A/N: Needed a break.
Hmm, what's up with Yukio in his chapter? (Yukio Fuji = older brother)
(I know, it's not fair but I told you guys to trust me…)
Disclaimer: Takeshi Konomi thinks Prince of Tennis isn't long enough.
Chapter Sixty Four
He seated Fuji in the passenger's seat and walked around to climb in the car with her. Yukio didn't start the engine straight away. He leant back and breathed out – not to Fuji's pace but to his own. He had no reason to not be content, giving himself a moment to reminisce.
It was over seven years ago, the first time Fuji lost it. Nobody in the family understood why where Fuji got the idea that Yumi no longer liked her. That what upset her. Being so young, Fuji didn't know how to control her energy and accidentally lashed out at Yumi. She didn't mean it. With Yumi being just as young… no, with both of them being so young, they didn't know what was developing in them or what the release of it would cause. The second time, Yukio wasn't around to calm Fuji down when she nearly lost her rag with a stranger having just moved to Tokyo.
She would never grow out of it. It was something in the blood. If anything, she was controlling it well, but something got in her way. If the past was anything to go by, she must have thought someone no longer liked her.
Yukio leant forward on the steering wheel and wondered. Someone managed to dislodge her stronghold… maybe one of her so-called friends. Yukio turned to look into the darkened classrooms. Someone in there managed to disrupt her flow.
"You can't help it sometimes, Sumiko. It's not your fault. We are 'mountains' by name. We aren't easily moved, but when we are, we all cause earthquakes. You, me, and Yu-chan too. We get it from dad."
Yukio glanced over at Fuji. He didn't like the lethargic look in her eyes. He reached over and caught a few more tears before locking her seatbelt in.
"Why are you crying?" He asked, his tone a little different.
Fuji heard it and turned away. "…because," She cleared her throat. "of many things… not just today."
"Let's hear it."
"Aniki." She grew irritated, mainly because of her injury, and hoped that Yukio would get the hint to leave it as it was.
"Tell me and I'll spare you having to explain to mum and dad, and auntie, who's coming down today." The smile made it sound as if he was enjoying himself.
She wasn't in the mood and sunk down in her seat. "…Got complacent."
Yukio peered out the window and saw some teachers and students walking at a pace towards the entrance. One in particular wore a bright pink jump suit, and he recognised Kikumaru walking slightly behind.
He shuddered at the sight of that old, recognisable face and thought it best to start the engine. He didn't want to have a warm conversation with Ryuzaki-sensei. Instead, when they got to the school gate and noticed him in the car with Fuji, he stuck his tongue out playfully and drove off. He peered into his rear view mirror to see that the old lady had walked out into the road. Right now, he didn't want to hear anyone's explanation but Fuji's. No small level of high school bickering would leave her in his listless state.
He waited until he reached his first red light before posing a quiet Fuji a few questions. "Who upset you?" It was a confident question on his part, which meant he wasn't messing around. He wanted the truth.
Fuji blinked. She heard the changing tone in her brother's voice and assumed the worse. She looked out the side window and wiped the side of her face slowly. "No one."
"Ah, how can I help you if you don't tell me who broke your smile."
She brought that same hand round to fix her hair. "Yumi did."
"Who else? Which of your many friends would make you like this?"
"…They can't be called friends." She muttered.
Yukio struck his hand out to catch Fuji's before she wiped her other cheek, leaving one hand on the wheel. She looked across to him through her hair. He had his eyes on the road. When it was safe to, he flicked her a quick glance. His pleasant smile said everything.
She didn't like to admit it; her brother was stronger, that part of him that could pull the words right out of you. (Where do you think she learnt it from!) He didn't have to tell her to stop fidgeting, she knew to stop and to hurry up and talk. Fuji lowered her hand into her lap and stared across to him once he let go. With every reason, she wanted to tell him to save herself the confusion she put Tezuka through… but she knew her brother. With such a pleased look on his face, he definitely wanted to meet those she would mention and do something he shouldn't. She didn't want to talk, but doing that has already caused her much trouble.
