Harry pulled up a basic square pillow on the table view-screen and began to show Kathryn how to alter the dimensions and features using the vintage touch surface. The technology was similar to that of the device Chakotay had shown her that aided in vision quests.
Kathryn quickly got the hang of the strange equipment and enthusiastically set about creating her own small work of art. She decided on a large square cushion base covered in a soft leather-like fabric. There were two stripes of dark blue bordering a tan strip in the center with another tan stripe around the thick cushion. She chose a beaded pattern to sit on top of the border that was said to represent peace and growth, the beads she chose were teal and green, small and intricate.
She was still consumed with her designs when Harry told her that she needed to move to the next step in preparations. Seeing her reluctance to stop, Chakotay approached her with Be'lanna.
"Kathryn, you can always add more details later, we encouraged everyone to add decorations by hand as they go through their spiritual journey."
"You mean like sewing? And painting or… fabric dyes?"
He gave a small laugh at her shock "Yes like sewing and painting, don't worry, I can teach you how. Come on, we need to get started on expanding your medicine bundle. Be'lanna, you can start your design with Harry."
Be'lanna walked over to where Kathryn had been standing and set her medicine bundle down beside her, Kathryn was curious what her medicine bundle looked like, but Chakotay pulled her away before she could get a good look.
They walked to the opposite end of the room, and on the way Kathryn say once more how at peace her crew seemed to be here, each of them smiling contentedly as they traveled with their spirit animal.
Kathryn continued observing them and Chakotay watched her, he hated to draw her from enjoying the crew once more, but they had to get going, he knew she would take great care in making her bundle, which would take a while.
He tapped her shoulder and she jumped a bit then turned to him. "Sorry, I was just…"
"It's okay, come on, let's get started."
She reluctantly turned away from her crew and went to the small corner where Chakotay was now sitting on one cushion across from another which she was supposed to occupy.
She sat down tentatively, know this was going to be an emotionally difficult journey.
Before he lay out the medicine bundle she had started in their first year in the Delta Quadrant, she wondered for a moment where Chakotay found it, but shook the question away to pay attention to his words.
"Okay, so before we start I need you to say whether or not I am allowed to look into your medicine bundle, I cannot without permission. Only say yes if you are comfortable with it."
"Yes of course, I trust you."
He smiled a bit then began again, "Thank you for your trust. Next, will you open the bundle please?"
She untied the leather string holding it together and rolled it out. She had forgotten all the things she had put in it.
In the center was the device that aided in visions, there was also a letter from her mother, her father's pips, a ring Phoebe had given her, and a small picture of her dog, Molly. As she glanced at the items, she realized that she hadn't put anything from Mark into it, another reminder that she had subconsciously moved on a while ago.
Chakotay let her look at the objects inside, letting her touch them gently and remember why she chose each of them. When her hands stilled he asked her to close her eyes and clear her mind, she had to be open to her feelings and not block them out as she normally did.
As the muscles in her face relaxed her eyes tightened a bit, she was obviously resisting her thoughts. He put his hands over hers and and felt her relax at his touch, when she seemed to calm he withdrew his hands and asked her to open her eyes when she was ready.
Kathryn slowly opened her eyes and saw the look of concern on Chakotay's face, he cared for her and she knew that it was hard for him to watch her struggling. So, she decided that she would remain strong through this, it was time she faced her emotions, and it would be good to focus on positive things to put in her medicine bundle.
"I'm okay…. I'm ready" she said, mostly to herself.
Chakotay nodded and began to speak in a slow deep voice, Kathryn listened intently, not being able to get enough of his voice, the way it calmed her, the way it conveyed caring and tenderness.
She snapped out of her musings when she registered the instructions she had been given. She looked down and thought for a moment, then reached out for the small PADD like tablet he was holding out to her. On it there were transporter controls.
"We have modified these controls to be ultra precise without using more power, you can been any object you like into your medicine bundle, as long as you know the relative shape, size and placement."
She nodded her head and tried to think of something. Her eyes opened wide and she began beaming objects to her, quickly getting the hang of and mastering the altered controls.
Chakotay watched as items began to appear in front of him, he took note of each one, knowing they were special to her. A small diamond ring joined the array of items on the medicine bundle, and he paused in his vigilant observations to stare at it. It was beautiful, diamonds lining the front part of the band, winding with the intricate setting, the designs met in the middle where a beautiful gem sat surrounded by tiny star like diamonds.
The stone in the middle looked like it held a galaxy, simple as that, there were swirling tendrils of black encased by a like purple color and speckled with little sparkles.
Kathryn paused before she made her final transport and looked up at Chakotay. He was staring at the ring in the center, he seemed to be lost in the center stone.
"It was my mothers."
"Hm?" he replied, registering her voice after a moment.
"The ring, it was my mother's. It's a rare color of the gem rhodochrosite, my father picked her for her because he thought it looked like a tendril of a galaxy, and to them it symbolized no matter how deep in space my father was, he would always be with her, somewhere in that galaxy."
He felt a tear stinging in his eye, it sounded like she was describing how he felt about her. He composed himself as best he could and said "It's beautiful, a ring only a Janeway could wear."
She smiled, "Yes, it does seem to fit the Janeway life."
He locked eyes with her then, trying his best to convey his love. He could see that same love in her eyes, but could also see that she wasn't quite ready. He blinked and looked down and Kathryn did the same.
"Chakotay I need you to look away for a moment." She saw the question in his confused look and answered it before he could say the words. "I have one more item to put in here, but you have to look away."
He nodded and turned around, clearly curious.
When she was convinced he couldn't see, she beamed the object right into her awaiting palm. She took both hands to caress it, once again touched by what it meant, she looked at Chakotay, then back at the object, hoping she would be ready to show him soon.
She sighed and placed a single peach rose encased in a thin layer of glass into the bundle, then wrapped the bundle and told Chakotay he could turn around. She ready for the next step.
