AN: Two chapters at once because I couldn't leave you like that. ;)
Jax POV
Tara was already at Frankie's truck by the time I got to the parking lot. She leaned back, hands pressed against the dropped tailgate, sunlight reflecting hints of auburn in her hair. Despite myself, her boots made me smile. They seemed like they completed her. Though the shirt my mom had given her made her seem a little out of her element.
I dug my hand in my pocket nervously, looking around for anyone else who might make this encounter less awkward. The disparity between this morning and this afternoon made my head spin.
Realizing no one was going to swoop in for the assist, I kept walking toward her. She tried not to stare at me as I approached but she couldn't seem to figure out where to look.
I threw my bag in the bed and leaned against the tailgate too, though I put as much space between us as possible. I wasn't sure what I was so afraid of. She was still Tara.
"Hey," she greeted me with an anxious smile.
"Hey," I replied unsurely.
"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. You were so great to me and then I just kinda bailed…" she had a slight look of panic like she didn't quite know what to say.
"It's cool. You don't need to apologize, Knowles."
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it with a frown. She stared wordlessly like the right words might just appear from thin air if she looked hard enough.
"So you guys good now?" I ventured, not really wanting to hear the answer but also not wanting to act like nothing had happened.
She laughed without humor. "I'm not sure how to answer that." She quirked an eyebrow at me. "Define 'good'."
I didn't really know how to respond but thankfully Ryan and Frankie made their way over to us.
"Jax, Rocky," Ryan greeted us. Frankie nodded in our direction but turned his attention to some other juniors.
Ryan squeezed between me and Tara on the tailgate. Tara and I both stared straight ahead.
"Well, this isn't weird at all," Ryan commented.
Tara pushed him.
"What? I'm just saying. You two are the most stubborn people I know, and that's coming from me."
"I'm not stubborn," Tara and I both retorted at the same time.
Ryan laughed, sweeping his thick mop of hair out of his eyes.
"So you and Adam must've made up I take it," he observed.
Tara shrugged.
Ryan shook his head. "Why don't you just break up with him? Do us all a favor and get back with Jax already," he told her, pushing away from the tailgate.
"Seriously, you guys are ridiculous," he chided with a frown.
Tara made a noise like a strangled cat but luckily, or unluckily, she didn't have a chance to respond. Brittany and her minions descended on our private party.
I kept my hands on the tailgate as Brittany slid her arm around me. As she leaned into me I saw the range of emotions cross Tara's face; shock, disappointment, disgust, standard poker face.
After a stunned moment, Tara decided to play nice.
"Hi. You're Brittany, right?" she asked as diplomatically as possible.
Brittany pretended like she didn't hear her. Tara laughed darkly and rolled her eyes before turning toward Ryan, returning the cold shoulder.
The whole interaction rubbed like sandpaper. Tara was trying to be nice and Brittany, of course, was living up to her bitchy reputation. For someone who hadn't been in Charming very long, Brittany really seemed to think she ran shit.
Well she didn't run shit with Tara and she definitely didn't run shit with me.
I straightened and gripped her elbow tightly, squeezing hard enough to get and keep her attention.
"I think Tara was saying hi to you, Brittany." I tried to keep the words light but my voice came out like cold steel.
Brittany made a sour face but straightened when she realized I wasn't letting it go.
"Hi," Brittany grudgingly replied.
A satisfied smirk curled the corners of Tara's mouth. Tara didn't acknowledge her further but her eyes seemed to laugh when they touched mine.
Brittany let out an annoyed huff but closed her mouth when I cut her a hard look. It had always made me kind of uncomfortable when SAMCRO took the "to be seen not heard" approach with women but, when it came to chicks like Brittany; I was starting to understand necessity.
Kris and Opie joined us until Frankie started getting restless.
"You guys ready?" he asked.
I looked to Tara and Kris. "You guys got a ride?" I asked since there was no sign of Adam or his lackeys.
"We're good. Kris' uh, friend, is picking us up," Tara stumbled over the word friend and Kris blushed.
"What's this? Ms. Kristina finally found someone she deemed worthy at CHS?" Opie asked with genuine surprise.
I was just as surprised. I couldn't remember Kris ever dating anyone as far back as I could remember. Well, unless you count that punk Grant who spread some pretty shitty lies about her, which I didn't.
Kris' whole face was tomato red. "It's not a big deal. We're just hanging out. And he definitely doesn't go to CHS."
"Where does he go?" I asked. The nearest high school was on the res and I was pretty sure she hadn't gone native.
"He graduated. God, what's with the 3rd degree?"
"Anyway," Tara swooped in. "We're good,"
Graduated? I wondered. Not that Kris wasn't cool or hot or any of those things, because she was, but she was also a freshman in high school. I was pretty sure dating anyone graduated was probably illegal. Before I could say anything though, someone else had other plans.
"I could use a ride," Brittany spoke up. I'd really been hoping she'd disappear with her friends but she's chosen today of all days to gain confidence.
"Not my call, darling. You gotta ask Frankie," I told her woodenly.
