AN: I know this chapter is ridiculously long. I was going on 19 pages and realized I HAD to break it up. I have Chapter 16 finished but want to get part of 17 written before I post. Enjoy!
Tara POV
It had been a few weeks since my odd conversation with Jax but things seemed better. I had talked with Opie and assured him we were good. I don't know that either one of us 100% believed the one another, but we' settled back into our normal rhythm and things were comfortable again.
Things with Adam had been going great. He'd been working a lot to help cover some bills at home, but he still made time to squeeze in a late night phone call or, on occasion, to sneak out to lay with me on the roof below my window. He hadn't been really thrilled about Jax cornering me about Opie (as he had called it) but after some coaxing, he had finally let it go.
Kris met me as I walked out of my 4th period to head to lunch.
"You ready for tonight?" she asked.
"I guess," I replied. I still didn't really see what the big deal was.
"Come on, Tara! It's Halloween! The one night a year we get to be whoever we want. Oh, don't roll your eyes at me," she chided.
"I guess I just don't get it. Are we not who we want to be every day, already?"
She rolled her eyes.
"It's not like a slut needs an excuse to dress slutty," I continued. "And it's not like a delinquent need an excuse to get into mischief."
"It's not about dressing slutty! It's about playing dress up. You use to love that shit when we were kids."
She had a point, but I still wasn't all that excited about it. Part of me knew the reason I'd loved it so much was because it was something I'd done with my mom. Trying on oversized hats and swimming in layers of costume pearls, it had kind of been our thing. Kris and I had continued the game after my mom died, but I think, as a kid, it had made me feel closer to my mom in her absence. Now that I was grown, it just amplified the loss.
Kris must've sensed where my head was at because she snapped her fingers in front of my face, breaking my trance.
"It'll be fun, Tara," she reassured me. "What are you gonna be?"
I shrugged. "Whatever I can put together from my closet. I think I have a cheap tiara lying around somewhere. Maybe I can make some wings."
"Ooooo!" Kris squealed. "I have a dress that would look amazeballs on you. You should be a princess!"
I looked at her skeptically. "I don't know that I'm really the princess type."
Kris' eyebrows cinched in aggravation. "Well, you can be Queen Bitch then. Whatever. Either way, I bet the dress will fit like a glove. I brought a whole bunch of stuff with me in case you decided to be difficult."
"Are you just coming home with me after school then?" I asked.
"Yep. Already told the kids they'd have to fend for themselves tonight. Hopefully they don't burn the house down or anything," she replied, only half joking.
"Did you make them outfits?"
"You know I did!" she replied proudly. "Mikey's gonna be a Ninja Turtle because, well obviously. Brittany's a witch, Ryan's gonna be Jim Carrey from The Mask and Joey's going to be Ace Ventura. I know they both HAD to be Jim Carrey characters" she added, rolling her eyes. "Sean's going to be the worst Power Ranger you've ever seen… seriously, do you know how hard it is to make a Power Ranger costume when a kid won't wear tights?" she asked rhetorically. "And Drew's going to be Aladdin."
"Awww, that's gonna be adorable. I kinda wish they were coming with us now!" I told her.
"Trust me, the last thing you want to do is chase those little monsters around all night."
"Seriously, you'd need to put some kind of tracking device on them. And even then I'm not sure that would work," I replied, shaking my head. Those kids sure were a handful. The lack of parental attention they received caused them to act truly bonkers to garner any sort of attention, good or bad. Kristina's word was the law with them and I had rarely seen them try to disobey her, but still. Looking after that many kids was definitely a full time job.
We stopped at the vending machines so Kris could grab some M&Ms while I opted for a bottle of water before making our way out to our usual spot in the picnic area. Surprisingly, we were the last to arrive.
Ryan spotted us first. "Are you ladies coming out with us to celebrate the dead?" he asked in what I guessed was supposed to be a spooky voice, given the zombie like arm movements he was making.
"Um, sure. If that's what you want to call it," I told him.
"You guys are dressing up, right?" Kris asked.
The guys all shared a look.
"We weren't really planning on it," said Adam.
Kris stuck her tongue out at them. "Well, you guys are no fun."
"I think I have a Jason mask somewhere," Ryan offered. "It might be fun to scare some little kids with."
"There will be NO scaring of little kids," I warned them. "That's mean!"
