Then

Rebecca had never been kissed like that.

Not ever.

Nevermind the awkwardness or the angle or the hint of morning breath, she was being kissed, fully and wonderfully and not to mention quite eagerly.

She'd been completely caught off guard by the sudden return of Sid. Confused when she'd answered the door and saw him there, his face a look of determination. She'd barely gotten her question out before he launched himself forward and pressed his mouth to hers. Then a second later his arm curled around her waist and pulled her in tight. At first, they struggled to find any sort of rhythm, she moved left, when he moved right. Her lips opened in surprise were met with his tongue poking oddly at her teeth. But then, as if their bodies knew more than their minds did, the movements became synced and he was kissing her and she was kissing him back and it was like nothing she'd ever felt before.

And in that moment that was all that mattered.

His mouth teased hers. He nipped at her lower lip, pulling it gently between his teeth, then releasing it playfully before delving his tongue back into her mouth. Where he was sure, she was tentative. Her experience had been limited. Embarrassing to admit, she could count the number of guys she'd kissed on one hand.

But Sid didn't seem to mind. His arm was a vice around her waist and it felt odd to be pressed so tightly up against someone so...solid. Her arms hung uselessly at her side as she just tried to keep up with his mouth. It was clear he was more talented than she, but by the ferocity of his kisses, he didn't seem to mind her amateur effort.

After what seemed like forever, her brain caught up with her body and she tentatively wrapped her arms around his shoulders and angled her chin up, giving her mouth more fully to him.

Sid took the movements as encouragement and before she could even register what was happening, his free hand palmed her bottom and hauled her up and off her feet. Rebecca gave an "oof" that was swallowed up by Sid's mouth and her legs instinctively cradled around his hips. With ease he held her and in a matter of seconds they were moving and with his mouth reluctantly leaving hers he placed her on the couch and blanketed her body with his. Before she could even take a breath, his mouth was back on hers. His hands moved quickly up and down her sides and then under her shirt. He kissed her deeply, his palm covering her breast as his hips pressed against hers.

And she could feel it. All of him. And Rebecca had a feeling she was in over her head.

In so many ways.

Everything he was doing felt amazing. Perfect. But it was fast for her.

And so when she felt his hand move across her hip and palm the aching center between her legs, she knew that it was becoming too much.

Her hands pushed lightly at his shoulders and he immediately stopped his movements. He lifted his head and looked at her. His lips were impossibly huge and his hair mussed. She took in the bright pink spots on his cheeks and the near blackness of his eyes.

She didn't know what to say.

He seemed to know anyway. Silently, he peeled himself off her and leaned back against her couch, his chest heaving as he regulated his breathing.

"Sor-" Rebecca started to say, but she didn't get a chance to finish.

"Don't apologize," his voice was strangely deep. A timber she wasn't familiar with. Sid extended his hand and pulled her up next to him.

And before she could speak again, his hand cradled her jaw and he pulled her mouth to his. Only this kiss wasn't frantic or hurried. It was soft and slow. Tender. And it only lasted for a second. He pulled away, but his face stayed close, his eyes intent on hers.

"I wanted to kiss you for a long time." A big grin formed on his face and Rebecca could see all the way back to his molars.

Rebecca couldn't help but smile back, slow at first, then broad and happy.

Then disappointment filled his eyes, "I need to go."

"Ok," Rebecca said.

They stood and suddenly it was awkward. Neither sure what to do next.

"So, uh, I'll see you Monday?" Sid asked.

Rebecca nodded again, words not quite there.

Sid lingered in the doorway, then smiled. "Bye Becs." He leaned forward and brushed his lips gently across her flaming cheek.

And before she could put a coherent thought together, he was gone.

But everything about him, about what had just happened, lingered.

It lingered all through the weekend as Rebecca played and replayed those few minutes over and over in her head. The whole idea of it all was preposterous. But she didn't go there. Not yet. Not when all she could think of was the taste of his tongue in her mouth and the feel of hands on her body. It distracted her all weekend. While the distraction was welcomed, it was much easier to have her head in the clouds, than to deal with the issue of money, reality rained on her when she woke Monday morning. She wasn't due into the Igloo until the early afternoon. So despite the warm and gooey aftershocks she was still experiencing, she needed to figure out her life, quickly.

