Bells and Tears
When I turned on the light, everything revived with open eyes. I was afraid. I closed my eyes. Repeated once, twice. It did not happen again.
A flash of bright white light, a speck of something- somethings- not bright or dark, but in between. Was it…colour? That, that had been white, but not white white-slightly darker, more a cream. And those greyish parts on the side, not very dark grey but almost transparent. That had been a shadow, yes! A shadow! I had seen a shadow! And since I was lying down it must have been a ceiling.
I had seen a ceiling! A ceiling! A CEILING! It may not have been much, but it was something. At last, something that I did not have to whistle to, or put my hand on. I could tell it was tangible; simply by having seen it!
Yet the blackness came back as quickly as the colour had come. Yet it was a glimpse. A once-in-a-century glimpse of what I could never have. It filled me with sadness, but also gladness: there was still a world out there. I was not floating in a black abyss after all. People were not mere creations of my mind from sheer loneliness, but actually living and breathing. The rest of Arda had not submitted to Dagor Dagorath, I was not a lone existing being.
Sight! My blessing and my curse. My way to know there was something, but to conceive my envy. My way to do all I could do, know all I could know, defined who I was, yet was also my downfall. For but once, possibly twice each century, I was blessed with but a millisecond of sight. Yet it kept me going. Stopped me from going crazy. Morgoth had failed in this one perspective. It may have been there to break me, but I turned it around.
The strange thing was, that this was the third time this century.
Maybe it was the stress. Possibly I had imagined it. But it was a beacon of hope. Of new things to come and of a changed world. So no longer afraid, I opened my eyes again.
"Darke," A soft voice trembled, "Darke, are you alright?" Soft skin brushed my hand, held it. I squeezed it back slightly. My throat was dry, my voice hoarse.
"Yes."
The voice, the hand, they were warm. Familiar. Filled with emotion. Legolas.
The one who I loved and who was always there. The one who loved me simply for who I was, not because I was a legend or a mystery, but because I was me and nothing else. And Legolas was Legolas. I did not deserve him. But I would not let him go. The question was, how was he?
"Are you alright?"
"Now that you're back."
"No injuries?"
"Frodo is wounded and sleeping, but it not on the brink of death."
I squeezed his hand gently, memorising every callous and fingerprint, basking in the simple idea of existence.
"That's good." A silence followed. "How is he? And Sam?"
"We are not sure. Neither have yet awoken."
"But they are alive and healthy?"
"As far as we can see."
I sighed. It was so hard to believe that it was over. It couldn't be, it was just-difficult. Difficult to believe that after all these thousands of years fighting off the darkness first created by Melkor, that it was gone. It would not come back. It could not come back. So as a result, despite the bubble of happiness rising within me, I did not show it for the shock was too great. The shock overwhelmed everything.
"I can't believe it." I half whispered half mouthed to myself. "I cannot believe it."
"Believe what?"
"That after all these years that it's gone. Sauron is gone, Melkor is gone. My entire life was created and built on helping stop the darkness Legolas- and now it is finally achieved, yet it feels like a dream."
"You are not the only one. But do not think of such matters right now, for things are finally going right in the world. And do not fear, for you certainly won't be the only one."
The words were simple, but they hit the right spot. I decided to forget thinking of the future and focus on now. And when I forgot everything- all worries, cares, thoughts of the past and predictions of the future, that happy bubble finally rose to the surface and burst.
I began to laugh and laugh whilst tears spilt from my eyes, watering my cheeks and coursing everywhere. Legolas spoke to me concerned. "Darke, are you alright? What is happening?" My laughter reached a new pitch, rising and falling but never stopping. My side stung and I began to control it a little, but it continued, as did the tears which I could now feel dripping off my face.
"Never better!" I replied to him. "Never better." And the laughter began to die down, like the ringing of bells and the once so foreign sound once again to feel warm and familiar.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! In true spirit of this time, I have updated. To all those who celebrate Christmas that is. For everyone else, happy holidays. Sorry that this is shorter than usual, this has been one crazy journey, with stalls everywhere; But fear not! For it shall be continued and edited. Just wait and see…
Please leave reviews, for they are yummy and delicious!
