Kathryn walked quickly through the hall, not even bothering to nod at the few crew members she passed. She didn't realize she had a specific destination until she stepped into her quarters. She walked to her bedroom and started tearing at her uniform, she was done with it. She was done with the mask. Someone else could come along and put it on, could pretend to be okay, could devote their whole life to this crew, but she was spent, there wasn't anything left of her to give.
She angrily walked to her dresser and slipped a simple green long-sleeved dress over her head. Not even bothering to but on shoes, she reached for where her commbadge should be, ready to initiate transport, but she cursed as she remembered that it was currently on the floor of sickbay. Throwing her hands up in exasperation she made a stop at the replicator, picked up a tricorder and headed out the door, hoping she still had time to get there before she was found.
Chakotay paused in his frantic sprint to the turbolift when he realized he didn't know where he was going. Tuvok pulled up beside him. "Where could she have gone..." Chakotay said under his breath. "Computer, locate the biosignature of Captain Janeway."
"Good idea." 'Okay that would have been smart to do in the first place' Chakotay thought. He was letting himself go blind with worry and he needed to stay focused. Maybe he could learn from the Vulcan at this point.
"Biosignature of Captain Janeway located. Captain Janeway is in her quarters."
Without so much as a glance between them, Chakotay and Tuvok sped toward the turbolift once more.
Chakotay asked the question before he was sure if he should. "Has she ever done anything like this? I mean, I know she's made rash decisions on behalf of her ship... but this is totally... I just don't understand."
"I would not disclose this if I did not think it necessary." came Tuvoks response.
"What? What is it you haven't told me?"
"Up until now, you did not need to know, no one did. In fact, very few people do. When her father and fiance were killed, a few months had gone by and she was very depressed, often refusing to get out of bed or eat, sometimes thinking her father was there in the room with her. She hated feeling so out-of-control, so she attempted suicide."
"...What?" It was hard for him to picture her doing such a thing. His strong-willed, beautiful, stubborn Kathryn would surely have had the sense to reach out... No she wouldn't. She would have kept to herself, just as she had since entering the void.
"She felt like a burden on her family, and she felt that she would be of more use dead." Chakotay voiced.
"Yes." Was Tuvoks response.
"We have to stop her. She can't give up, she can't leave this crew." She can't leave me... They approached her quarters and the doors slid open. They looked around and discovered her nowhere in sight. Tuvok began asking the computer once again for her location as Chakotay knelt down and picked up her uniform jacket. He held it gently and brought it to Tuvok. "She must have a tricorder set with a dampening field, the computer cannot pinpoint her location." Tuvoks calm was starting to annoy Chakotay, but he asked as evenly as he could "Last time, where did she go, what did she try."
"I believe she went to an old park near her home, it was somewhere she used to spend time with her father, I do not know what she tried."
So she would have gone somewhere with meaning... but where would that be on Voyager? This ship represented confinement for her, and she couldn't have left it, and the places she would go were thousands of lightyears away so she would have had to... "I know where she is."
