Author's Note: I wanted to try something different, so here's the next chapter- dialogue only. You'll have to figure out who's talking. If you can figure out who's talking and tell me in a review, I'll give you…something. Like virtual cookies. Yeah. Enjoy!
The People of Camelot
Chapter Two: Background Conversations
"Ready, set go!"
"Prat!"
"Hey, who said you could go first, Merlin?"
"That's not an insult, Arthur."
"Dollophead!"
"That's right, Merlin! You tell him!"
"Nine minutes, Arthur. Merlin's got two on you."
"Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock-"
"Shut up, Eylan. I can't hear. If I wasn't your sister I'd suggest tying you up with Merlin's neckerchief!"
"Idiot!"
"And Arthur scores one point against his opponent, but Merlin is still in the lea-"
"Keep out of this Gwaine, or I'll throw you in the stocks!"
"Arthur, you're threatening Merlin, not the audience."
"Um, bloat-bellied lout?"
"If you're asking me, Merlin, that's a no."
"You can't say that, Arthur."
"Actually, he can."
"Can not."
"Can too."
"Can not."
"Can too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Seven and a half minutes!"
"Really, Lancelot?"
"I'm choosing not to answer that."
"Not."
"Too."
"Notnotnotnot!"
"Tootootoo-"
"Shut your mouths in the peanut gallery!"
"Peanut-brained paddlewheel in a pancake!"
"Where'd you get that Arthur? A kitchen?"
"I bet he did."
"Be quiet, Gwaine!
"Wow, I didn't know Percival could yell like that. Did you?"
"Nope."
"QUIET!"
"Ooh. Shutting up now."
"Six minutes!"
"Clotpole!"
"Daisy!"
"Daisy? Whatever."
"Shut up, Gwaine."
"Hehe."
"Run out of insults, MERlin? Don't be-"
"Sheep-skinned barrel-bottomed liver-lunged toad!"
"Very creative, Merlin! Twenty points!"
"They only count for one each, Gaius."
"Ah, I see. Never mind. That doesn't have quite the same ring to it."
"No, it doesn't..."
"He looks inspired, Arthur does."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Run for your lives!"
"Isn't it treason to imply that about your prince?"
"Too bad for, um, me..."
"Laaaaaame, Gwaine."
"Hey!"
"Merlin, you're such a girl!"
"Hey! How's that insulting? Sexist pig!"
"Go Gwen! Woot woot!"
"Two minutes, guys."
"Um. Go Arthur! And um, go Merlin!"
"You're cheering is even lamer than mine, Leon."
"And that means a lot, coming from Gwaine."
"Hey!"
"Shoe-sucking purple-tongued poison-producing witch!"
"Does accuracy count? Because that's contradictory."
"Good point, Percival."
"How can Merlin be a witch if he's male?"
"Are you sure he's male?"
"Really, Gwaine!"
"Er, Lancelot, does royalty count as an insult?"
"No, Uther's right across the courtyard."
"He didn't ask you, Leon."
"He got my opinion anyway."
"Pulling a Merlin, eh, Leon?"
"Perhaps."
"What's that mean?"
"Ooh! Leon, you scored a point!"
"So I did."
"Sixty seconds."
"Aaaand the two contestants are turning up blank-"
"No commentary from you Gwaine, Lancelot's got that covered."
"Thirty seconds!"
"How are we supposed to think of insults if you're talking?"
"Twenty seconds!"
"Numbskull!"
"Point to Merlin! Merlin is in the lead!"
"Think of something fast, Arthur or you'll lose."
"Damn."
"Ooh, bad language."
"Aaand...time!"
"The winner is Merlin!"
"Enthusiastic applause."
"You could clap instead of saying so, Arthur. It's GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP."
"I don't mind."
"You won, Merlin. Of course you don't."
"Don't try to be patronizing, Gwaine. It doesn't suit you."
"Because it suits you better, Lancelot?"
"He's better at it than you are."
"See, Merlin's on my side."
"Because he LOVES Lancelot more than Arthur."
"I do? Look! Arthur's going red!"
"Oh, shut up, Merlin. And wipe that ridiculous grin off your face."
"It's against the law for me to be happy I beat the crown prince in an insult contest?"
"Yes, it is."
Author's Note: Hope that wasn't too long and boring, ha-ha. What do you think? Can you say so in a single word?
