A/N: I'm so flattered by all this support my story's getting! Didn't dare hope for as much attention as you guys have given me, since the season is long over, so thank you so much!
Delphine took a moment to stare at her beautiful daughter. For just a moment, she ignored the vile thing sharing her bed and payed attention to only her. Borquita was always her favorite. She made all the wrong choices, but she was a beautiful girl and she had a good heart. Delphine never understood how she had gotten hold of such a feature. Delphine knew deep down that her soul was not pure in the same way. But she could not care, because she had cleaning to do.
She started with the vile thing's throat.
Blood sprang from the deep tear in his flesh, tainted her already soaked hands with more filth and spattered on her dress. It was a fine painting of dark blood; within seconds, she was a walking piece of cleansing art.
The vile thing's eyes shot open and he started flinging his arms about in agonized panic as unarticulated throaty noises came out of his mouth. Borquita woke up screaming, as if she had seen the happenings in her dream, before realizing it was real. She pulled the blood-spattered blanket up to cover her naked body from the intruder, eyes seeing nothing in the dark. They hadn't gotten time to get used to it yet. Funny, Delphine thought, since she liked black so much.
Only now did her eyes fall upon the brutal scene before her.
"Ray! Ray!" Her shrill voice choked in a sob. His throaty noises died out as the blood in him became too sparse to circulate. Delphine had always enjoyed this moment, this magnificent second, in which the body gives up. It said a lot about a man, when this moment enrolled. These filthy ones always put up a good fight. Even as the blood circulated out, there was a moment where his eyes sought the space above him, looking for something prettier than the dark ceiling to gaze at in his last seconds. Borquita almost jumped into his view and the faintest hint of a smile curled at his lips before the haze of death came over his eyes.
Borquita let out a wrenched cry. She scanned the room frantically, too agitated to notice her mother, until she stepped over to examine her kill. "Mother! Mother, what have you done! You killed him! How did you get in here?!"
"You forget I used to work at the premises, child. Now come on. You've been with these people far long enough."
"Mother you are insane! I loved him. Ray…" She touched his face with a shaking hand. His blood colored her pretty, white fingers.
"Don't do that now, you'll get yourself dirty. Quickly, girl, gather your things before they find us!"
Borquita did as she was told. She often fought Delphine on direct orders, but tonight she seemed to have lost her will to fight. She sobbed while packing and continuously looked at the body in the bed. Delphine had to help her pack to get them moving, before Laveau found out what had struck on her territory. She might soon notice the stench of her own kind of blood dripping from the man just outside.
O0O
Fiona spent the morning looking at her daughter, as she moved around the house, preparing for the day. In a weak moment last night, she had spilled the secret of her latest torment: The fertility testing. Often, when she told Fiona about her kids as school, Fiona noticed how the longing shone out of her and watching her this morning, Fiona hoped it would work. Cordelia walked around with her head bowed, as if a cloud of thunder hung over her head. Fiona hoped that if just some parts of her body regained function, she would finally break out of her shell.
Fiona noticed something else too. It happened when they crossed the subject of Misty. She tried pushing for information again, and Cordelia would usually speak of Misty with smiles, but not today.
"You're still mad at her for leaving, aren't you? Is it because of what I said?"
Cordelia shook her head. "No, you just reminded me. But I don't want to dig up old issues."
"Just tell me where she lives and I'll dig it up for you."
For that comment, she received a suspicious look. "Why would you do that? You never liked Misty."
"I only offered to go reprimand her for you. I don't have to like her to do that. All I need is directions." Fiona was running out of creative ways to make Cordelia tell her how to get to Misty without revealing her intentions. Cordelia couldn't know. She couldn't possibly handle it. And Fiona had hope that maybe the little savage had grown into a less obnoxious woman, who knew how to keep a secret.
"I have no intentions of sending you off to her, just so you can pick on her too", Cordelia said, as she cleaned the remainder of her breakfast off her plate. "Besides, like I said, it's old wounds. No need to restart the friendship by digging that up."
"You two don't need to restart anything, I imagine." Cordelia flinched at those words and then she looked away. It frustrated Fiona so, always seeing her bowing out this way. "Where's your sense of self-preservation, child? Don't let her step on you."
"Just like you are?" She spat.
"Did I not just offer to help?"
