Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima


ACT IV: Aftermath – Psychological Wounds

Approximately X793

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

Chapter 20: Deal with the demon

Natsu wouldn't deny it, he felt absolutely furious. Why? Well the sight of the ice mage casually resting his arm around Lucy had made him so gosh darn frustrated. Like holy shit, it was like he wanted his demonic side to spawn just so he could unleash his anger. Of course he wouldn't do that towards Gray, after all they were friends so he didn't deserve being pummelled and beaten senseless.

All though... admittedly Natsu secretly wanted that it to happen, mainly because he needed to blow off some steam. Besides his emotions had been all over the place lately, so it would be great focusing on one feeling, because then he might gain just a tiny bit of control of his sporadic mind.

"Uhm... are we there yet?" Lucy asked sounding almost nervous, from her position on his back.

"Ohh.. yeah" Natsu said, even though he had no idea where they were going.

Actually... what the heck was he doing?

Well after stomping away from Gray, Happy and Luce, the Dragon Slayer realised that he had left the three of them all alone. Not that he thought anything would happen between them, but there was still this unreasonable and nagging feeling in his chest that made him feel both sad, but also really angry. To be more specific, then it felt like there was an invisible force which was trying to pull his stomach away into another dimension, leaving an empty and unbearable sadness in it's place.

Natsu didn't know that feeling very well, but he instinctively knew what it was. After all it wasn't like he was born yesterday, even though some might think that.

Jealousy...

Yup, the mighty Dragon Slayer felt something so tedious and silly as jealousy towards his own friend. How stupid was that, huh?

Back to the present, Natsu was still walking aimlessly around carrying Lucy, until they eventually left the city and reached a huge grass field, that stretched out further than the eyes could see.

"Uhm... this is it" Natsu said trying to sound confident.

"Ohh... kay?" Lucy said in a sceptic tone.

"Ye-yeah!" his voice shook because he felt somewhat disheartened, about what to do next.

"So?" she said sounding mildly angry.

"So?" Natsu gulped loudly, fearing she had caught on to his intentions already.

Or lack thereof... idiot...

"Are you gonna let me down or not?"

"Ahh, yeah right sorry" his cheeks blushed for a second as he gently placed her on the ground.

Lucy didn't say anything, but stood perfectly still as she started turning her head to take in their surroundings.

"Uhm..." the Dragon Slayer rubbed his neck sheepishly and looked at the sky "... so this is a grass field"

"I can see that" the blonde raised her eyebrow "Don't tell me you brought me here just to tell me that?"

"Well uhm d'uuhh of course not" he bit his lip for a second in thought.

"Then tell me why?" Lucy crossed her arms above her stomach.

"Obviously I..." Natsu turned his head frantically hoping to get an idea "... oh yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"I wanted to ask for some advice for when I'm meditating!" the Dragon Slayer nodded eagerly before slamming a clenched fist against his other hand.

"You've actually been doing that?" Lucy asked in surprise.

"Uh-huh" he said and avoided looking in her direction, hoping she didn't catch his lie "Of course"

"That's... good" Lucy smiled sadly and rubbed her arm "I just thought..." she sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

"Thought what?" he blinked feeling confused.

"Nevermind..." she opened her eyes and looked to the side, obviously avoiding looking in his direction.

"Come on, please tell me?" Natsu pleaded deeply hating to see the depressing aura that was suddenly surrounding the girl.

"Well I just thought..." she took a deep breath before shaking her head "No, forget it I'm just being selfish"

"Why would you say that?" the Dragon Slayer asked feeling really confused.

Lucy didn't say anything but faked a happy smile as she looked at him "It doesn't matter honestly. If you want to meditate alone, then that's fine"

"But I don't want to..." his eyes widened when he realised why she was sad. Because sure what he just told her, or well lied, was that he had been meditating alone. And why would Lucy be sad about that? Well because he had momentarily forgotten about their arrangement, about turning the meditating thing into an event. Which was kinda unforgivable, because Lucy had been super generous when she made the offer, knowing fully well that food and her help would be a brilliant motivational factor for him.

