***author's note: I'm sorry.***
***author's note 2: I'm so sorry.***
***author's note 3: If you are still reading this story, you rock. And I'm sorry.***
January
The drive to Burnt Cabins was just under three hours from Philadelphia, but in the snow storm it took over four. It was late January and the storm that everyone had predicted for Saturday, had come two days early. Rebecca had just started her second semester and the workload was immense. But classes had been cancelled for Friday and with Sid not going to the All-Star game she had three uninterrupted days with him, and no snowstorm was going to stop her. She hadn't seen him since New Years. They'd spent the holiday at Marc-Andre's annual New Year's Eve party. It had been more than a party to welcome in the new year, it had been Rebecca and Sidney's coming out party to the team and their families. Sure there had been dinners here and there, but it was always in small groups. Ringing in 2015 was nothing short of epic. And every WAG was present and accounted for. Saying goodbye to teammates and their families through trade or free agency was always hard, but Rebecca couldn't help but feel relieved this past summer when Deryk Engelland and his wife went to Calgary. Rebecca and Melissa had never discussed that day at the sushi restaurant, there was no need to. Rebecca kept her WAG circle small and since school had started she barely saw anyone. She didn't go to Halloween parties or help out at fundraisers. She felt guilty about it, but Sid understood. However, she had known the party was important, so she was happy to go. Neither were big on public displays of affection. They spent most of the night chatting with friends, standing close. Occasionally Sid's arm rested gently around her waist and the more she imbibed the most she found herself squeezing his arm when something caught her attention. When midnight struck, He had pulled her close and pressed his lips firmly to hers. When they pulled back their eyes met and the unspoken wish for a happy and drama-free new year gleamed in their eyes.
The house was barely visible as Rebecca drove down the long path. Snow covered the branches in a thick plush blanket. A few evergreen trees brought the only splash of color down the drive, but when she reached the end, the cabin came into view. It was just like the picture. Small but charming. Cozy. As Rebecca parked, she noticed that Sid hadn't yet arrived. She checked her phone and had a message that he was about 45 minutes behind her. She replied and grabbed her bags and went inside. The home was beautiful. Wide open with rustic touches. The living room featured a large stone mantle with a fireplace, a large chocolate colored sectional adorned with throw pillows in modern prints and muted colors. A thick rug lay in front of the fireplace. The kitchen was modern, the dining room formal. A staircase led upstairs and Rebecca climbed the steps and found the master bedroom. She set her bag on the large bed and open it up. On the top of the bag sat the black negligee she had bought with Chelsea over the holiday break. Her friend had gotten her a Victoria Secret gift card for Christmas with the stipulation that they would go shopping together where Rebecca could use it for something sexy and not sensible like Chelsea thought her friend would do. Rebecca had agreed and spent over an hour browsing the options trying to find something that Sid would like and something she felt comfortable wearing. Chelsea shot down every selection. "Not sexy enough", "too much fabric", even comparing her selections to "nun like" to which Rebecca rolled her eyes. Finally she went bold and selected a black gauzy two piece. Small black satin panties with a boned corset and black see through fabric that covered her midsection. The bra pushed up and out her modest chest and the underwear was barely non existent on her backside. Chelsea approved and Rebecca thought now was the perfect way to welcome Sid. She changed into the garments and looked in the mirror.
Was this a good idea? She felt like maybe she'd gained some weight since buying the teddy. Her chest spilled out of the fabric, the boning tight around her rib cage and the panties were so high cut that little was left to the imagination. She stared at herself, trying to talk herself into this idea. She needed to own her sexuality, be proud of her body no matter what. Rebecca arranged herself on the bed and thought about texting Sid to see how far he was, but changed her mind when she thought about him texting while driving in the bad weather. Instead she lay there waiting for him. But as each minute passed, her courage began to weaken. She lay there for a good 30 minutes, waiting and wondering if she could pull this off. She was trying to be more brave, be more of a risk taker. But this...this was out of her comfort zone and she could feel the anxiety build. Maybe she would put it on later. After some wine. After spending some time together.
