Goodbyes

Getting away from work wasn't anywhere near as painful as Arthur had expected it to be. He'd told Tim that he'd been offered to fill in last minute for a farmer's apprentice in Rainyoak and, too busy to ask many questions, his boss had given him a shrug and a nod, letting him know that a replacement could easily be found while he was gone in that flippant tone Tim always used with his workers.

"I understand," Arthur replied and, though he knew Tim spoke more harshly than he really felt, he also knew that what he said was true and something he had already expected. He couldn't ask any more of his boss when he knew he would have to 'borrow' Magnus again in order to make the journey.

"Just one thing, Arthur," Tim turned back to him and Arthur was at first surprised that he had used his name ( Tim usually stuck to the traditional 'Turnip-boy') and then nervous for a moment that there had been a hole somewhere in his story, "let Belle know before you go, will you?"

Arthur nodded.

In fact he bumped into Belle not long later on her way home from the post office. When Arthur greeted her she seemed startled and clutched her letter to her chest protectively. She laughed in relief upon realising it was him but quickly tucked the envelope into her skirt pocket. He gave her the same story he had given Tim and she beamed with happiness to hear it.

"Oh, that's good, Arthur!" she touched him on the arm, "an apprenticeship at a farm will be really good for you - I hope something comes of it."

"Thanks, Belle," he returned her smile, for the first time wishing that his tale were the truth, the unnerving task of travelling with a strange, fierce woman a much less agreeable prospect, "it's just temporary though, I'll be back here when it's done, I'm sure."

"I hope not!" Belle exclaimed, "of course I want you back with us, but maybe there's an opportunity for better there - I can imagine you as a farmer - a big country house where Mel and Peter could spend time in the garden - oh, but I know I get carried away."

Her smile faded in a way it would not have done a year or so before.

"At least someone is optimistic," Arthur attempted to cheer her up, wishing he could have the hope and imagination that she did.

They parted with a swift hug, Belle keeping one hand either on her swelled stomach or the precious note in her pocket as they did so.

Mel, who he was sure would be the most difficult to convince, refused to hear his temporary apprentice story altogether.

"Is this to do with the guard coming round the other day?" she had interrupted almost immediately.

Arthur had protested at first, attempting to reassure her that there was no real trouble, it was only a short time he'd be away, nothing she had to worry about.

"Whatever it is, Arthur," she spoke calmly, "I know it must be necessary if you're acting on it. I trust your judgement."

That evening Arthur had gone out of his way to please his brother, who was in better spirits anyway due to the pheasant stew Mel had made, but still, he wanted to give him some kind of good image to remember him by.

On the fourth day Arthur was finally able to ride up to the palace, with more nerves than ever before, to see Alfred for what he thoroughly believed could be the last time.

And, by the gods, don't let this be the time I'm caught, he thought to himself as he skirted swiftly through the forest on his borrowed horse, watching the spaces between the trees like a hawk.

Alfred was already waiting for him when he arrived, looking equally anxious. He was dressed much more formally than Arthur was accustomed to seeing and he wore a pair of glasses which he couldn't seem to stop adjusting. Despite his fidgeting, he looked older than usual, tall, well dressed and now, with the addition of the spectacles, oddly scholarly. At that moment Arthur saw him as somebody he could perceive looking up to as a leader, rather than just a kid. But no, it was more than that, he looked more refined, like a man.

"I wasn't sure if you'd come," Alfred announced breathlessly as Arthur vaulted off of his horse, holding the reign rather than bothering to tie it, "I can't stay too long."

"Neither can I," Arthur replied dejectedly and the two weren't sure how to proceed for a few seconds, as if both wondering whether it was more sensible to part right there and then.

"It was a nightmare getting away," Alfred admitted, "I was only able to slip out because everyone is so distracted with each other at the moment and the Jack was too absorbed in arranging this afternoon's meeting to worry about where I was."

And the Ace? Arthur wanted to add but decided against it.

