The gala was a much better affair after the dessert. Jack introduced Kim to his cousins and Alex slyly asked her if she worked at the coffeehouse. Carolyn wanted to know what Kim did for extra curriculars. They were obnoxious, clearly playing it up with inquisitive questions, but he didn't have to worry about Kim. She was smart and funny and parried them both easily. She explained that she volunteered, which was the reason for her presence at the gala in the first place. She also mentioned that she used to do Karate and gymnastics. Alex jokingly said that it made sense that he, Jack, would fall for a martial artist.

"I knew that one day a girl will dragon kick you untill you fall to your knees."

"Well, it wasn't a dragon kick, but I promised to hose him down once. Does it count?"

"What?" "Why?" Both Carol and Alex said at once.

Jack sighed in mock exasperation, "Kim was mad at Kai and me for making a scene."

"You threatened to hose down Kai as well?" Alex said in disbelief. "I think you are my favorite person right now."

"Well, he is not all bad." When all three cousins looked at her in disbelief, she hurried to explain, "Anyone can see it's an act. He uses that facade as a shield – the whole a strong offense is a good defense thing and no one gets close enough to touch his heart." She looked at Jack and he knew she meant him and his own aloofness.

"What's wrong with letting people touch your heart?" Carolyn asked, from where she was leaning against the column.

"Well, that depends on how bruised your heart is, doesn't it? No one likes having bruises fondled." Kim said and then winced.

"If he's hurting, why doesn't he just ask for help, instead of..." Jack waved a hand, clearly searching for polite enough words, finally settling on, "...acting like a jerk."

"Okay, first, because he's a guy. You're a guy. You're toughing through, strong and silent. Kai's way of coping is a little nastier than yours. And I imagine he's pretty tired of having what is wrong with you, you have everything you need thrown at him."

"Why do you care so much about Kai?" Jack could not control his own reactions. Anger, confusion, disbelief, guilt...

"Because..." She stopped talking and took a deep breath; walked over to him and laid her hand on his chest. "No one is that perfect a jerk without effort and no one puts that much effort in without cause. He's too good at the whole making you look away from the man behind the curtain thing. But..." Kim shrugged her shoulders a little. "You know him better. Maybe he is an unmitigated asshole with really good reading habits."

Carolyn's eyes flew to Kim in surprise. "Oh, you discuss books with him?"

"He threw a Tolstoy quote at me. I had to investigate if it was just an accident."

"And?"

"He is well read. His opinions are a bit of the anti-hero variety: jaded, skeptical and critical of emotions. But, he is not stupid and usually can back up his opinion with some analysis."

Jack would admit that he felt like he didn't know Kai at all, listening to Kim describe him. Had he really tried with Kai? He could see that Carolyn at least was equally preoccupied.

Alex broke the silence that descended in them. "I can see now how you got through to Jack..." She blushed and shrugged her shoulders and looked down, suddenly shy.

Her embarrassment was short lived, because there was a call by the emcee and the speeches began. Jack stood with Kim, her perfume of lavender like a cloud around them, and was grateful that she was willing to look behind the curtain with him.


Gala went much better than Kim thought it would.

She had to call in her reinforcement in the form of Grace and Milton to help her with the outfit. She texted them both, sending them the photo of the only decent go-out dress she had. It was dark green and had a pretty bottom. But it was too short because she wore it first when she was fifteen and she has grown since then. It was decided that the dress would not do, but Milton refashioned it into the skirt, adding the black lace overlay to make it longer and to hide the fact that the top Grace found was not a total match in color. It had the trendy off the shoulder neckline and her dad gave her the mother's pearl pendent to go with the whole thing. She felt like Cinderella and said as much to her fairy friends. The three of them had a lot of fun and Grace insisted on taking tons of pictures and even posting them.

The Chamber of Commerce rented space at the Seaford Tower and the whole place was decorated as winter wonderland. It was beautiful and Kim really felt like Cinderella. Steve was equally impressed and kept saying that he wished their charity got the money.

She eventually wondered off from Steve, who was hitting the appetizers that waiters carried around and champagne. While hunting for a drink, she ran into Kai, who was dressed nicely and apparently was here as part of the tradition.

"Every year, the Brewers are here to spread the money, smugness and superior attitude." Kai said with almost honest disdain. Whether it was for the guests or his own family, she was not sure.

"Ahhhh, and you, of course, must suffer rubbing elbows with the similarly minded snobs or revolting plebes. How very Onegin* of you." Kim was good for a repartee.