She looked put off but looked over to him. "Frankie, you think you can take me home?"
Frankie gnawed at the inside of his cheek. He looked at me then at Tara. When Tara's expression didn't change, he shrugged.
"Fine, whatever," he consented then got in the truck.
Tara kept her expression even enough but Kris could have staple gunned Brittany to the wall. I decided we'd better leave before Kris' dark side slipped out. She wasn't much of a fighter but she could be meaner than hell. She'd learned from her sharp tongued mom after all.
Brittany walked toward the cab and I noticed Opie grimace.
"Where are you going, darling?" I asked her, deciding to save Opie from a painful car ride. "You're in the back with me."
I knew she wanted to argue about the wind messing up her hair or some shit but she thought better of it.
"You two stay out of trouble," I called to Tara and Kris as we drove off.
XOXOXOX
Tara POV
"So, where are we meeting this guy?" I asked Kris.
"Over by the gate. He should be here in a few minutes."
"What's his name again?" I asked, not wanting to totally butcher it. Kris hadn't really shown interest in anyone in a while and this guy was a lot older than us so I didn't want to make a bad impression.
"Devin. Devin Gangwyer." She paused before adding. "He's really cool. I think you'll like him." She seemed like she was trying to reassure herself more than me.
"I'm sure I will," I smiled. "If he got your stamp of approval, I'm sure it won't take much to get mine. So long as he treats you right and I don't have to cut his pecker off or anything."
Kris grimaced. "Geez, Tare. Not necessary. I promise."
I shrugged. "As long as you know," I replied with a wink.
"So what was that with you and Jax?" she asked, craning her neck to look down the side street for Devin's car.
I groaned. "Not you too," I told her feebly.
"What?" she asked. "Its obvious shit isn't working with Adam. You guys are like lukewarm bath water," she shuddered. "It's gross. But you and Jax?" she tilted her side to side thinking of the right words. "That's fire right there. You guys are good for each other."
I smiled at the thought but it made me sad too. "I don't know, Kris. You know how it goes. You play with fire, you get burned, right? I can't do that again."
"Jesus, Tara. He didn't fuck her." She held up a hand to stop me from interrupting. "I know he hurt you. I get how shitty it felt to trust him with all your secrets and then have him not trust you back. But are you really going to hold that against him the rest of his life? We were in fucking eighth grade, dude. Is it so hard for you to imagine that maybe he was a little insecure too?"
In my head, the words 'Jax Teller' and 'insecure' together did not compute.
"Adam needs me," I countered, not addressing her main point
"Does he need you or do you just want him to need you? There's a pretty big difference you know." She eyeballed me suspiciously.
"Seriously, Tara. You can't fix everyone," she added gently. "Adam has a lot of baggage. Maybe he needs to deal with that shit on his own for a while. I know he doesn't want to hurt your feelings but I don't know that he can work through his shit and worry about you too."
I sat slightly stunned for a minute before responding.
"You might be right, Kris. But how can I just bail on him?"
"So I'm right then? You're over it? You're just going to wait for him to be the one to break it off?" she asked.
I shrugged uncomfortably. I really cared about Adam; not in the "gotta be with you every second or I'm gonna kill myself" kind of way, but I did care about him. We had fun together; we could talk… or at least we use to be able to until things starting getting off track. And despite how things had been going lately, I knew he cared about me and had my back as long as his ego wasn't getting in the way at least. But things between us were just alright. We were like friends who fucked. It didn't seem to be growing into more.
"I don't know, Kris. It's not that simple."
"Are you guys still hooking up?" she questioned.
I pretended like I didn't hear her but she took my silence for the yes that it was.
"Are you even into it anymore?"
I blew out a frustrated breath.
"I mean it's sex. Whatever. It's not like out of this world amazing but it's not terrible."
"Well that's a glowing endorsement. 'Not terrible'- exactly how every guy hopes his skill is described."
I had to laugh at that.
"Ugh. I don't understand you, Tara. All the experience in the world and you're never hitting it out of the park with anyone. "
"I feel like I should take that as an insult."
This time Kris laughed. "Not an insult my dear- just an observation. You need passion; hot, fiery, burning in your genitals kind of passion."
I almost choked. "Um, I'm not sure I ever want my genitals to burn but I think I know what you're saying."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, bad choice of words maybe, but you know what I mean."
"I don't know. Does that actually exist? I mean, I've been with enough guys, they're all more worried about getting themselves off."
"And that's why I'm going for an older guy," she smirked. "But, seriously. You and Jax; there's something there. You don't want to admit it, because you're stubborn or blind, I don't know which. But it's there regardless and you're making both of you miserable keeping up this charade with Adam."
"I think Jax is doing just fine," I replied. "He has enough Barbies to start a croweater army. I don't think he's so miserable."
Kris smiled. "Well, there's only one reason he would put up with that super Barbie Brittany and that's if he's trying to forget about someone. Do us all a favor and run her off already. Everybody wins."
A new light broke across her face. "There he is," she said nodding toward the side entrance of the lot. "Let's go."