"Oh yes, the Winter..." Arthur frowned at not being able to remember it's name, "...the winter wotsit," he pulled a guilty expression and Alfred laughed, "how's that going?"

"Winter Deliberation," Alfred corrected, smiling, "you wouldn't believe it - the other morning we were all in the conservatory and the King of Diamonds walked in covered in bruises, like properly beaten up! And it must have been another royal or something but I don't know who'd have the guts for that...well, maybe Ludwig after he's been drinking..." Alfred shook his head in wonderment and then seemed to recall Arthur's presence, "...but that's not important - how's everything?"

Arthur briefly outlined the situation at home, describing the Blackshirt meeting but guiltily, painfully leaving out the details of their next move. He almost told him about the planned rising in the capital , just for the bright, naive spark Alfred had in his eye, Arthur would have told him - but he could not deny his people the basic right of being noticed. Mercifully the rebels planned no violence against the prince and so Arthur could hold it in. He couldn't risk letting down the struggling people at home.

"There was this other thing too..." Alfred started up abruptly as there was a break in their exchanges, Arthur may have been inclined to stop him - fearing the time that had already passed - but the flush in Alfred's cheeks fuelled a curiosity in him.

"Yeah?" Arthur replied, swapping Magnus' rope to the other hand and trying to seem disinterested.

"Angelique kissed me - In the library," the second statement was said as if an important afterthought.

Arthur, despite his original resolution to remain disinterested, felt his eyebrows raise. There was a feeling which began as surprise and then turned to something more bitter in his throat - like acid.

Alfred just waited for judgement, watching Arthur's expression change and looking as if he could be holding his breath. Magnus chewed on a twig noisily.

"Well, good for you," Arthur's remark came out a little more coldly than he had intended - or perhaps it was exactly how he intended it.

"Arthur? Don't get like that," Alfred wrinkled his nose in dismay, "your so bad at talking about this stuff!"

"Wait though...how? What sort?" Arthur thought to ask, a little harshly, remembering what Alfred had said about the Diamonds greeting she liked, or had it been Hearts? It was a lot like Alfred to take that too seriously.

"How...did she kiss me?" Alfred frowned at Arthur as if he was a little dense but his blush revealed his own insecurity on the subject, "um, with her mouth?"

Arthur shot him a glance as sharp as the crisp air between them.

"Well, yeah, dummy," he was in danger of flaring up himself, "what I meant was - was it a kiss like you'd give your aunt or like a...a proper kiss."

"Ew, you kiss your aunt, Arthur?" Alfred was not obviously teasing nor obviously serious. Arthur thought he could see the corners of his mouth trying to crack a smile despite his sheepish state.

"No! I don't even have any aunts, so..." Arthur took the bait, letting the joke fluster him - already kind of flustered, actually.

"Anyway, it was like a...a proper kiss. It was late and she found me in the library - at the telescope - and she was saying all this stuff about being queen and I was kind of freaking out and then she kissed me, which was crazy, but when I pushed her away she-"

"You pushed her away?" Arthur asked with too much interest, a surprised jolt in his gut. Perhaps it was just a change in the wind that had made him feel that sudden change in temperature.

"Of course I did!" Alfred seemed incredulous, "You know I don't think of her like that, Artie, and I just found it weird the way she was...you know, pressing herself all over me and stuff..." he pulled a face, "I mean she was all over me, she was even going to..."

"To what?" Arthur demanded sharply, feeling as though his eyebrows could not conceivably be any further up on his head.

"...Nothing," Alfred decided, face flooded with embarrassment.

There was a dragging silence.

"Well, you always told me she found you pretty annoying," Arthur finally uttered dryly after staring Alfred down for a while, his chest tight with a weird protective instinct, "so you've done pretty well to turn that around."

"Hey, I never used the word annoying!" Alfred replied in his own defence, "but she wasn't exactly being nice about it, Artie, she seemed really mad before she kissed me - even madder afterwards."