"I don't suffer. I find my own entertainment at places like this. The snobs can be relied upon to make elegant fools of themselves and plebes are always fun when discomposed and drunk." Kai's words were unkind, but he delivered them with an easy smile that spoke of good practice.

"Well, I intend to enjoy myself by eating these entirely unsatisfactory canapés and see if you would be the elegant fool yourself." Kim couldn't help herself to needle him back.

"I never..."

"That is because no one wants to interact with you. Talking to you is like drinking vinegar." She heard her Nana say that sometimes and she inadvertently let her Southern accent come through.

"Why are you here exactly? In your JCPenny dress and 'grownup' pearls. Did Jack bring you here?"

She only smiled sweetly at him. Nana would be proud.

"First off, respect the dress. It's practically bespoke. Second, I was invited. Third, I don't need a man to get me places. Fourth, snob like you should recognize an heirloom. Finally, I think your finishing classes were a waste of money."

He threw his head back and laughed, dropping his hand on her shoulder. Or at least attempting to do so. Kim barely moved, but a little rotation of her torso made sure his hand dropped without touching her.

"Not bad for an average girl...You really are much more interesting."

She nearly choked on the sip of her drink at this unexpected compliment. "I see, upgraded from a painfully average... Well, you are still a jerk, so there is that." She wasn't sure what to think of this guy at the moment and used an excuse of refilling her glass to escape him.

She went to find Steve and to think about Kai. She wondered about him now. He was a rude jerk, for sure, and had a warped attitude of winning at all costs... But there must have been a reason for this careful facade. She was pulled out of her contemplation by a sudden appearance of Jack. He looked as if he was mad to see her and she was worried that her surprise was unwelcome.

She didn't have to. Their interlude with ice cream and kissing was the best part of the evening. She was discovering that Jack was passionate and, by her estimation, not new to a more physical parts of relationships. She fretted a lot about it, her mind going to places like how many girls he'd been with and how she would measure up, giving her almost non existent experience. But she couldn't change anything about their pasts and just resolved to worry about it if and or when the time came.

His other two cousins were a dramatic departure from Kai and she was glad that Jack had more than one relative his age.

Their Fund received a modest donation and Steve nearly stumbled going to the front, no doubt because of too many ch champagne flutes, and Kim walked with him to receive the oversize check. Jack, Alex and Carolyn all clapped the hardest and when she got back to them, there was more of the light-hearted chatter and jokes.

There was one moment of tenseness, when Jack's parents joined them briefly. Kim was shocked when Jack's mom turned out to be one of her customers - Zoe - who liked classical music and cappuccinos. She got over the initial shock enough that the two of them managed a decent conversation. Jack's father did ask her after the initial introduction how was it that she knew his son. Her response that they were in the same school and that she was attending the gala as part of the charity invitees did not impress him too much, but he was polite, if a little formal. She gathered that Jack was emulating his father a lot when he tried to live up to those expectations, but was much like his mom when he was animated and talking about things he liked.

Jack drove her and Steve home and she could tell by his father's pursed lips that he did not quite approve. Still, appearances were important to Mr. Brewer and he let it go as a polite thing to do, seeing as Steve was not equipped to drive.


Driving to Kim's house he couldn't help but picture the last two times he'd been there. Last time he was here for the breakfast, a thin excuse to see her face, to be near her again. He was remembering the make out on the stairs. Jack could remember in precise detail how it felt to kiss her. If he thought it would work like a valve release pressure, it didn't. It fanned the flames and the sensation of her soft lips only fueled him more.

She was a vixen too, telling him about the rain check and he went back to the gala half-tempted to drag her back and press her soft body against his, wanting to lift her and press her against the cold column, wanting to know how she felt and what she looked like underneath her clothes.

He'd had to drag himself away from the vision of them together, but then his cousins were upon them teasing and friendly and the desire for her was boosted by the pleasure that his family liked her. It got worse though when she talked about Kai, drawing parallels between him and his cousin, and the lust he'd felt transformed immediately to possessive rage over the idea of his Kim even thinking of another man. Unable to stop himself he'd questioned her on that... that, if not sympathy, then some understanding of his prick of a cousin, realizing that his prided self-discipline was slipping. But then she came up to him, put her hand on his chest and it brought him back to reality, and the unfairness of his thoughts.

