stuff that happened all around him. It was weird and made Natsu feel like he was on an emotional roller-coaster he couldn't control...

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

Chapter 17: Legacy

Blood... there was blood everywhere...

Natsu turned around on the spot a few times to take in the scenario, which looked like a huge battlefield, where the corpses of both humans and dragons was sprawled everywhere. Unfortunately this wasn't the first time he had been in this particular scenario in his nightmare, but it was still rather horrible to experience, especially because he could smell and sense all the nasty things that surrounded him. The smell of blood was one thing, but smelling how the victims had died by various things like burned, electrocuted or shred to pieces was rather grim and made him feel nauseas.

Sometimes Natsu only visited the battlefield for a short amount of time in his nightmares, others different events would occur. It was very different how things played out for some reason, making it really unpredictable. Especially because the nightmares could take current events or other stuff that wasn't related to it at all and make them more horrific.

An unpleasant shiver went down his spine as he glared at his bloodstained hands.

Yeah... that image was still haunting him, even when he was awake.

Igneel...

The mighty fire dragon was suddenly there, ignoring him for some reason.

It was really weird because Natsu didn't feel like he was himself, but more like some weird reflection of someone else. In fact he couldn't even control his own movements.

And of course he knew who that was, even if it was hard coming to terms with...

"Hey!" Natsu heard himself yell all of a sudden "Stop being a shit head and look in my direction!"

"Hmm..." Igneel hummed in a lazy voice.

"Oy!" the Dragon Slayer pointed his finger accusingly at the dragon "Don't you hmm me! I'll show you how amazing my fire is!"

For some reason black flames was suddenly covering Natsu's body "See?"

Sighing Igneel turned his head to the side, feigning interest in the other person.

"Hey!" Natsu's eyes bulged in surprise "Stop being a shit head and look in my direction!"

"You're such a brat..."

"So what if I am? You're just an annoying and ugly dragon!"

"Say that again!"

"You're ugly!"

"You're calling me the almighty Igneel ugly?!"

"Yeah!"

They stood glaring at each other for a second.

The next part of his nightmare would always be different, so the Dragon Slayer almost wanted the dialogue to continue, because it was somewhat safe...

Unconsciously Natsu raised his arm and a second later the dragon was covered in black flames.

The scream... ohh god... the sound of the screaming dragon being tortured was agonising...

"How dare you die! You told me that life was more precious than that! You..." his voice was trembling with anger and sorrow "You told me that there's more to life than death and..."

Tears was suddenly streaming down his face, his heart beating irregularly and painful in his chest.

"And then you just go ahead and fucking die!" his voice cracked as he sucked in his breath "Why?"

The dragon didn't answer but kept screaming in a dreadful and heartbreaking way.

Please make it stop...

"Why did you leave me behind?" Natsu suddenly felt more in control of his body "I had dreams and stuff I wanted to tell you... I... had so many things I wanted to share with you..."

Everything started to pulsate in a weird sort of way as he glared down at his hands.

The amount of blood intensified and was now streaming down his wrists and through his fingers,.

"No..." Natsu shook his head in denial "... please god no..."

It didn't stop. On the contrary the blood came at a faster pace and at the same time the screaming from dragon grew in volume.

"No... stop it! Please just... stop it!"

A heartbreaking scream escaped his lips and it followed him into the world of the living, as his body shot into a sitting position.

Panting and struggling to breath in an even tempo, he just sat staring into thin air with haunted eyes.

Natsu didn't notice it at first, but a layer of sweat was covering every inch of him and in some places it formed into droplets, before trailing down his body.

"... shit..." Natsu muttered and bend his legs, so he could wrap his arms around them and hug them close to his chest.

Exhaling a deep breath of frustration, he slammed his forehead against his knees,

So tired... like holy mother of everything, he felt so exhausted.

But the Dragon Slayer didn't want to go to sleep again... no, he might have the same nightmare again and he did NOT want that to replay again.

