AN: So sorry it has been so long since I have updated. I am not sure if I mentioned this on this story or one of my other ones (I know I have three concurrent features at once...yikes) but I am a full time basketball coach, thus things are crazy busy this time of year. Just wanted to give y'all a quick update, so you know I haven't forgotten about this story. Next update will be on When We Were Young!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Glee or any copyrighted material referenced in this fic. As always, I am unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine!
Santana's POV
The weekend flies by according to the rest of the group, but in your mind in crawled. The feeling of kissing Brittany elated you and made you feel like things were okay, but her untimely rejections tore your heart out. You try to try out a smile for rehearsal and lead the team. Marley was really killing her solo on Crocodile Rock, and you actually felt like the Troubletones were putting together their most cohesive piece. Monday night rolls around and Mercedes calls the end to your final run through;
"All right, ladies! That is a wrap." The diva beams at her teammates, "Don't forget, we need to get into make up and costume early tomorrow because we are on first. Make sure you double check the video montage they made of us and confirm with the runner that it is fine. Santana and Dani, you guys have an instrumental sound check at 2:30," Mercedes was reading a list off her to make sure she didn't miss any of the important details, "Other than that, we are good to go! San, you good finishing the touches on your producers song for tomorrow?" You nod your head and the other girls begin to work their way out of the rooms.
The producers had announce that because there are only 5 teams left, other times were going to be filled with original musical numbers performed by a member of each group. The producers were lucky that this year there were so many groups that had talented members that wrote their own songs. The Troubletones automatically deferred to you because of your stacks and stacks of songbooks. The producer's need to fill time and you would take any opportunity to showcase the Troubletones more. Sure the producers claim that these performances will have nothing to do with the results, but everyone knows that the audience could be easily swayed. However, the voters aren't your target audience, you really hope someone else is swayed by your performance.
You decide to stick around and finalize your performance piece, you quickly check your cell and see an unexpected text.
Brittany: Hi T! R u still rehearsing? Text me when ur done, k?
You feel your heart rate pick up, you haven't heard from Brittany since Friday evening, but the blonde has not left your mind. Seeing her adorable way of texting makes your heart smile. You always wonder why she leaves out letters when she has a full keyboard to use. Seeing her call you T made your stomach tighten. You quickly type a response, put your phone away and try to concentrate on perfecting your song.
Santana: Hey B, the TTs just left. I am working on my producer's piece. In studio 6. Doors open…
You doubt anything will come of the text exchange, but you have a small smile on your face after putting your phone away. You walk over to the guitar selection in the corner, before picking a particular acoustic that you and Dani had been working with throughout the competition. You have always been drawn to the piano as a musician because of its versatility, but you have been pushing yourself to become more-well rounded and multi-faceted musician. You plug the guitar into a small amplifier before connecting our own headphones. You've discovered that being able to isolate the sound of the guitar allows you to feel more connected and sure of your finger placement and plucking. Eliminating all the other sounds allows you to get lost in the feel of the music.
You begin playing your song and humming the melody, stopping every once in a while to start again, to make a note in your book or to work on a certain chord progression. The words weren't the hard part, you had plenty of words and choruses swimming through your mind at all times. This particularly song had manifested itself just this past weekend. You found your best songs came to you quickly and quietly. One morning you were in the shower, and a particular phrase zipped through your brain. You hopped out of the shower, forgoing a towel, and ran into your room to start writing. A very shocked Quinn found you sitting, buck naked on the floor of your room feverishly scribbling in your book.
So it wasn't the words you wanted to perfect, it was being able to concentrate on the words without worrying about your hands. With piano, it was second nature, but guitar was a new beast to you. It had to be perfect, you had to be perfect. It had to be perfect for her.
You're so wrapped up in playing, fixing, organizing and perfecting that you didn't hear the door to the practice room open up. Your eyes were closed as you went through the bridge another time, so you didn't notice the blonde standing against the mirrors just watching you play. You open your eyes to make a note about an entrance, you shift to grab your water sitting next to your chair and you are startled by the other person standing in the room.
"Sorry" she giggles lightly, "I didn't mean to scare you, I just didn't want to interrupt, you seemed pretty focused." Her blue eyes shine at you, blue eyes that you've missed. Fuck. It hasn't even been a week. But a week without Brittany felt like a freaking life time.
You blush, "Um, no, it's okay" you say quietly, "You know me. I can get pretty lost sometimes…"
She smiles lightly, pushes off against the wall and makes her way over to you. Her long fingers reach out and slowly touch the guitar in your hands, "I didn't know you could play."
