The next night however I was surprised Thorin told me that it was my turn to take the first shift of night watch. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, I just didn't expect him to show me that kind of trust.
I should have realized he was only doing it to be mean, after he ordered me to take the first watch, which lasted till midnight, for days in a row. I saw the other Dwarves smirks and amused looks at the bags under my eyes and yawns. Thorin even started making wench remarks and more "go home" jokes that were rubbing me raw. Gandalf's quelling looks did nothing so I decided to just ignore them to the best of my ability.
However, I would admit that not everyone was giving me a hard time. Balin tried to get Dwalin and Thorin to stop at first, but soon found that he couldn't, so stayed out of it. Dori was too polite to tease, but he was obviously amused. Nori rolled his eyes and tried to distract me with conversation and Ori stared at his hands uncomfortably. Fili and Kili looked unsure what to do, ultimately staying out of it and Bifir was in his own head most of the time and Bombur didn't tease, just shook his head. I rode near Gandalf more and he would explain some more things about Middle-earth, or be busy with his own thoughts.
Rolling my eyes at Gloin when he said some rambunctious joke about house wives, I finally couldn't keep my eyes open. I let Laddybuck go into the middle of the company between Nori and Kili, ordering him not to harm anyone and lied down on his neck, ready for a nap. I heard Dwalin growl from behind Ori, "Falling asleep on your horse is a good way to get yourself killed!"
I looked back at him sleepily, pushing down my ire and instead saying calmly, "Dwalin, the only way someone could get me off of Laddybucks back is to kill me first. A few winks of sleep isn't going to kill anyone so leave me be."
Closing my eyes, I heard a horse approaching. Laddybuck snorted a warning before dancing away from what I guessed to be a grab for his reins and then slipped back in line between Fili and Kili. I cracked one eye open as Dwalin tried a few more times to either grab the reins or dump me from Laddybucks back. Laddybuck dodged him easily and was still smooth enough to keep me on his back. Dwalin finally barked for Fili and Kili to lend a hand but Laddybuck wouldn't let any of the Dwarves near me. Yawning hugely I wrapped my arms around his neck and stuck to him like a burr as he finally settled next to Gandalf, who ordered the Dwarves to stop their nonsense and watch the road.
I smothered my laughter into Laddybucks mane and Gandalf chided, "Really, your acting like children. Ariana won't fall and as Laddybuck has proven you can't get her off. So leave the girl be."
Thanks to Gandalf I got in a few hours of sleep as we rode.
But when we stopped for the night I was still given the first watch, and decided that this was getting old, fast. Especially when Gloin and Dwalin started calling me wench. "grab that piece of fire wood wench." "That wasn't a smart move wench."
My temper was starting to spike as I wondered if I would get in trouble by spending the night away from the Company. I quietly discussed this with Gandalf but while he agreed I would be fine, he shook his head saying that it would make things worse. Instead Gandalf offered to take first watch since this was my tenth day in a row. I could have kissed him, until Thorin said haughtily, "If she can't handle it, then she should go home to her mother!"
This sent a stab to my chest and my ire flared from a burning candle to a roaring bonfire. My spine went ram rod straight and my eyes flashed dangerously. But no matter how angry I was, I wasn't about to loose it over something so insignificant. I hoped.
Instead I smiled thinly at Gandalf and said tensely, "Thank you Gandalf. I accept."
Thorin's glare at me was almost impressive and the shocked looks of the others was almost priceless. I went over to my pack to get my cloak, ignoring them quite well I thought. Until I heard Thorin approach, his heavy boots thudding in his anger and he snarled, "You can't disobey my orders wench."
"So much for keeping my temper in check." I thought vaguely.
I spun and snarled in his face, "The hell I can't Thorin Oakenshield!" He looked shell shocked as I finally said what I had been wanting to say to this knucklehead, "I am not your wench! I am not your servant! I am not your loyal subject! I am an equal member of the Company and I will do as I damn well please when I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep in over a week and you have the goal to come and get in my face!? Call me a wench again and I'll hit you so hard your ancestors will bleed! You better leave me the hell alone before I rip out your tongue and strangle you with it!"
Fury rolled off me in waves and Thorin to an involuntary step back. Spinning on my heel I grabbed my pack and gave a whistle, which had Laddybuck came trotting over to me eagerly. Having an idea of where I could go camp, I said tightly to Gandalf, "I need some time to myself. I'll be back later tomorrow."
I gave the group one more glare as I swung up onto Laddybucks back, nodding to Gandalf in farewell when I saw his nod of approval. Laddybuck gave a bit of a rear in his excitement, and then in a burst of speed, galloped off into the night. I guided him easily with my knees, trusting his eyes in the dark more than my own. After we had gone a decent distance I slowed him down near a rocky area where there was a few boulders that had rolled off the mountain and would make a cozy campsite. I slid off Laddybuck's back with a thank you and sent him to graze as I silently stewed over what had happened.