Cordelia didn't answer, but appeared to be in the middle of a choice. Then she sighed, barely audible, and went for a small box in one of the drawers. She popped a little pill out and swallowed it with water. Fiona loathed the sight. It hurt her in a way she didn't know how to express.
"Look at you", she said instead. "Look at where this attitude has left you. You pop pills just to get by."
Her daughter spun around on her heels, suddenly furious.
"And you used to sniff coke and drink to get by, how is that better? Or do you still? I'm curious, mother, why is it that you've repeatedly sabotaged your own body, but you are still here, while Myrtle's dead?"
"Myrtle was seven years older than me. She was first in line. But don't worry, Papa Legba will get me too."
"I'm not worried", she said, but her voice wavered this time. Fiona wanted to throw back, but held her tongue. She was starting to realize that the father of death was not that far down the line for her either. Unless she got hold of Misty fast.
"Do you think I don't miss my sister?"
"I'm honestly torn", Cordelia replied in a stiff voice and crossed her arms.
"Don't be. I loved my sister in my own way. I loved how good she was with you. I hated her for it too."
"Why would you hate her for being good with me?" Her voice was an incredulous whisper. "What kind of thing is that to say?"
"Just think about it, Cordelia." She didn't get to say more, because just then Hank decided to make his appearance. She was sure he had been standing out there, waiting for them to play nice. He always was scared of women, especially those in a mood. How could he possibly handle her daughter with her depression? It hung over her always, so dark and with such harsh claws, it frightened even Fiona herself. On days like this, she doubted anyone really knew how to handle Cordelia, Cordelia herself included, but her useless husband least of all. Once again, Fiona found herself consumed with regret that she didn't put a stop to that wedding, when she had the chance. God knew, it wasn't the first time she had cut off an unhealthy partner.
"I'm heading to work now, babe. See you later?" He thoroughly ignored Fiona's presence and went to kiss Cordelia.
"I may be late. I have to sort that thing out with Misty."
"Okay." He squeezed her arm, gave her a quiet smile and left.
Fiona waited for the closing of the door, before asking: "What made you change your mind?"
"Don't you have work to do?"
"I suppose so."
"Well, I have. I trust you can entertain yourself without raiding the liquor cabinet?" She was out of the door, before Fiona could give her an answer.
O0O
The twilight crept in from the depths of the forest, before Misty saw anything to Cordelia. She came by almost every day. And if not, she let Misty know the day before. Yet there was still no sight of her. Misty ate dinner in solitude, waiting for her, debating to go look for her in the growing dark. The Louisiana swamps were no place for a city woman like Cordelia. She might say she knew the path like the back of her hand by now, but she was known to get lost in the woods.
Misty had just about decided on going out after her, when she heard the familiar knocking on the door. She almost flew to it.
As always, Cordelia stood outside wearing a small smile. It had grown smaller these days, ever since her mother came back to town.
"I was just 'bout to go look for you."
"I'm sorry." She gave Misty an apologetic smile. "I got held up at school. I'm a slow thinker these days."
"I doubt it", Misty said, as she stepped close. Cordelia let her kiss her today, but there was the same thing in it, which had circled the air last time. Misty drank the feeling from her lips, tasting if not reluctance then hesitance. "Today's gotta be the day", She murmured into Cordelia's face.
"Excuse me?"
"Today you gotta tell me why you're mad at me."
Cordelia sighed, but stepped inside and Misty closed the door behind them. Cordelia went to the window, leaned against the frame, her eyes fixated on the floor. "I'm not sure how to say it. It's not that simple. And I think I'm just as mad at myself." She didn't say more, only kept her eyes on the floor as the silence weaved the tension thicker. Misty assumed she was gathering the courage to admit whatever it was. She had a good idea of what was coming for her.
"Tell me anyway. What'd I do?"
"You left me." It came out so sudden, as if in this second, Cordelia couldn't possibly hold it in any longer. The air changed in an instant. Misty's reward for a correct guess was the guilt snaking around in her gut. Her heart sped up, but only regret pumped through her system. She waited for Cordelia to look up.
When she did, her eyes were watered up and her expression painted with wide strokes of hurt.
"Yeah", Misty simply answered.
"How could you?" Her words came out several pitches higher this time. "Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? Why did you leave like that, no goodbye, not a single look back? Not even a visit, just gone! Like I meant nothing to you!"