"…the one I would walk home with-"
"What did Hisoki Sai do to you?" He spoke over her.
She hesitated. She didn't think he would guess his name straight away. His mind was certainly switched on.
"You don't need to worry about him." She wanted to stop him interfering.
"Why?"
She caught a few more tears. "I really hurt him yesterday. And then my vice captain-"
"Say no more. I know Leiko Arai. Is that why you hurt yourself?"
"Yeah. I… I went to punch her… missed, and hit the lockers. Oishi-kun bandaged my hand for me…"
He hummed, pleased that she told him, however reluctant she was. He carried on thought the streets leaving her for the moment. Then, he remembered something. He slowed down a little and asked her something different, more to the benefit of his curiosity.
"What about the one you whispered in your sleep?"
"I don't talk in my sleep." She muttered.
Yukio signalled left and waiting until he had made the turn before revealing the name. "Kunimitsu Tezuka. Who is he?"
She wanted to gasp. Has she ever spoken to her brother about Tezuka? No! Was her brother spying on her? Of course not! And to even know his first name? She was slightly relieved that it was Tezuka's name she was murmuring in her sleep but the thought that she did talk in her sleep made her cover her mouth. That had little to do with anything. Why was Yukio talking about Tezuka? What did he have to do with anything right now… well…
Yukio grinned brightly "Is he your boyfriend?"
The word excited her, but too inappropriate to really enjoy its meaning. "Stop it, aniki."
"Ooh, oh. I see. It all makes sense now. I bet you want to see him right now, right?"
"Aniki!"
"Where is he?"
"I don't like when you get like this. I don't what to think about him."
He stopped the car abruptly. The car behind just missed and punched their horn in disbelief as they drove around. Fuji sat up in her seat and turned to her brother.
"You don't want to think about the one you love? What did he do to you?"
Why was he so sharp? She gripped her right hand tightly and slowly looked to her lap. He refused to move the car until she gave him an explanation. Fuji could feel the tears welling up again and closed her eyes.
"Ah, he must have really hurt you. Where is he so I can talk to him?"
"You're wrong!" She didn't mean to shout. The words just burst out of her.
"How can I be wrong?"
"You're wrong. He…" Mind you, he hasn't done anything to hurt her, but that unavoidable kiss didn't help.
Yukio chuckled a little.
She lowered her head to hide her eyes. "Why do you want to know?"
"Anyway, let's get you to *A&E. The blood is starting to bleed through."
His abrupt change to the conversation irritated her. He was pulling her to his pace. She sighed and peered down to her hand. Though Oishi did a good job the blood was started to leak out. She didn't ignore the numbness that took over her fingers, wrist and arm. She just bared with it.
888
Fuji was able to close her eyes but she didn't like that Yukio was silent. Where she didn't have the strength to think, only to hold in the cries when Yukio went over a bump, Yukio stayed very still and focused, partly on the road and more towards what Fuji had revealed to him.
They rolled into the hospital car park and Yukio helped Fuji out. Once they showed the nurse the severity of Fuji's wound, they didn't have to wait long and were able to jump the queue for only ten minutes of their time.
Yukio went along with Fuji. She kept her head down. From the corner of her eye she saw a familiar had of pink hair, but thought nothing of it. If the young person didn't follow Fuji with her eyes, Fuji wouldn't have looked up and seen Chise staring at her, emotionlessly. Fuji stopped. Why was Chise sitting in the hospital, with doctors, nurses and patients rushing around her, and all she did was stare warily, annoyed and disappointed by something?
Fuji was going to talk to Chise, seeing that she wasn't going to say anything with her hand covering her mouth. Yukio had a hold of Fuji's right arm and, unbeknown to him, pulled her along. Fuji kept her gaze with Chise for as long as she could.