Actually it was kinda weird how messed up his mind had been lately. Not only because of the nightmares or night-terrors, but also because of the flashbacks. Since the flashbacks could happen anywhere and at any place, Natsu felt certain that there wasn't anything he could do about it. Which was also why he hadn't told his team or anyone else about it, because why worry them, when it was something that time would eventually heal.

Just like it had when Igneel left...

"Dad..." the Dragon slayer whispered before he started knocking his head against his knees in an even rhythm.

Natsu sat like that for a few minutes, before he turned his head to glare out of the window.

It was still dark outside and he instinctively knew, that he hadn't gotten enough sleep. Especially because it had taken him ages just to fall asleep.

It really sucked. Not just a little but a ton and some more...

"Mohh!" Natsu complained as he got out of bed and fetched his clothes. Not sure what else to do he decided to go for a walk to let out some steam.

When Natsu got outside he had to admit that it was a wonderful night. The sky was clear and there was a soft breeze, that was characteristic for a warm summer night. As he walked through the town he noticed that most of the houses were dark, indicating that the residents in them were asleep.

"... damn you all, I want that too" Natsu grumbled suddenly feeling annoyed as he started stomping down the road.

Stupid people and stupid sleep... right now even Happy was probably sleeping with saliva streaming out of his mouth.

The last few nights the cat had spent his nights at other places, mainly because it was too hard for him to listen to the Dragon Slayer's screams in the middle of the night. Or well... at first Happy was determined and wanted to stay, trying his best to deny that the screams terrified him. But it did and somehow Natsu managed to convince the cat to go sleep at other places for a while.

Why did Natsu do that? Because he knew Happy needed sleep to function, but also because he felt somewhat guilty for waking and scaring the poor cat. Of course he had tried to make the scream less audible by screaming into a pillow, but the cat always heard him.

"... stupid screaming and stupid nightmares" he growled to himself before kicking a poor defenceless rock on the ground, that flew into the river where it landed with a splash.

Walking was starting to get boring, so Natsu decided to start on his way back home.

Hopefully they still had some food in the fridge or something, that could keep him entertained until the morning, when he had to met with his team to go on a special mission.

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

It didn't take long for the team consisting of Lucy, Natsu, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Carla and Happy to reach the Heartfilia mansion.

Finally! They would finally get the book Zeref mentioned, Lucy thought smiling widely at what they might find of answers in the book. Of course it could be a lie or even a trap, but for some reason the celestial mage highly doubted that.

"So how is it like being back here?" Gray asked eyeing the girl in curiosity.

"It's okay" she smiled at the ice mage "Kinda nostalgic in a way"

"But it's so huuuuge" Wendy said feeling thoroughly amazed by it "You must have been like royalty"

"Yeah, we had the same reaction when we first saw this place" the ice mage smirked towards the healer.

"Our mansion is right up ahead" Lucy said and pointed her finger to show its location.

"Wooooow!" The healer gasped, her mouth forming a circle "You really lived there Lucy-san?"

"I did" the celestial mage chuckled at the girl's reaction.

"It ain't that fancy you know" Natsu snorted, sounding mildly annoyed "I mean I would rather live in a small place, than a huge and unpleasant one"

"Don't..." Lucy turned her head a flash of sadness and anger in her eyes "... say it like that"

"What?" the Dragon Slayer shrugged "It's the truth ain't it? You were the one who ran away from here, so why claim it's a good place when it ain't? I mean sugar coating something like that is just stupid"

And with that he stomped on ahead, leaving the group behind.

"I really... really hope he'll get some sleep soon" Gray sighed and clenched his fist "These mood swings is pissing me off"

"He'll get around eventually. Until then all we have to do is endure it" Erza said but deep inside she really wished that the change would come sooner rather than later.

"Natsu-san" Wendy muttered and looked down in defeat. This wasn't anything she could heal and it pained her immensely.

Being sleep deprived was one thing, but Natsu somehow succeeded in taking it to another level completely. One minute he could be happy, the next he could be utterly mad. The change was instant and faster than you could snap your fingers. Besides that his mood could be so gosh darn unpredictable. Actually sometimes it seemed like even the Dragon Slayer was surprised about his reactions.