Yes, that was a much better idea.
Rebecca bounced off the bed and began to work at the hook and eye closures that went up her back. She'd gotten about halfway down when she heard the door open. Then a moment later Sid's voice calling out, "Hello, I made it!"
Rebecca worked faster at the clasps, trying to get out of the garment as fast as she could.
"One sec!" she called out, her voice high pitched.
"Hey, Becs, you upstairs?" he called back.
"Yes, be right down!" she shouted as suddenly her efforts at removing the teddy were delayed. One of the hooks seemed to be caught on the fabric. She tugged at it hoping to get it free, but it wouldn't budge. She pulled and pulled but it wouldn't give. She could feel the sweat beading at her temples. C'mon, she thought. But it was no use.
"Becs?" she could hear his voice getting closer. She tried to pull the teddy over her head but the boning was still too tight around her midsection. She cursed under her breath. Wasn't the point of these things to make it easy to take off? She was running out of time. Digging through her bag, she pulled out a large t-shirt and pair of running shorts and threw them on, stuffing the gauzy fabric of the teddy into the shorts. She crossed the room and opened the door just in time to see Sid standing there, his hand outstretched for the doorknob.
"Hi!" she said breathlessly and a little too loudly. The lingerie was concealed but she could feel the boning dig into her skin.
"Hi," he replied, his eyes softening at the sight of her, a smile blossoming on his face. The lines were there, a little deeper than usual. If she hadn't been so caught up in the sexy sleepwear disaster she might have noticed how stressed her looked.
"Sorry I'm late, the roads are a mess," he reached out to her and she maneuvered into his arms, hoping he didn't feel the mass of fabric under her clothes. He gave her a kiss that as always curled her toes and allowed him to pull her close temporarily forgetting about her current state. He didn't seem to notice as his lips burrowed into her neck as he breathed her in. She felt the chills overtake her and even though it had only been a few weeks, she missed him fiercely.
"God, I missed you," he mumbled into her skin, vocalizing her very thoughts.
"Me too," she replied her hands sinking into his hair.
Sid pulled back and took her in. She was dressed in just a tshirt and shorts, which allowed him to admire the shape of her legs. He loved her legs. The silky smooth skin, the curve of her thighs, the strength of her calves that curled around him during sex. It was the distraction he needed and a nice reward for the long drive.
"Let me show you around," Rebecca said, somewhat bashful of his ogling.
She gave him a tour of the cabin, he looked around and made comments, but seemed distracted. She too was overly self aware of her undergarments so she didn't pay too much attention. On the dining room table was pizza and wine that Sid had picked up in town. She was starving and hoping to buy some time until she could get the ridiculous get up off. She gathered plates and napkins. Sid had called a service, so the fridge and pantry were stocked along with a large bouquet of fresh flowers that sat in the middle of the dining room table. THey made easy conversation, but she couldn't help but notice how many times he looked at his phone.
He seemed a little bit off. The season had been an adjustment and she knew that the All-Star break was a chance for him to just decompress. She was sure the stressful drive here didn't help and so she took his plate and went into kitchen to search for dessert. A few minutes later she reappeared with two thick slices of chocolate cake. It was indulgent, but that was what this weekend was supposed to be about. As Rebecca came to the table she saw Sid bent over his phone. Swiping furiously at the screen.
"Everything ok?"
He jumped, actually startled by her voice. He looked at her and she could swear she saw a flash of guilt cross his handsome features.
"No, I mean yeah. Fine. Um, I have to make a quick call. I'll be right back."
Rebecca nodded and set the plates down. She wasn't sure what was going on with him, but she would take this quick second to try and get the teddy off. She dashed upstairs to the bedroom and stripped off the t shirt. She worked at the hooks frantically. She could hear the fabric begin to tear. Not wanting to ruin the garment, she tried a new tactic. Wigging about she tried to shimmy the teddy around so that the closures were in the front. That way she could look at the issue and work to remove the fabric that had become caught. She was almost there when she heard his voice.
