The World Shifts
I walked into the inn alone, grateful that no one had accosted me on my way into Wintertown but not surprised. I'd bested Robb and though we loved each other fiercely we were also rivals. Anyone who would have questioned my decision to go into Wintertown were occupied with the feast planned for the evening. Lord Karkstark was present and he'd brought both his heir and his daughter. The young maiden would no doubt be doing her best to charm Robb while ignoring the resident bastard, a thought that would have rubbed me the wrong way if I wasn't about to finally find out who my mother was.
The Inn was relatively empty, only a few merchants, some smallfolk, and a few guardsmen. Many recognized me and gave me the queer mixture of deference and indifference I garnered due my status as a favored son of Eddard Stark who happened to be a bastard by birth. T
The man was alone in the farthest corner, no serving maid near him though he had two cups of ale. He stood with a smile and welcomed me then said.
"Welcome Jon Snow. I'm glad you came. I saw your skill in the yard and wanted to let you know that in Essos your bastard status wouldn't be an issue if you chose to sell your sword. It's not considered a noble profession here, but if you restrict your services to merchants from Braavos and Pentos you help out the only two free cities who have banned slavery. And in Braavos, a man's destiny is his own more than any other place in the known world."
I nodded along as if this was what I was hoping to hear, wondering why he would act like this was what he'd invited me to speak with me. Perhaps he did care about inciting the wrath of my Lord Father and was doing his best to dissuade any listening ears from prying in on our conversation.
"Finish your ale lad, I'll pay and we'll retire to my room so I can show you some of the various things I've collected in my travels. This way I can show you all that you can earn as a sellsword. You'll see I'm not speaking falsely about the opportunities available."
As we left the first story I noticed one of the guards from Winterfell watching us both go upstairs. I excused myself to use the privy as I felt a need to collect myself. The guard who'd been watching us exchanged a few words with the nameless "Sellsword" . His facial expression told me he'd not been saying anything complimentary to the strange Southron man.
I left the privy then followed the man to his quarters.
"The guard warned me that even a bastard son of Eddard Stark had too much honour to become a 'plaguing sellsword', and that I was wasting my time. I am no sellsword. Although it pains me to play the mummer, I could think of no other way to present myself without attracting too much attention. I am Ser Own Costayne. I was squire to the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, Ser Gerold Hightower."
He said this in quite severe tone that brooked no argument. I noticed that he seemed pained when he spoke the Ser Gerold's name. He paused as if to collect himself, his face that of a man who was feeling intense emotions. He managed to maintaine a sense of calm through sheer force of will.
"You know that the War of the Usurper ended with the murder of the Princess Elia and her children? And that after this Lord Stark rode to Dorne to find his sister. There he battled three Knights of the Kingsguard; Ser Gerold Hightower, Ser Arthur Dayne, Ser Oswald Whent. It is shocking to me how many fail to question why three Knights of the Kingsguard were in Dorne after Prince Rhaegar's death. You are the reason they were present."
I interrupted him then
"I don't need a history lesson on Robert's Rebellion Ser. What do I have to do with three Kingsguard Knights?" I was angry and raised my voice as I said this.
He silenced me by raising a finger to his lips.
"Lower your voice! Let me finish and you'll come to understand." He looked at me waiting for me to agree to his demands and I nodded though I was angry and confused.
"At this point the Kingsguard members there did not consider Aerys to be their King. Rhaegar was their King, and so they were bound by their oath to protect his heir. They'd learned that all of his children by the Princess Elia were murdered and so stayed to protect his only remaining heir. The babe in Lyanna's belly. You."
I was so shocked that when I opened my mouth to deny it my voice failed me.
Ser Owen continued.
"I know this because I met Princess Lyanna in Dorne. I came with Ser Gerold to Dorne after Aerys had ordered the Lord Commander to find Prince Rhaegar. He had taken her as his second wife, believing he needed to have a third child. She was more than willing to go with him, all the stories told about him abducting her were a false tale told by liars."
I shook my head fiercely.
"You're lying. Eddard Stark is my father, he wouldn't lie to me! If you were a squire to Gerold Hightower why are you still living? I can't believe I-"
"I lived because I was forced to leave the Tower of Joy after falling ill. I'd gotten the Spring Fever, and Ser Gerold feared I might infect the others. I was a danger to the pregnant Princess, and so I was sent to Starfall and told not to return until I was summoned. They worried I might give their location away. They had one of the servants take me in a small wagon which they'd used to bring supplies, and no one asked questions in Starfall."
