Lexa POV

Side by side with Anya, as always, Lexa left the house just to see their friends relaxing at the shore, watching the sunset. It was indeed really beautiful tonight – if you are into sunsets. "See? Told ya, Lex. We aren't late." Anya linked arms with Lexa and pulled her over to the group. The brunette recognized, that they kind of split up into pairs or group of three or four people. Harper kissed Monty just when they arrived, while Jasper talked to Bellamy; Octavia and Lincoln were cuddling but her eyes wandered on until… there she was. Clarke. She wore her gold-blonde hair in beautiful curls now, probably Harper's creation. Lexa saw, that she was talking to Octavia and Lincoln, Raven's head rested in her lap and she seemed to be really satisfied with her current situation. Completely different from the Clarke she met earlier today.

"Hey, are you dreaming, Lex?" Anya snapped her fingers in front of Lexa's face and smiled in a sassy way. "I just suggested that you should go over there to Clarke and talk to her while I try to get Raven into her bed." A horrified mien appeared on Lexa's face. "You did what?" – "No need to thank me, bestie, but you could need a nice chat and this Clarke-girl seems to be friendly. Go over there and enjoy yourself while I try to rescue Reyes before Bellamy has his hands on her." With these words she went towards the others. "Mind if I steal your girlfriend, Griffin?", Anya said with her typical voice that tolerated no ifs and buts. The next thing that happened was Anya carrying Raven towards the Blake-house.

Now Lexa felt a bit sorry for Clarke. She saw the blonde following Anya with her eyes, until Clarke recognized that Lexa herself also arrived. The way Clarke's facial expression changed from confused to a super cute and (maybe even a bit relieved?) smile was breathtaking. Come on, Woods, get your ass over there, conceal do not feel and – most important thing ever – stop staring. Lexa followed her own orders and found herself sitting next to the blonde just a moment after. Now that Octavia and Lincoln were 'busy', she had Clarke all on her own. "Sorry, Anya can be a bit…"

Clarke POV

"…terrifying?", she completed Lexa's sentence and saw a small smile appear on the other one's face, just for a second, although the beautiful eyes did not show any sign of amusement. They stayed cold. "Very", Lexa agreed and nodded. "Up for a drink?", she asked Clarke and showed her the bottle of vodka she carried with her. Oh damn. The alcohol Clarke's stomach tolerates the worst. But still she felt herself nod automatically. Lexa took the first slug of the bottle and handed it over to Clarke. "Drink up, Griffin and welcome here." The alcohol burned down her throat, but Clarke took another slug. Connected with the other alcohol Clarke drank before, she felt that dizzy feeling appearing in her head.

"I can't believe you two drank so much! Lexa! Look at her, she's a complete mess right now. Poor Clarke." Ouch. The pain in Clarke's head came unprepared, while she opened her eyes carefully, trying to find out where she was. Oh… still at the shore and… What? Her head rested in Lexa's lap. Speaking of which, Lexa started to talk in that moment, before Clarke could even react. "You recovered quickly from your own drunkenness, huh? And she's fine, Raven. Oh and by the way – she is old enough to know her limit!" – "At least I am sober enough to see what you are doing here. Again. Of all the people, especially YOU should know how fucking dangerous alcohol can be!", Raven snapped. Whatever Raven referred to, Clarke felt how Lexa's posture stiffed and her grasp that still hold the blonde's back, hardened. "I am more than capable of taking care when it comes to alcohol", Lexa snapped back, "…and don't you dare mentioning it ever again."

It? Clarke was surprised by the coldness in Lexa's voice, her body winced involuntarily. It was as if Lexa invented a new kind of coldness. What the hell was going on here? Before Raven could say anything else that would make the situation even more tense, Clarke tried to slowly get up, just to sink back into Lexa's lap right after. "I'm sorry", she mumbled quietly, searching for the brunette's gaze while she heard Raven angrily huffing off. Lexa did not answer but she carefully came back on her feet and lifted Clarke's body up. "Lexa…I'm sorry", Clarke started again but the dizzy feeling came back and she had to concentrate on not falling back to the ground. Before that could happen, Lexa's arms were back on her side, holding her, carrying her slowly back to the house. "You don't have to say anything, Clarke. I just want this night to end right here and right now."

Lexa POV

Conceal, don't feel. But how should she do that, if Raven's words immediately crashed into her heart and opened the wound she closed for such a long time? She helped Clarke going upstairs and showed her the way to her own room, which was closest to the bathroom. Probably the best option today. Now that Clarke fell asleep in Lexa's bed, Lexa herself went over to the comfortable small place under her window, sat down and pulled her legs close to her body. With one gaze back to Clarke she made sure that the blonde was asleep before she looked back outside. The star's light was bright tonight… even the full moon was there. The small waves of the sea sparkled in the moonlight. It seemed to be so peaceful. She would have loved this, Lexa thought and swallowed, when she felt tears appearing in her eyes. Don't cry right now. You're stronger than this, she reminded herself and took a deep breath. What now? Going downstairs was not an option. Some of the others – and probably including Raven – were still downstairs, she heard them listening to music. Lexa grabbed her phone and checked the time. 2:36am. Already? Oh… and 4 missed calls plus 6 messages from Anya.

11:35pm
"Lex, where are you?"
11:56pm
"Probably still drinking with this Clarke-girl, huh?"
00:23am
"Never mind, I do have Bellamy here, he might be an idiot but at least he knows how to drink. And where the hell did you and Clarke go? I can't see you anymore. And this shore isn't that big."
01:34am
"Hey, are you dead or something? Come on, I want some details."
01:59am
"Lex?"
02:21am
"I swear, I'm gonna kill Raven. She told me what happened. Need to talk?"

Anya always had this 7th sense. Even if Lexa wanted to, hiding something from Anya was kinda impossible for her. Lexa typed a short "Don't worry, I just need some time" and put her phone back into her pocket. This was getting too much sometimes. All the things that happened the last year were ever-present. The thoughts, the guilt feelings and the pain. The pain was the worst feeling of them all. Involuntarily shivering, she closed her eyes and leaned her back against the wall, not knowing, that somebody watched her. ...