"Girls don't tend to take being pushed away so well," Arthur contributed, having, believe it or not, done it himself not that long ago to a seriously drunken girl at the Goose, "why was she angry before though?"

"Something about me not noticing her and that I could have her but I'm...oblivious, I think she said," he scrunched up his face as if to share with Arthur the ridiculousness of such a point of view.

"Ah," Arthur pursed his lips, "alright, I can kinda see what happened there a bit more now - starting to get a better picture."

"I felt really lousy..." Alfred looked worried behind his new glasses, "I guess you think it's dumb that I didn't want to kiss her that much - I mean, I've been thinking that Yao probably plans for a marriage as well as a coronation -and it's kind of a spades thing too, I mean, my parents were married and people liked that - and I'd like to do that stuff with who I marry and if that's Angelique then...well then it makes sense, is all...and it's not just that, obviously, but because it's healthy to, you know...want that stuff - I know it is because even Yao said it and I've read stuff and...and because I do want that stuff... sometimes."

He averted his gaze from Arthur as he uttered this last confession and willed the hot flush in his cheeks to disappear.

But not with Angelique? Arthur's mind questioned. He himself felt a little out of depth exploring Alfred's deepest desires and found himself struggling as the boy at last returned his embarrassed gaze. Something about it all made Arthur's stomach twist. Hadn't he just been thinking that Alfred looked a lot more like a man now? But he realised now that he necessarily didn't want him to be. When he was just a boy he was...well, in short he was Arthur's. But now, he was Angelique's or any other girl who fancied him. It couldn't be jealousy could it? He shoved the thought from his mind; positively hurled it.

Alfred was still blushing as if his life depended on it but seemed to gain confidence now. He looked as if these were things which he had wanted to say for a long time and was relieved to voice. Arthur could picture him, agonising over these things in the middle of the night. He did feel bad for him. Arthur had always had a pool of adolescent male wisdom surrounding him growing up - perhaps if Alfred had heard a few of Karlos' tales he wouldn't fret so much. Maybe it wasn't that Alfred was growing up that made Arthur feel so uncomfortable. Maybe it was the possibility that he was growing away.

Arthur gained sudden perspective on the time they had passed together - not today, but over the course of their lives; one moment Arthur was explaining how to climb a tree without falling out and now look at them ,discussing, what Alfred almost endearingly (only almost, Arthur insisted inwardly) referred to as 'stuff'.

"So, you're saying you didn't even want to do it at all? Just because you don't...love her?" Arthur found there was something oddly chivalrous in the sentiment...but he found it hard to believe that Alfred had such a high resistance to the charms of a woman. On that occasion not so long ago Arthur had let that drunk girl kiss him until she had shown worrying signs of vomiting down his shirt, at which point, and only this point, he had pried her from him and handed her, offended, back to her less afflicted friend, pointing them both in the direction of lavatory. Arthur had let that girl kiss him having firmly accepted for a fair amount of time that he wasn't really attracted to girls much at all.

"Well...I have kind of considered it..." Alfred lost eye contact with Arthur and looked concerned as if admitting a dirty secret and expecting punishment, "I thought, yeah... maybe it would have been nice to have someone...um...well, you know," Alfred groped for the words, searching the older boy's face with a pained, helpless expression,"...to, um, do it for you, you know...," his cheeks flushed a deep scarlet and Arthur let out a choke of surprise, trying to mask it as a throat clearing cough, "...um, but then I thought about how it was when I was kissing her - when she was kissing me - I just felt awkward and weird and...uncomfortable," he caught Arthur's gaze for a second and saw that the other was now pulling an equally concerned (and mortified) face , "it was nothing like the books said - not really. And it wasn't like I imagined - she wasn't who I imagined it being with, I think."

"Well," Arthur's voice wavered at too high a pitch as he attempted to hold Alfred's anxious eye, still thrown off by his friend's honesty , "...I guess I can understand that."

Despite his obvious discomfort, Arthur's weak answer did seem to soothe Alfred somewhat and he noted how his shoulders sank in his velvet jacket and the way he sighed, looking idly at Magnus who was still chewing on a protruding twig.

