Confirmation

I barely slept. The sun had yet to fully rise when my Father- when Lord Stark entered my room.

"Ten minutes. Meet me in the Godswood."

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made to get up. By the time I'd confirmed I'd be there he was gone.

I arrived to the Godswood feeling like a man who was lost at sea. We were alone, any that had come to pray making the wise choice to leave after seeing the look on my Uncle's face. As I thought about the implications of the man I'd known to be father being my Uncle in truth I grimaced and felt another wave of nausea overtake man who I'd worshipped my entire life had lied to me. For my own protection, I understood. But knowing that did nothing to stop the storm of emotions taking place inside me.

I sat next to the man who I'd called father all my life and waited for him to speak. His back was stiff and his face held the icy visage I'd come to call his "Lord's face."

"Who was the man that told you..that you are my nephew? How did he convince you of such an incredible story?"

Was he going to try to deny it? I scoffed at the idea of him doing so and frowned.

"His name is Ser Owen Costayne. He was a squire to Ser Gerold Hightower, but was not present when you arrived because he had been forced to leave due to illness. They worried that he might infect the others present. He claims to have told no one for fear of the truth getting me killed. I would hear the story from you, Uncle."

I said this without any emotional inflection in my voice save the last word. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and attempted to regain control of myself.

"I wish I could tell you that he lied to you. I cannot do so. He was right that the truth could get you and everyone you love killed. I'm sorry I was forced to lie to you, but I am not sorry that I did. You understand why I had to do it?"

I stiffened, then shook my head. The storm of emotions that had been plaguing me since Ser Owen had told me the truth overwhelmed me.

"Aye, I know why you had to do it. You had to tell this lie because Robert Baratheon had siblings I never knew murdered, and you feared he'd order me killed as well. It galls me to think that you speak highly of this man. He would have me killed for being Rhaegar's son, but allowed Balon Greyjoy's son to be your ward. The Ironborn are murderers and rapists and thieves. The Targareyen's built the Seven Mad King murdered my Grandfather and Uncle. But no one can claim that House Targareyen should only be known for Aerys II or Maegor the Cruel. I understand he hates them with a passion but it was you and the Starks that lost the most. He has no right to feel as he does. He claims to have loved my..my mother but would see her only child murdered. That man...he will never be my King. I don't care for the Iron Throne. It means nothing to me. I just hate being treated as less than others because I've always been known as the Bastard of Winterfell. I would have rather grown up in exile!"

My Uncle's face was filled with grief, pain and anger.

"You know not of what you speak! Your mother begged me to protect you and I have ever kept that vow. Lying to the world, lying to my wife, lying to my King!"

"Pardon me. You know nothing about what it means to be a bastard. I am always seen as less than my siblings. Less than even Theon Greyjoy who has no honour, who mocks me for being a bastard. People don't trust me. Aye, it could have been worse I've always known. But now I wonder..what would life have been like if I had grown up with Ser Arthur Dayne and the other members of the Kingsguard. I've never felt like I belong here. And I've always hated being thought of as a bastard. Did you know I planned on never laying with a woman because I didn't want any child to have the experience of growing up a bastard?"

"Who say's you would have been allowed to grow up? You would have been Jaeherys Targeryen and Robert and Tywin Lannister would have done their best to have you murdered. Better you to be alive and thought a bastard, with the realm at peace. Maybe you would have been safe, and the realm would be forced to prepare for another war. There are many who would fight for you, or for the power they might attain from supporting you. I did what I had to do to keep the realm at peace and to keep you alive."

I shook my head...even my name was a lie.

"I understand. The world is not just, and just men lie to protect those they love. But you still claim to be friends with the man who forces this lie to be told. That I cannot understand. How can befriend a man who would kill me if he knew the truth."

My Uncle winced as if I'd struck him. I'd never seen him look weak but for a moment I could see that he was shocked by what I'd said. I continued, wanting him to hurt as I did.

"I know nothing about Robert Baratheon. But you have ever been a just man, and always taught me to be honorable and true. So how is it that an honorable, just man, claims friendship with a man who is so filled with hate that he would look upon the bodies of women and children and smile? He wouldn't have me killed because he was worried about a rival claim to his throne..he'd do it because of his hatred."

Clearly these were thoughts he never allowed himself to think. He shook his head, as if he could deny this truth. I watched his face go through guilt, anger, and grief and felt a perverse joy from making him suffer.

"Enough. You have made your point. Now you will swear to me that you will do nothing to endanger the realm or this family. You will swear it upon the Old Gods."

I was shocked at his response. He didn't even argue with me, neither defending the man he named a friend nor the nephew he claimed to love as a son.

"I never expected the North to support my claim to the Throne. I love you, even if a part of me hates you too. I love Robb, and Arya, and Bran and Rickon and even Sansa. So I will swear it now in front of you and the Old Gods. I will never endanger my family. But I can't stay here as the Bastard of Winterfell or the truth may come out. I will need time away."

"You can go to the Neck. Howland Reed was close with your mother, and it will be easier for him to speak with you about her. There you will not have to risk being caught while talking about your...history. I will supply you with an escort."

I nodded then blurted out a half thought idea.

"Ser Owen will join me. I'd ask for gold enough to support myself until my 16th year. After I leave the Neck I'd atleast like to see Braavos. I'm told that people there care little about birth. Coin they may worship, but there I will be valued on my skills, not my name."

I was as surprised as him when the words came out. Where that idea came from, I'm not sure. At least I would be able to see the world, which was more than most could ever hope for.

He nodded, then we sat together in silence, each of us trapped in our own minds.