"It wasn't that! I was a stupid teenager, Delia! I had just gotten my mama back! She was sick and dyin' and she told me I only had that one chance. What would you have done? I wanted to go see you, believe me I did, but once you're out, you're out for good. If I left to see you, I left my mama to die. And I had to heal her. I had to try. She actually wanted me, Delia, she was just too weak to fight for me. I wasn't gonna make the same mistake. But she died anyway. And then I came back."
Cordelia's eyes were hard like stone. The tears stuck to the corners, started crawling out, but she disregarded them as she stared at Misty, body closed off and arms crossed for own protection. "Not good enough. You don't get to throw your dying mom in my face again and then it's all okay."
"I ain't sayin' it's okay."
"Then how can you be so calm? Why was it so easy to leave me? Tell me at least that."
"You think that was easy?"
"It sure felt that way!" Cordelia yelled it out, tears running down her cheeks now. "You said that you've wanted me since puberty, but how can I believe that, when you had all those years and didn't do shit about it?"
"Because I was scared! Do you know how terrifyin' it is to love you? I was insecure, I had no idea what to do with all those feelin's. And I knew Fiona would kick me out the second I did somethin'! She told me!" Misty stopped for a moment, took a breath and gathered herself before adding, in a calmer voice: "Not that that's an excuse. I convinced myself to leave 'cause I loved you too much and it was killin' me."
"So it's my fault now?"
"No, don't! Stop turnin' this 'round on yourself, I won't have it. I made the mistake and I'm tryna explain why. You remember that night in your room, the night you took me to Madison's party?"
She didn't answer at first, as if she wasn't sure if she was done yelling or not. She looked around the room, and finally: "No. Not much of it anyway. I remember you were there and I remember having a hangover the day after. Why?"
"Cause' I remember everythin'. And I was so scared 'cause I thought about kissin' you all night and only when you were so drunk, you could barely walk, did you give me just a hint of what I hoped for."
"What did I do?" Present with all the hurt in Cordelia's voice was now a hint of curiosity. Amidst the heat of the fight, Misty suddenly felt a slight burning in her cheeks at the memory. She remembered how intense it felt back then and she poured the emotion into her gaze, when she finally spoke of it: "You just… touched my lip. With your thumb. And it did the strangest thing to me. If Fiona hadn't interrupted, I would've probably kissed you right there. But she did. And then my mama came and I escaped 'cause I didn't dare believe you felt the same. I thought I could make a new home over there, but I didn't get that my only home is with you. Always was."
Cordelia stared at her in silence for a moment. Misty fought a battle against the sudden heat in her body from the memory. Maybe it was the fight that made it feel so intense, but she didn't know what to do with it, regardless.
"But I did feel the same." Cordelia said. She looked far away in thought in that moment, as if trapped in those childhood memories she was trying to recall. Misty's insides twirled around in chaos as the guilt met a new sense of hope. Her pulse pounded in her throat. "In a way at least. I was just horrified at what people would think of me for indulging in it, so I pushed it away before I even knew what it was…" She looked like she was talking to herself above all. The anger in her eyes resolved.
"I'm sorry I ever left you", Misty said. "I really am. It's the worst thing I've ever done and I'd change it if I could."
Cordelia struggled for new words now. She caught Misty's gaze and the urgency of her unspoken words radiated from her. Then she asked: "Do you still love me?"
There was a nakedness to her stare, a vulnerability, which could make her break like glass at the wrong word. But Misty just smiled.
"Yeah. 'Course I love you. That's all I've ever been doin'. Wouldn't know how to not love you."
Cordelia fell silent then. A smile twitched at her lips for just a second. She stepped away from the window, walked to Misty without a word and closed her arms around her neck.
Misty drew her arms around Cordelia's body at once to tighten the embrace. She could hear Cordelia exhale a trembling breath of repressed tears at her ear, but she didn't dare say a word. She only waited for Cordelia to give her a sign that they were okay.
Cordelia loosened her grip then. She didn't let go, but pulled Misty into a series of little kisses, napping at her bottom lip, brushing against it, barely touching. As if testing the waters in the aftermath of the fight. The air changed again, but into something altogether new. There was a hum in it, which rallied up Misty's heartbeat like a battle drum. Only this wasn't war. This was new territory and she wasn't sure, if she was forgiven or not, but she didn't interrupt. She let Cordelia have her control, let her decide the pace. She took her hands in her own, when they reached out. The trail of kisses moved from her lips to her jaw and down her neck. It was almost impossible to take without breaking the unspoken rule of submission.
