"There's my beautiful birthday girl," I say to Holly as I lift her into my arms from the cot and she gives a little smile.
"Our birthday girl," Nick says as the smile previously on my face quickly faded at his tone of voice but I try to move past it.
"Yeah our little birthday girl." I look up to him, smiling once again yet he refuses to meet my eye and I can't help but feel disheartened.
"What times everyone coming?" He asks me bluntly, going over to the sink to clear up the plates from breakfast.
"I told people around 12ish so we've got a few hours to make sure everything is set up. I know she probably won't remember this but it's Hol's first birthday and I really want us to be able to look back at it and show her pictures and everything. I just want today to be a success."
"Well this place looks great Carla," Sarah tells me as her Bethany and Gail all come into our thankfully big flat, admiring the decorations that Nick and I had put up.
"Aww thank you, would you guys like a drink?" I ask, taking them over to the drinks area as I gaze around at the party.
We'd spent the whole of the morning and Friday night decorating the flat and I can't help but feel proud of how it looks. I just wanted everything to be perfect for Holly and I can tell she's enjoying it as I look over to see her sat in her Uncle David's lap as Kylie laughs at his attempt at peek-a-boo.
After getting drinks for a few people and making small talk, I go over to Nick. However, the smile I have as I approach quickly disappears when I see the look on his face.
"Hey, are you okay?" I ask him, standing next to him.
"Hmm? Yeah I'm fine." He almost dismisses me as I look at him dejectedly.
"Nick you aren't. I don't want to get into this here because today is about Holly but I just don't understand. You've been in a mood with me all week, I don't get it." I say as he looks at me almost apologetically but still remains silent for a few moments.
"Are there many more people coming?" Nick asks me, plainly as I nod.
"Yeah a few I think." I tell him.
"Like, who?" He questions as I give him a confused look.
"Umm I'm not sure, I'd have to check my list, why?" I say but he just simply shakes his head at me.
"No reason, I just need to know if I need to get any more food out." He explains although I can't help but feel he isn't being truthful with me but I don't mention it.
"Nick?" I lean in closely towards him to kiss him but, as quickly as our lips have brushed, he's pulled away harshly,
"I need to go and see if anyone wants any more drinks." I nod in response to him as he walks off, leaving me standing alone.
As the party's in full swing, people are gathered around different areas of the flat but as I leave Holly on the sofa, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I see Nick once again standing alone. It's obvious some people had noticed the awkward atmosphere between us and I decide that we need to get past it so this day can be perfect for our daughter.
"Nick," I prepare to talk to him but he barely even acknowledges my presence before I gently shake his shoulder and he turns to me.
"What?" He asks bluntly and I can't help but feel taken aback by his tone of voice which has become a familiar feeling recently.
"Please talk to me. If something's bothering you, it'll make you feel better if you talk to someone about it. Please talk to me," I almost beg him as he looks at me with a look of what I can only presume is sadness in his eyes.
"Talking makes things better? So, how come you never talk to me nowadays?" He says as I look up at him, attempting to mask the look of panic that is no doubt in my eyes.
"What do you mean?" I ask, desperately although I'm petrified of what the answer might be, of the thought that he might know the secret that I've spent so long covering up out of not only fear, but shame. Shame that I'd let someone hurt me again and that I couldn't have done anything to stop it because I was too weak.
"Well you clearly prefer talking to other people don't you," he replies.
"Nick, I don't understand. What are you talking about?" I ask, this time completely confused by his demeanour.
He turns to me, a flash of anger in his eye which leaves me feeling slightly unnerved and it's like we're both so focused on our conversation that we've chosen to forget where we are and who's there.
"Peter." He simply says, almost in a whisper but I can hear the disgust evident in his voice as I look at him, momentarily fearing what Peter might have told him.
"What are you talking about, Nick?" I question him but before I can continue, he's cut me off.
"Don't lie to me!" He says, slightly louder, clearly catching the attention of people around as they turn to look.
"Nick," I say, trying to calm him down as I can see the anger radiating from him and I just can't understand why. Maybe, Robert was right. Maybe, he's angry because he knows that I kissed him first and he hates me for it. Maybe, he's angry because, just like he said, he just sees me as used and dirty and broken and now he doesn't want me anymore.
"Don't even try lying to me Carla. I know the truth."
Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. If I get enough reviews on this, I will try my best to update again within the next couple of days because I'm going on holiday so I doubt I'll be able to update over the next two weeks after the weekend. Please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed.
I've probably already said this but this is a Narla fic, not a Carter one so even though Peter's in the story it is still Narla.