Rebecca spent the morning on campus, putting in applications anywhere she could find. The cafeteria, the bookstore, the library, even the custodial department. She put up fliers for tutoring in every subject she could think of. She'd even had a shady conversation with a kid in the student union about the lucrative business of selling research papers and other "homework helpers." She'd turned it down, she couldn't exactly use illegal funds to pay for an education based on ethics (despite what people said about lawyers). By lunchtime she was exhausted, but had already had a call from the page supervisor at the library who was looking for extra help during the evening shift at the law library.

She had made peace with the decision. The internship at the Igloo was interesting and exciting. She found herself enjoying that atmosphere so much more than she had expected. But this was her dream. And she had to do whatever it took to make it a reality. However, it didn't help with the nerves that took hold as she approached the arena for her afternoon shift.

The apprehension slammed into her like a force she wasn't expecting. Suddenly everything seemed scary and overwhelming. It was as if the shock of that early morning tryst only a few days earlier had finally worn off.

And she was terrified.

She was terrified of leaving. She was terrified of staying. Leaving meant the real possibility that whatever had happened between them would be over. Her schedule, his schedule. It was impossible. Not to mention he was...who he was. Maybe the appeal of her to him was the proximity. That he could justify feelings and acting on those feelings because she was around and...accessible. But staying meant valuable time spent working for free, when she needed to be saving for Yale. Staying meant putting him before her goals and she couldn't do that. In a few months she would be leaving Pittsburgh, whether she liked it or not. She could find work to fill her time now, but come graduation, she needed to get a real job. She would move back to Delaware. Live at home and get a good paying job. If she didn't have many expenses. Her car was a beater but fully paid off. Her scholarships paid for school, so no loans. She could do this. In two years, she could have at least the first year paid for. But it meant starting now.

But she couldn't ignore that little voice. The voice that told her, stay.

Stay.

But Rebecca, although still young, never went with the voice that had a direct line to her heart. She went with the one connected to her brain. The rational one. The practical one. The safe one.

And so when she arrived at the Igloo early in the afternoon, she made a beeline for Claude's office. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it now.

She was so focused on the task at hand that she only slightly noticed the change in atmosphere at the arena. People were bustling, chatter everywhere. There was life in the Igloo that she hadn't seen in months. All the unspoken tension that drifted through the halls like a fog from a Stephen King novel seemed to evaporate. And when she walked into Claude's office, the only word she could use to describe the setting was...pandemonium.

Papers were everywhere, both phone lines were ringing, RITA was her usual noisy self cranking out tickets. Claude was literally running in circles, from one desk to the other while speaking french furiously into his Blackberry. Rebecca just stood in the doorway taking it in and not quite sure what to do.

Placing his hand over the speaker of the cell, he quickly instructed her to answer the phone.

Immediately Rebecca sprang into action. All she could really do was take messages, since she wasn't quite sure what was happening.

Finally about 15 minutes later, Claude ended his phone call and attempted to bring some organization back into the office.

"Sorry Rebecca. It's been a hectic morning," Claude said quickly. His face was red, a sheen of sweat coating his brow, his barely there hair standing up on ends, while his clothes looked rumpled, his tie undone.

Over the next few minutes he filled her in. In the span of 48 hours a coach and his staff had been fired and a new regime brought in. With that came last minute bookings and agendas. Along with travel plans, the secretary was also responsible for housing of players and staff. Dan Bylsma, the minor league head coach had been brought up for the job. Claude was working on setting up a place for Dan and his family to stay, at the same time work with the terminated staff on their travel plans. Needless to say it was a crazy time. But everyone was excited. A good change was coming and everyone was excited. Claude included.

And so that's what made it excruciating for Rebecca to tell Claude what she did. Not two seconds after he briefed her of the current situation did she blurt out, "I'm sorry, I have to quit. I'm sorry."

At first it seemed like he didn't quite hear her corrected. In all fairness she had said it fast and rather incoherently. So she repeated herself, slowly and clearly and now tearfully.

Claude seemed gobsmacked by her news and Rebecca found herself beginning a rather epic ramble. She told him about getting into Yale and the financial aid issue. She told him about her plan and putting Yale on hold. She explained how she needed to start her law school fund as soon as possible. She apologized for the bad timing and tried to reassure her new-found mentor that she had learned a lot and was very grateful for the experience.

