Thank you guys for already following my AU about Clexa. :)
But I just have to say that I'd be really happy about some reviews.
You could for example help me with my ideas for the plot or tell me what I could change to make the story better.
Enjoy the next chapter - and... may we meet again!
Clarke POV
Clarke was not able to sleep right now, although Lexa immediately thought, that she was asleep. No…The moment Clarke saw Lexa struggling with herself over there at the window, nearly crying, she felt her heart stop for a second. One step, two, three and she felt that dizzy feeling again. Damn. Clarke bit her lip, counted to 5 and went over to the window. "I might not be the best for that right now but…", Clarke started, totally aware of the fact that she probably scared Lexa – who was still deep in thoughts – to death with her sudden appearance. However, she could not complete her sentence, her head nearly killed her right now. Lexa's whole body winced, Clarke totally caught her off guard. The blonde girl slowly sat down next to Lexa, her eyes closed until the dizzy feeling disappeared for now. When she opened her eyes again, she saw that Lexa was staring at her. "What I wanted to say is… if you need somebody to talk to… here I am. I mean I might not even remember all this tomorrow…", Clarke continued. With an encouraging smile she looked back at Lexa, who still did not say one word. She was silent, but her eyes spoke volumes. To see her like this – sad, kinda broken, hurt – it broke Clarke's heart and let the smile disappear within a second. For a few moments Clarke just looked at Lexa, their eyes locked in a familiar way. "I'm sorry I messed it up tonight. I should have told you that I have a low tolerance for alcohol and especially for vodka. And I will definitely talk to Raven, it was not fair that she…" Lexa raised her hand to stop Clarke's apology. "There is no need to apologize, Clarke. Not for you." Even her voice was broken. It was not cold anymore, just sad. And she seemed to be so vulnerable. Clarke took a deep breath and grabbed Lexa's hand, just to comfort her somehow. Lexa did not move her hand away, she just lifted her head again and looked at the stars. In the light of the full moon, her eyes were brighter than before. Brighter than the stars.
"She would have loved this view", the brunette finally said, closing her eyes and Clarke bit her lip again. "She..?" – "Costia. My ex-girlfriend." Clarke followed Lexa's gaze up to the stars, held Lexa's hand a bit tighter and swallowed, unsure if she should ask, but it was unnecessary, because Lexa wanted to tell her more. "Costia died last year. In July." Their gazes met again, Clarke's was full of compassion, while Lexa seemed to see something Clarke was not able to see. That was the thing Lincoln talked about. Lexa went through a lot. He probably had talked about Costia's death. According to Lexa it happened 9 months ago, but Lexa did not seem to be over it at all. "What happened to her?" – "It was an accident. A car-accident." Lexa pursed her lips, wiped away a tear that appeared in the corner of her eye and stood up. "You should go to bed. You still look like you are not feeling good." – "Well, seems as if that makes two of us." Lexa lowered her gaze and said nothing in response, but Clarke thought, that Lexa was probably right… and maybe she just wanted to be alone now. But while leaving the room and after all the things that happened tonight, Clarke could not help herself but thinking about the prickling she felt on every part of her body that was touched by Lexa. What's going on here? Pull yourself together, Griffin. This is not one of these love-storys of the famous movie, where they find their love at first sight or something. That would be way too easy. Plus – Lexa was definitely still really hurt by the things that happened 9 months before and now that Clarke knew about it, she just felt more than sorry that she judged Lexa by her cold behavior before. Anyways…something about Lexa touched her. Deep down her soul. The feeling was welcome and appreciated by Clarke.
When Clarke got up on the next morning, she took a shower in the big bathroom upstairs, put some casual but good-looking clothes on and went downstairs to see if the others were already awake. She was surprised to see Anya, who already laid the table and opened the oven in the exact moment Clarke entered the room. "Morning, Clarke", she murmured, still busy. "Sit down, I'm nearly done with baking the rolls." In response, Clarke just smiled and accepted the invitation. It was a bit strange to be here just with Anya – the one she knew least – but neither Lincoln nor Lexa or the others seemed to be ready for breakfast. As if Anya read Clarke's mind, she finally turned around with the small basket of rolls and put them in the middle of the table. "Lincoln stayed at the Blake-house overnight, the others are already at the shore to use the sunny weather."