0o0
Gandalf looked down his nose at the Dwarves and huffed, "Well there you go Thorin, you wanted her gone and now she is. Are you happy now that you've lost your burglar?" Thorin snorted, stomping back to the fire and everyone glanced worriedly between him and the wizard. Gandalf shook his head sorrowfully, "What possessed you? Why must you torture the girl?"
Thorin glared at the flames and said firmly, "She has no place among us."
Gandalf glared at his back, "She has done nothing to you but try and help!"
Thorin spun and snarled, "She does not belong with us! Send her home!"
Gandalf stood angrily and Thorin gulped as the wizard said firmly, "Do not believe you can order me around either Thorin Oakenshield."
Thorin slowly relented and said, "I apologize." Gandalf huffed but slowly relaxed as he re-took his seat, "You all fear for her safety, that much his plain." The Dwarves shifted under his gaze, either in embarrassment at trying to be kind, or in shame for not caring at all. Gandalf continued, "But she will prove herself and cannot do so when you do not give her the chance! Now you've made her run off, which I can not blame her in the least. She will decide to meet back with us or not. And I certainly hope she decides to rejoin us. If not, you only have yourself to blame when this quest fails."
He settled back with his back to a tree, obviously not taking the first shift any longer. Dori got the shift instead and turned to tell Nori to watch Ori when he realized his thief of a brother was gone! He turned quickly, startled and asked, "Has anyone seen Nori?"
Everyone looked around and Ori said quietly from his spot by the fire, clutching his sketchbook worriedly in his hands, "He nipped off after Ariana. Said she shouldn't go off all alone." Dori seemed horrified, thinking of Ariana's temper but Gandalf looked relieved, "Then we will hopefully meet them both tomorrow. Stop fussing Dori, Ariana won't hurt him." Then with a twinkle in his eye as Dori began to relax he said innocently, "Unless of course he calls her a wench. Then lets hope she only bruises him a little."
Dori's reaction, along with the uncomfortable looks from the others nearly made Gandalf laugh out loud.
0o0
Gathering some firewood I dug my fireplace and lined it with rocks. Pulling some bark from the wood I had gathered I used some of my frustrations on grinding it until it was fine tinder. Then I carefully set about building up the wood so that I could light the tinder and the wind wouldn't blow it out. There was a slight breeze but it wasn't cool yet. Pulling a flint from my pack I grumbled under my breath as I struck it near the tinder and then once I got a spark I carefully held my breath and nursed the spark into a flame. Then it spread to the kindling and then the wood and I sat back with a satisfied smirk.
I dug through my pack and found that I had slowly been eating through my stores because of my less than satisfying portions at meals. I only had a bit of jerky, a couple of wrinkly apples and a handful of dried fruit. Shaking my head I set about to eating this, knowing I could hunt tomorrow and gather more food as I went along the road.
As I ate, I was instinctively aware that I was all alone with just my horse. No loud snores, no glares or dirty looks. No rude remarks. The silence was almost a bliss but I knew that being by myself was a danger and would be sleeping with one eye open tonight. But at least I could get more sleep and didn't have to worry about offending someone.
My senses stretched out, sensing the earth and anything close that might be a threat. Something came across my attention and I scowled into the dark. Someone was out there, watching me from the trees. Getting up and making as if I had to use the bathroom, I slunk into the shadows and to the naked eye, disappeared. I slipped silently through the dark, drawing my dagger as I came towards the place where I had sensed the watcher. I was very surprised when I sneaked up silently behind the red haired, star shaped head of Nori. Frowning I grabbed his arm and whipped my other up to his neck, pressing the dull side of my dagger to his neck just enough so that he could feel the cold steel, "What are you doing here Nori?"
He held up his hand and said smoothly, "Oh just enjoying the night." A twinkle in his eye and a grin on his lips told me he knew I wouldn't hurt him.
I snorted in disbelief and let him go, sheathing my dagger, "Enjoy it somewhere else." He smiled good naturally at me, "Ouch she bites." I saw his pony a couple feet away and motioned towards it, "Yes, now git."
He just stood there with that grin and I wanted to slap him. Instead I sniffed and moved back to my fire, expecting him to follow. I knew from watching him that he wasn't the type to just leave. He did however, go get his pony and came up to the fire. He held up a bag that I recognized as Bomburs and said, "You let me stay, and I'll share some of this venison and cheese with you."
My stomach growled on it's own, and bless him he didn't laugh or show his amusement except a small crinkle around his eyes. I looked up at the sky as if asking for patience and said as if in woe, "I guess I have no choice. Can't really get rid of you can I?" He grinned and said pertly, "No."
I looked at him seriously and asked, a wanting to know burning in my chest, "But why? You have no obligation to me and I know Thorin didn't ask you. Why did you come?"
He looked at me, and I saw the deep intelligence in his eyes. The thief side that looked at me as if I was a lock to figure out. I gazed back shamelessly and he said softly, as if playing it off, "Well, a lass shouldn't be out here all alone and..."
I cut him off with a roll of my eyes and a huff, "Don't give me that. You know full well by now that I can take care of myself. But you should be back with your brothers. Why then, are you here?"
