A/N So when I said this was the final chapter, I totally (but unintentionally) lied. It's just too long and I found myself unable to cut anything out. As it usually is with my stories, it took a life of its own. I don't have much to say but thank you guys so much for the awesome reviews, and for all the favourites and follows. It means so much to me!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
Mabel groans, caught somewhere between sleep and waking. Her eyes are heavy, but she's aware of her surroundings. The warmth on her face from the sun shining through the triangle window, the soft sound of quiet movement from across the room, and a deep, oppressive ache in her body that holds her down, keeping her from trying to move.
She's still too far under though to make sense of it all, instead she's caught up in the voices that surround her. Lots of indistinct chatter, like there's a whole crowd of people in her room speaking all at once, but their voices are muffled and vague. But every once in a while something comes through clearly.
She can hear Dipper, asking her not to tease him all the time, clamming up after she asks about his day. She can hear Ford, angrily accusing her of snooping, "I thought maybe after today I could start to trust you!" She can hear that stupid unicorn, "Doing good deeds to make yourself look good isn't very good at all. It's not my fault you're a bad person!"
Drifting back into sleep, the surreal sensation of semi-awareness mixed with dreaming fades and the scenery in her mind shifts and she finds herself back in the enchanted part of the forest.
"All this time…you made me believe I was a bad person, but you're even worse than I am!" she shouts at the unicorn, furiously punching her in the face much to the shock of everyone.
Suddenly all hell breaks loose, fists and hooves flying as she and her friends fight the unicorns for the hair. Suddenly C-Beth or whatever the heck they called that nasty unicorn lunges at her, impaling her with her horn and then shoving her to the ground. She grasps the wound as a sharp, agonizing pain pulses through her body, knocking the breath out of her.
Dipper rushes to her aid, but it strikes her as odd that he's there. She doesn't remember him joining them on the unicorn quest, didn't he stay with Ford? "What are you doing here?" she gasps, shaking from the pain.
"I decided to come because I can't trust you with something as simple as getting unicorn hair," he replies coldly.
"Is it bad?" she asks, tears streaming down her face as she looks at the wound.
"Not bad enough," he replies, shoving her back to the ground, "you're the worst Mabel. I should let her finish you off after ruining my life."
"What?" she exclaims in shock.
"You make fun of me all the time, you always make me give up everything just so you can be happy. You almost gave BILL my journal, remember? I had been possessed and you were more concerned about your stupid play. I'm always there for you but where are you when I need you? Chasing boys, getting into stupid, silly nonsense… I'm sick of taking care of you, I wish I never had a twin. I finally have a chance to be happy and you're all mad because I don't have to put up with you anymore! I finally have someone who understands me, who understands what it's like to have some dumb twin hold them back!"
"But Dipper…!"
"He's kinda right, Mabel," Wendy shrugs in agreement. Grenda and Candy nod.
"Here Dipper," C-Beth says, flipping her mane, "you can have all the hair you need. It's clear to me who's worthy, I can't imagine what it's like to have to put up with a terrible person like her."
"Good job Dipper!" Ford exclaims, appearing out of nowhere as Dipper hands him the hair, "There's a reason why I trust you and not your sister. She's a bad person. She'll sell you out for anything shiny."
"That's so true," Dipper agrees, glaring at her spitefully, "she's so selfish, I bet she wishes that she closed the portal because she doesn't like that you're here, taking up my time. She can't stand to see me happy and wants me to be lonely, so she can have me to herself whenever she needs me, even if it means I'd be miserable and you'd still be trapped in that other dimension!"
"Mabel, is this true?" Ford asks, looking hurt.
"No! Of course not!"
"I was wrong to ever trust her," Dipper says, "I'm better off without her. Hey C-Beth, do the world a favour, will you?"
"Gladly," she replies, stabbing her once again with her horn.
Mabel wakes up with a gasp, and then cries out from the debilitating and sharp, shooting pain that flares through her side, stealing her breath away. Still disoriented from her deep sleep and strange dreams she's not quite aware of where she is or what's happening and she tries to get up and roll out of the way of the unicorn's horn when the ground seems to give way and suddenly she's falling.
She lands abruptly with a hard thump and is snapped fully into awareness, now on the floor next to her bed, lying on her stomach and in incredible pain. Breathless, she whimpers pathetically, clutching her injured side as she rolls onto her back and tries to make sense of everything.
