I felt like adding a chapter with some more feelings between Clarke and Lexa. They need and deserve the love they have for each other... :)
Clarke POV
"Clarke? I'm worried." The blonde turned around and pointed on the free place next to her on the bed. Octavia followed the invitation and sat down next to her. "We all are", Clarke then answered. "That's not what I meant. I mean… our past lives, the 'City of Light'…all that. It is worrying. But I didn't actually talk about that. I talked about Raven. She is one of my best friends. I don't want her to be involved in things like that." Hearing Raven's name let the lump in Clarke's throat appear again. Since they met Costia the night before, Raven did not come home. Clarke stayed with Lexa and Clarke – as well as Octavia – tried to call Raven a hundred times. She neither picked up the phone nor called back. "What if this A.L.I.E. thing you and Lexa talked about is really the villain here? What if she is already… I don't know… torturing her? We don't even know what she wants. What if A.L.I.E. uses Costia to make Raven help her? Raven is intelligent but damn loyal to her family. I bet A.L.I.E. would want somebody like her." Wow. It should not surprise me anymore, but Octavia knows exactly how things like that work, Clarke thought and sighed before she bit her lip again. Unlike Octavia who was worried about possible scenarios, Clarke was more than sure that A.L.I.E. was the one behind the strains; and that she tried to convince Raven to be on her side already. "I don't like the idea of Raven being in A.L.I.E.'s hands either. Trust me. And I hate to sit here and do nothing but wait for Raven to come back but what else can we do right now? We don't know anything about Costia's or A.L.I.E.'s – or whoever he or her is – intentions and plans. We actually do have nothing right now. Not even the answer to our biggest question. Why are we here? Why were we reborn? …Or whatever you wanna call it. Why?" Why did we get a second chance? Why did I get Lexa back just to be back in the same situation? I can't lose her again. I just can't. One thought chased the other. Her head was such a mess right now.
"Clarke, stop. You need to rest. Your face is as white as snow. We need you with all the strength you have. …You didn't sleep that well lately, did you?" Octavia's facial expression changed from alarmed to really worried within a second. "I'm gonna get you a glass of water or something, okay?" Now that Octavia mentioned it, Clarke really felt tired and most of the time even dizzy lately, but she always thought it was because of the many things she had in her head. Starting with her former life and ending with her worries about what will happen next. Plus her huge worry when it came to Lexa. Is our time limited? Will I lose her again? The blonde felt a cold shiver running down her spine. But what if it was more than just the mess in her head? Calm down, Griffin. It was easier to say it than to actually do it… Clarke changed her position on Lexa's big bed and let herself sink back into the pillows. "Don't worry, I'm fine, Octavia", she finally answered but Octavia shook her head and before Clarke could protest again, Lexa entered the room. "She's right. You look tired, Clarke." – "I see you are in the best hands", Octavia said and went over to the door. "I will try to call Raven again", she said and closed the door behind her.
Clarke closed her eyes and felt the slight movement of the mattress the moment Lexa got into the bed and laid down next to her. Lexa did not say anything else, but Clarke knew that she watched her closely. She could also imagine the exact facial expression Lexa probably had. Her green bright eyes a bit narrowed, worried, and her beautiful lips thoughtfully pressed together – but just a little bit – while her eyebrows were probably knitted together. "Don't say anything, Lexa. I am fine. You guys are overreacting. I'll get a cold or something but that's nothing to worry about." Lexa stayed quiet and after a while Clarke opened her eyes to see the exact facial expression she imagined in her head before. „I know that you don't want to hear it but… as always you're driven to fix everything for everyone. But you can't do this alone. We need each other, Clarke. We fight together, that did not change. So listen to me whenever I tell you to rest. You can't take all the worries and everything else if you can't get enough sleep." Lexa's facial expression and her soft voice made Clarke shiver when she pulled Lexa closer to her and rested her head on Lexa's chest while the other one leaned herself against the wall. Still shivering she embraced Lexa's body with her arms. "I can't fall asleep 'cause I'm afraid you won't be there when I wake up. I'm afraid that it was only just a dream to have you back", she whimpered quietly. More unwillingly her hand moved over the part of Lexa's body were the wound of the bullet used to be in their former life. Her hand shivered even more than the rest of her body when she carefully pulled up Lexa's shirt and saw the small beauty mark, which had the exact form and height of a bullet-wound. With her fingers she traced the invisible lines of the beauty mark and swallowed hard. Lexa placed her hand over Clarke's and began gently to touch the blonde's face and hair with her free hand. "I'm not planning to leave you again. I might not be able to change my fate but I will always be with you. I will do everything to make that happen."
Lexa POV
Lexa saw Clarke's cheeks quiver with the threat of tears, but before that could happen, Lexa's grip loosened and she kissed Clarke's lips. While she did that, she breathed in, filled her lungs with the smell of Clarke. The warmth was back. It truly felt like the only thing that was able to make her breathe and live at all. She reached for Clarke's hair once more and curled it around her fingers while her kisses became more passionate. Now that she kissed her again, she recognized how much she had missed Clarke. Her warmth, her scent, her touch and the feeling she caused whenever her lips touched Clarke's. Like a summer breeze that gently touched her lips. With a small but sure movement the blonde pressed her hips against Lexa's, but the brunette slowly ended the kiss and shook her head. "Clarke", she sighed within the kisses Clarke still placed on her lips, "You really need to rest", she murmured and shook her head. It was hard not to give in to the lust but Clarke's already half closed tired eyes and her irregular breathing were both definitely no sign of health this time. She saw how Clarke pressed her lips together, kinda disappointed, but Lexa could not let that happen right now. "I don't need to rest. I need you. Now. Lexa please…" Clarke's blue eyes made Lexa overthink everything for one second but even if Clarke begged her like that, she would never risk Clarke's health.
The hands of the blonde clung to Lexa's small shirt as she pulled herself closer, placing her upper body a bit on Lexa's. She curled her lips and bit them – concentrated – and Lexa knew immediately, that she would try to persuade her. "Nou get yu daun, Heda", Clarke whispered and her blue eyes sparkled confidently. When Lexa shook her head one more time and answered "But I am worried about you and I won't let that happen right now", Clarke moved away from her and rolled over to the other side to turn her back on Lexa. "Fine", she muttered in a huff, but Lexa gently pressed her chest against Clarke's back and wrapped her arm around the other one's waist. Clarke's body relaxed under the warm embrace. Lexa smiled and nudged her nose against Clarke's neck before she leaned over and gave Clarke a soft kiss on the cheek. She knew that Clarke was not really angry. Clarke always understood her actions. "Reshop, Lexa", Clarke finally mumbled and Lexa felt how the blonde's breathing became calmer when she entangled their fingers. "Good night, Clarke", she whispered back, but Clarke was already asleep.