He gazed at me with something almost like respect and when he found that I wasn't going to let this go, he sighed heavily and gave me a real smile, "You made Ori smile."
I stared at him like a dope. And he sent his pony over by Laddybuck, then split the venison and cheese with me. I ate this eagerly and I waited for Nori to finish as well before he continued, "We both know Dori smothers him, with love mind." I withheld the snort as he settled down across the fire from me, "Ori is shy, bookish. I've never seen him open up to someone as quickly as he did you."
I shook my head, not sure I understood, "But I scared him. I just wanted him to like me, even a little bit. And he seemed so sad when the deer bolted."
Nori's smile widened, "You are a kind hearted lass. Not many would do anything like that for Ori. For any of us."
My confused look spoke volumes and he sighed again, "It's why I figure most of the company can't stand you coming along. Firstly, your a woman. Second, your human."
Cocking my head to the side, I tried to puzzle through this as I watched him pull out a pipe and start putting stuff in it. I finally gave up and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand." He used a branch lit by the fire to light his pipe and took a deep drag before he answered, "We have traveled far and Men tend to look down on people smaller than them. Dwarves are a proud race and that tends to rub most people the wrong way. So as we traveled and worked, most of us haven't had the best...welcome from Men. They think they are better than us, that we are just stupid smiths and miners. And you are just a stark reminder of that."
I stared at him, not for once thinking that something like this could be a reason why they didn't like me. I murmured, beginning to feel like I had landed in something too big for me, "So my presence is like rubbing salt in their wounds?" He shrugged, blowing a smoke ring, "Pretty much."
Rubbing my forehead I tried to work my mind around this, many things making sense know. But I stiffened like a board at Nori's pitied look as he asked, "Why bother with this suicide of a quest? Just go home to your family, I'm sure they miss you terribly by now."
I know he hadn't meant to, but his words sent daggers into my heart at the stark reminder that I had no one. I was alone. No home or family to go back to.
Something must have shown on my face because Nori took out his pipe and looked at me worriedly, "Lass? What is it?"
Coughing to clear my throat I pulled my pack over to get my blanket and said softly, "I can't."
He frowned, eying me and I finally gathered my courage and looked him in the eye, "I have no one to return to and no home. No one misses me Nori, because I have no one."
Breaking eye contact when his widened in horror and shame, "Oh, oh lass. I'm sorry. What we said to you..." I shrugged, fiddling with the blanket, "None of you knew, I can't really be offended when none of you knew." His snort startled me and I looked up at him, seeing his eyes hard as stone but they softened when I looked at him. He said softly, "That doesn't make it right lass."
I smiled slightly at him, trying to lighten his mood, "No, but so far the trip hasn't been all that bad. For instance, you call me lass instead of wench, girl or Burglar. That's something." He cracked a smile, "And Ori is sweet, Bifir made me a carving, and you shared your food."
I spread out my hands and said softly, "I just, I have a temper and if I didn't get away from the others I would probably hit someone and that wouldn't help anything." He grinned cheekily, "Would be entertaining tho." I shook my head at him but I was smiling too. Pulling my sword from my back I moved back to settle against a boulder, sword resting on my shoulder I felt myself beginning to trust Nori a bit. I asked him, "So I suppose your staying here tonight?"
I was surprised and a bit pleased when he shifted uncomfortably, "If you don't mind, not that I don't think you can handle yourself...but safety in numbers and all." Grinning at him I said, "If you want. Laddybuck and Daisy will keep an eye out for trouble." I cocked my head at him and said softly, "But if you want to go back to the others, that's fine too. I'll come back in the morning."
I watched him think about it and saw the conflicting emotion in his eyes. I smiled warmly, "Go Nori. I don't think less of you and you can make sure the others don't come this way, not that I think they will. But I need some time for myself if that's alright."
He raised an eyebrow and I saw the question in his eyes. Rolling my own eyes I said, "Laddybuck is a good guard dog. I'll be fine. I've spent most of my life living by myself and camping out like this. I'm not new at it." He looked over at Laddybuck, who had heard us talking an stamped his hoof and shook his mane at Nori. Nori finally nodded and gave me a stern look, "By morning, or I'll come get you lass."
I chuckled and waved him off, "Go on, I'll be there."
He slowly stood and sighed comically, "Fine, if you insist."
I teased, "I do."
He chuckled and then gave me a stern look, "Be safe."
I smiled softly, "You too. See you soon."
He went and gathered his pony, saluting me before mounting. I stood and moved up to his pony, rubbing her ears and said to it, "Get him back to the others Daisy."
Daisy nickered and nodded her head. I said to Nori, "See you soon."
He grinned and reached into his saddlebag and handed me a bag with some more venison and cheese in it, enough for breakfast. He winked, turned Daisy and headed back to the others. Laddybuck came over and nudged my shoulder. I rubbed his forehead and heard him say, "Sleep, I'll keep watch."
I smiled gratefully at him and kissed his nose, "Thanks Laddybuck." My shoulders sagged and I felt my tiredness double. I could barely get back to the boulder and drape my blanket over my shoulders, sword hidden underneath and fell into an exhausted sleep.