"I love you too", Cordelia muttered against her skin. "God, I love you."
Misty knew the fight was over then. Lips returned to hers and it shot a current through her. It was a starting signal, a flash of light.
Cordelia withdrew her hands and they started searching. They grasped and tugged at Misty's dress. She started pulling at it, pulling it off and Misty let her. They came together again, kisses growing deeper.
Suddenly topless, the press of Cordelia's body felt different. It made her heart beat faster yet and blew life to the embers in her stomach. She wanted more contact, she wanted to feel that fine, milky skin, she had marveled over so many times. Misty's hands crawled, found the edge of Cordelia's blouse and snuck one hand inside. So soft. Just as she had always imagined. The heavy sigh she received ushered her on and soon Cordelia's top was off too, bringing them skin-to-skin. Misty was rapidly losing her ability to go slow. This new level, it was what was missing from their connection. The last thread. The longing for this had whispered from the corners of her consciousness for so long. Cordelia's long skirt fell to the ground, a perfect circle at her feet like the foot of the statue, the plateau for the divine creature standing in its middle. Cordelia was a sacred piece of nature's finest artwork and now she touched Misty, as if she was too. Her hand moved up Misty's body, graced her hips, her stomach and spread out over her breast. Misty gasped as it did, shocked at how intense these new touches felt, and pulled harder at Cordelia, willing her closer. Willing their bodies to melt together if possible.
Cordelia let go, chuckled with a short breath at the whimper jumping out of Misty's throat and pulled her to the bed. She sat down on it and her eyes and hands slid over Misty's body. Misty inhaled a sharp breath as lips pressed to the lean stretch of her stomach. Looking down at Cordelia's pale, perfectly smooth body, now only covered in lace underwear, Misty abruptly became self-conscious. As if she only now realized just what was happening. In the middle of her flush arousal, she suddenly became so nervous she had to laugh at herself.
Cordelia looked up at the sound, creasing her forehead.
"You know…" Misty said, as she crawled onto Cordelia's lap. "I've never actually done this before."
"I'll guide you." Her low voice did strange things to the embers in her stomach.
Arms closed around her, making a home of the embrace. Fingers traveled up her spine and Misty's skin tingled where the fingers touched.
Misty suddenly felt like she was back in that room with a racing heartbeat and a flood of emotions, she didn't understand. Only she understood better now. And Cordelia's touch wasn't a drunken tease. It was only the same kind of intoxicating haze, which lingered around them.
"You're makin' me feel like that scared teenager again."
"Tell me about it." Cordelia took Misty's hand and placed in on her chest. Beneath her skin, Misty felt the rapid thumping of a frantic heart.
She leaned down and caught Cordelia's mouth. Her hand moved, found a bra strap and coaxed it down. The haze was working its way into Misty's body, her very core and as they settled in to deeper kisses, new touches, Cordelia's smiles and hands and soft moans let Misty know that what she did was okay. And when Misty had an urge to roll her hips this time, she did. The friction of skin made the other woman emit a ragged moan, flaring up the ache of the embers. Muscles started to tighten up and Misty needed more. The air heated up in the small space between then. Breaths grew labored. Misty started to move with abandon, shut her mind off and listened for the sounds of Cordelia's body instead.
They turned and now Misty felt herself being pushed down on the bed. Cordelia freed them of the last barriers as Misty stared in wonder. The teenager inside her begged for the sight. This was finally happening. As Cordelia came down to her, every shape of their bodies free and connecting, Misty was no longer scared. She trailed every curve of the body above her, licked the moans from her lover's lips. Cordelia continued to stake her claim; trailing hot kisses down Misty already damp skin. Her pulse raced under the touch, her skin prickled with electricity. Lips below her ear, sucking on her collarbone, her breast and Misty's whole body seemed to curl up as Cordelia hit that sweet spot. She whimpered into the damp air and tried to keep still, tried to let Cordelia have her way, but now fingers were gracing her inner thigh and it was just all too much.
"Please Delia", she begged, without knowing exactly what she was asking for. She only knew she wanted to feel as consumed with every fiber of her being as her mind was in that moment.
