LISTEN TO YOURSELF
Harley Quinn's Perspective:
Empress brought us back to Mistah J's apartment, then she drove off in a hurry...probably late for another contract or something I don't know. I don't know what to think of her...I really don't see as the type that my puddin would fall for, but he's a flirt and he'll likely have his eye on her ass as well as mine.
It was about 3AM, in the bedroom with my puddin who is currently keeping me awake with his unpredictable sleeping pattern. One moment he'd be awake, the next he'd be laughing out loud in his sleep or turning over and smacking me in the face with his paw-like hands. He sleeps like an animal, no wonder he acts like one.
I'm lying here wide awake with my thoughts. I've been thinking a lot recently...it's not good for me.
So, it's been a while. How's it feel to be lying in bed with a psycho?
What do you care? You never cared about anything I had to say...you always make me do bad things so why should I listen to you?
If you didn't listen to me you'd probably be twiddling your thumbs in prison, or dead.
I'm not in the mood, leave me alone.
I can't do that, Quinzel...not until you admit to yourself that you're not that person anymore. No more miss psychiatrist, no more caring...just be that destructive self of yours which Mistah J loves so much.
I have, you know I have. How else would I kill, torture and manipulate so many people?
Was that really you? I think you're still faking. When your puddin finds out you're still acting then he won't be happy with you.
He broke my brain, my heart and my sanity into more pieces than I can count...what's to say that he'll ever think I'm still 'sane'?
You started talking without your accent, what's that all about?
Sometimes I need to be serious.
Joker doesn't like seriousness, you should know that.
I know that I'm done arguing with my own head, just leave me alone.
Why would I do that? It's way more fun watching you gradually fall apart at the seams.
You won't get much entertainment from me, not anymore.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I've had enough. I need answers, I will actually wake him up right now at three o clock in the morning and demand answers.
You might as well just jump out of the window, it'd be less punishing. That's suicide.
Yeah well, I've already died inside. Nothing he can say or do will hurt me more than it already has.
Ouch...I don't like this side of you, Mistah J won't either. Let's get some more positive thoughts in your head. First: Get dressed in your actual jester outfit. Not the new clothes, they're reminding you of who you were when you met him, it's toying with your brain. Second, make your face pale-white like Joker's, draw a smile on your face with paint. Third, remember that jingly fun little jester hat and domino mask you bought? Yep, throw those on too.
Who are you to tell me what to wear? I asked myself. All of this was happening inside my brain, yet Mistah J had no idea what I was going through right now. Whilst he's hogging all of the duvet and lying across nearly the whole bed: arms flailed randomly, one hanging over the bed and the other stretched over the pillow...I'm questioning my sanity, for the thousandth time today.
I don't think it's necessarily true what my brain's suggesting...It's likely I'm just tired, a little rusty to the habits of my puddin. I need to get back to that part of myself...I'm sane or insane; there is no in-between.
Mhm, that side of you is much more attractive to a clown psychopath. Shall we get on with it, then?
Get on with what? Making myself into the Harley I was before my original jester outfit was confiscated by the guards at Belle Reve for being 'unpractical'? Yeah...why not I'd love to at such an early time in the morning, hey why don't I just go and knock on the door to Blackgate and ask to be taken into their care once again?
You've broken your puddin out of jail before, dressed as the lovable jester you know you are. You are lovable and you're adorable. Anyone who doesn't see that can just die.
That doesn't explain to me why I should do it.
Well, you do love your puddin...don't you?
Yes...
And you want him to be happy...don't you?
Yes...
And you want him to squish your cheeks together with glee when you finally kill The Batman...don't you?
He doesn't even want to kill B-man though, he always growls at me at the mention of that idea.
He's always trying to kill Batman, that should be obvious to you.
True...but what can I do?
You could kill The Batman...imagine how happy he'd be with you. How proud he'd be.
It'd be too obvious if it was me...besides...I know Mistah J doesn't want to actually kill B-man! Not yet, maybe one day but not until he wants to.
Fine, then how about donning the uniform anyway and getting some real bedtime loving from Mistah J?
No.
Why not? Isn't that what you want?
It might be what he wants...but it isn't what I want.
Mistah J tossed around in his sleep, pretty much kicking me out of the bed. I had the smallest part of the bed which he wasn't claiming, and I mean small. I got up from the bed and tiptoed over to the wardrobe. I slid the wardrobe door open. It creaked. I looked over at him, he was still fast asleep.
I was still wearing the dress from this evening and Mistah J was still suited up in his tuxedo. We literally entered the apartment, dragged our feet to the bedroom and collapsed onto the double bed.
I rolled my eyes and yawned silently. Why am I up at three in the morning?
Because you want to cause some mischief tonight, with or without Mistah J.
What kind of mischief?
Any kind you want, you're the clown princess of crime.
Hehehehe, let's do it! I continued the conversation with myself, finally admitting into the crimes my second-thoughts were suggesting. Having a voice in your head gets annoying...but sometimes it actually gives you some great advice, or ideas. I've learnt to live with it now...because it won't go away.
Damn right I'm not going to go away, you're way too much fun to take the piss out of.
See? It kicks in whenever it feels like it, which is majority of the time really...most of the time I just ignore it. My thoughts, no matter how insane or crazy they are... they all have a meaning.
I realize that my tight-fitting jester suit will make a lot of noise...inevitably waking my puddin up from his slumber. If you think he's grumpy normally...wait'll you see what he's like first thing in the morning.
I look over to him. He's sitting up on the bed.
"What are you doing at this time of night?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing."
"Couldn't you sleep? Hope I didn't keep you awake, I know I do some weird stuff in my sleep" he got up from the double bed, pacing his bare feet towards the wardrobe.
"No, I was already awake, lying with my thoughts...y'know, just thinking"
"About what? You know you need your sleep...you're cranky without it" he smirked. I was expecting him to be more...angry. It's early hours in the morning and I just woke him up, unless he was already awake. "Is something bothering you, Harley?"
I let out a large disappointed sigh. "It was meant to be a surprise" I explained, showing him the black and red jester outfit which also had a white floppy collar. I smirked a little. "We'll have so much fun together with me in this tight little number" I smiled, hugging the outfit in my arms.
"When did you get that?"
"I stole it sometime ago, from a costume shop. A real harlequin outfit. Don't get me wrong...I love the baseball jacket and stuff but it's not giving the real 'Harley Quinn' vibe." "They confiscated it from me at Belle Reve for being 'impractical' and I later stole it back from the confiscation cupboard." I giggled. "I was waiting for the perfect time to show you"
"Three in the morning isn't the best time..." he said, slightly irritated.
"I know, and I'm sorry...but I was just so excited to show you!"
He groaned and slumped back onto the bed, grasping the duvet in his arms firmly. "That's great, but you'll wait until the morning. Don't wake me again"
He was clearly annoyed, but not as grumpy as I was expecting him to be. Maybe he's right, maybe I shouldn't wear this jester outfit yet...I should save it until we really start using our villainy to the full extent.
What we've been doing...that's nothing compared to what we are capable of doing. Sleep tight, Gotham...for tomorrow you shall realize your mistake of shunning us from the world.
Tomorrow...our true reign of terror begins.