Furthermore she had been asking him frequently if he wanted to give it another shot, but Natsu always rubbed it off telling her they could do it another time.

He was such a douche bag! No wonder she looked wounded.. well there was nothing else to do than suck it up and remove the imaginary knife from her back.

"Look I'm sorry Luce" he exhaled a shaking breath and ruffled his hair with his hand "I... kinda lied about meditating alone"

"You did?" the blonde momentarily lit up before she narrowed her eyes in suspicion "Why would you lie about that?"

"Because I..." his mind blanked all of a sudden, trying to figure out how to explain his actions without sounding like a complete idiot.

"Come on, there's no reason to be embarrassed, you can tell me" the blonde encouraged him..

"Fine!" Natsu groaned in defeat "It was because I didn't have a reason to bring you here all right?"

"You didn't?" she asked sounding rather surprised by his direct answer.

"No..."

"Then why?"

"Because... reasons!" he waved with his hands above his head, hoping she wouldn't want to deliberate his answer.

"Reasons?"

"Mooh..." Natsu shook his head "... anyway, since I've got you on my own, you wanna go do the meditating thing?"

"Ohh well sure" Lucy nodded happily.

"Neat! Let's go then"

Phew, dodged the bullet there, Natsu thought to himself as they made their way to the lake that was closest to their location.

Honestly though, the Dragon Slayer felt really happy that he managed to avoid answering her question, because he didn't want to tell the girl that his behaviour was based on something as stupid as jealousy. Nope he would never admit that out loud, even if Elfman would tell him that owning up to your feelings is manly.

It didn't take long before they reached their location, where they silently sat down cross legged across from each other. Like the last time Lucy guided him until he was once more staring at his own glistening soul, that was shining in multiple and bright colours.

This time it didn't take long before the black flames once more spawned around his soul, but they weren't as potent our viscous as they had been the last time he saw it.

Natsu was just observing his soul, when he heard a demonic and high-pitched laughter, that echoed throughout his mind until it suddenly stopped. The emptiness that followed was almost terrifying because it forebode something ominous was about to happen. Actually he could feel it all over his body, almost as if all of his veins was being infused with acid, making all of his cells tingle and burn.

"I thought I had taken enough precautions to keep you away..." a demonic voice snarled "But evidently I'll have to hurt you too"

Natsu flinched as a ripple of pain rushed through his system, making it hard to breathe for some reason.

"Why...?" he asked feeling really confused.

"Because this isn't the time nor the place..." the demon snarled in a tone that was dripping with malice "... not when she's here"

"... what?"

"I'll make you see... yes..."

The black fire suddenly increased in volume, this time however he could feel it spreading through his body, burning every inch of him from the inside. As it did an unnatural form of madness and anger was unleashed making him panic momentarily, because it was too overwhelming to fight.

It hurt... it physically hurt like nothing he had ever felt before...

Natsu could hear a devastating and heart piercing scream all of a sudden, making his ears ring from the sheer volume of it.

"Stop it..." he heard his own voice saying both in his mind but also with his physical body.

"Make me" the air in his mind started to shimmer before a faint orange light appeared and formed the contours of his demonic personality.

"Like hell I'll make you!"

A growl formed in Natsu's throat as he launched himself towards the glistening demon, who started laughing uncontrollably. The laughing didn't stop when the Dragon Slayer's fist went straight through the demon, making the orange light spread out, before dissolving and vanishing.

"What?" he wondered because when the demon evaporated so did the pain rummaging through his body. At the same time he heard the sound of someone else screaming in terror and the sound was way too recognisable, that it sent a shiver down his spine.

Lucy... Natsu thought before he felt himself being eradicated from his mind. It was like a hook had gotten a hold of him, before it pulled him back into the physical world, where he quickly opened his eyes feeling rather confused.

"The heck..." the Dragon Slayer blinked and felt how his body was drenched in sweat, while all of his muscles was prickling in a weird way. Actually it kinda felt like he had just been electrocuted with extremely high voltages.