Claude was silent while she spoke and stayed quiet even after she finally stopped speaking. He scratched at the side of his head almost comically, a deep frown set on his face.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He said finally. "You've been such a huge help to us this year, but I understand. Would you be able to stay through the week, I can give you a stipend from the petty cash account for your time? I could really use the extra set of hands."

Rebecca nodded and it was decided. She'd stay until Friday. It would take at least a week to find something new anyway and she couldn't turn down the offer of money.

Her three hour shift flew by and suddenly it was 4:30. She had class at six. As she gathered her things, Claude suddenly pulled her in for a hug. She wasn't expecting it, but it wasn't completely unwelcomed. She felt so off kilter these few days that she appreciated the fatherly embrace. "You're destined for great things." Claude said thickly as he let her go.

Walking out of the office and making her way towards the exit, Rebecca's head was in the clouds. She felt terrible leaving Claude and she really would miss him. It was nice to feel like her presence had made an impact. She thought about what he said, if he was right, could she pull this off was Yale really going to happ-

Suddenly Rebecca's thoughts were instantly forgotten as a hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her from the utility hallway that led to the exit and into an alcove created by stacks of pallets and moving equipment.

At first, Rebecca was frightened, but then as her back was pressed up against the pallets a body moved in close. All personal space thrown out the window as a broad chest with the Penguins logo came flush to hers. And when she looked up she had only a split second to recognize that it was Sid, before his mouth came crashing down.

And it was like before. Only this time it didn't take nearly as long for her to match his rhythm. She didn't think about the stress of finding a job or the sadness of saying goodbye to Claude or the uncertainty of what exactly this was. All she cared about was his mouth on hers and his tongue delving into her mouth eager to taste her.

His hands were firm at her waist, his thumbs pressing into her hips. She wore a dress so there were no opportunities for his fingers to find skin, unless he put his hand up her dress, which Rebecca wouldn't necessarily object to in the current state of arousal he'd put her in. She knew it was too much to be feeling this way. Everything about him was out of her league, all the way down to the breathlessness she felt when he was so close. She'd never reacted like this to another person in her life. Sure it didn't hurt that he was gorgeous and built like greek god, but it was more than that. When he was near her, no matter whether he was kissing her or just explaining what icing was, she felt...alive.

And right now she felt more alive than ever. His mouth moved sensuously against hers and her hands grasped at the fabric of his shirt pulling him in closer. She could feel the hard length of him through his gym shorts and while the other day it overwhelmed her, now it excited her. It aroused her. She wanted it, she wanted him.

After what seemed like forever they broke the kiss. Sid buried his head in her neck pressing hot, wet kisses along the sensitive skin. No longer shy, Rebecca laced her fingers into his thick hair and pushed him in closer, letting out a breathy moan. She could feel his smile against her skin.

And then he pulled away and looked at her.

"Hi." He said, his smile brilliant and warm.

"Hi." She said breathlessly, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath.

The uncertainty about what this was, stayed on hold. They just looked at each other for a minute. Their eyes locked as each tried to regulate their breathing and bask in the feeling the other gave them.

"I hope I didn't scare you." He said, his grin still fixed on his face.

Rebecca didn't even blink. She just shook her head, her eyes still locked on his.

"No, not at all." She replied with a smile.

His grin became mischievous. "Oh no? You're used to be accosted and ravished in dark corners?"

Rebecca's face flamed instantly. Did he think she'd done this sort of thing before? That she went around making out with anyone who was willing? That she was easy?

He seemed to read her mind, because he quickly spoke again. "Becs, I was kidding."

Rebecca felt foolish for taking him so seriously, but before she could respond, he continued.

"How's it going? It's been madness the past few days, but I'm glad I got to see you."

How could he act so normal right now? Rebecca was still recovering from the kiss and the fact that they were sequestered in this tiny space, and Sid seemed so...unaffected. It often seemed like little phased him. Or if it did he was a natural at keeping a straight face. Even when he was upset about things, he seemed to bounce back so quickly. He was resilient. It was one of the many things she liked about him.

"So what do you think?"

Rebecca had been so lost in her thoughts, that she'd forgotten that Sid was still speaking.

"Huh?" She said, looking up at him blankly, her brain just now coming back to earth.

