I know everyone has been wanting to read this chapter, can't believe it's already the 50th! I'm excited it's finally done and ready to be devoured by you guys. I just wanna reiterate and tell you all how grateful I am for your support and amazing compliments regarding my story. Without all of you, I wouldn't have discovered that writing and English are my passion. With the confidence you all have helped me build, I've began writing original things, all mostly poems but it's a start, right? Anyway, I love you all. Please enjoy this chapter and leave me a review if you'd like! - MJ123 :)

Alex finally succumbed to telling Norma the entire truth about his past, though it seemed she already knew most of it. He took a few moments to get a handle on his emotions before laying down on her bed, her next to him still squeezing his hand.

"We were in love," he started, eyes darting everywhere but her face if he looked into her saddened blues a piece of him would simply crumble apart, "We were so fucking in love."

Her mouth was gaped a bit, not only was Alex seemingly growing more emotional, he was willing. That's what she was after anyhow, for him to show her his true colors in all forms without any kind of internal judgement getting in the way.

"I met her when I was training to be on the force. It was pretty fast, actually. Believe me when I say this was the type of shit you'd find in one of those sappy romance movies," he paused, taking another deep breath, "I would go to get coffee at this shop across the street from the academy and she would be there every day. The way we interacted for the first time wasn't exactly..." He stopped, searching for the right word and internally preparing himself for the rest of the story.

"Picture-esque?" Norma butted in, sensing him getting uncomfortable with the growing awkward silence.

"Yeah," he said, thankful for her voice, "I actually spilled coffee on her and uh- we kinda just clicked after that."

She grew nervous when he stopped speaking for a bit after that, it was hard for Norma to see him hurt so much. "What was she like?" she questioned, hoping to lighten the subject a bit.

"Callie..." he said, starting to anxiously play with her tiny fingers, "She was amazing. Like...a complete free spirit and rebellious all at once. She was really worldly, really into activism. Even dressed like a hippie," he claimed, a small chuckled leaving his throat.

Norma just nodded, not wanting to push him to talk about her death.

"But anyway, we moved in together after about six months of dating. Bought this little house in White Pine and she got pregnant," he said, a hand reaching up to brush through his short hairs. Norma knew he was growing sadder and sadder, she moved closer to lean into him for comfort. She felt a bit relieved when his arm reached over to wrap around her.

"Were you happy?" she asked, her voice growing into a soft whisper, not wanting to overwhelm him with anything more.

"I was scared out of my mind. I wasn't sure what would happen or how parenting would work out for me. But yeah you could say I was fairly smitten with the idea of being a father," he added, Norma looked over to see his eyes beginning to get glossy.

She moved her mouth near his ear, "We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't wanna," her voice soothed.

He shook his head never being one to feel weak, "I want to tell you," he breathed, his fingers playing at the fabric of her nightgown, "One night...I was out on duty. And this was when I was just starting out, I mean I was only a deputy at the time. I remember it like it was yesterday...I was called out to deal with a domestic violence issue and had to leave her home alone. She was around 7 months pregnant. And I guess she um..."

Alex paused for a few good minutes, he'd never spoken to anyone about this before. He'd never even internalized it himself, he looked at it like a giant bruise that would take a bit of healing but never a check up.

"She needed something. In the middle of the night that is when I was out. It was raining so hard that night, you'd never seen rain like this in your life. I guess she hopped in the car, her little mini cooper. I kept trying to tell her that it wasn't safe but she thought it was better for the environment so of course she insisted," he said, his head shaking in a bit of hysteria.

"She was driving along the little side roads to get to this convenience store near downtown. Since it was so damn rainy out, she couldn't see anything. It was like buckets of water coating a windshield...I mean...there was just no way. And I guess there was a trucker on the same road, he'd had way too much to drink that night. He just drifted off and hit her car. And um..."

He stopped once more before taking in one more sharp intake of breath, "I was the one. I was the one to find her like that...and I completely lost my fucking mind. I wouldn't go out of the house, I wouldn't sleep, I was totally addicted to alcohol and off the corner antidepressants. It was a good six or seven months before I was actually able to leave the house and go to work. And when I did, that feeling wouldn't shake. I always felt sick and anxious about losing my girlfriend and our child..."

"I understand, Alex. I get that feeling, it's something that's hard to overcome. Losing someone like that...I couldn't imagine the feeling of losing not just one but two people," she sympathized, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly.

"Sure you can, I mean...you lost a baby. That must've hurt like crazy too," he said, silently cherishing the slight kiss she gave him, it was like giving him a bandage.

"It did. It fucking broke my heart. I still blame myself but I know the sun is gonna rise in the morning and we as people have to rise with it," she murmured, hoping to ease the sadness of the room.

He looked to her and kissed her softly, "I love you. I really need you to know that. I never said it enough to Callie and I saw how that ended up. I care about you and I know for a fact that you helped me overcome that depression."

She was utterly touched, a small smile taking over her lips and she placed a hand on his cheek, "How?".

"I don't know. Dealing with your crazy ass the first year got my mind off my own shit I guess," he laughed, looking into her kind eyes, that was the one trait he fell for the hardest at first.

"Well, I'm happy my crazy ass could make you feel better," she said, her heart fluttering with clarification that he loved her, really loved her.

"Thank you."

Your view has been appreciated courtesy of me. Comment if any of you would like to read my poetry and I will happily post it somewhere that is easily accessible, if not I understand. Thanks - MJ