Fucking weird... the Dragon Slayer thought and took a deep breath to calm himself, before taking in his surroundings.

"What...?" he whispered feeling perplexed, because evidently he was crouching on his hands and knees, while Lucy was lying directly underneath him. Which essentially meant he was hovering above her shivering body.

How the heck did he get into that position? Natsu wondered before turning his head to stare at his right hand. To his surprise his markings was glowing and there was tiny black sparks glistening from his clenched hand. The worst part though, was seeing how the ground underneath his hand, was cracked and crumbling into tiny pebbles, clearly indicating he had smashed it unconsciously.

"No..." feeling horror struck Natsu's eyes widened as he turned his head to look at Lucy's head, that was mere centimetres away from where he had hit the ground.

He heard her scream... in his mind she had sounded so terrified about something.

Damn... Natsu gulped loudly, his mouth suddenly feeling really dry as a droplet of sweat fell from his forehead, before landing on Lucy's cheek.

"Are...?" the blonde said, her voice shivering "... are you okay?"

"Ye... yeah..." he answered and felt another droplet of sweat roll down his nose before dripping down on Lucy. None of them paid it any attention though, especially Natsu who quickly turned his head to look at his markings, because it seemed like the glow on them was starting to vanish.

"Luce... what...?" he asked in a low tone "... what happened?"

"Uhm..." the blonde bit her lips clearly struggling with her answer "... you..."

"Yeah?" the Dragon Slayer turned his head and stared down at Lucy who was avoiding looking in his direction.

"You were clearly hurting physically, so I tried waking you by shaking your shoulders" she sighed heavily and placed a clenched hand above her chest "then you started screaming all of a sudden..."

"Ohh..." Natsu mouthed and quickly realised that the first scream he had heard in his mind was himself.

"Then before I had time to react your markings started to glow, before you pushed me down on the ground and..." Lucy chuckled sounding nervous "... you clenched your fist clearly wanting to hit something, but fortunately I managed to dodge it in time"

"I... I'm sorry" Natsu shook his head feeling absolutely horrified, that he hadn't been in control of his own body and had been way too close in hitting Lucy's head. Yeah sure fortunately the celestial mage's quick reflexes had saved both of them from adding more unintended suffering to their wounds, but it was still a pretty dreadful situation. Especially because this might mean he would have to handle the demon on his own, because that was the only solution to avoid a similar situation. Sure he didn't want to do it alone, but then again if that was what it took then that was what he would do. After all Natsu would rather confront the demon alone, if the meditation meant his body unconsciously got physical and destructive.

"It's okay..." Lucy smiled warmly obviously trying to comfort him.

"Tsch!" Natsu snorted and gritted his teeth firmly against each other, not wanting to give in to the overwhelming mixture of emotions that was ravaging through his system.

"Please... don't worry about it, after all nothing happened" Lucy said in a caring and reassuring voice.

"Bullshit..." he shook his head in denial before leaning forwards to rest his forehead against hers.

"It's not" the blonde exhaled a shaking breath "Besides none of us really knew what would happen once you started meditating, so we couldn't prevent it from happening"

Natsu didn't know what to say to that so he kept his thoughts to himself.

"This... this isn't like you, you know" Lucy continued "I mean shouldn't you use this as motivation to be even better next time?"

Still not knowing what to say the Dragon Slayer kept his mouth shut.

"And you know what?" the blonde smiled before placing her hand on his shoulder "I'll be beside you all the way, you're not fighting this on your own"

Honest to god it felt like someone hit him in his stomach, when he heard her say that. Not in a bad way, it was more like his intestines was exploding in a ray of happiness and bubbles.

"Thank you..." Natsu whispered in a low voice.

"You're welcome"

"Yeah..." he chuckled in a sad tone, feeling really bold all of a sudden. Honest to god, fingers crossed and all that shit, he had no idea what he was about to do. All Natsu knew was he wanted to show his gratitude and for some reason hugging her wasn't enough. No, he had to do something more unique, that truly showed his gratitude.

