Nervous tension flooded my body as I realised that there is nothing to stop me from seeing my boyfriend and he is now awake. I put my hand on the door handle but hesitated for a moment, letting my doubts get the best of me. Kendall is awake and he can talk back now. The doctors hadn't told me much else apart from Kendall is going to be a bit tired.
"Hi Kendall" I said entering his room. It was quiet apart from the machine beside Kendall was beeping on and off. He was lay on his back still, one tube going up into his nose. A bandage was wrapped tightly around his head to protect the bump. He looked better though now that the colour had started to come back to his cheeks.
"I'm glad you are here" he croaked. "Its about time I sit up"
"Okay" I went round the side of his bed and found the controller for his bed. "is that better?"
"Thank you nurse" He said.
I froze. Why is he calling me a nurse? "How are you feeling?"
"Sick, tired, bored fed up and my whole body seems to be giving up" he replied. "Apart from that I am just great"
"I can't imagine what you are feeling" I said fighting back tears.
Kendall shrugged his shoulders "i don't know myself to be fair. Since the...accident I have had no memory of anything or anyone before it happened"
I was struggling myself to deal with it myself. Kendall has no memory of anything before the accident meaning he can't remember me, or his mum or Katie or the guys Big Time Rush or anything. How can this happen?
"Are you still there?" Kendall said a few moments. "My eyes feel like they are permanently glued shut its so dark"
I had fallen speechless, unable to find any words. What can I say? What can I say which won't tip him over the edge. We've both been through so much and he can't even remember who his family are and to top it all off Kendall is blind.
"Yes I am its horrible what you have been through" I said eventually. My heart is breaking slowly on the inside. I want to tell him everything so much but I don't know how. It could harm him even more especially if he is not mentally capable of understanding. Who knows what other damage the accident has caused to him.
I want my Kendall to come back to me as soon as he can. The man laying here is not the man I fell in love. I fell in love with the upbeat, goofy man who was so determined to win my heart that he fought through a song against the other guys. He didn't stop pestering me until I agreed to one date. I never told him this but I always loved him ever since the first moment I saw him during my introductory tour of the palm woods. Bitters had taken me past the pool where Kendall and the guys were chilling and they were speechless when they saw me too. Hands down one of the funniest weeks I ever had was my first one at the Palm Woods and it was mainly because of Kendall and the guys.
"Nurse!" Kendall was saying.
I shook my head "Sorry"
"I said I need some water please" he told me.
"Sure" I said pouring the jug into a plastic cup and holding out for Kendall.
"Sorry but you need to help me I can't grip with my hands."
I held the cup up to his mouth and tipped it ever so slightly once Kendall opened his mouth.
"thank you" he said yawning. "Please I want to sleep"
"I'll come check on you in a bit" I said putting Kendall flat on his back again before leaving his room.
Cami was sat holding her head in her hands.
"What's wrong?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. I placed one hand on her knee while I pushed her hair away from her face.
"Jo they had the pregnancy test. Logan took it from my car. I am so sorry they know" Camille said.
"We know that Camille is pregnant" James said.
I shook my head. I felt sick. "no you guys are wrong"
"Jo"
I shook my head again. "No Cami don't lie for me, not any more. Guys the test belongs to me I am pregnant but you can't tell anybody not yet"