As he spoke I saw a man who had lost his life's purpose due to tragedy. He spoke like a man who was doing his utmost to reclaim that purpose and yet believed that he might yet fail. I was struck dumb by the story he was telling me.
"Lord Stark lied to protect you. If Robert Baratheon learned Rhaegar had left a child behind, he'd have you killed. It is said that he smiled when he looked upon the corpses of the Princess Elia and her children. He called them dragonspawn, as if they weren't human!"
He spit out the last sentence with such hatred that I flinched. He calmed himself then continued-
"That is the reason speaking about your mother is forbidden. Don't you think it is odd that Lord Stark refuses to discuss it with you? It is too painful. The whole war, the death of Brandon and Rickard Stark, all because of a lie that your sister had been abducted. No doubt he learned the truth at the Tower. I swear this story to be truth, upon the Old Gods who are not mine and the New Gods who failed me I swear it. I am loyal to you, your Grace. You are Rhaegar's only living heir. Whatever you would have me do, I would do it."
He said this like a man making an oath to the Gods.
"How can I know that you are speaking true Ser? This could be a lie meant to-"
I didn't know what purpose he might have in lying to me. What would he gain? If it were a lie my father- My-
I couldn't even process the implications of all that this man was saying. I stood and made to flee when he grabbed me-
"Listen to me carefully. You must not speak about this to anyone, unless you know you are alone with Lord Stark. Ask him if all I've said is true. Ask him to swear upon the old gods that this story is false. Be careful, your life and the life of your kin would be endangered if the Usurper learned that his friend had kept the last child of Rhaegar Targereyen alive."
I felt tears begin to fall down my face and I began to shake my head. I felt like I was drowning and realized I'd stopped breathing.
"You must calm down! Breathe!"
I took deep breaths and sat down gasping. Ser Owen continued to attempt to calm me.
"Remember, you cannot scream or shout or yell about this. It is never my place to order you but I tell you this because you would put your life and the life of everyone you care about in danger. Best you find a way to be discreet; Lord Stark will either refuse to confirm this story or attempt to lie. That is why you must force him to swear it upon the Old Gods. Tell him that you must speak with him in private in the Godswood. There you will have privacy and he will have no choice but to refuse to speak on it or confirm this story."
I dried my tears, splashed some drinking water on my face and sat in silence for the better part of an hour.
When I finally felt calm enough to leave for Winterfell, I had no words for the so-called Knight who'd upended so much of what I thought to be true. I arrived forty minutes later, went directly to the Great Hall, where the feast had lead to dancing and drinking. I walked up to my Fath-to Lord Stark who was speaking with Lord Karkstark.
"Pardon me My Lords." They both looked at me with queer expressions on their face. I suppose that I looked out of sorts.
"Yes Jon? Is something amiss?" I was too overwhelmed to control myself and blurted out
"I cannot speak of it now. I never ask for much, my Lord, but if you could accompany me to the Godswood this evening, or at some point on the morrow, I would be much obliged."
Lord Rickard excused himself after a look from his liege lord and suddenly we were alone.
"What's this about Jon? Not ten minutes ago, one of the guards informed me that you had been speaking to a sellsword. What were you doing with a man like that, and what happened between the two of you that has you in this state?"
I closed the small distance that separated us, then whispered into his ear.
"I've just been told that you're my uncle."
I stepped back to look at his reaction. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. The blood on his face drained away completely, and he almost staggered. He opened his mouth but no sound came out and I knew then that the man who I'd idolized and wished to be like had lied to me my entire life.
"Wha-?"
He composed himself then, and the face I hadn't seen since I'd asked about my mother came to him. But before he could speak I walked away.
"Lord Stark. When you have time, please, the Godswood. That is the only place I will speak to you about this."
"You do not walk away from me Jon!"
I froze, then turned to face him.
"My Lord. If I stay here a moment longer I'm not sure I will be able to control myself. Please give me leave."
He looked like a man who was preparing to battle to the death, full of tension, fear, and anger.
He didn't even say a word. He looked at me for a long moment, nodded then left the Great Hall. His facial expression was severe enough to drive away any who thought of approaching him.
Robb was dancing with Alys Karkstark and any others who might have asked what we'd spoken about were too absorbed in feasting and drinking to ask me. A moment or two passed, then I went into the kitchens and used the servants exit to make my way to my room.
As I changed into my small clothes and went to bed, all I could think on was that my entire life was a lie.