But hey to hell with logic anyway, because he did whatever he wanted!

So with that in mind he moved his head upwards, before he very gently pressed his lips against her forehead. Natsu only lingered there for a second to take a deep breath, before he leaned backwards making him hover above the blushing celestial mage.

"So..." he smiled a toothy grin a small blush suddenly spawning on his cheeks.

"S-so?" Lucy stuttered clearly perplexed about the situation.

"We just finished a session, so that means it's time for food!"

"I... ohh... right"

"Neat!" the Dragon Slayer nodded to himself feeling somewhat rejuvenated all of a sudden, as he jumped up on to his feet, where he clenched his fists in determination.

"Uh-huh..." Lucy chuckled and got into a standing position as well.

"Yosh, let's go!" Natsu smile widened before he grabbed Lucy's hand and dragged her along towards the city.

No matter what would happen, it would all turn up fine in the end, because they had each others back, right?

~ o ~ O ~ o ~

Natsu and Lucy had an amazing day, after the whole meditating business. First they went to grab something to eat, before they decided to go to the guild to see if something entertaining was happening. Well knowing their guild it couldn't be totally boring and even if it was, they could always start their own party. Fortunately it wasn't boring and soon they found themselves talking to their mates, Natsu occasionally getting into a brawl with different individuals.

"What a day..." the Dragon Slayer said while stretching his arms above his head as he entered his home.

Honest to god he felt so exhausted and tired, that the prospect of sleep was almost welcoming, even though it was highly plausible he would suffer from nightmares.

A yawn spawned all of a sudden making his jaw crack.

"Mmm..." Natsu smacked with his tongue inside his mouth, before he lazily stripped leaving a trail of clothes on the floor until he eventually reached his bed.

Another yawn spawned this time tears spawned in the corner of his eyes, but he ignored that as he ducked underneath his blanket.

"Ahhh" the Dragon Slayer sighed loudly before closing his eyes, welcoming sleep to take over. It didn't take more than a few seconds before he was snoring loudly, his mind drowned in darkness and nothing else. It was rather nice not dreaming about anything, but unfortunately his peaceful state was suddenly interrupted when Natsu felt a presence filled with malice enter his domain.

"You..." a low snarling voice said from somewhere in the darkness and before the Dragon Slayer knew it, he was in the same spot of his mind he entered when he had been meditating, his spirit glistening unaffected in various colours.

"What...?" bewildered Natsu watched as a few droplets in a crimson colour suddenly started to fall down from above, landing and creating a small puddle next to his own pure soul.

It looked suspiciously a lot like blood that started to vibrate before it started shining in a bright orange colour. The colour was pleasant and inviting as it started to shine more brightly, before the droplets of what looked like blood started to levitate and spin until it started taking the form of a ball. Once it was formed the orange light seemed to grow around the ball, until it was a massive and huge ball the same size as his own soul. When it looked like the sphere looking thing was finished evolving, the red ball started moving making it look like it was an independent liquid that was swimming around in the orange mass.

It was actually pretty weird, because the ball looked so steady and firm when he compared it to his own vivid, radiating essence that was right next to it.

"Stubborn one aren't ya" the ball seemed to speak all of a sudden in a low voice.

"What..?"

"Why do you so desperately seek the past, when you don't want to acknowledge what happened? Isn't that contradicting and cynical?"

"Where are you?"

"You know where the heck I am" the ball snarled in anger "I'm where I've always been, you've just been ignorant and failed to see me. After all I've always been inside of you"

"What do you mean?"

"You've got to be kidding me, how can you be sooo fucking stupid" the voice spat impatiently "I've always been a part of you, even if most of me was sealed away in that stupid book Zeref created"

"No you haven't" doubt but also fear started rummaging through his system.

"Yeah I have" the demonic voice chuckled wickedly "And you know that deep down"

"Nuhh-uhh..." still being in denial and horror struck, Natsu suddenly felt cold sweat trickling down his forehead.