Cordelia understood. Lips returned to hers and the fingers moved up.
Misty's next breath caught in her throat. Her hands fisted into whatever she could latch onto and her whole body tightened up.
When she opened her eyes again, she found Cordelia's. Reading them, Misty recognized that this last string, they missed in their connection, would seal it for good. Question and answer exchanged in the most honest way they knew how to communicate. Then Cordelia kissed her again and Misty felt like a bow being drawn, stretched until it couldn't possibly anymore. She felt like she was being pushed towards an edge of unknown, and she let it happen, trusting Cordelia's body to be the anchor to her sanity. Her heart was racing, the embers flared, her muscles ready to jump. Cordelia was relentless and Misty found herself gasping desperate, wordless prayers. Her lover teased her to the very edge, to a point where Misty felt barely conscious, barely attached to her own body and at the same time hopelessly chained to it in this all-consuming sensation, she had no name for.
And then, with a kiss on her neck to send her off, Cordelia pushed her over.
O0O
Cordelia watched Misty's sleeping face, wondering just how the determination to allow herself to be mad at her had brought them here. Perhaps it was that Misty didn't find excuses. Her gentle heart was large enough to swallow every shade of Cordelia's darkness and it was pure enough to keep from being damaged by it. She was willing to absorb every one of Cordelia's horrible emotions. She was even willing to let Cordelia be in control, something she had never been before. With Hank, whether it was intimacy or the everyday life, she was always on the receiving end, simply because Hank was just as afraid of losing his grip as she was. She had made peace with that, but this was different. Misty, despite all her forwardness and the overpowering strength of her soul, had given it up to let Cordelia lead. The canvas was hers to paint on, suddenly so much smoother and so much softer. And what she created, what they created, was divine, something spawned from Cordelia's first touch and finished to the music of Misty's cries. Cordelia smiled to herself at the memories now, her body sore in all the good ways.
She looked at Misty's face and knew that no matter what name their relationship had after this night, she could never give it up. No matter where it took her.
Misty moved, called to consciousness by Cordelia's adoring thoughts. Cordelia had her arm around her waist underneath the blanket and she felt the motion as if it was her own body. In some way it was. Every part of Misty, inside and out was Cordelia's too now and she hers. They had made that choice last night.
Eyes found hers.
"Good morning, beautiful", Cordelia said to her, keeping her voice low, as if afraid too much noise would disturb the peace of this perfect morning. "How are you feeling?"
"Like a thirsty flower on a rainy day", Misty answered and flashed her one of her widest grins. "You?"
Cordelia chuckled. "Something like that."
Misty scooted closer and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. They were still naked and entangled in each other, but the intimacy of it stayed innocent. The covers fell down a little, as Misty's fingers started making exploring trails up Cordelia's arms, over her chest and rounding on her stomach, keeping a light touch that wasn't meant to entice.
It gave Cordelia time to study her back in the clear light of day. Cordelia knew she had to leave soon, but right now, no force on earth could tear her away from this sight. Misty's hair was impossibly messier and her skin was still sticky around her neck. Her body was lean with muscles. She wasn't as skinny as when she was a kid, but the bones of her hips were sharp and her collarbone stood out as she lay there. Yet the same strength remained in every curve of her being and it never wavered. Cordelia smiled as she remembered the first sign of fright she had found in Misty's eyes the night before. She had never seen Misty scared this way before. The momentary terror she had experienced at various points throughout their childhood was different. Cordelia could never think of a concept that scared Misty, just as everything scared her. Until now. What a privilege it was to know, that loving her, making love to her, was the only thing that had ever frightened the fearless wild child.
And she had gotten over the latter quickly enough.
Cordelia asked her: "Did you ever consider finding someone, other than me?"
"No." Misty said it with an absolute lack of hesitation. It was touching in a way Cordelia couldn't begin to describe to herself, but at the same time it made her sad.
"But Misty, what if you had never found me again? You would have missed out on so much."
Misty smiled in a way that made her seem suddenly older. Her hand stopped its trail and spread out flat over Cordelia's chest as if to cradle her heart. "You know, I didn't grow up thinkin' I was worth a damn to people", Misty said. "I grew up thinkin' I was worth somethin' to you."
"You were. You are. You're worth everything to me."