That had been hours ago. Then there was his mother, whom Kim recognized and chatted with easily and warmly. There was father, cold and imposing, but Kim was undaunted and refused to cower like he knew she would. It made the compulsion he felt for her only increase. And now he was driving her home, there was a rain check to collect, and Jack worried he wouldn't have enough mastery over his actions this time, especially since this time they would be alone

He saw Kim's apartment building and parked his car on the other side of the street. He took a few moments to center himself as he argued with his libido. Just a kiss goodnight, ok?

Her turned to her and saw her looking at him already with her beautiful eyes, that were so dark and mysterious now. He knew then that she was thinking along the same lines as he was in last ten minutes of the drive. When she reached out for him, he was reassured when he found her hands were as unsteady as his. The contact set his nerves alight, and he couldn't help but kiss her as she pulled him closer. Her touch lit a fire in his stomach and sent electricity running along his skin, but the most prevalent feeling was relief. It was as if there had been an itch under his skin and her touch was all that would soothe it.

Jack locked the doors as they fumbled over to central console, their kiss desperate, all hot lips, tongues and teeth, too focused on pressing their mouths together to coordinate their movements. Their lips kept parting for breath and every time they did Jack hated that brief moment of separation. Couldn't wait to stroke his tongue back inside her mouth and taste her, or suck her lip between his teeth to nibble on it.

Finally frustrated with the awkward position, he let go of the her lips. Kim let out a whine from the back of her throat, when he pulled away, but it died quickly when he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her over the console to put her in his lap. She half laughed, half moaned - I really should get used to that now - and dropped her mouth on him and spread hands through his hair, pulling out of the pony tail. He was as impatient as she was, eager to feel again the same sensation of his fingers touching the skin. Her skirt, already fairly short, rode up even more and he touching the cool and smooth skin. More, he wanted more. His fingers, guided by desire went north and he was filling her butt and, unable to go himself, he squeezed it hard. She whimpered and he pulled back from the kiss to see if he hurt her. She was looking at him with half-lidded eyes, her face shadowed and the light of the street lamp was highlighting her cheekbone, tip of the nose and half of her mouth that looked swollen and red. He did that. Desire ran rampant through him and he was holding off, trembling with effort.

Quietly, slowly, as if they were in the weird calm - the eye of the storm - she run her index finger over his lip, leaving them hyper sensitized and then made that whimpering noise again and dropped her mouth to his.

The storm descended again and he pulled her to him tightly, one hand in her hair, the other snaked a under her top to clutch at her bare hip. So close and not enough. He wanted to feel her everywhere and he ran his hand down the length of her leg, discovering that she lost her shoe in the scuffle. Back up his hand went, this time circling more around her limb and when he was over the knee the tips of his fingers came closer to the center of her. That skin was not cool. It was hot and soft and he wanted more of it. She jerked a little in response to the movement and it brought her center right on top of his erection. Sweet torture. He couldn't resist pulling her closer just as he thrust up, like he wanted to do if they had no clothes on. His hardness rubbed up against her and he had to tear their lips apart to let out a groan.

Eyes opened and caught in one another's gaze, feeling suddenly bold in this charged intense moment, he ground his cock against her again, deliberate and slow this time. He could see the exact moment he hit the important part as Kim's eyes fell closed and she shuddered a little in his arms. It dragged the seam of his pants over his cock and the friction felt amazing. He wanted more of her. He got both hands on her hips now, pulling her into the roll of his hips, kissing her again. His whole body hummed and he felt his own heartbeat pound loudly in his ear, heart - trying to escape his chest. So, so good... More, please, more. He ground harder and harder as if trying to fuse them together. She tried to pull away as if to escape and he grabbed the back of her head and brought her back for a hard kiss, biting the lower, plumper, lip.

"God, I want you so much." His voice was low and husky, just as his hips continued to thrust up, and he felt her shivering in response.

"What do you do to me?" she was breathless. "I... I... never..." she trailed off and dropped her head in the crook of his neck and he froze at those words.

Idiot. What a horny idiot he was. Of course, Kim never had done things like that. She was probably running from school to hospital to home to work her entire high school career and here he was, rubbing one off with her in the car.

Shame sort of killed the mood, though not entirely. He sighed deeply and lifted her head to make her look at him.

"Kim, please, know that I would never pressure you into doing something you don't want. I... I realize that I may have been expecting things, but it is only because I am obviously greedy and you are very much a temptation. But... I care about you... We'll do what you are comfortable with, OK?"