"Remember how you felt when someone threatened something precious to you? All the times you had to protect something, when immoral or injustice things happened? You remember that intense angry feeling that seemed to consume you and fuel your fire?" the voice laughed mockingly.

"But..." the Dragon Slayer felt an unpleasant shiver run down his spine.

"Yeah, that was me... in times like that your eyes would shine in a red colour, but maybe you didn't notice that?"

"Well no" Natsu snorted in defiance "It's not like I'm carrying a mirror with me"

"Let me give you some examples then... one of the times it happened was when Lucy from the future died and you cried your eyeballs out, swearing you would protect her future. Another was back when you fought against Zancrow. Ohh and then there's the time you fought against Jellal "

"I..." the Dragon Slayer gulped not sure what to say, because when he thought about it, at those times he had given into the overwhelming feelings. It wasn't 100 percent, but it was enough to make him feel like he had lost a huge part of rationality, before becoming more animalistic. Of course he had always explained this, by being more committed to his instincts than others, but the possibility that it was his demonic nature was sounding rather plausible.

"You're starting to get it now..."

"But... how?"

"It's simple really and you said it yourself. I'm you and you're me"

"Yeah, but I still don't get it"

"Mmm... well we both originated from the same source. The only thing different is I'm you in the past, you're me in the present. To put it more simply it's like you're having a split personality"

"I... see...?"

"No you don't" the demon made a sighing sound "Jeez, sometimes I wonder if I even want to acknowledge you. Like seriously how can my intellect drop to such a level, I revert into being an idiot?"

"Oy, I'm not an idiot! And besides I would rather be stupid than insane like you!"

"Ohh but it comes with the territory" the demon chuckled "In order to keep the curse in check, I had to figure out a method to suppress it so it didn't go off in... mmm... delicate situations"

"So you're saying I'll go insane too?" he asked not liking that idea at all.

"Not necessarily, no... I guess you could try to use other methods to keep it in check"

"Okay... so... how do I accept the past?"

"You really sure you're ready for this?"

"I have to be" Natsu said in a confident tone "There's another war coming and I need to be in control for when it happens"

There was a long pause before the demon eventually spoke "Alright, I'll show you"

"Really?!" Natsu said in excitement feeling relieved he didn't have to beg or do something really embarrassing to get the demon's consent.

"Uh-huh..." the contours of the demon spawned in the same glistening orange light as it had the last time Natsu saw him "... as you might have noticed there's this huge ball behind me, right?"

"Well yeah it's kinda hard to avoid"

"That's essentially me, or your past to be more correct. Last time you were here you tried to connect with it, but it resulted in black flames trying to consume your soul, remember that?"

"I do"

"Back then you were with the blonde chick, so I didn't want to come into contact with you. That's why I used the flames as a barrier, hindering you to enter this place. You understand why I did that don't you?"

"Well yeah... wait a second that reminds me, I need to kick your butt for making me almost hit Lucy" Natsu growled in anger.

"I did it for your own damn good!" the demon snapped back "Who knows what you might do to her, once we really get started with this? Actually scratch that, with your strength it's highly likely that you would kill her without knowing so, and you don't want that now do you?"

"Well no, obviously not"

"Great! I'm glad that's settled then" the demon snorted impatiently "Now let's get down to it shall we? Essentially we need the ball to unite with your spirit over there" the demon pointed at the essence of his soul "We need to do this one small step at the time for you to regain your memory, so it isn't too overwhelming because that might actually destroy your mind"

"We'll just make sure not to do that then" Natsu said eager to get started "So! When I remember everything I can control the demonic power?"

"You don't have to remember it no, but it would be for the best since it'll be easier for you to control the curse"

"Neat..." he thought this over for a second "... you know for being the most evil demon ever created, you're awfully helpful"

"Hm?" the demon blinked looking mildly astonished "Why wouldn't I be? I mean it's for the best for both of us if we're united"

"I... see... but hey, how do I get the curse without the... remembering things? I mean I kinda need the power if the war suddenly unfolds"

"Well let's make a deal" the demon smirked "I'll give you one of your memories back and after that I'll show you how it works, kay?"

