Clarke POV

Damn it. Without even thinking about it twice, she turned around and ran after Lexa. She recognized that Anya started to run, too, but was hold back by Lincoln. ("You caused enough trouble for one day, Anya, let Clarke go after her!") While Octavia followed Raven who went inside the house, still in tears, Clarke took a deep breath. All this went so wrong. Now that Lexa finally was happy for one second. … Now that we found each other… But Clarke had the feeling that she already knew where Lexa was. And she was right. Just like the commander Lexa was once and in another life, she liked the idea of freedom. And where else could she find it than near a horse?
Clarke slowly went down the shore and entered the small and more greenish area at the end of it. This must be the farm Octavia told her about a while ago.
Not only Lexa was into horses, Octavia was, too, and the two of them used to spend a lot of time here. At least that was what Octavia told Clarke. Thank god she told me that, Clarke added in mind and passed the entrance of the farm's property. It was really empty, but somehow homey. Searching for any sign of Lexa, Clarke padded over to the big meadows.

"Can I help you with something?" – Clarke turned around and saw none other than… Indra. In this life she was of course not one of her commander's best fighters but probably the owner of the stable or something? Clarke couldn't help herself but smile a bit, although the situation was more than urgent. "Actually I think you can. I am searching for Lexa. I thought maybe I could find her here?" – "You must be Clarke then. I am Indra." – Surprised by the fact, that Indra knew her name, Clarke nodded and the older woman said: "Lexa is here but she asked me to let nobody find her." Clarke dropped her gaze and bit her tongue. No surprise… Lexa probably did not want to see anyone right now. She was hurt. And of course Lexa had her own style of dealing with sadness.
"Nobody except for a 'blond girl called Clarke'", Indra finally added and made Clarke look up again. Now it was Indra whose facial expression softened a bit. It was more than obvious, that Indra cared about Lexa as if she was her daughter or something similar. Nearly the same like before when they were the commander and a close confidant. Indra had always been the one who protected Lexa and fulfilled her needs. That did not change. "You will find her on the other side of the meadows, with her horse. Whenever Lexa needs some time for herself, she spends a lot of time there." Clarke nodded and let her gaze wander over the big meadow on the left. "Thank you, Indra. Thank you for everything." It felt right to just say that. Indra was there for Lexa when Clarke was not and it was just good to know that there were other people who cared so much about Lexa. Clarke set out for Lexa's private place on the other side of the big grass field and did not hear the quiet whisper of the dark-skinned woman. "Take care, Wanheda."

Lexa POV

"There you are." Lexa did not turn around when she heard Clarke's relieved voice, but Honey – her middle-sized reddish-colored horse – raised her head and strained her ear's, looking in the direction of the blonde girl who slowly walked over. "And I see you have a companion here. Hello there, pretty girl." Honey snuffled at Clarke's hand for a second and went back to her favorite thing – grazing. Now that Clarke was here and she could listen to the familiar voice, Lexa felt a weight dropping off her mind . When the blonde girl eventually sat down next to her and pulled her closer, she let out a deep breath. "I'm glad you came", she heard herself saying and she swallowed right after that. It was again a sentence she had used in a completely different situation. Right before the fight with Roan… This was more than confusing… Clarke touched Lexa's face carefully with her hand and pressed her chin gently upwards, so that Lexa had to look Clarke in the eyes. She felt so vulnerable, but with Clarke it was not a weakness anymore. Just like Lexa, Clarke probably recognized that this was a quote from their shared past. "Me too", the blonde answered and pulled her closer into another hug. "I'm sorry I ran away." – "What Raven said… it isn't true, Lexa." – "You don't know the whole story, Clarke. Raven is right. It was my fault that Costia died. Again. It was my fault in my last life as the commander of the 13 clans and it is my fault here again, although I'm not that little grounder-girl anymore." All these feelings that were locked inside Lexa's heart for years finally found their way outside and while Clarke put her arms around Lexa's body, she herself rested her head on the crook of the blonde girl's neck. Until now she did not realize it, but now that Clarke held her so tight, she shivered in an uncontrollable way.

"Tell me what happened that night." The invitation to finally talk about everything came unprepared. But this was Clarke. Her Clarke. She could trust Clarke with everything. Lexa's green eyes focused on Honey, the peaceful image of her dear horse grazing without any worries. … "It was a night like last night. We were all together at the shore and Costia, Octavia, Bellamy, Harper and I had so much fun with this new drinking game we found. It wasn't long before we were all completely drunk. The others helped us going back into the house when we finally had enough and we all went to bed at first." Clarke listened closely to Lexa's words and nodded, inviting Lexa with her eyes to go on talking. "Costia was a wild spirit. Always untamable…It was a beautiful night with a full moon and bright stars. She decided that we should go outside one more time, just the two of us, to watch the beautiful sky and maybe the sunrise later. I agreed with her…So we went down to the shore and did what she suggested." Lexa's green eyes were absent, obscured while her thoughts and memories went back to the day she lost Costia. "I was barely in control of my senses when Costia told me to get into that car. She wanted this night to be the most special one I've ever had. We were so in love, Clarke, I trusted her with my life. I just did what she said. I got into the car and we drove away… everything was alright… until… until that deer appeared out of nowhere. In front of the passenger side. Costia tried to avoid the crash and we crashed into a tree instead." Lexa's eyes were open wide now, totally absent and her fingers clung on the only thing that was there – Clarke's hand.

Clarke POV

Clarke started to comfort Lexa by gently stroking her back with her free hand. That blurred gaze of Lexa worried her, but she kept quiet. Lexa should finally get the chance to get rid of all the thoughts and feelings she had about that night. "I was stuck between the left parts of the car and all I felt was pain…fear. Costia screamed in pain, I couldn't do anything, Clarke. I couldn't move…When we finally got help it was too late for her. People helped us get out of the car wreck but she died before the ambulance arrived. She died in my arms. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have agreed with her idea, I shouldn't…" Lexa started to cry her heart out and all Clarke could do was to hold her, whisper that everything was going to be fine. "Everywhere I go, death follows. If only I had known before who I really am. I would have never dated Costia. I would have let her live her life", Lexa sobbed. It broke Clarke's heart to see her like that. The pain inside her stomach grew more and more.

"Shhhh…Lexa…It is not your fault. Remember what you told me a long time ago? You can't change her fate. It was not your fault." – "But Raven…" – "No. Raven just needs to blame somebody for everything that happened to her..her sister. It was Costia who drove the car. You were drunk yourself… you could have died, too. But you survived. It is not your fault that Costia didn't. It was an accident. I bet Costia would say the same if she was here." Clarke looked at Lexa's face and gently wiped away the tears with her hand. Lexa looked up to Clarke, got lost in her eyes again. Their eyes locked immediately. "Can we…talk about something else?", Lexa asked quietly. – "We don't have to talk at all." Leaning towards Lexa's face, Clarke felt how deep the feelings she had for Lexa really were. She never had experienced something like this before. Lexa brought out the best in her… and here – far away from their past lives – she had nothing more to fear. Lexa placed her hands on Clarke's cheeks and their lips found their way to each other, right in the moment the sun set and bathed the grass field in a beautiful, rosy light.