I can't believe I fell out of bed! She thinks, shocked and embarrassed as tears stream down her face, Who does that?!
Waddles is at her side and licks her face, she smiles weakly, scratching his ears and gently pushing him away with her uninjured hand, "Hey Waddles," she cries softly as he looks at her as though worried, "I'm OK buddy, just fell out of bed. How embarrassing!"
She groans as she tries to push herself up, determined to get to her feet before anyone can find out but the sharp, agonizing pain in her side inhibits her ability to move and she doesn't make it very far.
"Mabel!" Dipper gasps as he enters the room, instantly by her side hovering over her holding a glass of water in his hand, "Oh man, are you OK?"
"Yeah…" she moans, her voice strained, "Just t-taking in the unique p-perspective from down here…"
"Here…" he puts the glass down on her bedside table and takes her hand, gingerly helping her sit up. She exhales sharply with a hiss, her body trembling in protest of the new position. "I noticed you were starting to wake up so I went to get you some water—you need to take this." He grabs the painkiller Ford gave him last night and she looks at it skeptically.
"What is it?"
"It's for the pain," he replies handing it to her.
She frowns and hesitantly pops it in her mouth as he hands her the water and she brings it to her lips with trembling hands.
"You seem to have a little more colour in your face now, that's good but you still look really pale, how are you feeling?"
"Stiff and sore, but…I'm OK," she replies quietly, glancing away from him as he takes the glass from her, "Could probably go for more of that stinky numbing stuff though."
"Ford says you can't have any more of it…"
Mabel frowns, "Figures." She heaves a sigh as she tries not to cry, "It's because I screwed up with Grunkle Ford, isn't it?"
"No, it's not like that!" Dipper exclaims, "He says that it won't work properly if you take more than one dose."
She looks skeptical for a moment but lets it go, "Oh, OK. Well that kinda sucks, it was nice not having to feel anything because it like, really, really hurts right now."
"Hopefully that painkiller will kick in soon," Dipper says sympathetically, reaching to help her when she starts to try and get up off the floor. At first she refuses his help, but she's still dizzy and weak so she holds out her hand and lets him help pull her up and onto her bed. "Can I get you anything?"
She smiles at him and shakes her head, "Nah, I'm good."
"You sure? You're not hungry or anything?"
"Well, yeah but…"
"What do you want? I'll go get it."
"I'm OK, Dipper," she rolls her eyes tiredly, "just give me a minute or two and I'll be right down."
"I don't know, I really think you should take it easy today. Maybe stay here and get rest while you heal up?"
"But I'm fine," she tries to stand up but the pain in her side explodes as her movement puts strain on the injury and she collapses into her pillow, her body shaking and her eyes watering as she lets out a small moan.
"Oh yeah, I totally believe you right now," Dipper scoffs, kneeling down beside her, "you got stabbed yesterday…"
"It's just a flesh wound," she says jokingly in a horrible attempt at a British accent, rolling her eyes, but her voice is thick with pain.
"…and Ford says you might've cracked a rib. Not to mention the fact you lost a lot of blood, Miss I'm-going-to-donate-all-my-blood-for-some-crazy-reason. The stuff he gave you will help you heal faster but he says the second day is the worst, and you need rest."
She sighs heavily, gingerly rolling onto her back, "OK, you're right. Honestly, I kinda feel like I got in a street fight with a gang of angry unicorns…" she chuckles weakly, "oh wait…"
Dipper hesitates, "About that…Mabel we need to talk."
"Oh?" she looks away as though distracted by something but it's obvious she's trying to avoid the subject. "About what?"
"I think you know."
"There's really not much to talk about," she replies, "me and the girls went to get the unicorn hair, they were mean and rude, push came to shove and things got a little out of hand. Next thing you know we're fighting them for it. We got the hair, the Shack is protected, we won that battle so…I guess that's it."
"No, there was more to it than that, those unicorns really got to you," he pushes, "you were so down…"
"It was nothing," she shrugs lightly, "once the adrenaline wore off and stuff I just started to feel sorry for myself, that's all. I feel better now. I mean, my whole body is in a world of ouch right at the moment, but the pity party is over."