"Do I have to?" Natsu groaned suddenly feeling like he was Erza's student again.

"You have to get started with it sooner or later anyway" the demon shrugged lazily.

"Fine! What you want me to do?" he said suddenly dreading what was about to happen.

"Excellent!" his opponent smiled wickedly before turning around on his heels, before walking over to the orange sphere. Once it was there he used his claw like hand to rummage inside the orange ball. After a while it seemed like his demonic self finally found what he was searching for and pulled his hand out of the ball. In it was something that looked like liquid gold.

"This..." the demon raised his hand making it easier for Natsu to see what it was "... is a memory from the past. In order for it to work effortlessly you need to willingly drink the substance. After that you'll relieve the memory as it happened"

"So I have to relieve everything you did and... wait..." Natsu said feeling sceptic "wouldn't that mean I'll have to relive everything that happened when I was you? I mean do I have to remember stupid stuff like taking a dumb and shit like that?"

"No, you just have to relieve the most important parts. Our most valuable memories" the demon answered and stepped closer to him.

"Wait!" the Dragon Slayer yelled making his opponent stop "How am I supposed to drink it? I mean I'm not really here am I?"

"Ahh I see why that might pose a problem now" the demon sighed heavily before continuing "You can't see it yourself but right now you're a floating ball, but I guess you need to change form. Okay I want you to focus on your body. Feel how your spirit is in every fibre and every muscle of yourself"

Not really sure why that would help Natsu did what he was told. As he did small glistening droplets started coming over to him from his multicoloured spirit. Once they reached him they started forming into something that looked a lot like the contours of his own body. It was a faint almost invisible form, but it was there and glistening in various colours.

"Neat..." Natsu muttered as he looked down at his hand, which he started opening and closing to try his bodily functions.

"Now with that out of the way, it's time for you to drink this" the demon said and a second later he was right in front of the Dragon Slayer.

"Hold on a second I ain't drinking from your claw!" Natsu shook his head and waved with his hands dismissively in front of him.

"Ohh yes you are" his opponent said and in a swift movement the demon grabbed his Natsu's hair, joinking his head backwards thereby earning a painful yell from the Dragon Slayer. As the sound escaped from Natsu the demon used this as an opportunity to pour down the liquid into the Dragon Slayer's mouth. Once that was over with the demon removed his claw like hand from Natsu's hair, almost making the pink haired kid fall backwards from the lack of pressure.

Feeling thoroughly pissed by being assaulted like that, Natsu would be more than happy to deliver a punch to the demon's face. Or well that was until he sank the liquid and immediately felt how it started to burn in his throat and down to his stomach as it went down.

"Ugh!"Natsu groaned in pain and grabbed his neck with both of his hands, feeling an unpleasant heat starting to spread from his throat and stomach throughout his body.

It was really agonising, making him feel like each and every part of him was being shred into tiny pieces. As the pain seemed to intensify saliva started to stream down his chin, before he felt his knees buckle underneath him.

"... stop... it..." Natsu managed to say, but he didn't receive an answer.

His head was starting to throb too, making the pain spread at a fast pace through every cell in his brain. In all honesty Natsu wouldn't be surprised if he was bleeding and suffering from internal wounds.

A scream escaped his mouth as he started smashing his hands against the ground, because the pain was starting to reach a level, where he felt like he had to do something, anything really to try and avert his attention from the agonising pain.

It didn't help... no... it just seemed to worsen for each second that passed by, until something inside of him seemed to snap and when it did, he suddenly found himself being pulled away into a pool of darkness.


A/N: Yeah Natsu is talking to himself – He's crazy ;)

I changed the rating for this story because I realised it contains a lot of angst/gore. However that doesn't mean there'll suddenly be lemons. I'm not a lemon girl o.o

With that said, I hope you enjoyed the cute moment because there won't be anything romantic in a while. Why not? Well because we're really close to entering the next act/arc XD

So yeah! Get ready to get your hearts broken in the next chapter. It's a sappy one, like for reals y'all!

Have a good one out there *heart sign*