"Aw, Rocky. You're no fun," Ryan answered.
"Hey, she said no scaring the little kids… there are plenty of big kids we can still traumatize." Adam reassured him with a laugh.
"Are you gonna make it out?" Ryan asked him.
"Yeah, man. I wouldn't miss it. I work til 8 but it'll barely be dark then anyway. I might get out earlier since it'll probably be dead."
"So where are we meeting and when?" I asked, my inexplicable need to control every detail of life taking over.
They all looked at each other like it was the first time they'd even thought about it. Truth be told, it probably was.
"My house, whenever?" Jax suggested.
"Your house or TM?" I verified.
"My house," he confirmed. "TM will be insane tonight. Wouldn't want to offend you ladies' sensibilities," he added with a terrible southern drawl.
"TM doesn't offend my sensibilities," Kris rebuffed him.
"Oh really? Cuz the last time you were there I saw Tig talking to you and I thought you were gonna have a conniption," he told her.
She opened her mouth to disagree but closed it with a shrug. "Tig's a freak!" she rationalized.
"No one's gonna argue with that" Frankie piped up.
"So should I just meet you guys at your house or will you guys already be out?" Adam asked Jax. Their relationship could only be described as tenuous. There was an aloof respect wrapped in guarded mistrust… I couldn't help but feel like I was the rope in some twisted game of tug of war that I had not consented to play. For two guys whose confidence could be considered borderline cocky, it sure took a lot of energy on my part to make them both feel comfortable with their place in life.
"I don't know, man. If we aren't there, we'll still be in the neighborhood. Just call your girl. We'll be within walking distance wherever we are," Jax told him.
"We're gonna be walking?" Kris asked, not too thrilled to hear this.
"It's a tradition," Opie informed her. "Can't scare anyone if you're riding around in a cage. Haven't you ever been trick-or-treating before?"
"Aren't we a little old for trick-or-treating?" I asked.
"Not us, Rocky. Dammit. It's just tradition. For once, just don't argue!" Ryan instructed us. "I know it's hard," he added with a laugh.
"Alright, alright" I agreed with a laugh of my own. He knew me too well.
"Are you guys dressing up?" Adam asked, bringing us back to our original conversation. By the look on his face I could tell all sorts of skanky Halloween images were dancing in his head.
"Yeeeeeessssss." I laughed when his eyes opened even wider. "But don't get too excited, we're not French maids or bunnies or anything."
There was a collective groan of disappointment around the table and Kris threw some of her M&Ms at them.
"You guys are pigs."
Not one of them tried to deny it.
XOXOXOX
"I can't believe you got me to wear this," I grumbled as we walked the shortcut from my neighborhood to Jax'. I think Kris and I were practically the only ones who didn't live in Woodland Oaks or its neighboring Ashley Place.
Kris laughed. "You look gorge, I don't know what you're complaining about."
She had somehow gotten me into a silky, floor length, gun metal grey dress that did, as Kris had promised, fit me like a glove. She'd been sour when I'd opted for Converse instead of heels, but I had no idea what kind of shenanigans the guys might be getting into tonight. If past years were any indication, it would be hard enough hopping fences in a dress; I didn't want to risk breaking an ankle too.
"So is it going to be weird?" Kris asked.
I looked at her confused.
"You know, Jax and Adam?"
"No way. It's not weird," I assured her. "Jax and I are good. I think he finally got over the fact that I don't belong to him anymore. We're cool."
"And him and Adam?" she pressed, knowing that anyone with two brain cells picked up on the tension there.
I shrugged. "There's no stopping that bleeding. But I think they've found neutral ground… if for no other reason than they just don't really want to piss me off."
Kris shook her head. "Wonder how long that'll last."
I waved her off as we approached Jax's house.
It was a small, beige brick one story on one of the busiest streets in the neighborhood, Poplar Grove. They might as well have named it "Popular Grove" since a veritable who's who of Charming High lived on the street. I'm not talking well to do types with money. I mean the kids that everyone wanted to hang out with, the kids who were the life of every party; who were friendly and popular without having to buy their friends in town.
Opie lived a few streets over on Kline and Ryan on the very first street, Hollow Oak. Adam lived just a street over from Jax which had been convenient when they were kids, but now just compounded the awkwardness.
The short driveway led to a small, covered entryway filled with all kinds of potted plants Gemma tinkered with regularly. I knocked lightly on the door with Kris close behind me.