"Tonight, are you free? The double feature at the Melwood? Were you listening?" He didn't seem mad, just curious.

"Oh right, yes, um what time? I have class until 8:30." She sputtered, her face even hotter now.

"I can pick you up at 9:15, it starts at 10. Is that ok?"

Rebecca nodded, a thrill rushing through her.

A date.

They were going on a date.

And before her overactive brain could start analyzing what this all meant, Sid's mouth settled on hers and thinking was over.

For now.


Now

His mouth moves over mine, just as it has for the past 5 years. But kissing Sidney Crosby is something I will never get tired of. He kisses me like he knows me. Knows everything about me. And right now he knows that kissing me lightly, sweetly and softly is what I want, what I need. Its slow and heady. Lips dragging, tongues swirling, everything is slow and steady. Gentle and stable. A kiss between two people that want one another is so many different ways. And it excites me and scares me all at once.

Before the kiss can escalate, Sid pulls back. My eyes are still closed and my mouth instinctively moves towards his and it's not until I hear his light chuckle that I realize what is going on.

I open my eyes and look sheepishly at him.

Sid studies me, his lips full and wet, his cheeks pink.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asks, his voice quiet.

"It is tomorrow," I say, referencing the late hour.

He smiles broadly. "Today then."

I nod.

He pulls me in and kisses me once more.

"Get some sleep. I'll see you today."

"Ok, see you today."

I'm asleep in an instant and my dreams are filled with Sid. When I wake in the morning there is a text from a number my phone doesn't recognize as a contact and I realize it's Sid.

He still has my number. He hadn't deleted it, is all I can think.

I had a great time last night. It's today now. What are you doing?

I smile and go to reply, but before I do, I press a few buttons and add him to my contacts.


It's Monday morning and although my wrist is killing me, I can't wipe the smile off my face. Sunday's game was brutal. We were shut out and a hack on my wrist has left me in a pretty good amount of pain. But when I look back on that game, I will only think of it fondly.

In fact, I think of the whole weekend fondly. Playing back to back games is usually tough, but this weekend it wasn't so bad. Late Saturday morning I met Rebecca for lunch before my game day nap and then she surprised me by agreeing to come to the game that night. We won in overtime, Nealer shot a bullet with an assist from me and Geno, but the best part was coming out of the locker room and finding her waiting for me after the game. It had been a few years since I'd seen her after a game and she looked like a fish out of water, but chatted amiably with the other players families with whom she knew well. I caught her eye on my way out and gave a small nod in her direction. She was in mid conversation, but her eyes told me she understood. Other than Kuni, no one knows what's going on, so I made my way to my car and waited 15 minutes for her to come out and climb into the passenger side.

"Did anyone see you?" I asked.

She pulled at the seat belt, "No I don't think so," she said softly. "I went to my car first and then doubled back to avoid the exit. I'm pretty sure I was undetected." Staff parks a level above the players, so I knew the way she was referring to and felt confident no one had seen, besides, I'm always one of the last to leave. I don't want to hide this. To make it seem like this is some dirty little secret, but I'm not ready for this to be out and I know she isn't either. Not to mention the issues that come with "interoffice" dating so to speak.

"My very own Jane Bond," I joke as I lean across the console and brush my lips against hers.

I feel her smile as she returns the kiss.

We go back to my place, after I pick up some takeout from one of my favorite spots.

She's never seen this house and I'm a little nervous showing her around. Mostly because I hope that it can be her house too someday. I give her a brief tour, a little self conscious, but she seems genuinely interested in all the work that's been done.

She unpacks the takeout, as I run upstairs to change out of my suit. My whole body is buzzing with adrenaline. It was a great game and knowing she was in the crowd, made me play even better. I opened up the scoring with the first goal and then the play for James' game winner was a thing of beauty. I wonder if I can get her to come to all the games the rest of the season. I change into a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans, then head back into the kitchen.

I,m greeted by a view of Rebecca's bottom as she leans over the kitchen table setting up the take out. She's lit a candle and transferred the pasta onto real plates. Usually I just eat out of the container, but watching her make the meal nice, watching this domestic side of her, it sends a feeling through me that I can't quite define.