"I'm glad but…"
"So it's all good, really. Don't worry so much," Mabel smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"You've always been a terrible liar," Dipper points out. "I haven't seen you this depressed since…well since ever. You told me she made you realize you were a bad person, which is not true by the way, but you really seemed convinced, and I think what happened yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg because lately…"
"You're reading into things," she interrupts him with a huff, "Like I said, I was feeling sorry for myself but I'm over it. Why should I let what that dumb unicorn had to say, and that stupid misunderstanding with Ford last night bother me? The unicorn was just a bully and I'll make it up to Grunkle Ford, so everything is fine. There's nothing left to talk about."
"If you say so," he sighs, shaking his head in frustration, "but if you change your mind, I'm here for you."
"I know," she reaches her hand out and rests it on his elbow, a soft but still sad smile on her face. She meant to be reassuring, but judging by the sad, concerned look in his eyes, she knows it didn't work. "But seriously, I'm OK. Just a little…you know, ow," she chuckles awkwardly, motioning to her injured side to make her point, "just need a few days, you know?"
"Promise?"
"Of course," Mabel replies with a forced grin, "I appreciate the concern broseph, but it's really not necessary. I'm OK, I swear."
Dipper looks at her with scrutiny and Mabel does her best to be convincing, putting on her most sincere smile, but it's obvious that Dipper's not convinced. He knows her better than anyone and she might be able to fool other people, but not him. She wishes he'd look away, she wishes he was still clueless about the sadness that's been creeping up on her ever since the portal opened because now that he saw it, he can't unsee it and it will take far more energy than she has to try and assure him otherwise.
Please bro-bro, don't do this, I can't deal with it right now. It's stupid, it's so stupid and I just need to deal with this one on my own. This is all on me and I'm afraid that bringing you into this will only make it worse for both of us.
Dipper backs away a step and sighs. He starts to leave and Mabel relaxes a fraction, thinking she's in the clear for now but then he stops and turns, "No. No you're not OK. I know something's bothering you, and I know it's been building for a while. Please Mabel, talk to me. I just want to…"
"Ugh, can you please just let it go?" Mabel groans, "It's no big..."
"I would but I can't. I can't stand seeing you like this!" he exclaims, sounding much harsher than he intended, "Let me help, you've been so unhappy lately, even before that dumb unicorn hurt you and your feelings and I feel so terrible because I didn't really see it before when I should have, but now I do and I just want to help, OK? Please, talk to me. What happened Mabel? What happened to make you so depressed lately?"
"Nothing, it's nothing," Mabel snaps, her chin quivering as she tries to keep her expression neutral even though it's taking all she's got not to cry.
"Fine, if you insist," Dipper sighs, raising his arms in surrender, "but this isn't like you. You used to always come to me when you had a problem or something was wrong or whatever but… is it me? Did I do something? Is that why you won't talk to me about it?"
"No, of course not!"
"Then please, don't shut me out."
"Like you shut me out?" Mabel blurts, surprising herself. She covers her mouth with both hands, eyes wide with regret.
Dipper freezes in place, and slowly he straightens his posture, backing up a step and nods, "I see."
"No, nononono…that came out wrong, I didn't mean it like that!" she reaches out for him but curls on her side when she jars her injuries and she moans pathetically as she grasps at her wound, burying her face in her pillow. She growls with frustration and rolls onto her back and looks at him, "That's not…that's not what I meant. I don't really believe that. It's just that…I don't know, things have changed and…we're still best friends and stuff but…but lately it feels like…I feel left out of the loop, you know? But I don't blame you for it, it's not your fault! I get it, I know you can't trus—"
Dipper's expression softens and he puts his hand on her shoulder gently shushing her, "Aw Mabel... I'm sorry, really I am. I know it might look like it sometimes, but I'm not trying to shut you out. I just… if it were up to me I'd tell you everything."
"I know, I know," she cries, "I don't know why I said that…"
"It's just when I do stuff with Ford, he kinda makes me swear to secrecy."
"I know," she shakes her head, "you said that before and it's fine, I understand. Whenever I ask you to keep a secret you always do, so why should I get upset that you'd do the same for Grunkle Ford? See? It's stupid."
"Not if it makes you feel this way."
"But I don't, like I already told you a million times, I was feeling sorry for myself, and I guess I still kinda am," Mabel runs her hands down her face, "You're right when you said the unicorn really got to me, but it's because she was right. I knew all along that she was right, but I just didn't want to admit it, even to myself but she forced me to see the truth and now I can't deny it anymore."
"You're not a bad person, Mabel."