To my surprise, Gemma opened the door.
"Tara!" she greeted me warmly as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. The distinct smell of the Teller house wafted out to me. I could never quite explain the fragrance, more a state of being than a smell. Whatever it was, it always made me feel like I was somewhere I knew, somewhere I belonged.
"Hi Mrs. Teller," I replied with a smile. "You remember my friend, Kristina."
Gemma smiled at Kris. "Of course I do. You two have been joined at the hip since you could walk."
She turned, inviting us further into the house. I'd spent so much time there over the years I could've walked the layout with my eyes closed. Fish tank to the right, between the living room wall and the kitchen; the dining room and back door adjacent to the living room, Mr. and Mrs. Teller's room to the left of that at the back of the house. If you hung a left at the front door, you would come to a fork in the hallway; first Tommy's old bedroom on the left, then Jax', then a bathroom on the right. It was a simple house and Gemma had filled every inch of it while finding a way to make it feel cozy and inviting, not cluttered.
"I love your outfits, girls," she complimented us.
Kris had gone with a Pink Ladies look while I had opted for a Queen.
"You know what you need, Tara?" Mrs. Teller asked.
I raised my eyebrows. "Hmm?" I asked.
"Makeup!" she replied with a firm excitement that made my eye twitch with dread.
"I told her!" Kris complained. "But you know, Tara. She wasn't having any of that."
"Come her, baby. I've got the perfect eye shadow for you."
I held in the sigh that threatened to escape. Gemma didn't care about my disdain for heavy makeup. I knew after she'd had her way, I'd be easily mistaken for some sweet butt at the club house.
"Come on, then." She urged leading the way to her bedroom.
Fortunately Jax and Opie popped their heads out of his bedroom.
"I thought I heard something," Jax said. "What are you guys doing?" he asked as I shot him a look, pleading to save me.
He looked from me, to his mom and then back and forth again.
Gemma moved to gently cup his face in her hand. "I'm just going to doll Tara up a bit. It won't take long."
A loud laugh sprung from Opie's chest and Jax tried unsuccessfully to hold in his smirk. He looked directly at me, blue eyes twinkling.
"We'll be in here when you're done." He laughed, shutting his door behind him, denying me of any chance of rescue.
I gloomily followed Kris and Gemma to her makeup table and made myself comfortable. I had a feeling I was going to be there awhile.
XOXOXOX
Nearly an hour later, there was a knock on Gemma's bathroom door followed by Jax' curious voice.
"You ladies okay in here?" he asked.
About that time, Gemma spun the chair I was sitting in so I was facing her and the bathroom door.
"All done, baby" she told me. "You can come in!" she hollered at Jax.
Jax stepped into the studio sized bathroom and let out a low whistle when he saw me.
"That bad?" I asked, not sure what to think about the heavy eyeliner and evening eyeshadow (as Kris had called it) that had been painted on my face.
It took a second for him to recover. "No, not bad at all! Nice job, mom." He smiled, leaning over to give Gemma a kiss on the cheek.
I snorted a little. "You're a terrible liar," I told him.
He shook his head, stood behind me, pushed the chair back to face the mirror and leaned against the seatback.
"You look great," he whispered. "Don't be so self-conscious."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
He tugged at a strand of my hair. "This could use some work though," he added sarcastically.
A sense of panic rose in me when Gemma's eyes gleefully lit up and I bolted from the chair before she could get me in her grasp again.
"Thank you, Mrs. Teller. I really appreciate it. It's perfect for tonight," I lied sweetly. Truth be told, it didn't really look that bad, I just felt so different; so not like myself.
"Are you sure, honey? I can do a quick updo or something for you."
"No. Thank you." I said quickly. "You've already done too much. It looks great." I paused. "Really. Thank you," I added sincerely.
She gave me a quick embrace and gave Kris' cheek a quick pinch.
"You girls keep these boys out of trouble for me tonight, will you? They need someone to keep them in line."
Jax groaned. "We're big boys, mom. We'll be fine. No trouble. Cross my heart" he swore as he traced an X over his heart and shot her his trademark grin. Gemma couldn't see his fingers crossed tightly behind his back.
We followed him back to his bedroom and were greeted with a cloud of smoke and strobe lights.
