It was five o'clock that night before Lorelai heard from Luke.
"Hey!" Lorelai said happily when she heard his voice on the other end of the phone. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah, I guess I was more tired than I thought. I just woke up. Course now I will be up all night, but ah well," Luke began. "So…"
"So….," Lorelai said slowly, followed by a pause. Luke broke the silence first.
"Now what?" he asked.
"Well, I was just about to take Paul Anka for his walk. Want to walk…and talk with us?" Lorelai asked.
"On my way."
Twenty minutes later, Luke and Lorelai began their walk around Stars Hollow. Neither one knew how to start what they knew would be a difficult conversation.
"How should we start this," Luke asked.
"I guess one of us should start. We have to figure out what went wrong and why to keep it from happening again."
"Yes, you're right….so…," Luke said.
"So…" Lorelai responded.
"Why don't you go first, Lorelai. What are you thinking?"
"Well, right now I am thinking that I'm terrified," Lorelai said with a laugh. "How about I go back to last year. I think…I think for me it started with the whole April thing. I said I understood why you kept that whole thing from me for two months, but the truth is, I didn't understand and I still don't. I won't lie…it hurt and it was confusing and I was pretty angry about it. Can you try and explain to me why you didn't tell me? Did you think I would bail on you? Because I wouldn't have, Luke."
"It's not that I was afraid you would bail on me, it's more that I was afraid that everything we had, everything we were would change and I was right, it did change, but I don't think it would have changed as negatively if I had told you from the beginning. Just…the longer took to tell you, the harder it got and the more I didn't know how to tell you. I know I said it then, but I will say it again and I will say it forever…I am sorry, truly sorry that I kept it from you. I know I hurt you and I will regret that forever."
"I don't want you to regret it forever, Luke. I am so happy you have April in your life. We promised each other back then, no secrets. I want to reinstate that promise, okay?"
"Okay." Luke said. "Now, you. Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling?"
"I don't really know. I have never been one to hold back. Usually I speak before thinking, as you know. I talked to Rory and Sookie…I guess, like you, I was afraid that talking to you about being angry would drive a wedge between us. Crazy how not talking until I exploded on you was worse. I promise in the future I will unleash all of my fury on you." Lorelai said risking a slight smile.
Luke chuckled, "I guess that's all I can ask."
"Your turn. Why did you want to postpone the wedding? Did you not want to marry me?" Lorelai asked as she avoided looking directly at Luke.
"I did want to marry you. Very much. It just got scary…the idea of it, especially after that disaster of a marriage I had to Nicole. I would have married you, Lorelai. I just am unsure of the timing. I should have told you I was having doubts. No doubts about being a relationship with you, just doubts about putting it on paper."
"I get that, especially now after…well you know, the Christopher thing."
"Yeah, about that…let's go there next. Why did you marry Christopher?"