"Just started learning this year" you remark quickly, "I trade Dani piano lessons for guitar lessons."
She nods, "I am sure it sounds amazing. It's for tomorrow night?"
Your eyes meet hers and you slightly nod your head. You take the guitar in your hands and put it back in it's resting stand before running your hands nervously over your thighs. You look back at Brittany, "How are you?" You cringe at how nervous you sound
"I am okay. Rehearsals just finished. Product is good. I think I am pretty good at this leadership thing." Even though you know she doesn't mean anything by her words they really sting.
"Britt, I…"
"No, sorry. That was really uncalled for." She closes her eyes and shakes her head, "I just don't know what to say, Santana."
"You never call me, Santana" you say lowly.
The blonde sighs, "I miss you so much, Tana. It's been what 5 days, and I feel like a shell of myself. That fucking scares me. We get into one fight and then it feels like we are fighting a war. I hate being away from you, but being near you hurts a little bit too."
Tears prick at your eyes, "Britt, I was an idiot, but please, please, please you need to believe me when I tell you how sorry I am. I was in such a weak moment, and so afraid of losing you. These past days have sucked and we were still in the same place, I can't imagine not being with you. Please." Without thinking you reach forward and grab her hands.
Sparks. Just like the first time you grabbed her hand all those months ago. You know she feels it. You take a deep breath, "I will do whatever it takes for you to forgive me, baby. I was such an asshole, but when I get scared I get confused and say things I don't mean." You know nothing you say is making her feel any better; you feel like you are losing her.
She slowly leans into you and places a very soft kiss on your forehead, and then pulls you into her arms. You sigh and relax into her embrace. Brittany's arms tighten around your waist, as you latch onto her neck and nuzzle into her shoulder. Your senses are completely over taken. Her touch, her smell, her presences washes over you and you feel an overwhelming serenity take over your being. You have never felt safer.
Brittany hums in your ear and presses feather-light kisses across your hairline and you return her love with soft kisses across her exposed collarbone. Soon, you just revel in the feeling of her heartbeat against yours, dancing in the same rhythm. After what could have been thirty seconds or what could have been thirty minutes, you hear Brittany sigh and slowly pull away from you.
"I should go" she whispers, "Make sure the team is ready to go for tomorrow and all."
"Okay" your voice cracks as tears once again threaten to pour. You disentangle your arms from around her neck and take a step back. You watch as she walks over to pick up her dance bag from the wall. Your arms immediately wrap themselves around your middle. It is hard for you to not think she is walking away from you permanently. You try to force that thought from you mind.
After she picks up her bag, she turns to face you again, "I will see you at the show, okay? Good luck, Tana."
You give her a watery smile and barely choke out, "You too, Bumble."
Brittany makes her way out of the room, and you turn back to the guitar section and go to pick up the instrument before cursing yourself. You grab your bag and run out of the room chasing after the girl. You make your way through the hall and dash up the stairs hoping to catch the blonde. Your feet carry you to the main foyer and out the door where you see the blonde making her way up the road towards the town houses.
"Brittany!" You shout. The blonde turns at the sound of your voice, "Hold up a second." You jog to catch up with her. You take a deep breath, "Look, I know things aren't great right now, but um tomorrow, I'll be singing for you. I just thought you should know that."
The blonde nods at you and looks to say something but you cut her off, "Also, I love you. I thought you should know that, too."
A grin cracks Brittany's porcelain face, "I love you too, Tana."
"Good, well, um since we are heading in the same direction, can I at least walk you home?" You ask shyly. The blonde doesn't answer, instead she just links her pinky with yours and makes her way towards the townhouses.
Things might just be looking up.
Brittany's POV
You find yourself alone at the kitchen table of the townhouse after wrapping up your meeting with the rest of the New Directions. In your heart of hearts, you felt like the week with you in charge had gone really well. Artie and Rachel were killing the vocals of the mash-up, and you feel like you and Mike had never formed a stronger team. Everyone seemed to be bringing their A-game and really meshing as a team. Did you have the same depth and diversity of talent as the other 4 teams left, maybe not, maybe not when put on paper against The Warblers and The Troubletones, but you New Directions certainly had the passion and spirit.