Mabel looks at him and bites her lip, blinking back tears, "Do we have to talk about this now? I'm tired, I'm hurting and a little hungry and it's making me all cranky and emotional and stuff and I just… I really don't want..."
"It's OK, I shouldn't have pushed you into talking about this when it was obvious you didn't want to," Dipper sighs, "I just don't like to see you so depressed, it's not right and I feel awful for not seeing it sooner. But when you're ready, will you talk to someone? It doesn't have to be me just… I only want you to be happy."
She chokes out a little laugh-sob, "Aw, come here you dork." She reaches her arms out to him and he leans over and pulls her into a hug, "Thank you," she whispers as she pats his back before she hisses in pain, "OK, ow, ow, ow!"
"Sorry, sorry!" Dipper exclaimsas he gently lets go, helping her ease back into her pillow.
"It's OK," she breathes with a strained grin, clutching at her side, "you didn't do anything, I just moved wrong."
"You really should take it easy."
"I will," Mabel agrees, "don't…don't worry so much. I'm feeling all kinds of sucky right now in so many ways, but I will be OK, I promise." Dipper doesn't look convinced but once again Mabel does her best to flash her most sincere and reassuring smile as she wipes the tears from her eyes, "You're an awesome brother, you know that? It means a lot that you're here, being the super supportive, overprotective worrywart of a dorky brother you are, makes me feel better already, but it's not nearly as bad as you seem to think it is. Honest. Now do you mind leaving me alone while I let that painkiller you gave me kick in so I can change and be right down?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," she chuckles softly, "it would be so boring if I stayed up here all day. I can manage."
Dipper sighs, "OK, but don't overexert yourself, call me if you feel dizzy or need help. You still look a little pale and…"
"Yes mom," she scoffs lightly,"I'm fine, now go silly!"
"Yeah, OK, see you when you're ready," he sighs as he reluctantly leaves the room.
Left alone Mabel's smile fades. She listens for the sound of Dipper's footsteps, making sure he's really gone. It would be just like him to hover by the door. But to her surprise he doesn't, and Mabel's struck with a pang of mixed feelings about that fact, which is crazy because isn't that what she wanted? For him to stop worrying and go? It's selfish of her to want him to stay and worry and that's why she tried so hard to convince him she's OK when she's not. But the fact that he's not hovering like he normally would speaks far more unintentional volumes to Mabel than anything else.
We're growing apart, aren't we?
She tries to shake the idea from her head but it lingers, along with the reality that, It's my fault.
"Blaarg!" she groans, burying her face in her hands, feeling her eyes water as she chokes out a sob.
No…no don't do that. You can do this, just…put on a smile and face the day. Stop feeling sorry for yourself dummy. You're being stupid just…get up, face the day. You only brought this on yourself, so now's the time to fix it.
She heaves a deep breath and wipes at her eyes and with a pained wince she gingerly tries to sit up, but her injured side refuses to let her get far without debilitating pain and with a cry she collapses back into her pillow.
OK…maybe later?
She groans with frustration as she tries to relax, waiting for the painkiller to kick in before she attempts to get out of bed again. She closes her eyes, fighting to resist the temptation to just bury her face in her pillow and stay there all day. She knows she can get away with it considering her injuries, but that would also mean being alone with her thoughts and she really doesn't like the dark place her thoughts have been taking her lately when she's really been given the time to think.
And yet lately, she's been finding it harder and harder to find the energy and get up lately, even before she got hurt, making the urge to just roll over and go back to sleep that much stronger. It's weird for her, because normally she has energy to spare. But after a few minutes, after the pain in her side fades from a shooting pain to a dull throb and she's confident the painkiller's starting to do its job, she forces herself to get up, even though it hurts. The simple truth is that she finds that it's so much easier to deal with this…whatever this is when she's distracted by something else.
Fake it 'til you make it, isn't that how the saying goes?
Mabel glances at Waddles who's sitting beside her and scratches behind his ears and forces a smile, "OK day, I'm ready to face you now."
She carefully pushes herself up and out of bed and with far more effort than it should be, changes into one of her more comfortable sweaters, a pink one with a panda design, and a purple skirt. The normally simple task is a chore though with her injuries and she exhausts herself until she's almost in tears again. Maybe I should just go back to bed after all, she thinks, but then she quickly changes her mind, No, come on Mabel, keep it together, you can do this! Hunching over and protectively wrapping her arm around her middle, she achingly makes her way downstairs.