"What the fuck? Are you guys throwing a rave in here or something?" I asked, waving uselessly at the smoke.
"Wrong music; no molly," Kris commented.
"Okay, well then what kind of weird shit is going on in here? It's a little weird right?" I asked turning to Kris. "Three guys smogging up a room in the dark with nothing but strobe lights?"
"Hey now, we've got metal," Ryan offered in rebuttal.
I rolled my eyes. "You guys at least have another joint for us?"
The words were barely out of my mouth before Jax was waving three fat jays in my face. I went to grab one and he yanked his hand back.
"I didn't hear a please," he taunted, looking at Ryan and Opie. "Did you guys hear a please?"
I gave him a light shove which caused him to stumble into the wall, bumping the stereo system on the shelf.
He joking let out an offended huff. "Shit, a 'please' and an' I'm sorry'."
I pressed my lips together in restraint. "Please," I paused. "And I'm sorry."
He handed me one of the joints.
"Don't you think we should do this outside?" I asked. Jax's parents were cool but I still didn't think they'd be all that cool with us stinking up the house .My dad may be a total drunk but his sense of smell hadn't dulled like the rest of his senses. I never smoked in the house for fear of the consequences.
"Shit, it just smells like cigarettes to them anyway," said Opie.
"Yeah, right!" Kris answered. "They smoke. They know the difference. Are you sure they don't care?"
"Calm down. Even if they did care, they'd never say anything with you here. The two of you have my mom eating out of the palm of your hand."
"If you say so. But we should still go outside. It's too early for all this strobe light nonsense," I reasoned. Something about the lighting sparked my illicit craving and I needed to get out of that room.
Jax looked at Opie and Ryan and shrugged. "Ladies choice," he said as he opened the door and motioned for us to go first.
We sat on plastic chairs on the back porch and I lit the joint, turning it side to side for an even burn. I took a deep drag, spinning it in my fingers to light the cherry evenly before passing it to Jax. He waved me off and pointed to Kris, gesturing to start the circle the other way.
"Ladies first." When I looked at him strangely he added, "You know, chivalry and shit."
Wordlessly, I passed it to Kris and sat quietly, admiring the flowers and ivy lacing their way through the lattice that protected the porch from the view of nosey neighbors.
"Don't you have to take piss tests for probation?" Ryan asked in between puffs, breaking my observation.
"Yeah but they just do it randomly. I've only had like two in the last six months," I told him.
"Still," he pressed. "They're random right? So how do you know when the next one's going to be? Aren't you worried about it? You smoke like a fucking chimney."
I didn't answer and he stared, awaiting a response.
"She doesn't want to tell you," Kris broke in.
"What? Why?" Ryan asked confused.
"Sounds like a story to me, Rocky. No way you're getting off the hook now," Opie informed me.
I looked to Jax who had been about to hand the joint back to me but was now holding it hostage, my answer as ransom.
I sighed.
"She's embarrassed guys. Leave her alone," Kris defended, though in actuality she had only made it worse.
"Ooooooooooo! Tara's embarrassed!" Ryan teased.
I glared at Kris. "Thanks a lot."
I looked around the circle and realized I wasn't getting out of it so I finally broke. I grabbed for the joint and Jax pulled it back so I turned my glare at him. He handed it to me.
I took a few puffs and with smoke still in my lungs, I told them. "I have a plastic… you know… and I use synthetic urine from the smoke shop."
Their eyes grew to the size of watermelons.
"A plastic what?!"? Ryan asked incredulously. "You have a plastic pussy?"
I rolled my eyes and hit the joint again, confirming his question with a shrug.
Opie let out a surprised "What?" and Jax and Ryan laughed.
"A friend… a person I use to hang out with," I corrected. "He told me about it so I asked the guy at Planet K and he said they had one for girls too."
"Can I see it? How does it work?" Of course Ryan wanted more details.
"No, you can't see it, asshole!" I told him sharply. "There's a Velcro belt you wear under your clothes and there's these tubes and you have this plastic pouch of fake urine and you put these warmer things in in…. you know, like the hand warmers they sell at the camping store… and that gets it up to the temperature so no one thinks anything is weird and… as long as they're not standing like right there when you go, which they don't because I'm a minor…. It works." If they wanted more explanation than that they weren't getting it.
"Wow," Jax breathed. "Wouldn't it be easier just to quit smoking?"
We all laughed.
