She knocked twice and waited. She wasn't going to leave until someone answered the door, despite the fact that it was almost one am, but luckily, within a few seconds the door swung open and Amy was faced by a bleary eyed Hotch. He looked at her. "Hi," she said weakly. He tried to smile at her but instead, wrapped his arms around her, squeezing tightly, his head buried in her shoulder, his entire body shaking in her arms. "I'm so sorry." She rubbed his back and stroked his hair. "Aaron, I'm so, so sorry." She bit her lip until she tasted blood to keep from crying. It was the last thing he needed. "Where's Jack?"
Aaron pulled away, his eyes red and wet, his face red and stained with tears. "He's in my room. He won't sleep in his own. He hasn't slept a full night since-" He covered his face in his hands. Amy pulled his close again.
"Shush." She led him inside the apartment, sat him on the couch and sat next to him. She held him close to her and rocked back and forth with him, his head resting on her shoulder as she rubbed his back with one hand and held his hand with the other. "Shush. It's going to be alright. You'll get through this. You both will."
Aaron wiped his nose and looked at her. "I thought you were in Vietnam."
"I got your messages the second I got back to France. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here for you."
"I forgot until after I left the messages. There was nothing you could have done. This was all my fault." He shook his head.
"No," Amy said, angrily, "this is not your fault. Never, EVER let me hear you say that again. You did not pull the trigger. That... bastard... did. And you: Aaron, you're the reason your son's alive." Aaron looked at her, confused. "You're not the only one who left me messages."
"Jessica?" Amy nodded. "I wake up thinking I was too late. That he got Jack as well; that Jessica and Haley's family are going to take Jack from me."
"Take it from me. You'll drive yourself crazy. You can't let the nightmares be what drive you."
"I told my boss that I'd go back to work next week. But I don't know if I can. Jessica said she'd help with Jack but she has her own family I can't..."
"Aaron, stop." She stood up, walked to the liqour cabinet and poured him a large drink. She walked back over and handed it to him. "Drink."
He leaned against her again as he sipped on the drink. Amy closed her eyes. Within seconds she heard the small footfalls and a small voice calling for Daddy. She and Hotch looked up. Her breath caught in her throat. Standing in front of her was Jack. Little baby Jack. But not so much a baby any more. A four year old.
"Hey, buddy. You should be asleep."
Jack shook his head as he walked over to the couch where Amy and Hotch were sitting. He rubbed his sleeve across his face. "You weren't there. I thought the bad man might find me if I called you." Amy's heart broke and tears built up in her eyes.
"Come here." Aaron held out his hand to his son. Jack took it and climbed onto the couch between the two, keeping close to his father. "Jack, do you remember Amy?" Jack thought for a second, looking at Amy as though remembering someone from a dream and then shook his head.
She smiled softly and tucked her hair behind her ear. "That's ok. I haven't seen you since you were about 2 years old. That's a long time ago."
"Amy's a friend of mine," Aaron explained as he put his arm around Jack. Jack rested his head against Hotch's chest, sleepy. "Me and mom made her your godmother when you were a baby."
"I bought you something." She reached into her bag. "Your aunt Jess told me you like superheroes so..." She pulled out a wrapped box.
Jack looked at Aaron, who smiled weakly. Curious, Jack climbed onto her lap, took the present and began unwrapping. He stared at the Batman figure curiously, turning the box around in his little hands. "Who's this?" He stared up at Amy.
"That's Batman. But, um, he's not really a superhero. You see Batman doesn't have any super powers but this man..." She pointed at the Commisioner Gordon figurine. "...he's a police officer. And sometimes, when bad things start happening, he turns on a light and Batman knows that the police need his help and he helps them and catches bad guys."
Jack stared intently at the figurine, as if putting together a puzzle, then he smiled brightly. "Like Daddy?"
"Yep. Just like Daddy. And Batman's going to look after you. Just like your daddy, just like your aunt Jess and just like me." He leaned against her chest and she kissed his head.
Slowly his smile fell. "My mommy's in heaven." Aaron stood up, mumbling something about water .
"I know."
"You weren't at the f... fu..." Jack looked confused.
"The funeral?" Jack nodded, returning to playing with his new toy. "I know and I am so so sorry I couldn't be there. I wish I could've been. For your dad. And you."
Aaron reappeared from the kitchen. "Jack, you need to go back to bed."
Jack shook his head vigourously. "You have to come with me."
Aaron nodded. "I'll be in in a minute." Jack didn't move."
Amy lifted Jacck off her lap. "You should both go to bed. I can crash on the couch." Aaron began to protest. "I've slept in worse places. Go."
Jack said goodnight to Amy and took his fathers hand.
An hour later and the soft snoring that Amy had heard before had stopped. She heard talking.
Then Aaron came out of the room. He leaned his head on the kitchen counter.
"You're supposed to be sleeping."
"He woke up an I can't get him back to sleep."
"Come on. Let me try." She walked into the bedroom, followed by Hotch. "I thought you two were supposed to be sleeping."
"I was," Jack said angrily. "But I woke up and Daddy was wide awake. Even though he said he was going to go to sleep 'cause Batman can take care of us." Amy saw the Batman doll clutched in Jack's hands and smiled softly. He crooked his finger, indicating Amy walk over to him. He cupped his hands over her ear. "Daddy's need sleep too," he whispered, "to catch bad guys."
"You're right, Jack." She began tucking the little boy into the bed. "Daddy's do need sleep too. Which is why I'm here to make sure you both are sleeping." She looked at Aaron. "That means you too." Hotch made no movement but stood facing Amy. "Aaron." She pointed at the bed. He trudged over. "Now both of you. Go back to sleep. I'm going to be right outside the whole time."
"Promise?" Jack asked. He was already falling sound asleep.
Amy bent over and kissed his forehead. "I promise, buddy."
When Hotch woke for his first day back and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Jack, he was surprised to be met with the sound of French. He had never really thought about Amy being able to speak French; he more expected her to have enough to get by but not to be so fluent. In the last week, they hadn't spoken much about her life in Paris.
"S'il vous plait." He inched closer to the living room. "Ma famille-" She remained quiet as Hotch assumed the person on the other end was speaking. "Dacord. Je quitte."
When he walked into the living room, Amy was sitting Indian style on the couch amid duvets and pillows, her forehead resting in her hand, an exasperated look on her face. "I haven't taken french since high school, but I think you just quit your job."
"I did." Amy walked past him to the kitchen and opened the cupboard. "You might want to wake him."
"I'll give him a few more minutes." He watched her pull three bowls out of the cupboard and place them on the counter. "Amy-"
"Don't lecture me." She poured cereal into the three bowls.
"Amy, you can't just quit your job. What are you going to do?"
She grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him to a seat at the kitchen table. "I can stay here."
"Amy..." He didn't know how to follow up.
"Aaron. You need help with Jack AND you need help with you." She placed two of the three bowls on the table opposite each other and placed the third between them.
"Amy," he repeated.
"Aaron. You've been here for me. Let me return the favour."
"Amy." He walked over and hugged her. "Thank you."
She smiled into his arm. "It must suck knowing I'm your only friend."
