Kathryn stood before the doors of the holodeck angrily barking commands at the computer. Why wasn't the damn thing faster at programming? She answered its many questions without stopping to think, her subconscious was sure where it wanted her to go. Finally the computer asked for the last specification, "Would you like to restrict access to this program?" This gave Kathryn pause. Did she want to be found? Did she want to be stopped? Yes, no, but what if the wrong people found her? What if no one found her for a day or so? What if... enough.
Wiping a hand across her face she said "Lock program level... 9." Chakotay should be the one to find her, she owed that to him, no one else would understand like he would. Oh Chakotay... she was so sorry. With that she said "Computer. Run program." and stepped into the holodeck, looking down at the small vile in her hand.
Chakotay ran full speed towards the holodeck. He had to stop her, he couldn't bare the thought of what would happen if he didn't. He was done questioning her actions and had just accepted them as what her mind thought would be best, for there was no arguing that a mind could convince a person of anything. He called for the doors to open and discovered them locked. Tuvok spoke before he could, surprising him, he'd forgotten the Vulcan was even there. "Open doors to holodeck 2 secuirty authorization Tuvok Beta Phi Alpha." "Access denied, level 9 security clearance required." Tuvok looked at Chakotay, "It seems, that you should approach her, she must have been open to that possibility if she set it at level nine instead of level ten." Chakotay swallowed and nodded, nervous.
She stoop atop the hill with the wind caressing her face, oh how she had missed this place, she had missed being free, free to explore, free to be herself, free to love... She took a deep breath and one last long look at the small gray shelter, the bathtub, the dense forest, and then closed her eyes. With the next breath in she uncorked the vile... and with the next, she brought it to her lips. Picturing his face in her mind, she took a small sip and fell to the ground.
He stepped onto the grass and knew exactly where he was, he had been right. He shook off his slight nostalgia and started to run for the hill. He remembered her standing there after about a month of being stranded, it was after the storm that had destroyed her research. She had looked so calm, so peaceful, he hated to break into her revere, but he was concerned when he saw her start to cry. He had approached her slowly from behind, he tried to make his approach audible, but when she jumped at the touch of his hand on her arm he knew she hadn't heard him. "Kathryn..." He had said quietly. She surprised him by running into his arms and sobbing into his chest.
She had been terrified by letting herself be happy, but also terrified of being sad. Without work to distract her, she was lost. So he help her and let her cry, eventually getting her back to the house and filling the tub for her. She had talked to him about how she felt once she was in the tub and he was sitting a few feet away, that night she had fallen asleep on the chair in the living room, saying she didn't want to be alone, and once deep asleep Chakotay had carried her to her bed.
He should have known she needed him this time, it was pretty much the same. No red alerts, no new species, no trade, no nebulas, and she hadn't had him to run to. Her command keeping him away. To hell with protocol.
He saw her at the top of the hill in a green civilian dress. Her hands were slightly apart from her sides as she reveled in the breeze. Her eyes were closed, and as he watched her hand began to approach her mouth. He ran. It was almost slow motion, her hand gliding up, his feet pound on the ground, breath heaving, he reached out while still a few steps away, ready to knock the vile from her hand, but as he closed the gap between them, she crumpled to the ground.