Maybe it was because Natsu usually was a heavy sleeper and needed a certain amount of sleep to function, or perhaps it was because he was already an emotional person, that reacted on whatever he felt.

Yeah like adding fuel to the flames...

Lucy sighed heavily and massaged her temple.

The number one reason Lucy suspected was behind his abnormal behaviour, was because she was certain that the Dragon Slayer was hiding how strong his internal struggles with the demon really was. Of course she didn't know to what extent it was, but for her it was rather evident that it was effecting him somehow, other than him not getting enough sleep. Which he didn't need to tell them, because his physical features revealed that rather quickly. Well for one thing he had bags under his eyes, secondly he sometimes entered a zombie like state where he just sat staring into thin air, as if he was sleeping with his eyes open.

It was a hard situation and she didn't know how to deal with it. Of course she had tried getting Natsu to meditate again, but for some reason he always managed to avoid doing so, by making excuses or running away.

It was a hassle indeed...

Fortunately Lucy didn't have to think about their problems with the Dragon Slayer at the moment, because it didn't take long before they reached the mansion, where they found their way to the library.

"Ohhh!" Wendy's eyes widened when she took in the huge amount of bookshelves.

"I suggest we split up and search" Erza suggested with a nod "If you find anything please be sure to shout out for the rest of us"

"Yeah good idea" Gray agreed and with that they went searching for the book.

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

I really... really don't want to be here...

The Dragon Slayer groaned out loud as he glared lazily at a bookshelf filled with books, not reading what was written on them.

"Seriously..." he sighed and blinked a few times trying to concentrate.

There was a lot books about stupid stuff, which kind of annoyed him as he kept searching. Well that was until he eventually got to the section about legends.

"Ohh..." Natsu crocked an eyebrow when he saw one book with the title Dragons and Fables "Neat!"

Opening the book he was pleasantly surprised that it also contained illustrations of dragons and honestly that was really awesome!

Grinning to himself Natsu started flicking through the pages until he spotted a unique headline: The king of fire dragons...

He wanted to read it all, but Natsu was too lazy to do that so instead he read the last few sentences out loud.

"This legendary dragon was a well known and loved even amongst his own species. But just like all the other fables about dragons, Igneel died during the Dragon King festival. Nobody knows much about him and so his true legacy to the world, will forever be unknown. All because Igneel met his end too soon"

Natsu reread the sentence before the meaning behind the words hit him, like a shovel in the face.

Igneel met his end too soon...

His END too soon...

A flashback spawned in his mind, briefly knocking the air out of him.

Nobody knows him and his true legacy to the world...

All because Igneel met his end too soon...

No...

The images from his latest nightmare was replaying in his mind, making his heart rate fasten all of a sudden.

He could remember Igneel! His death wasn't totally lost to the world... but.. that scream... oh god the horrible screaming...

His breathing was becoming more shallow as his emotions, started to take control. Not in the good way, because he was starting to panic. Why? He honestly couldn't tell.

Panting he looked around him and for some reason the books seemed to shiver and become blurry almost as if they were a sudden threat.

The book of END... you did that... you hurt your own friends...

He had to get away, right then and there! His eyes darted around the room until he found something that looked like a huge cabinet.

Not thinking twice Natsu dropped the book and quickly ran over to it, where he jumped inside and quickly closed the door behind him.

The Dragon Slayer could feel his mood changing immediately as he sat there trying to regain his breath.

"Stupid book..." he whispered and nuzzled his chin against his scarf.

Natsu didn't sit there for long when a knock on the door made him flinch in surprise.

"Uhm... are you okay in there?" Lucy asked in concern from the other side.

"Ye... yeah" Natsu answered and wondered how on earth she had found him.

"Good" she said and a second later the cabinet opened "You know if you wanna hide, you should make sure not to get your scarf caught in the door"

"Ahh..." Natsu scratched his neck "... yeah"

"Seriously" Lucy quickly scanned his body "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just..."

"Yeah?"

"Page 34" he said and pointed towards the book on the ground.

"Okay..."

"The last part..."

