A New Burden
We spent less than forty minutes speaking, yet we stayed beneath the Weirwoods white branches for most of the morning.
It was Robb who broke us out of our melancholy silence. He approached us in the ebullient, carefree way of a young man who feels he has nothing to worry about. When was the last time I'd carried myself that way? Four years ago, when I realized that I'd always be a bastard and thus always be a separate part of the family I loved.
"Father! Jon! How much longer can you pray beneath the weirwood?" As he came nearer to the two of us he finally realized that we were not in the mood for japes or lightheartedness. "Apologies. I had not realized I would be interrupting the two of you. One of the servants tried to warn me but I assumed that he was just intimidated by the two of you praying together. Why such long faces?"
I looked between my Uncle and my brother...-I grimaced then as I realized that just as Eddard Stark wasn't truly my father, neither were my siblings truly brothers and sisters. The silence between the three of us was deafening and I struggled to come up with a something that would explain the mood the two of us were in. Before I was able to piece together something my Uncle spoke.
"Jon and I were discussing his place here in Winterfell. He knows that you and your siblings will always recognize him as a brother, yet he realizes that he must go out into the wider world if he wishes to make a name for himself. Ten and Four is too young to go exploring the world alone , though the two of us think we have managed to come up with a solution that works to keep Jon safe during his..travels, while affording him the independence he craves."
Robb looked between the two of us, a wide-eyed expression on his face.
"Brother...what's this about? You've decided to leave Winterfell? Has something happened between you and my mother?"
I frowned and shook my head at the two of them. I was no mummer and wasn't capable of pretending to be one, but then I realized I wouldn't have to lie to explain myself.
"Robb..I have no choice in this. I am no Stark. The love I have for you and the other members of House Stark will never change this. I have never experienced life outside of Winterfell's walls.. I met a man who has traveled throughout Essos as a sellsword. He's earned a good living doing this, and claims to have never needed to take work that would be considered dishonorable." I trailed off after this, not knowing what else I should say.
Robb shook his head before replying. "A life as a sellsword? And you've agreed to this Father?"
"I did not agree that Jon would become a sellsword. I will pay the man to...travel with Jon, and guard him. This way he is protected and is traveling with a man who knows the Free Cities. We have already decided that they will leave for two years, then return to Winterfell so that Jon might tell us what he has decided to do with his life."
Robb's look of consternation left to be replaced with one of envy. I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing; I'd never seen him look at me with envy before. I'd gotten many looks of understanding, some of pity, and more of love but this was a first.
"Lucky! You get to travel around the Free Cities while the rest of us are here! I can't believe it..that's much better than being a sellsword..its more like you're going on a two year adventure!"
I smiled then, Robb's ignorance and optimism combing to make me smile for the first time since we'd fought our bout the previous day.
"Yes..I suppose all things considered I am lucky.." I smiled at Robb, then at my Uncle."
The hidden meaning behind my words was lost on Robb but not his father. As the three of us spoke, I realized that while I'd grown up a bastard, I'd also grown up in a family that loved me. My Uncle had always treated me as he treated all of his children. He'd done the best he could in the most important ways, and I was finally calm enough to accept the decisions he'd made. I thought about Robb and Arya and Bran, and how they'd always treated me like I was a trueborn brother and accepted that though my life had never been perfect, I'd always been blessed.
"You say that now, brother. I relish the tongue lashing Arya will give the both of you; Jon for leaving on an adventure without her, Father for forbidding her from traveling as well." Robb smirked at the both of us, and we both grinned then frowned at the thought of confronting an irate Arya.
I went directly to the Wintertown Inn to tell Ser Owen of the conversation I'd had with my Uncle. I finally felt some closure now that I'd gotten the story confirmed. I could not call myself happy, but I felt much better about myself than I had since I'd learned I was a bastard. I knew my parents loved eachother, and that I'd been born of that love.
The two of us spoke about the story we'd crafted to explain my decision to leave. Ser Owen had no complaints about posing as a sellsword. He had in fact traveled throughout Essos when he'd learned that my Targereyen relatives had been forced from their home in Braavos. He'd spent two years searching for them before he'd given up.
"Why did you decide to stop searching for them if you knew you'd be waiting for years before approaching me Ser Owen?"
He frowned then replied, "I'd been in Essos for over two years and had several scrapes with bandits and thieves. I was a lone foreigner whose Valyrian marked me as a nobleborn of Westoros . I did not have the resources to always travel with guards. Essos is far too hot to travel in full harness and so I made due with a cuirass underneath a merchants attire. If I was not cautious enough to wear my cuirass I'd be dead today. Twice I was set upon by a group of thieves. The second time I would have died from blood loss or infection if a .. friend I'd made hadn't decided to take care of me. I stumbled into her home after dispatching the three cutthroats and she had me cared for. I accepted that I did not have the resources to continue my search and that my first duty was to you, Your Grace."
I shook my head at his last sentence. "Don't call me that! I'm not a King, no matter what you say!" He adopted an even more severe expression before he replied.
"You are the rightful King of Westoros. I can accept that you are not a King as clearly...Robert Baratheon is the current ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. But you are royalty, you are a deposed Prince at the very least, and you should think of yourself as such as opposed to thinking of yourself as Jon Snow the Bastard of Winterfell. I will only refer to you with your proper titles when we are alone, but I do this so that you might think of yourself as you ought to, Your Grace."
I nodded at him slowly, then returned to Winterfell to begin preparing myself for the long journey ahead. As I was walking along the path that would lead me to the place I'd always thought of as home, I realized then that the burden of being a bastard was being replaced with the burden of being the last living son of the so-called "Last Dragon."
Author's Note: I really don't have any idea about the pairing or "ship" on this story. I'm going to attempt to write a story that is somewhat plausible in the ASoIaF plot is being driven by Jon Snow learning of his parentage early, not my desire to see him paired with one person or another. I really detest the pairing driven plotlines found in most fanfictions. AsOIaF is brilliant because it trolls tropes and clichés and isn't scared of tragedy or violence. It isn't a teen romance book, though if you look at most of the stories available here it seems that the most who post here miss that point. I am using the ages from Game of Thrones. Some of the show elements will be used as well. I might try to and go away from 1st person later on in the story. This is my 1st attempt at writing fiction in years and I know that the quality here is rather poor.