The nurse handed Fuji over to the doctor and he offered her a seat. Yukio stood by the door and watched as the doctor took the neatly and tightly wound bandages off to reveal the deep, open wound. Despite Fuji's painful moans, he squeeze and poked, prodded and turned her hands and fingers to see how inflamed the flesh was. She needed stitches, that was without question. The wound would take a few weeks to heal as the gash was about an inch wide and half an inch deep. He checked if any fragments of metal were lodged in the wound, which nearly brought Fuji to more tears as he had to pull at the loose flesh.
He tried to distract her mind by asking questions about how it happened. He wasn't to impressed to hear she was in a fight. He checked her weight and asked dietary questions and if she exercised. She answered them all. The doctor told her to be strong, but the pain was unspeakable. The needle was small but he pulled too emphuastically on the wire as it went through her skin. She was more then happy to leave. As she walked out someone else walked in. Busy day. It was only eight forty two. Before he dismissed her, he wrote out a prescription for some painkillers and disinfected for the stitched wound. She was instructed not to get them wet and to clean them once a day with clean cotton. All that she needed he jotted down and gave to Yukio.
"That went well." Yukio read over the notes
She was burning inside and didn't want to talk. She was about ready to crawl under her covers and hide for a few days. Before they left the hospital, they went to the inside pharmacy to get the odd bits she needed and left. As they walked through the busy corridors Fuji tried to locate Chise. Her face, hair and eyes you couldn't miss them. She looked all around. But she was a very elusive child. How stealthy. She couldn't help but think the look on Chise face was because of her. Did she disappoint Chise by not remaining calm in any situation?
Yukio bought a bottle of water and gave Fuji the painkillers to take now. They were pretty strong so she only needed one. They went back into the car. He helped with the seat belts but didn't start the car. Fuji didn't care. She closed her eyes to try and sleep as Yukio though quietly to himself.
"So… about Tezuka-san, where is he? Back at the school?"
She heard him loud and clear and ignored him. She was right to be weary of his changing tone and his stillness earlier.
"I'm thinking it'll be a good idea for you to see him."
"Yumi has a boyfriend." She tried to distract him.
He paused. "Really? Hmm."
Should she tell him? He was a 'Fuji', so he had the same mentality to turn up to his reform centre in Germany if need be. If Fuji had the thought to go, Yukio would actually do it. "…No, he's not back at school."
"Where?"
"He's going away."
"Oh. Have you had a chance to say bye?"
She delayed her answer. He was planning something. "He'll be back soon."
"Hmm, that's not how it should be. You wanna see him before he goes?"
He was pulling at her strings. Of course she wanted to see him. But not like this. Not after what she did to Sai and Arai. She didn't want to give Tezuka the opportunity to remind her not to be careless.
Damnit! She despised that word the most. She grabbed for Yukio's coat on the back seat and covered herself with it. Face and all. Yukio thought it odd but didn't question it.
Yukio started driving slowly, waiting for Fuji to tell him where this Tezuka-person was.
"Ne, Sumiko? Has he not asked you to see him off?"
"…Yeah."
"Have you called him to say that you'll miss him?"
He could hear that bothersome lump in her throat as she spoke. "… Aniki, please I don't want to see him."
Hmm, Yukio thought, there must be another way to get her to tell me… "Would he be at the train station? At home? Okinawa? China?" She didn't move. "Ferry? Airport?" She still didn't move but he felt a change in her energy. There was a slight prick in her heart when he said airport. So he's there. How far is he going? He wanted to keep asking but thought to give her a moment to breathe.
Yukio pulled up onto their streets. He had every intention of letting her out of the car to rest in bed. The 'Fuji' in him couldn't shake the notion of wanting to see this guy, All the way over at the airport. He stopped the car to think about it.
Fuji uncovered her face and went to open the door to get out. Being unable to use her left hand, she had to reach over, giving Yukio enough time to make up his mind and to lock all the doors.
"Aniki?"
"Sorry Sumiko, my curiosity has gotten the better of me. Sit back."
