A/N: Hey guys so I hope I haven't lost you all whilst I drafted out this story, all of my reviewers seem to be on vacation or something. Look guys, I think you pretty much all know by now that I'm not in a good place. I'm just breaking down, honestly, and it's so goddamn frustrating, especially since you guys are suffering for it, so I'm sorry.

Simon POV

When Simon woke up it took him a moment to remember what had happened. How he had blacked out. It also took him a moment to realise that there was a tube sticking out of his hand.

Now that's a little weird... He thought drowsily. I don't remember putting that there... He stared at the tube for a little while, then went back to looking around the room. It was clear he was in a private hospital room, no doubt a perk of being Baz's boyfriend, and the oxygen mask that was helping him breathe was also partly obscuring his vision, so there was no looking straight forwards. He tried to sit up then, before realising there was someone else in the room with him, holding his shoulders so he couldn't get up. They were strong.

"Snow? Are you with me?" Asked a voice he was sure he knew better than his own.

Another figure walked into the room then. He could see her better, as she was on his right side. Blonde hair, green eyes, a kind face. He made these connections as she took the oxygen mask from him.

He immediately felt the loss, but tried not to show it, feeling that it might mean he would have to stay in the musky smelling hospital for a longer time. The nurse asked him a few questions, wrote some stuff down, exchanged a few looks at Baz, and then left the two of them in peace. Baz moved from where he was standing to pulling up a chair and taking Simon's hand within seconds.

"So how are you really feeling?" He started, obviously having picked up on Simon's obvious lies to the nurse. Well, obvious to the people who really knew Simon.

"I'm ok, a little disorientated, but I don't feel sick, thank Crowley." He said.

Baz said nothing.

And it was then that he got the idea that something was wrong. Why, you ask? Because Baz never, ever lets the opportunity to make a sarcastic comment slip by him. Not like he had just done thirty seconds ago.

"Baz? Are you alright?" I asked, and Baz just shook his head. He opened his mouth as if to say something when the door was flung open by a tall man with greyish hair who was clearly the doctor, and he remained silent.

The doctor came to stand by his bedside, which took all but 4 steps from the door.

"So Mr Snow... It seems I've ended up with the unfortunate task of breaking the news to you."

"What news?" Asked Simon, sitting up slowly.

The doctor sighed. "You have lung cancer. I'm very sorry..." He said, and he genuinely did look sorry, but Simon didn't really hear him. It didn't really compute, it was too big a concept.

Cancer.

He just nodded not knowing what to say.

"Look I know it can be a lot to take in-"

"How long?" Simon asked, interrupting him.

And then the doctor looked even more pained.

"That depends. If we can remove the cancerous tissues and replace them with someone else's donation then you'll be fine."

"And if not?" Simon demanded, not willing to know any less than Baz did.

"6 months." The doctor told him, "Usually." He added.

Simon just sat in silence until the doctor left, and it was after he left that everything went to hell. He closed his eyes, and then heard a noise. Sniffling, and opened his eyes again, and looked around, and realised, that Baz was crying. Basilton Pitch, was crying.

Simon stared at him like he'd grown 6 heads.

"What are you doing?" He asked, like an idiot. Baz laughed through his tears, which only made him cry harder, leaning against a wall as he had been when the doctor had left.

"What does it look like Simon? I'm crying that's what!"

"But you never cry." Simon said.

And then Baz did something quite unexpected. He walked across the room with purpose, leaned down, and kissed Simon senseless, his arms on either side of Simon's head. Simon felt Baz's tears fall onto his face.

"I can't lose you... I can't I can't... My Mage's heir... I can't..." He whispered, and Simon realised, for the first time, Baz was human. He could be broken, and Simon had done it. He had broken Ba so irreversibly in a single day.

One minute they were the happiest people on the planet, and now... Now this had happened.

"You'll never lose me." Whispered Simon.

Xxx

Simon was discharged a few days later, after he had been given about a million and a half pills to take, and was now sitting at home staring into the camera.

And he had no idea what to say.

He had never really even come out to his subscribers, thinking he had loads of time and now... Now he had no time at all. So he just sat down and said what he was thinking.

Hey guys... So, I'm sorry I've been gone. And no it's not because I actually have a life that's not on here, I've just been horribly sick for the past week. I was horribly sick, alone, in my flat, while my roommate Baz, was away at some meeting about his next book which I know a load of you are excited about. But anyway, he came home, and I pretty much passed out on him, and gave him a heart attack so I went to the hospital, after he called 999 or carried me there I don't know.

The next thing I know is waking up to him at my bedside, doctors and nurses asking me how I was feeling, having to lie to them a lot and then...

Then this serious business looking doctor comes in, and takes the oh-so-far- four steps to my bedside...

And tells me I have cancer.

Yeah, I know. It sucks. But I don't want you all to worry, I'm feeling ok. But, I have 6 months, if they can't cure me.

And I have done nothing with my life.

So I just... I want to do something with my life before I... Before I go.

So, next week I'll be publishing a video with something you all should know, but before that, I've decide what I want to do, and that involves my roommate Baz.

He'll be writing a book very soon as well as the sequel that you're all waiting for, and it will be the story of our lives, and even if you've seen every one of these videos, you won't know any of what it's in it.

Now, here's where it gets interesting. I'm asking every single one of you to make a video response to this video, tell your fans, tell your friends, tell tumblr, twitter, everyone. Because this book won't just be written by Baz. I want each and every single one of you involved, whether you want to contribute to the cover, or with the writing or the marketing, I'm inviting all of you to the biggest planning conference ever in Hyde Park, which is located in London. You can't miss it. And I would absolutely love it if you guys could get this book to be a bestseller. Because, if nothing else, I want to give Baz the best start in a new life without me.

So, that's it for now, thanks guys.

I love you all.