If Lexa was at the shore, too? "Lexa went jogging 30 minutes ago. I bet she just needed some time on her own", Anya added, looking directly at Clarke now. She was probably able to see how worried Clarke was after last night. "Don't worry, Clarke, she's strong. Lexa is just not that kind of girl who talks about feelings. Especially not when it comes to Costia." Clarke nodded again and bit her lip, thinking about everything that happened last night. To her surprise, she remembered it all. "Raven was not really friendly to Lexa when she found us yesterday and saw that I was a bit too drunk", she informed Anya and the other girl shook her head. "You probably really understate what she said, right? Well Clarke… I bet Lexa told you about Costia last night?" – "She did." – "I bet she didn't tell you, that Costia was Raven's older sister?" Anya put a slice of cheese on her roll while Clarke sighed. She finally started to understand the reason for Raven's behavior the night before. I should stop judging them without knowing their story, she thought and looked at Anya. "I didn't know that." – "That's why I'm telling you all this. I know that Raven usually doesn't act like that but she's still blaming Lexa for her sister's death, although that's nonsense." In the exact moment Anya wanted to tell Clarke what happened last July, Lexa entered the big kitchen, still in her sports outfit and out of breath.
"Welcome back, next Olympic champion", Anya commented with a cheeky and encouraging smile, "Come and join us. I made breakfast. You should mark this special day in your calendar, Lex." But (unfortunately) Lexa shook her head and went over to the stairs. "I'm not hungry and I definitely need a shower", she answered curtly and trotted upstairs without even looking at Clarke once. She definitely avoided eye-contact and Clarke was not sure, why.
Anya shrugged and sighed. "Told ya. That's just her. Let's clean-up for now and join the others at the shore, okay?" – "To be honest I'd like to wait for Lexa if you don't mind. I just…" Clarke tried to find the right words but she was not really able to explain why she wanted to talk to Lexa again. "As Lexa's best friend I'd say it's pointless, but if you really want to try your luck, go ahead, Griffin."
Lexa POV
She did not really feel like joining the others, but keeping out of Raven's way was not Lexa's style of dealing with problems either. She was hurt, yes, but no coward. Stand upright and just go. Actually Lexa felt like a coward right now. When she stood at the breakfast table she was not even able to look Clarke in the eyes, afraid to see something in there like compassion or sadness about her situation. Lexa did not want others to be compassionate, she just wanted to be left alone with this topic. Still deep in thoughts she went downstairs and was totally caught off guard when she saw Clarke still sitting there. "Clarke? I thought you were at the shore with the others." Her voice was emotionless again, at least she tried to sound like it was. But it became harder to pretend to be strong when she was with Clarke. It was a strange feeling, but Lexa could not help but feel a bit better when the blonde girl was around. "Anya joined the others an hour ago but I wanted to wait for you." – "Why?" – "I don't know. It just felt right, you know?" Lexa watched Clarke biting her lip again. She recognized this every time Clarke held back something she thought in that moment. "Well… thank you. But I honestly don't feel like joining the others right now. I just want to be left alone." The moment Lexa said that out loud she kinda regretted it already – Clarke's facial expression changed from hopeful to a more disappointed and sad expression. But typical for Clarke, she downplayed her own feelings and just said: "Okay then. I didn't mean to push you to something you don't want. If you want to be alone for now that's fine with me." The blonde turned around and was about to leave the room, when Lexa took a step forward and grabbed her arm, before she even noticed what she was doing. "Actually I was hoping you would join me." – Clarke's cute smile while she turned around melted Lexa's heart. "Isn't being alone about staying somewhere on your own and not with a friend?", Clarke chuckled, "But you know what? I'm in. Let's be alone together, Lexa Woods."