"Need some help?"
Rebecca closed her eyes. Over 6 years she had known him. They had been through everything together. But nothing had been more embarrassing than this moment, right now.
Time after time she found herself in these compromising situations and somehow he was always around for the show. Only this time, despite the tsunami of embarrassment, she began to laugh. Giggles burst through, her cheeks hot with mortification but her eyes wet with tears of laughter. She was a sight. Her chest hanging out of the twisted lace and mesh. Her skin red and raw from the tight fabric. The rest of the teddy still stuffed into her navy nylon running shorts.
She looked at him, utterly exposed, embarrassed and hysterical.
She watched as his amusement grew into a wide smile. The lines on his face crinkled in mirth rather than drawn by stress.
She wiped at the tears and nodded. "Yes, help me please."
He walked towards her. His smile faded into a different look. Not serious, though. More like determined. Focused.
Predatory.
In one swift motion he pulled his t-shirt off and dropped it on the ground.
She stopped giggling. Her skin flushed and her heart began to race in anticipation.
He came closer, his hands touched her shoulders, his palms running up and down the warm skin.
"Should I even ask how this happened?" he asked, no longer smiling but amusement still in his voice.
"I wouldn't even know where to start," she said, a little breathless.
His hands ran up and down her arms, across her shoulder blades, then down to cup her breasts, his thumbs moving across her nipples, causing them to pebble instantly.
He stared at her body. His eyes laser focused.
"Is this for me?" he asked, his hands working to turn the teddy back around to its proper direction.
Rebecca nodded. She could explain the whole story, but right now, the lump in her throat made it hard to speak. In just a glance, he could reduce her to jello.
Well, jello confined in twisted and tangled sexy underwear.
When he had gotten the teddy back in its rightful place, he placed her breasts back into the bra cups, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Her breath hitched.
He stared at her, his eyes raking up and down her form. He pulled the fabric loose from her shorts, and pushed the nylon down. She stepped out from the pool of fabric and stood before him, clad in only the teddy.
His eyes met hers. She could feel the sweat slide down her temple. Her hair had to be a mess. "I'm a disaster," she mumbled.
"No." He shook his head. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," his voice hoarse.
She swallowed. A thrill coursed through her veins.
His hands were gentle as he turned her around. He dropped a kiss on the back of her neck, his finger pulling aside her dark hair so that his lips could find her fevered flesh. Then his fingers went to work.
Only instead of undoing the hooks, he was putting it back together. His fingers went up putting all the hooks back together. He leaned forward, his front pressed up against her back. She could feel his arousal. His hands were gentle on her shoulders. He brought his mouth to her ear, his breath tickling her. "If this is for me, don't I get to enjoy it?" His voice was deep and thick and all she could do was nod.
He pulled back. There was some rustling, then he turned her around.
Now it was Rebecca's time to ogle.
He stood before her, naked. His chest sculpted, his thighs large and solid, his cock hard and ready for her.
No matter how many times they'd been together, she still found it difficult to wrap her mind around the fact that he was hers. And only hers.
He pulled her to him and kissed her. His mouth hard and demanding. Rebecca tried to keep up, her tongue seeking his, her lips moving quickly against the fullness his lips. His hand moved quickly, down into her panties, his fingers seeking her heat, that was blistering and weeping for him. She could feel his fingers soak in the carnal need for him. Then one was inside her, then two. His fingers curled into her, another added. Filling her, stretching her.
"God, you're wet," he breathed.
Rebecca nodded. "Yes."
"Who makes you that wet?" he breathed against her ear, his solid form pressed hard against her.
She was seeing stars as his thumb rubbed against her clitoris.
"You." she sputtered as she humped shamelessly against his hand, her release coming fast and hard.
"Only you." she repeated.
He pressed his mouth against hers and moved his hand faster and faster until she came apart in his arms. She held onto him tightly as the waves of pleasure ripped through her.