It was already too late to argue. She lost that chance when he locked the doors.
888
It took a while for the painkillers to kick in. She no longer felt the burning sensation in her arm. That was quickly replaced by drowsiness. She really didn't have the strength to argue. She wanted to go home. If only Yukio wasn't as stubborn as she and Yumi were maybe he would have come to his senses and let her get out of the car.
The drowsiness gave her the unwanted opportunity to think over what happened earlier in the morning, how she could have done things differently. Shouldn't have done it in front of the team. Should have waited until they were alone. Shouldn't have played into her hands…
"Come with me?" Her brother's voice woke her up.
They had arrived at the airport after an hour's drive . He may have been outside the car but his voice hit right inside her ear. If not his voice, the airbus that took off would have made her jump.
Fuji refused to move. Yukio was a patience soul and could definitely wait until she gave in to him.
"Aniki kidnapped me… I need to see a doctor. I can't feel my arm."
"We've already been to the doctors. Let's see if Tezuka-san is in this airport. It'll be a quick walk around and then we can go straight back home."
"Go by yourself."
"Kya, don't be like that. After all, I don't know what he looks like."
"…That's not my fault."
"I can tell, he's calling for you."
She covered her head again with his coat. Tezuka did ask her to see him off, and she did agree to. BUT she never expected to be in this state! No! She definitely couldn't let him see her like this. She sank lower in her seat refusing to so much as look outside let along get out of the car. He was in there, somewhere and she certainly didn't want to accidentally bump into him. And she knew she would. Her luck was turning bad, so she knew.
Slowly, she began to draw the coat from her eyes. She glanced out of the open door and Yukio wasn't facing her. She looked back at the car clock. Only eleven thirty in the morning. She didn't really know when his flight was heading out. For all she knew, he could be in the air already.
She dropped Yukio's coat in her lap and turned to get out, only on the thought that he was already out of the country. Yukio held his hand out to catch her and she awkwardly climbed out. He locked the door quickly.
"Aniki, wait." She felt dizzy.
"Don't worry, I'm here."
She rubbed her forehead. "Why are you so adamant for me to see him?"
He placed his keys in his trouser pockets and started walking with her. "It's all with good reason."
Now she knew she didn't like that tone in his voice. He was up to something.
"You really don't want him to see you like this do you? Why?"
She had a reason. It was the same reason why she didn't want to tell Tezuka that she was slowly drawing towards Atobe. It was the same reason why she never wanted him to know about that stupid bite mark. Even though Tezuka handled it will, it was for that reason that she didn't want to face him then and now.
Yukio assured her that they would have a quick look around for him. And if they didn't see him, they would head right back home.
Fuji didn't know how, but it only took Yukio four minutes to fine where Tezuka was sitting. Of all the entrances and routes he could have taken, he chose the right ones. He had found a café balcony for the two to hide away on, giving them the perfect view to look down on Tezuka and his family. When Yukio announced that he had found the guy in question, she didn't believe him. With all the people that passed through, it could have been anyone. She looked over the rails and flinched back quickly. It really was him. They were about a storey up, but she recognised that head of hair, and even his mother's frame from when she turned up outside his house. How did Yukio know to find him without asking for directions? Not once did he go the wrong way.
Yukio stood up and leant on the railings while Fuji sat away from the bars so that if Tezuka looked up he wouldn't see her. She left Yukio's coat in the car and couldn't cover her face with anything. Instead, she sunk down on the table and struggled to hide her head in her arms and had to settle with sitting with the back to the setting area belong.
"You're dating that colleague boy with the specks?" Yukio asked genuinely.
"I'm not dating anyone. And he's not a colleague boy."
"So he's an university student… taking advantage of my younger sister's affection." He mumbled.
Fuji scorned him. "Aniki, we're in the same year."
Yukio watched Tezuka a bit longer, taking in all his mannerisms and impassive expression, how he interacted with his family and the detached looks he gave those around him. "Sumiko… I don't like him."