Your staring at the half empty glass of wine in front of you. The team had made it a rule that one drink before the night of competition was totally acceptable to take the edge off, and right now your edge was super on. Does that even make sense? Anyways, you worked so hard all week to distract yourself from Santana, when in reality all you wanted was Santana. Spending time with her today was so amazing and also so confusing and also really scary. What would it be like when you two weren't in the same place anymore? What was going to happen when she was off having a big recording career in LA and you were still in school. Because, c'mon your girl was talented (yes she was still your girl). You knew that The Troubletones could leave tomorrow and Santana would still be offered a recording contract. As you get lost in your thoughts, you don't noticed that Rachel has taken a seat next to you.
"Brittany? Brittany" You notice a hand waving in front of your face and you check back into reality.
"Rachel, what's up?" You focus on the smaller girl sitting next you.
"Well, I just came down here to let you know that I have a great deal of respect for everything you did this week. While at first I was bit taken aback that the team wasn't responding to my leadership, and felt that I wasn't what was best for our ultimate success, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with how well you did. Though I may have chosen different songs, I think you showed that you aren't just a dancer and that you have some really wonderful ideas and some decent leadership qualities. Obviously, the strongest choice you made was placing me in the lead, but again that would have been just foolish if you hadn't."
Before the brunette gets her second wind you cut her off, "Thanks, Rachel. I think…" Her rambling was a lot to take in and you're pretty sure she complimented herself more than she complimented you.
"Right, well, you're welcome. Anyways, Finn and I are going to go watch Singin' in the Rain in the media room. We enjoy to be influenced and inspired by the greats who came before us the night before a competition show." You roll your eyes. You doubt Finn is inspired by anything. "We have already watched Grease, White Christmas, West Side Story and Les Miz. Finn really struggled to follow the plot line of Les Miz – he was really distracted by Anne Hathways hair cut, but all in all I think it has been a successful practice. Would you care to join us?" She asks earnestly.
"Gee, Rachel, that sounds great. But I am really not in the mood for a musical tonight" you give her a fleeting smile and then look back down at your glass of wine.
Rachel nods and then lingers at the table looking like she wants to say something.
"What, Rachel?" You ask exasperated.
"Is everything okay with you and Santana?" You give her a glare. She quickly amends her question, "I know it's none of my business, and I know at the beginning of your relationship I was less than supportive, but you've been missing the light in your eyes this past week."
You sigh, you forgot that underneath her unbearable veneer, Rachel is actually a pretty good person and pretty fierce friend.
"Um, we had a rough week" you respond. You give her a reader's digest version of what happened with you and Santana, without giving her any more fodder to continue the conversation. In all honesty, you are hoping she just leaves you alone.
After you finish talking, she just nods her head and replies, "Interesting."
"Interesting? That's all you have to say" you ask shocked.
"I don't know. I guess that only part of Santana I know is her competitive part. It has been made clear since the beginning of this competition that all she wants to do is win and win big. She has also made it clear that she has the talent, ambition and foresight to win this competition. I mean, even I can admit that the Troubletones are all but amazing. I think it's really shocking that she offered her help and expertise. Even I would want Santana Lopez' advice. She is one of the most watched Youtubers of all time. For her to offer help must mean that she really cares about you. She might care about you more than she cares about winning." Rachel finishes.
Before you have a chance to respond, Finn walks into the kitchen holding a DVD case. Rachel gives you a quick goodbye and heads out.
You are sitting in the green room watching the Warbler's perform a mash-up of Justin Bieber's "What Do U Mean" and "Sorry". As you watch with the rest of the New Directions, you can't help but to think that the routine and performance was really safe and expected. There is nothing complex about the Mash-Up, in fact you think that any dime a dozen could have worked through it. You are feeling really good about your chances, especially after the judge's remarks of your own performance, not only had you received a standing ovation, but all the judges loved the performance.
"New Directions – this is what we need week in and week out from you. This is using your strengths to your advantage. The group work and collaboration makes you special. Kudos to whoever took charge this week. Well done." The fourths judge's words echo through your head as you continue to watch The Warblers. The only team that was giving you guys any competition was of course the Troubletones.
Once again, Santana and her girls blew the standard out of the water and took the theme into another stratosphere. The green room was silent to begin the show, The Troubletones opened and everyone was waiting for the standard to be set. The stage opened with Santana sitting at a piano and the rest of the stage block, then the lights came up to showcase Marley standing on the piano and she opened her voice to the opening chords of Crocodile Rock and the rest was history. When Santana ripped the mic out of her stand and took the stage in her wedge sneakers and slayed the Macklemore verse in "Can't Hold Us" you couldn't help but smile. The judges were blown away and you could tell the audience wouldn't forgerthat performance.