There was no time to recover though. In a split second, Sid pulled his hand free and pulled the tiny panties down her legs. She stepped out of them just in time as he pulled her to the bed and covered her. Bracing his weight, Sid leaned forward and kissed her. His hands went up the gauzy material as his palms slid up and down her sides. It took only an instant for him to slide into her. Filling her in a way that his fingers, while large, couldn't properly do. He was inside her. And she felt complete.
Sid moved slowly at first. In and out. Lazily as if the need for his release was not a priority. Rebecca arched against him. Moving in sync with him. Overcome with pleasure and desire that she could only close her eyes and sputter out her love and need for him.
Suddenly, she swooped and opened her eyes to find their position reversed. He was still inside of her. But she was on top. He looked up at her, his face red, sweat beading at his hairline. His hands firm on her hips.
"Ride me," he said simply.
And she obliged.
The sensation was overwhelming, but she fought to contain it. She wasn't ready to come.
She lifted herself up, then down on the rock hard flesh. She found a rhythm and worked herself up and down. Despite still wearing the teddy, she was fully exposed to him. Shamelessly impaling herself over and over on him. He held her hips guiding her, words of encouragement strangled and hoarse.
Then Sid's movements became static, frantic as she knew he was close.
He flipped them over, his hands on hers, as he pounded into her. She moved with him, her release so painfully close. "Come for me, baby," she heard herself say. "Come inside me, I need you, please, Sid." Her voice sounded foreign, the words, not common for her to say. But her need right now was so strong.
It was enough. Moments later she felt her crest consume her, just as the heat of his release flooded her. She screamed in ecstasy and so did he. They rode out their pleasure together, holding each other tight.
Afterwards, he pulled her close. The lull of sleep pulling them both.
"I love you," she whispered into his skin.
"I love you too."
"Better than the all-star game?" she asked smiling.
She could feel the rumble of his laugh against her cheek.
"Oh yeah. No contest."
Later that night Rebecca woke to him gone. She figured he was in the bathroom or getting a drink of water. But it was a long time until he returned. She felt the bed dip and he pulled her into him. Minutes later she was asleep.
The next night it happened again. She woke to find his side vacant. She lay there wondering, until she finally got up and went searching for him. She walked gently down the stairs until she saw him. Hunched over the computer, staring at a screen. "Sid?" she called quietly. The laptop slammed shut. "Be right there," he said quickly. Confused, she turned and went back to their room. Minutes later, she felt his heavy presence next to her, he pulled her close and she didn't ask any questions.
The third night when he was gone, she'd had enough. She reached the staircase and started her way down. But this time she heard a voice. His voice. It was quiet but agitated.
"I'm trying, it's not that easy," she heard him say.
She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop but something was up.
"I know it's late, but I need you."
Rebecca froze. She tried to keep calm. Who could he be talking to? Who did he need?
"You're so good at it. It will only take a few minutes. I'll feel so much better after. Please." The urgency in his voice was unmistakable and Rebecca began to feel queasy.
"I won't ask again. No, she doesn't know. I can't tell her. Not yet. I need you."
Rebecca turned and went back up the stairs. She felt like she'd been hit by a truck. Everything was going so well. Sure it was tricky working out schedules. And time together wasn't as much as either liked. But he seemed ok with it. This weekend had been wonderful. Talking, watching movies, making dinner, making love. It had been everything and now it suddenly felt hollow. At the New Years party, she'd been talking to the WAGs about a recent divorce one of the players was going through. The girls had rallied around the wife, knowing that the split was due to infidelity. But more than a few of the ladies hadn't been surprised. Some questioned it as a reason to break up. Cheating on the ice was taboo, off the ice it was a common occurrence. The statistics didn't lie. It would happen to a lot of them. Was it happening to her? After everything they'd been through?
She wasn't sure when he came back to bed. She had fallen into a fitful sleep and in the morning woke up to him passed out beside her.
She went downstairs and made coffee. His laptop sat on the table. Closed. She stared at it.
Sometime later Sid came down the stairs. His hair was in disarray and his cheeks flushed from sleep.
"Hey," he said groggily, rubbing at his head, he was wearing only a pair of shorts and she looked at him, anxiety racing through her veins.