"And I kept thinking about that thing you said," Alfred went on eagerly, adding, when Arthur cocked his head in perplexity, "about love - about not pinning your hopes on love."

Arthur struggled with the phrase - did he say that? He wondered. Kinda sounds like me, he thought. Something sombre and lonely like that sounds a lot like something I'd spit up. That would stick with you I guess.

"Perhaps don't take that too seriously," Arthur curled his lip at the amount of self pity he must have possessed at the time to have offered such advice, "but I guess sometimes love and sex are sort of different things."

Alfred rearranged his glasses, frowning. Magnus stopped chewing and sniffed at Arthur's collar as if also interested in the statement.

"So, which is more important ?" He asked seriously.

Magnus' breath was too warm and tickly in the cold air. Arthur batted him away softly.

"Well..." Arthur turned a few shades darker, "I regret that I'm no real expert in either."

Alfred promptly joined Arthur in terms of complexion and gave him a sheepish look, "me neither, I guess."

There was strange moment in which they merely considered each other and said nothing at all. Arthur kicked himself for thinking either of them very grown up at all but in an awkward, embarrassed way felt somehow a lot closer to him.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think it's bad that you pushed her away," Arthur muttered at long last, "in fact it's...sort of big of you I guess."

Alfred's eyebrows rose and Arthur thought he looked dangerously close to cracking a pleased smile. The older boy promptly gave him a glare - didn't want him too big headed - and Alfred pursed his lips together and nodded instead. Arthur nodded back and then the younger boy did smile and Arthur didn't really mind, a sudden swell of affection filling him as he realised it was time to say what he had come to say.

"But...listen, Alfred," Arthur said as he began to feel the weight of the time which had already passed, "I wanted to tell you that I'm going to have to go away for a bit...and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to visit you like this again with things the way they are. This is, sort of...goodbye."

Alfred's smile faded and his brow knotted together as he considered Arthur's words.

"What...?" Alfred spoke at last, "I...look, I know things aren't great right now Arthur but...but that doesn't mean we have to just stop seeing each other...I mean, I was thinking and isn't it so ridiculous? That there should even be a problem with me seeing you? I'll be king soon - can I not do what I like?"

His frustration mounted and Arthur looked at the ground and sighed, he had half expected Alfred to respond this way.

"Unfortunately, I think that's just it," he was withdrawn as he spoke, still not meeting the other's eye, " you will be king soon - so you can't do what you like. We were never even meant to meet each other, Alfred...that's...that's just the way the world is."

" But it isn't how I want the world to be, it isn't how it should be - I thought you felt the same way, Arthur," Alfred took a step towards him, pleading in his eyes.

"But it isn't just about me anymore, Alfred ," Arthur went on, "I think the guard know who I am; I'm worried about my family."

"I...I don't want to cause you any trouble, I would never want that," Alfred now seemed torn, "I just wish you'd told me you felt this strongly earlier I could have done something, I'm sure of it."

"What could you have done? None of them in there will care about your relationship with a peasant," Arthur said this bitterly, " anyway, I'm doing something about it myself - I'm sorting out this mess."

"How?" Alfred was curious now, head cocked slightly to one side.

"Do not utter a word to Yao or the Ace or Angelique or anyone, alright?" Arthur waited for Alfred's eager nod in response.

"Alright."

"I met someone - someone who told me they know of people who can clear my slate with the royal guard to get them off my case," Arthur was nervous to impart this information to the prince, however much he trusted him, "as far as I know I'll need to travel quite far along the west forest path to reach them, it's above the capital - and that is ALL I can say about it."

Alfred looked as if he had a thousand questions to ask him but he somehow kept his mouth shut. His angered expression slowly faded and his shoulders sank in defeat.

"...I'll be honest, I think they might be suspicious of me too," he hung his head with a dejected expression, "but isn't it stupid, Artie? That there should be such a problem with just having a friend? Doesn't that seem stupid?"