She didn't expect that. "What do you mean?"
"Why would you like someone who's so immature?"
She wanted to look at Tezuka. "No, he's not. He's patient and understanding."
He rose an eyebrow. "He's a brat."
"Why… why would you say that?" It didn't make any sense to her.
Yukio lifted his arm and rested his head in his hands. "I'm surprised you can't feel it. Then again, that was kind of his intentions."
"Aniki?"
He sat down in his seat and faced her. She slowly lifted her head and focused her gaze on the people in front of her, sipping on juice at their leisure.
"I can feel it in the air-" Yukio began.
"You can say that with all these people here?" She snapped.
"Of course I can."
She turned to peer down at him when Yukio poked her forehead and eased her back into her seat.
"If you couldn't see it before, you won't be able to see it now." He leant forward, close towards her and said very plainly that he did not like Tezuka at all. He didn't think to break it to her lightly!
She didn't understand and began to breathe deeply. There weren't a lot of people she knew who would tell her that they didn't like Tezuka. It was always the opposed. The girls loved and admired him, and the guys respected him all the same. It didn't sit well with Fuji that her brother saw something different, something that not even her keen eyes could pick up. She didn't want her brother to dislike him, but he was a 'Fuji' so his intuition would be strong.
Yukio picked up the menu and scanned over the drinks' order. He didn't ask what Fuji wanted, he ordered her a melon soft drink and himself some warm sake. He sat back in his chair quietly with nothing particular on his mind. This left Fuji feeling even more confused than before. This morning was a horrid episode, and now 'this' right after it! Dragged down to the airport only to be told by her beloved brother that he didn't like the one she loved. And she really did love Tezuka. But that kiss with Arai… it pushed her away from him. And however much she wanted to jump down and sit beside him, her imperfections stopped her.
"If that's all you wanted to tell me, I'd like to go home." The mood was starting to get distasteful.
"Ah, Sumiko nee-chan, you're not mad at me are you? I'll tell you what I can see if it'll help you to understand."
"…don't care."
"Don't be stubborn."
"If aniki has seen something to be true, I don't want to know."
He saw an emptiness gloss over her eyes and wouldn't let up. "Do you really want him to leave without giving it back to you?"
"I haven't given him anything to take?"
"At the tournaments, when you played Yu-chan, I did notice something different about you. You lost something. And it wasn't only when you opened your eyes and that part of you came out. Something was very different about you before that. And I know it's his fault."
The waiter came over with their drinks. "He hasn't done anything to me. If anything he's been very patient with me. He's the one who has a right to be mad with me after I caused him so much pain-"
"And he seems to be returning the favour."
Returning the favour? As in making her feel pain? She shook her head. She was against it. Tezuka wasn't like that. He didn't do anything to her and he never would. He could have pushed Fuji away but he didn't. He draw her closer.
"What? But he… " She turned and peered down again. He was having a heart to heart with his grandfather.
"He may look like a man but he's still a boy who is guided by his emotions." Yukio added.
"Don't judge him."
"Not that there is anything wrong with being emotional. We are all human. When it involves you or Yu-chan, it's a different matter. And I don't like that fact that he's controlling you."
What? What was her brother on about? She held her mouth open, ready to say something back to him, but she didn't. What could she say to her brother when he was already sure? And Yukio was rarely wrong about such things. Instead, Fuji kept looking at Tezuka. His hair was the first thing she noticed. That head of messy, soft hair hung over his face, but she could barely see his face from this height. His mother tidied his clothing. There was a loud call of his name and title. The gang were here. She turned away.
"Why would you say those things to me? After I've had such a horrible morning."
"When it involves you an Yu-chan I can't turn a blind eye to it. I remembered back in Chiba, when you attacked Yu-chan, you were uncontrollable. Then when we came here, mum told me you flipped out at a neighbour's child, ready to go in a rage and you suddenly stopped. Like a great calm came over you. He calms you down, doesn't he?"