She's quickly met with a familiar and warm scent when she opens the door and she breathes it in with a smile, What's the occasion? She wonders as she follows the smell into the kitchen where she sees Stan flipping over a batch of pancakes.
"Hey sweetie," Stan greets cheerfully, "have a seat, breakfast is almost ready."
"Grunkle Stan, those smell amazing!" she exclaims as she eases into her chair at the table.
"That's because they are amazing," Stan replies with a wink, "How are you feeling, kiddo? Dipper and I were taking and he tells me you got into a fight with a unicorn?"
Her smile fades, "Yeah." She glances around, "Where is Dipper?"
"Not sure," Stan shrugs, "he was here, but then Ford came and said he needed him for something, I don't know but I'd imagine they're in the basement. They already ate."
"Oh," she frowns, unable to hide her disappointment. Fortunately, Stan's not looking.
Come on Mabel stop being stupid, she tells herself, you're the one who pushed him away because you didn't want him to worry!
Stan stacks a few blueberry pancakes onto a plate and sets it down in front of Mabel and sits across from her, a slightly taller stack of pancakes on his plate. He looks her up and down and his eyes widen in surprise, "Jeez kid, you look like you're really hurting. Must've been a heck of a fight."
"Yeah well," she chuckles, "you should see the other guy."
"I'll bet!" he exclaims, "Care to tell me what happened?"
She shrugs, "It was stupid."
"That's not what I heard," Stan says, "from what I hear Ford needed to make a protection spell?"
"Yeah, for the Shack," Mabel nods, "needed some unicorn hair. I tried asking nicely but…"
"She said no and you punched her in the face!" he exclaims proudly.
"I shouldn't have done it," she sighs, picking at her pancakes with her fork.
"Hey, what's this? Don't be feelin' all guilty over that! I'm proud of you. Dipper says that because of you the Shack is safe from some 'interdimensional demonic entity' or something like that," he makes air quotes with his fingers as he speaks with a hint of skepticism, but she knows that's all for show. Stan knows that stuff is real, he'd just rather pretend it doesn't exist unless he has no choice.
"I was a bully."
"Bet she was a bully first," he says through a mouthful of pancakes, "I can't see you throwing a punch without being seriously provoked."
"I was," she admits, "she made me feel like a fool, a horrible, stupid fool. She conned me into believing that she could see into my heart and told me I wasn't pure of heart, I wasn't worthy and that I was a bad person. The worst part is…" Stan frowns as her voice trails off and she sighs, "Never mind."
"Well if you ask me, she had it coming," he says, looking her in the eye, "no one has the right to make you feel that way. No one."
"But…she was right," Mabel confesses, "She made me do a lot of soul searching yesterday, and I am a bad person."
"Nonsense!" Stan exclaims angrily, "Why would you even—don't let something some dumb magical horse tells you get to you, got it?"
Mabel sighs, unconvinced, "OK."
"You're a good kid, don't let anyone convince you otherwise," Stan adds.
"I thought I was but…"
"But nothing. You're one of the best. You want to know what a bad person looks like, look no further than Yours Truly," Stan motions to himself as he takes another bite of his pancakes.
"Grunkle Stan, don't say that! You're not a bad person!"
Stan barks a laugh, "Says you! Look at me, I'm a con artist, I faked my death and spent thirty years pretending to be my brother to escape the law from crimes I committed."
"Yeah but…it was complicated. You had to do something to get by and rebuild that portal. You made some mistakes but…"
"Mistakes?" Stan scoffs, "No, I made bad choices, knowingly and willingly."
"But you didn't hurt anyone, did you?"
"What do you think?" he asks, raising a brow.
"Well…in self defence right?"
"Sure, OK, let's go with that, and for the most part, yeah that's true, but either way it doesn't matter. I conned good people out of their money, I ran all sorts of schemes to make a buck. I still do, in case you forgot already," Stan points out, "I'm a bad guy, Mabel."
"No you're not," Mabel insists, "you take good care of us and underneath that gruff exterior of yours you have a big, kind heart. You've been through so much, with your brother and your dad kicking you out and everything between then and now…you're not mean or cruel, you're just a good guy whose circumstances led you to make some… questionable life choices."
Stan chuckles, "That's one way to put it."
Mabel shrugs.
"Anyway, so let me get this straight...You say this about me and yet you're taking the words of some stupid, nasty, good for nothing unicorn to heart?"