Arthur was thoughtful for a moment.

"Really stupid," he agreed at last.

"You're wrong about this being the way the world is though," Alfred spoke with a strong emotive note in his voice, "it isn't how the world always has to be! You go and clear your name and leave the rest to me - soon, when the fuss has all died down I'll see you whenever I like - they can't deny me that. I may have been a royal ornament as a prince but I'll be damned if I have no say after the coronation. We've come too far now to back down - protect your family now but you sure haven't seen the back of me. You'll be at tea in the palace before you know it."

"You really believe that?" Arthur asked with a somewhat sad smile and, what's more, he found himself desperately wanting to believe it too.

"Of course!" he replied enthusiastically though his voice was thick and emotional, "you know you can reach me by letter too - just use a name only we will know and send it to the address I told you and - the western path you said? I'm going to record every bend and village it passes through," Arthur could not help but smile at how devoted Alfred sounded - he had never known how much he actually cared about him, " I refuse to just...let you go, Arthur, you're too...you're my best friend."

Arthur looked at Alfred feeling a sadness tugging at him, threatening his resolve. Here was the boy who had taught him to make a daisy chain, put him to sleep with his rambling anecdotes and looked at him in such a baffling, admiring way so often that Arthur had sometimes even felt as if it was deserved. And now he was to say goodbye, a feat which seemed so small before the boy in question was standing before him, welling up behind his new glasses.

"...Okay," Arthur murmured, feeling as if right now he would allow him anything; he could not deny him anything.

Alfred stepped forward and wordlessly the two hugged one another, an action Arthur found as strange as he had the first time the prince had done it and yet it came as a complete comfort. He allowed himself to experience Alfred's general being and scent and nature as another, real person who felt as he did and thought as he did and yet was not at all like him.

They parted and Alfred took off his glasses to rub his eyes. For a moment Arthur saw those bright, endless blues which had impressed him ever since their first meeting. Magnus' fussing only added to the tension and the urgency of their separation.

"I suppose this is it," Arthur said at last.

"I'll see you soon," Alfred replied with dedicated conviction.

Arthur gave a nod and there was a moment where they two only stood staring at one another.

For some reason they instinctively embraced a second time: Perhaps it was to do with their previous conversation or perhaps it was just the swell of emotion in Arthur's chest which arose as he considered walking away. Before they could completely pull away, in a impulsive moment of affection he took Alfred's hand and pressed his lips to his fingers, grazing his knuckles with a kiss which was oddly intimate.

Alfred held his eye as he did so, taken aback by the gesture and looking like he might cry. His mouth was ajar and the wind kept on rippling that golden hair like it ripples fields of wheat. His stomach felt like it was a whirlpool and his heart had sped up about ten times faster in his chest. Arthur seemed surprised at his own action and his own sigh sent warm air over the others hand.

How was it that one kiss on his hand from Arthur could set off a spark in Alfred stronger than any of the advances from Angelique. Was there something...wrong with him?

"Arthur, I...-" Alfred began suddenly, voice breaking, wanting to tell him what was in his head, wanting to say: 'you're the one I imagined it would be with'.

"-See you soon, then," Arthur spoke quietly but firmly, unable to hear any more.

"But-..."

"Alfred, if I don't go now I don't think I'll be able to do it - don't make me say goodbye to you again," his voiced wavered, "please."

"I-..." Alfred fought the urge to say what was in his aching head, " alright, go."

"I'll see you again, love."

Arthur mounted his horse and gave Alfred a final glance before turning and riding at a dizzying speed in the opposite direction, fast enough to ensure he would not crumble and turn back to that boy who he did not know meant quite so much.

Alfred held onto that word 'love' for the rest of the day. He knew he shouldn't pin his hopes on it, but it was all that kept him from breaking a little bit inside.


A/N: Here ya go! Next one shouldn't take as long to get out.

Hope you're enjoying the story! Feel free to leave me a review! :D