"Gotcha" she quickly took the book and read the specific page. Once she was finished her eyes widened in sympathy and surprise. After all she had figured out rather fast that the word 'end' could cause him to have a drastic change in attitude, mainly manifesting in either anger or sorrow.

"I'm sorry" Lucy closed the book and placed it on the shelf before walking over to him.

"It's fine..." Natsu shrugged trying to look indifferent.

"You're such a bad liar" the celestial mage had a sad smile on her lips as she wrapped her arms around the Dragon Slayer and nudged her head against his shoulder.

"Yeah..."

Natsu knew he couldn't hide his mood especially towards her. Like seriously it was like she was an emotional transmitter that caught on to everything.

Taking a deep breath he returned the gesture and took solace in the moment.

"Thanks" Natsu gave her body a squeeze and took a deep breath, before exhaling the amount of air which for some reason felt almost liberating.

"You're welcome" she squeezed him back.

They sat like that for a while when they heard Gray shouting all of a sudden "I think I found something!"

"Guess we should get going, huh?" Natsu chuckled in a gloomy tone.

"Yeah" she answered and removed herself from the hug "Come on, hopefully we'll be out of here soon"

Lucy got into a standing position and offered him her hand.

"Uh-huh" Natsu nodded and grabbed it before getting into standing position.

Her hand was so warm in his... it was kinda nice and comforting.

Feeling somewhat rejuvenated he kept holding onto her hand, as they made their way to the group.

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

It didn't take long for the group to reunite as they surrounded Gray, who was staring at a book in his hand.

"What does is say?" Erza asked and glanced into the book, as the ice mage quickly flipped through the pages.

"I can't say for sure, but it's all hand written and from what I saw it looks like a diary of some sort" he closed the book with a snap "Either way the title kinda says it all doesn't it?"

They all stared at the title that clearly read: A Mother's Tale, and underneath it the sentence: Lucy's Legacy, was written.

"Ohh" the blonde's mouth formed a circle as she accepted the book, when the ice mage handed it to her "I... I know this might be selfish, but if you don't mind, I would like to read this in private"

"Of course" Erza nodded towards her.

The sound of someone suddenly trying to suppress a laugh, made them all turn to look in the voice's direction.

"Happy?" Lucy asked and watched as the cat fell backwards onto his back, where he started rolling around while laughing out loud.

"What's his problem?" Gray asked and turned his head to see what might be so hilarious.

The cat didn't answer but instead pointed his paw in Lucy's and Natsu's direction.

All of them turned their heads to see what it was and once they realised their eyes widened in surprise.

Well not all of them, Natsu seemed quite indifferent to it. Which he was, because why would they create a fuss about him holding Lucy's hand?

"I see" Erza's aura seemed to sparkle for a second in happiness.

"Don't see why that's funny though" Gray shrugged and smiled somewhat mockingly "I mean after all, Lucy did break the friend zone rule by smacking her lips against his"

"Wait..." Lucy's eyes bulged clearly understanding what the ice mage was implying "... no, no, no!"

She quickly snatched her hand back, so it wasn't intertwined with the Dragon Slayer's any more.

"It's not what you think!" she shook her head, cheeks blushing fiercely from the accusation.

"Suuuure it isn't" Gray smirked teasingly.

"It's not!" she stomped with her foot feeling annoyed all of a sudden "Hmf! But see if care, I'm going back!"

Jeez, sometimes her guild mates could be so childish!

With her head held high Lucy hugged the book tightly against her bosom, and with loud stomps made her way outside, away from her somewhat annoying team.


A/N: If I didn't know better I would say I unconsciously made Natsu suffer from PTSD, with the flashback, nightmares, suppressing things o.o

Anyhow, I just finished the notes for the last battle and is about to type the first edition. Hopefully it'll be epic and... not bad. Bad is not good and we want good!

Actually that reminds me, if you have any suggestions or opinions about the upcoming battle, feel free to send me a pm, before this arc/act finishes. Of course I have already a lot planned, but if there is a fight you would love to see, then I'm open for ideas. So yeah, I'm hereby giving you guys the power to have an influence on who fights or who teams up on an opponent :)

Cakes and bunnies! :3

That is all...

/H