She blushes and nods, realizing the fatal flaw to her logic and yet it doesn't change how she feels and so she looks back at her uneaten pancakes and goes back to picking at them with her fork.
"So basically, you're holding yourself to a much higher standard than me, is that right?" Stan asks, "You're willing to make excuses for my bad choices, but not yours? Seems pretty arrogant if you ask me."
"Arrogant?" Mabel raises a brow in surprise, not expecting that at all.
"Yeah, you must think you're better than everyone else if you're going to punish yourself for being human, for being flawed and making mistakes and yet give me a free pass."
"That's not what I…"
"Oh really?" Stan folds his arms and leans back, "Because that's what it looks like to me, kid. Didn't think you'd think so little of me…"
"I'm sorry…that's not…that's not my intention at all…" she says, blinking back tears.
"I know pumpkin," Stan says gently, reaching across the table to give her a soft pat on the arm, "I'm just trying to make a point here."
"I know, I know what you're trying to say but… I don't know… I just…" she wipes at the moisture in her eyes and smiles, "You're right. Silly me for letting that dumb unicorn upset me so much. She even admitted she was lying so why should I let what she said get to me? She doesn't know me."
There's a pause as Stan regards her with skepticism and concern. "Now you're just trying to humour me," Stan rolls his eyes and when Mabel lowers her head guiltily he continues, motioning to her uneaten pancakes, "You going to eat those? I made them 'specially for you, you know."
"Really?" she asks, perking up, visibly relieved that he seems to be dropping the subject.
"Yep. Dipper says you've been down, lately and I thought maybe they'd help cheer you up. And from everything I heard, after all you went through yesterday, even without knowing all the details, I figured you deserved something special."
"Thanks," she smiles softly, taking a bite as the thoughtful gesture reawakens her appetite.
"Besides, it's the least I can do after stealing your loot which I'm guessing you got from the unicorn?"
She ducks her head and nods, "Yeah…they gave it to us as a peace offering…well, so we'd leave them alone. You can have it though, I don't mind and the girls already got their share so..."
"Thanks," Stan smirks with amusement, and he leans forward, "Tell me you see the irony in this, kid."
She grins, "I guess I do a little."
"How's your hand by the way?" he asks, tilting his chin towards the bandage around her wrist.
"Oh this?" Mabel looks at it and shrugs, "It's sore, but it's OK. It's my side that hurts the most though…"
"Don't doubt it," he agrees, "Dipper told me what happened and I know that's gotta hurt. Your hand though, can I see?"
She puts down her fork and he switches to sit in the chair next to her instead of across from her and he takes her hand and unwraps the bandage. At the sight of her bruised knuckles and swollen wrist he gives a low whistle, impressed, "Wow. You didn't hold back at all, did you?"
"I don't know what came over me," she murmurs, "she just…she made me so angry."
"How'd you do it? Show me."
"I don't really know, it happened so fast."
"Well then make a fist and pretend you're about to punch me in the face," Stan says.
"But I don't want…"
"I'm not telling you to actually hit me, but if there's one thing I'm an expert on, it's punching," Stan chuckles.
Mabel sighs and makes a fist and pulls her hand back, slowly and gingerly mimicking the motion of that fateful strike to C-Beth's face as best as she can remember, careful not to jar her injuries. Stan catches her fist and then gently repositions her fingers and turns her wrist slightly.
"OK, next time you want to hold your fist like that and when you punch something, you want to try to hit here like this," he tells her, balling his hand into a fist and striking his open palm to demonstrate, "it won't necessarily save your knuckles but you'll find that it won't hurt nearly as much and will prevent you from spraining your wrist again."
"I don't want there to be a next time," Mabel whimpers, lowering her hand and gently massaging the sore wrist.
"Of course not, but that doesn't mean you won't one day find yourself in a situation where it's necessary—especially in this town," Stan shrugs, "I just want you to be prepared is all, you're a tough cookie and can hold your own in a fight, obviously, but having good form can make a big difference. When you're feeling better, if you're up for it I'd like to give you a few lessons."
"I don't know…"
"For self defence," he clarifies, "come on, it can't hurt. You're no bully, I can trust you'd use such skills only for the power of good."
Mabel giggles softly, but there's a sadness behind it.