She nodded unwillingly.
"And… I can tell he's controlling you. You guys have kissed haven't you?"
She breathed an angry breath and frowned. "Why?"
He leant on the table and took a calm sip on his sake. "Because I have very good eyes. Go down and say good bye to him. And when you do, ask for your strength back."
"He…" hasn't taken my strength, she wanted to say… but she knew it was true…
…She knew, but why was that a bad thing? He made her go weak in the knees and her heart would flip whenever he held and touched her. Wasn't that normal? So what was Yukio talking about?
Yukio raised an eyebrow as if he could be wrong. "It couldn't have been your friends Sai-san or Arai-san that broke your stronghold. He has it. And he took it from you when he kissed you. That's why I say he's a boy. I don't know what you did to him. He's forgiven but he hasn't forgotten."
"Take me home."
She had had enough. She didn't want to hear anything more. Nothing more. Tezuka promised her that he was no longer mad at her. He promised to forgive her. The fact that she was weak wasn't his fault and how dare her brother try to blame him for the way she was feeling.
"Sumi-"
She hit her hand on the table, rattling the cups and cracking the veneer. "Take me home."
Those closest to them looked around. They too grew concerned when they saw Fuji crying and they began to speculate. Yukio cleared his throat and stood up to clean her up. He picked up a napkin to clean the tears. She smacked his hand away. His heart sank. He didn't thing she was this defenceless. He surrendered to her pleads. She got up and walked ahead of him. Leaving Yukio to stare down at the schoolmates who surrounded the boy in question.
To Yukio's pleasure, Tezuka caught his gaze. Must have heard Fuji hit the table… no, he must have felt her energy. Yukio noticed that Tezuka tried to look away but it was already too late. Yukio trapped him in his energy, far greater and more astute. That was the difference between them. Yukio left, but not before leaving Tezuka a short and sharp warning. He was not going to tolerate anyone disrupting his sister's flow. When Yukio was satisfied that Tezuka got his message he broke the hold on their gaze and went to caught up with Fuji.
"You're wrong." She murmured to herself. Why would Tezuka, who only calms her spirit deliberately take her strength? It didn't make any sense. He didn't take anything.
She would not believe her brother. She wouldn't. He didn't know Tezuka at all, and to think that she felt a little happy that Yukio would be the first to see him. She didn't want to believe Tezuka would do such a thing. And even if he could, how? Sure, since the game she felt horrid. Unable to control the overwhelmed energy within her but that's not Tezuka's fault. That was Yumi's fault… partly Yumi's fault as Fuji agreed to open her eyes.
"You're gunna miss your chance to say good bye." Yukio caught up to her.
She turned to him suddenly. "Didn't you stop to think that what you were going to say would really hurt me? And you're never wrong are you? If I was to go in front of him, do… do you really think he'd kiss me in front of all those people? He, he wouldn't even kiss me at school near the changing rooms. He'd never have done it in front of his friends or family, so what was the point of hurting me? You're my brother, you're not suppose to make me cry."
She was angry but she needed a shoulder to cry on. He allowed her that much and brought his arm out to hold her.
He wanted to correct her, he really did… even he could see that she was above and beyond her limit. Did she even realise that what she said just now was the first time she spoke through an unbalanced spirit? Even when she attacked Yumi all those years back, she never fumed the way she did now. "Sorry Sumiko, I was being selfish. Forgive me." He waited. "Have you told him you love him?"
"The reason why he's going to Germany is because Arai said something to him. I… I understand him. He's not the kind of person who can handle such words, so I haven't told him. But that doesn't mean he doesn't know. I know he knows."
Yukio didn't quite 'get' it. Isn't it an important part of loving someone to tell them you love them? It affirmed his dislike for Tezuka, for his immature and a bratty behaviour, but if he is the guy his sister liked… Yukio would have to tolerate him. He decided he was right to come to the airport. Just like Fuji could feel and unwanted energy on Tezuka's hand, Yukio could feel a great change in his sister. He said nothing more on the matter took her home.