It stays with me all through dinner as we sit at the table chatting about a variety of topics. Gone are the nerves of last night's date. Conversation is light and interesting and the fear of this working or not working is gone for now. It's as if we both know this is right. And when it's right, its easy and simple. And right now all I want is to spend every night like this. Sitting across from the woman that I love, falling more and more in love with how she talks, how she sees the world, how she sees me. And being everything for her. Being enough to make her happy. Make her stay.

But I can't tell her that now. I don't want to scare her. Overwhelm her. I have to make sure that the choices she makes are her own, because if they aren't, then nothing has changed in the past five years.

After dinner we head for the couch, it's late but we both want to pick up where we left off with House of Cards. We make it through two episodes before we both succumb to sleep. Sometime during the night, I wake and carry her up the stairs to the bedroom. I should put her in the guest room, but I'm not that honorable. Instead I lay her down on my bed. She stirs a bit, her eyes half opened as she tries to make sense of what's going on. She's wearing a loose fitting dress, so I know she will sleep comfortably. I change into shorts and a t-shirt and climb in, careful to leave space between us. And for the first time in five years I spend the night, the whole night with Rebecca Cooper. And in the morning she is still there.

On Sunday, I have to stay after the game for treatment on my wrist. I took a slash in the 2nd period and the pain is incredible. She's waiting for me when I get done, the concern on her face is obvious.

"Are you ok?" She looks at me worried, her brow furrowed and her lip drawn between her teeth.

I nod. I'm tired and a bit woozy, the pain meds are doing the job. Flower is with me. He's offered to drive me home, but I think he's figuring out what's going on when he sees Rebecca and her concern for my condition. She's too worried to even notice he's there, because once she realizes I'll be alright, she sees Flower and becomes flustered.

"Becs is going to drive me home," I say. The meds have made my voice slow and I've developed an odd drawl.

Pink spots appear on her cheeks and in my state I can't help but think how adorable it is.

Flower doesn't seem too surprised and I have to start wondering how much of a secret this all is.

She drives me home and sets me up on the couch with blankets and pillows. Even though I'm not sick, she brings me gatorade and a light dinner, along with another pain pill. I try to tell her I'm not an invalid, but she insists, she seems shaken by my injury. And I think back to her when I'd gotten the concussion and when I lost all those teeth and had the surgery on my jaw. She was only on the perimeter then. In my life, but not part of it. I think that if she loved me then, like I think she might have, what that was like for her? And I wonder if this is what she would have done. Would she have sat with me in those dark rooms? Quiet, knowing I needed the silence, but holding my hand so I wasn't alone. Would she have brought me milk shakes and helped change the hard to reach bloody cotton swabs that kept me from getting lock jaw? Is there a whole life that we missed out on because somewhere, at some point we didn't say what we needed to say?

And I need to say it. I need to say it no matter how crazy it sounds, how bad the timing is. I need to say it even though my brain is fuzzy and my body feels heavy and my eyes are struggling to stay open. Before I lose consciousness I have to say it.

"I love you."

And now it's Monday and I'm still in a good amount of pain, but I can manage it. Rebecca was gone when I woke up and I have vague memories of her taking me home. I know she brought me food and sat with me for a little bit, but I can't remember much else. I spend most of the morning getting treatment and doing some therapy on my wrist and by lunch time I go in search of her to see if she wants to grab something to eat.

I make my way down the hall and turn the corner towards her office. I reach her open doorway and knock lightly on the frame. Someone at her desk turns around, but its not Rebecca. It's a guy, a young guy. He looks like an agent is the only way I can describe him. His hair is molded into place and he has a dark suit on with a skinny tie. His eyes widen when he sees me.

"Mr. Crosby," is all he says as he stands up quickly and walks toward me, his hand outstretched.

And before I can ask him where Rebecca is, he introduces himself.

"I'm Brandon Fletcher, the new travel secretary."

***Author's Note: I know I'm a broken record on my apologies for the wait. But this chapter couldn't be forced and it took a long time for it evolve into what I wanted it to be. And I'm really happy with it, and I hope you are too. Whew, what a tough year. Disappointing end, but I'm hoping the Penguins I fell in love with come back next year, because they were hard to find this year. Looking forward to filling my Penguins sized hole with the continuation of this story and as always your feedback is greatly appreciated. And thank the heavens for the IIHF for giving us some Sid action in the off season, what a consolation prize that was! Go Canada! (when they're not playing the US :P)***