"Here," Stan says, taking her hand and tenderly rewrapping her wrist. There's a silence for a moment before Stan lets her go and sighs, "Chin up, kiddo, I hate to see you looking so down in the dumps."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he exclaims, "I don't know if you're feeling down because of what that unicorn said, or if there's more to it than that, and I wish I knew how to cheer you up but don't ever apologise for being sad. You're a good, sweet kid and to be honest, you inspire me to be a better person."
"Really?" she asks through glistening eyes.
"Yeah, before you and Dipper came along, do you think I ever said 'please' or 'thank you'?" he asks.
"You don't anyway," she points out with a forced smirk, even though she's on the brink of tears.
"I do on occasion," he exclaims with mock defensiveness, before he goes completely serious, "but the old me would choose to do whatever was easiest and benefit me the most, and I wouldn't even think about it or question whether it's the right thing to do or not. But now, thanks to you, even though I still make the wrong choices for the wrong reasons, a lot, I don't always. You see, now I have this annoying angel on my shoulder that looks a lot like you urging me to do the right thing once in a while. She drives me crazy sometimes, but I'm grateful for her."
Mabel pushes herself to her feet and throws her arms around him, even though it hurts to move, "Thank you."
Stan's taken aback at first, but he gently returns the hug as she buries her face in his shoulder, "Still think you're a bad person?"
Mabel pulls away, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she looks him in the eye. She doesn't say anything, because she doesn't know how to answer that. Even though Stan's words were exactly what she needed to hear, lifting her spirits, it's not enough to convince her. Not yet anyway.
It's not just about doing what's right. Maybe I'm all nice on the outside but… in my heart I am not a good person.
"I don't know," she says finally, "Things have changed…I've changed, and I'm not sure I'm liking the person I'm starting to become. I realized yesterday that I'm not as good as I thought I was, maybe it doesn't make me a bad person, but…" she sighs, her voice trailing off.
She's not perfect, she's flawed and human like everyone else, and she knows this, but a few weeks ago, life seemed so simple. Sure she made mistakes, but she knew how to fix them. But her sins of late seemed to come from within, not from her actions. Or maybe she was always like that, deep down, but it took a dramatic change in her silly little world for her to see it.
Absently she adds, "I wish things were like they were before—" She stops abruptly, cutting herself off before she can say something she'd regret.
"Before what?" Stan asks.
Before Grunkle Ford… "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
"What? Sweetie, what are you apologizing for?"
I wish I never let go of the button… Her breath hitches as the implications behind that thought slams into her.
"I don't know," she replies, haphazardly wiping the tears from her eyes, What kind of horrible, selfish person would wish such a terrible thing? It's no wonder Dipper doesn't trust me anymore…and can I blame Grunkle Ford for not wanting me around? "I'm so confused, Grunkle Stan. It's like…like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like such a jerk."
"Mabel, honey… you're not…."
But I can't just mope around and feel sorry for myself, and I can't avoid this any longer. I have to fix things before they get worse.
"But it's OK… I'm going to make things right," Mabel says decisively with a sad but optimistic smile. She wipes the tears from her eyes and leans forward, kissing him on the cheek, "Thanks for everything, Grunkle Stan."
"Anytime, pumpkin," Stan replies, clearly confused about how much help he really was, "anytime."
Feeling a little lighter, Mabel takes a deep breath, knowing what she has to do. With her body hunched over slightly and her hand protectively grasping her side, she goes to the gift shop and stops in front of the vending machine but then she hesitates, her fingers hovering over the buttons. She knows the passcode to get through the secret entrance to the basement, but she's not allowed down there, and after last night probably never will be. The last thing she needs is another misunderstanding to make things worse, but Ford and Dipper both could easily be down there all day.
"Mabel, what are you doing here?"
Ford's voice startles her and she twirls around, accidentally pulling at her wound which sends such a powerful surge of agony through her nerves that her vision goes white a moment and her knees buckle and she has to grasp the vending machine to keep from falling. Oh crap, not again! She thinks helplessly.
"It's not what it looks like!" she gasps, barely registering him kneeling down to her level and grasping her shoulders to hold her steady. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"You should be in bed resting," he says with a weary sigh.
"But…"
"And you and me? We need to have a talk."
A/N I figured at this point Mabel would be more inclined to open up to Stan than Dipper, and while I wasn't sure about including their conversation, I kinda like how it turned out. Anyway, thanks for reading! As always, please let me know what you think! I would really like to know your thoughts. Next chapter will be up soon!