"Are you cheating on me?" she blurted out. Not willing to stew over it any more.
He looked at her in total confusion.
"What?"
"I heard you. Last night on the phone," she rushed out. There were no tears, she had to be strong.
She watched as guilt washed over his face, his cheeks turning even redder
Oh god. It was true.
She stood up quickly. She wouldn't show him her tears.
"Becs, wait, you don't understand," he grabbed her arm as she rushed past him.
She wheeled around and stared at him, the tears brimming. "How could you?" Her voice broke.
"It's not what you think," he rushed out. "I didn't know how to tell you."
She stared at him, trying not to break completely.
"Just give me a sec." He looked conflicted as he crossed over and grabbed the laptop.
She watched as he powered it up. Visions of him and some girl, or worse, Katy, skyping late at night. Hushed conversations, him needing something, that Rebecca couldn't give him. It was more that she could take.
"I wanted to tell you, but then I got this. And I was embarrassed. I've been staying up at night trying to redo it for a better grade. I was on the phone with Taylor. Trying to get some help.
His words didn't make any sense. Rebecca stared at the screen. It was an email, with a scanned image below it. Air Tactics Cause and Effect in the Battle of Luzon. It was an essay or a paper of some sort. There was scrawl across the top, C- and a comment, formatting issues, please contact me.
"I'm taking a course. I started a few weeks ago. I was going to tell you this weekend. My mom talked me into it. I got this back the first night we were here. My instructor said I could revise it over the weekend but it had to be back to her by Monday morning."
Rebecca just stared dumbly at the screen. Then looked at him. Regret filled his face. Relief slammed into her.
"You're going back to school?" she asked quietly.
"Sort of, I mean it's just one class. It's on World War II. I thought if I liked it and did well I could maybe take a few more. Get my degree someday. I swear I was going to tell you, but then I saw that C- and I...I don't like underperforming. I wanted to fix it first and get a better grade then show you. So much had changed with formatting and citing your work. I was just lost."
"I could have helped you," Rebecca offered, but knew his pride probably kept him from asking.
"I know, but it's just, you're so smart and this stuff is like super basic. I didn't want you to see me struggle."
"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," she said quietly and full of shame.
"No, it's my fault. I should have just told you. You know I would never do that to you, Becs. Never. I swear."
She nodded, angry at herself for where she'd let her mind go.
"Can I read it?" she asked. "The revised version?"
He nodded, although looked a little queasy at her request.
Twenty minutes later, she reached the end of the document and looked at Sid. He had a wary look on his face.
She smiled. "It's really good."
"Really?"
She nodded, "Fascinating actually. I did see a few...opportunities to fine tune it. Did you turn it in yet?"
Sid shook his head, "No, I was going to this evening."
"Do you mind?" she gestured at the screen. He smiled slightly and shook his head again.
Hours later the essay was finished. They talked over dinner about Sid getting his college degree. Rebecca looked at him with great pride. It was hard to show your weaknesses to those closest to you, but when you did the results could be more than you ever thought.
They went to that cabin over a dozen times in 2015. Rebecca helped Sid score an A in his first class and helped him choose a course for the Fall. It was a busy year and the season ended on a disappointing note. She traveled with him to Europe and they went on an extended vacation to celebrate Rebecca getting through her first year of law school and Sid winning Worlds. In the Fall, Sid went through a tough couple of months. He was stressed, agitated and threatened to drop his class in hopes that he could concentrate on getting out of a slump that was beginning to consume him. Rebecca could only watch helplessly as he tried to work through it.
Life was made of tests. Some that you passed, some that you failed. Some that you just did ok on. Sometimes you had to revise it. A redo. Take something that seem scattered and unfocused and fine tune into something amazing. Sometimes those tests were in the classroom, sometimes on the ice, sometimes in the bottom of a bathroom garbage can reading negative despite missing two periods. 2015 was a year of ups and downs. But what was around the corner?
Something that neither of them could have ever predicted.
And those were the biggest tests of all.