Her dad was awake, as she knew he would be. Part of his grief handling included anxiety over Kim and he wanted to know where she was almost all the time. She didn't mind. Ideally, her dad would be in therapy or at least talking to a grief counselor. In reality, such services were a luxury and Kim and her dad dealt with it the old-fashioned way: relying on each other.

No, that was not entirely true. Kim had Jack and Julie.

She went to bed remembering the wonderful night filled with music, laughter, dancing, and some blush inducing things in the car. She did not think she would be able to enjoy this holiday again, and yet, here she was, surprisingly happy.

The next day was Christmas and Kim prepared a large breakfast in lieu of having the Christmas dinner. Dad declined all invitations and Kim did not want to leave him alone, even though Julie and Milton both invited her to join them. She was almost done when the door buzzer went off.

When she opened the door she was shocked to see Jack there with gifts wrapped in festive paper. She stared at him silent and he just smiled, "Surprise!" and went inside around her.

Her dad looked up from where he was sitting at the table with newspaper in front of him. "Jack? I did not know you guys had date today. Isn't it Christmas today?" Her dad looked at them both genuinely confused.

"It is. And Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Crawford. We did not have a date planned. But I wanted to stop by to drop off gifts and to wish you happy holidays."

"But your family... Jack... opening presents?" Kim was not sure what to think: she was happy to see him, but also questioned his choice at the moment.

"Already did that. My mom's Jewish. Dad is not into the whole Christmas thing anyway. We'll have dinner with family later on, but I have this time free right now."

"Oh... In that case, would you like to join us for brunch?" She said hardly able to contain her humongous smile.

"Yes. I would." His answering smile was just as big.

Jack left after spending quiet, but not sad, morning with her and her dad. He loved the food and managed to have an independent conversation with dad without resorting to the topics of school and family. It turned out that Jack played laser tag and her dad perked up a little, as it was one of his favorite past-time before mom's illness. After their brunch, they sat in the living room and Jack shyly gave her his gift. It was a new phone. Before she could protest, Jack quickly told her that it was really for the best, because she was had such a busy life and schedule that she simply must have a better phone than her old one that was prone to freezing and shutting down. She wanted to object, but her dad lent a surprising helping hand. His gift was to pay for her phone plan, because he got a Christmas bonus and 'really, Kim, what do I have to spend my money on?' She would have cried, but they were both right: her old phone was on it's last leg and she simply thanked them both.

Her own gift to Jack was decidedly less expensive. She wracked her brain for an appropriate gift for him, considering that he was significantly better off than her. She settled on a small at-home cappuccino and espresso maker. She added a gift certificate for the GreenBean to let him know that he was always welcome to bring his caffeine carvings to the coffee shop any time.


After quiet dinner, when her dad attempted to talk about this and that, he retreated into his quiet state that was borderline catatonic. She knew, of course what, was going on. The holiday, the dinner, the company, the stupid cobbler she made, all of those things reminded her dad of mom and better, happier days. She was worried and was proven right. She woke up to a faint sound of music and found her dad sitting in the living room of their crappy apartment re-watching home videos with mom in them and crying.

When she cautiously approached him, her looked at her and blurted in a teary rush, "Never settle for anything in your life, Kimmy bear. When the time comes and you would know: choose with your heart."

He went on to tell Kim about mom, her kindness, her gentleness. How he saw her for the first time, how natural was their attraction, like the pull of gravity. How their life together was complete happiness. And how precious was her ultimate gift to him, Kim herself. How he was always uncomfortable when she said she loved him, because he didn't feel like he deserve it. How she used to say it quietly, whisper into his ear, so that only he could hear it, from heart to heart. How she thought that casual, automatic i love yous were for people who really didn't feel it. He talked about the last day too. Kim wasn't there, because she was at school. Her dad was there and held mom's hand and she passed away with a smile after telling him for the last time, quietly, that she loved him.

Her dad choked and then looked straight at Kim, "I know I lost my love and I grieve. I miss her so much, but I don't regret any of it. It's better that I had this love, rather than not ever meeting her."

After that conversation, Kim took him to his bed and stayed awake the rest of night thinking about his words.

*Evgeniy Onegin by Aleksandr Pushkin is one of the better known works of poetry in Russian literature. Onegin was a deconstruction of the anti-hero archetype that was popularized by Oscar Wilde. Kim cites to that because of Kai's professed knowledge of Russian literature.