888
Yukio sulked all the way home because Fuji sat in the back seat. He apologised thought out the journey but all Fuji did was hum. She couldn't be bothered to talk to him. Not only did Sai and Arai and Ryuzaki-sensei shatter her world but now her own brother. And every time she thought about it the more his words began to ring true, or at least she thought they did. If Arai wasn't with Tezuka, if Sai didn't panic she would be fine right now because she would have been with Tezuka. I'm so tired. She dropped down on the seats and covered over her eyes. They puffy and red with all the crying she had done. Argh! Too much in one day! She was ready to crawl under her covers and stay there.
Yukio pulled up in the family garage and unlocked the doors. Fuji was going to thank him. What was there to be thankful for? She let herself out and staggered back against the car. She raised her hand to rub her forehead. What was it? The pills? Yukio came round to help her. He reached one hand forward. She took it and he lead her into the house.
He unlocked the door and heard someone raise up from the living room and turned to greet their mother even before she made it to the door.
"Yukio? Is that you? Is Sumiko with you? Is everything all right?" She came out and nearly bumped into her son. Yukio held his mother's shoulders and smiled at her, to reassure that he pretty much had something under control, though he didn't help his sister as much as he wanted.
He hurried Fuji upstairs and went with his mother into the living room. Fuji turned back and watched their shadows disappearing under the door frame. She listened to their concerned voices. They spoke about a phone call they got this morning. That she was suspended for four days. They didn't say anything beyond that, if they did she didn't hear. She carried on up the stairs towards her room. She pushed the door open and kept the edge of the door in her hands. As she breathed out, some energy went with it and she slammed it shut and fell against it.
Her mind was filled with her brother's words. Something dropped in the room, distracting her. Fuji looked up and saw that one of her cactus fell off the windowsill. The vibration must have done it. She went over and picked it up and placed it beside the withered rose. She should really throw that away. And those cards…
"I'm not as sharp as you, am I?" She lightly pressed the tips of her finger over one of the nettles. "I really didn't think she would go after him. I wish I knew what she said to him." She adjusted her cacti Made sure it was in the light, not to close to the rose. Not to close to the cards. She picked it up and moved it way from them.
"It's… it's not his fault I don't feel myself…" She rubbed her forehead and went over to her bed. She undone her tie and draw off her cardigan and fell over her covers. She smothered her cheek into her pillow. Her hand knocked the side of the bed. The pill was strong. She didn't feel a thing. She looked at her left hand. Like a boxer's glove. Bulky and obvious. She tried to move her little finger. Could she feel it to move it? She tried. She saw it move but couldn't feel it. She rested it down on the covers and relaxed her body. Shame she couldn't relax her eyes or her racing thoughts, and began talking to herself in a whisper.
"I should have gone down and spoken to you… What would you have said to me, Tezuka? I wonder what you would have done when you saw my hand? You would have asked me what I'd done… tell me I'm careless, right?" She rolled over onto her side. "I guess this time you were right… I want to tell you how annoyingly right you are… Are you happy that I am careless… that I'm not prefect…" She welled up again. "Why do you make it so hard for me, Tezuka?" She covered over her eyes with her right arm and stayed like that. "… If I told you about Sai-kun, what would you say? It's not the same as that bite mark… You'd tell me I'm careless… too careless for you…" She screwed up her lips, trying to hold back the next set of words from sailing pass her lips, but she pushed it out because it was too much to keep it inside any longer.
"I hate that part of you Tezuka… I hate it."
…tbc…
A/N2: Huh… way too long. I'll do better next time. Couldn't squeeze the 'nice surprise' in this… rather unexpectedly, depressing chapter so I'll add it in 65
A&E: Accidents and Emergencies, part of any hospital.
Chapter 65: Chise pops up… again-again.
Oh my dayz, thank you for your patience.