Artie wheels up to you and puts a soft hand on your knee, "You killed it tonight, Britt. Well, we killed it. But you lead us to it. You were really amazing all week. Thank you for believing in us." You smile at your friend and you see Sam walk back in with his guitar slung across his back. Sam was chosen by the group to do the producer's song. He pulls a chair up next to you.
"Santana's up next" Sam states matter-of-factly. You meet his blue eyes and both boys slowly reach out grab your hands. You had confided in the two of them the previous night about Santana opening up and telling you the song she wrote was about you. They were also privy to the other song she had written about you. In fact, Santana told you that a majority of the songs she wrote now-a-days were about you or about the two of you together.
You found yourself really struggling to break away from the Rachel's words from the kitchen. She was right, Santana was not one to give anyone a leg up on her or her Troubletones. All she had ever wanted was to win this competition. That was her ultimate dream. Her dream. That reminds you of a conversation from the previous week. Santana mentioned something about her tattoos having more in common that she expected. Her tattoos. Dream and True Love. What could those have to do with each other? Wait, are you Santana's dream now? Is your love her dream? Is that what she wants to accomplish? As you try to grapple with these questions, you are pulled back by the host's voice calling Santana out to the stage to close the show. A lot of groups were upset that the Troubletones were opening and closing the show, but the producer's songs were pulled out of a hat in front of anyone.
Santana walks out holding a guitar. The crowd is chanting her name and she gives them a bright smile and big wave. Santana is really the biggest thing that has graced this stage. She is dressed simply in wine colored skinny jeans, a simple black tank top, paired black booties with fringe and her hair down in her natural curls. She takes a sit in an unassuming chair and pulls the mic closer to her.
"Hi, first of all, I want to thank the producers for giving a chance to showcase our own music. I think that's really cool." She gives the crowd her million dollar smirk and they go wild, "Before I start, I just wanted to dedicate this song to a very special person in my life, without whom I would still be a lost, little girl with no focus and no dream. Without this person I wouldn't be who I am right now." Santana settles the guitar thigh, takes a deep breath and starts playing. The song has a definitively country sound, which is surprising. Soon, as it always does, her voice overtakes you.
I'm afraid to go up to the second floor
If you wanted to work it out, why did you lock the door?
I thought I was good at loving you
But our light went out when you wanted it to you
I wish you the best, I'm headed west
It's all I know to do
I will fall, I will fall if you come around
Just when I think my heart break has settled down
I will fall, I will fall if you come around
When we said goodbye it was forever
And I spent the past year piecing my life together
Just when I think I've let you go
Your songs playing on the radio
And just like that it rushes back every part of you
Tears are streaming down your face as you watch Santana. She looks so vulnerable, so alone and so small sitting on the big stage all alone. There she sits, telling you that if you need her to let you go she will, but she will always love you, and whenever you come back she will be waiting. You notice wetness on your girlfriend's cheeks when the camera zooms across her face and then onto her hands playing the guitar. You rip your hands out of Sam and Artie's grasp as you rush out of the room. Santana's voice can still be hear in the hallway and you can hear her song finishing up.
I will fall, I will fall if you come around
Just when I think my heart break has settled down
I will fall, I will fall if you come around
Just when you think my heart break has settled down
I will fall, I will fall if you come around
As you enter the backstage area you hear the crown going wild. You see the outline of Santana slowly making her way off stage. As soon as she put her guitar down you rush over and pull her into a bone crushing hug.
"I'm so sorry, Tana. I was such an idiot. You were just trying to help me, and I completely took it the wrong way." Santana quickly responds to your hug and runs her hands up and down your back. You pull away from her, so you can look into her large brown eyes, "I don't want you heart break to settle down, fuck I don't want your heart to break at all. I love you, Santana Lopez. I love you so much."
Santana beams back at you, "I love you, too, Brittany Pierce. So so so much. I hate fighting with you, please say we can be done fighting. Please?"
"No more fighting. Now, can we please go home. I haven't slept well all week and I am really exhausted."
"I am not surprised you're tired. You put together one of the most amazing mash-up performances I have ever seen!" You can't help but blush at your girlfriends words. You know she is being sincere. "Come on, baby." Santana reaches her hand out and you lace your fingers with hers. You think that no matter what happens tomorrow night, for right now you feel pretty okay.
AN: Would love to hear your thoughts! Should I continue with this story or focus on my other two?
