AN: Hi guy's, so before anyone says anything. No, I haven't abandoned 'No Promises', I just hit some major writers block, but the next chapter is half written. This idea however, wouldn't leave me alone. With TPTB practically destroying all hope for a Swan Queen happy ending, I decided to run with the developments of series five and give it my own spin. You'll probably recognise the start of this chapter as it's taken from one of the series finale promos, but that is where the similarity ends. Nothing from this chapter on will mimic future episodes. Unless I'm psychic, but considering I write about love between our two favourite ladies I highly doubt that! Anyway, let me know what you think, and sorry for any mistakes.
NB: The only change the edit brought was the disclaimer, so you don't need to read the chapter again.
Disclaimer: Obviously OUAT and its characters do not belong to me. They are the property of Eddie and Adam, and ABC. If they belonged to me THIS is how it would end!
The entire diner shakes and for a brief, terrifying second, I fear that I'm the one that causes it. As magic is emotion, it's perfectly reasonable to assume that the shaking Earth is a manifestation of the cracks widening in my already broken heart. Emma's request however well intentioned, was filled with pity, and that is an emotion that my fragile state just cannot deal with right now.
But the familiar ring of the diner bell and the entrance of a man I thought condemned to the afterlife, stirs such feelings of hate that if the earthquake was caused by my pain, what I feel now would tear it asunder.
"Swan, is everything okay?"
My jaw drops, a silent scream tearing from lungs that in that last few days have found it increasingly difficult to breathe. Hook is alive. Hook is alive and Robin, is dead. It's a pain that strikes so deep I almost wish it would kill me where I stand.
I hear Zelena speak, then Charming, and then him. But the words don't penetrate the dark cloud that has descended on me in the last few seconds. It's a cloud that chokes me, sucking the hope from the world at the realisation that once again, I am the one punished. Rumplestiltskin's warning has never resonated so strong. I am a villain, and whatever good I do, whatever I willingly sacrifice, I will never get my happy ending.
I turn to Emma, searching for a reason, a sense of understanding, and she's smiling. Smiling sickeningly at the man whose body was as cold as Robins just an hour ago. If Hook's appearance is the final, destructive, dagger to my heart, then Swan's happy expression has just given it the final twist.
"Delicate as always!" I growl, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I fix the blonde with a disbelieving look.
Why her and not me? Why Hook and not Robin? How many loves do I have to sacrifice while trying to protect the Charming family?
Why fight to be good when I always lose?
The dark cloud slowly turns to red and I fight the urge to rip out his heart and crush it in my hand. If I can't have Robin, then Emma can't have her pirate. Snow can't have Charming and Rumple can't have Belle. I have played this game before, and I am tired of coming last.
The weight of my glare burns into the Saviour and as real as if Robin's ghost just appeared before us, Emma suddenly remembers that her joy is not welcome at a wake. Her smile falters, green eyes shifting sideways as she actually has the gall to look apologetic.
"Regina I…"
My hands ball into fists at my sides, resisting the urge to conjure up a fireball that will burn this hypocritical town to the ground.
"No!" I interject, forcing the word past my silent rage. "I don't want your half-hearted apologies."
"Regina…" This time its Snow, hastily handing her son to Charming before she tentatively steps towards me.
"And I don't want your pity!" I howl, my anger and desolation bursting forth as I address every virtuous character in this overcrowded room.
This is Daniel all over again, the sad looks and encouraging speeches, but none of them know. They never did. None of them have felt the pain of loss like I have. None of them have been fated to a lifetime of loneliness.
I stalk over to the pirate, feeling joy in the fearful look on his face, "Why you?" I demand, my voice dropping to a tone that I thought I'd left behind in the Enchanted Forest. "What did you do to deserve a second chance?"
At least he has the decency to look embarrassed. Villain to villain there is nothing to separate the crimes that we have committed, if he can't give me a fair explanation, then no one can.
"I don't think it's that simple, love…" He begins, his voice sympathetically soft.
I don't want his sympathy.
"I am not your love!" I roar, sick of the sugar-coated answers that everyone is trying to protect me with, "My love is buried six feet deep in the ground…"
The diner shakes again, a louder, deeper, rumble than the one before, and I find myself grabbing for Hook in an attempt to remain upright. I despise the fact that I have to rely on him for anything, and roughly shove him aside when the shaking abruptly stops.
When he glances back to me the sorrow is gone from his eyes and for the first time since Robin's death, someone looks at me as an equal again. "Zeus sent me back," he finally confesses, "A reward for helping him defeat Hade's."
The truth is as welcome as it is painful. "A reward?" I spit, the word like poison on my tongue, "So tell me, Pirate, what's Zelena's reward for murdering her true love in order to save us all? What's Roland's reward for sacrificing his father in the fight to bring you home? What's my reward for giving up everything I have in my quest to do good?"
His gaze shifts to someone stood behind me, Emma. A silent plea for the Saviour to come and rescue him from an unwinnable conversation. If Regina Mills was here right now she'd know, deep down, that this wasn't Killian's fault. She'd probably be happy that their mission was ultimately a success, that her best friend was free from heartbreak once more. But Regina Mills isn't here, in fact the current sense of betrayal coursing through me and my sudden, raging war with the world is far more akin to that of the Evil Queen.
"I think it was more a gift for finally finding redemption," He clarifies, swallowing sharply when his lover chooses to remain mute on the subject.
"Redemption!?" I can see the red cloud as clear as if it was here in front of me. It grows, spreading out to blanket the entire diner with my increasing sense of injustice. "What have you done that is so much greater than anything I've achieved?"
"Mom?" Henry's voice, a reminder of true happiness in a world that has abandoned me, gently reaches out. I glance over my shoulder to where he's standing next to his grandfather, and raise a questioning eyebrow. "I can write a new ending," he stutters, clearly scared that this change in me is permanent, "I'm the author, I can give you whatever happy ending you want…."
"How many happy endings do you think a person gets, Henry?" I challenge, trying to soften the harsh timbre of my voice but failing miserably. "I have had two loves and I've lost them both. I think my quota is done."
On the last word the Earth shakes again, not as violently as the other two but certainly more prolonged.
"Is no one bothered about what that is?" Merida asks, her Scottish lilt a calming sound that makes me curl my lip in distaste.
"Yeah we…we should check it out…" Emma agrees, finding her voice for long enough to issue an order that sounds more like a question.
I find it strangely ironic that the fate of our town rests in the hands of a woman so pathetically indecisive, and decide then and there that this is where our alliance ends. "You heroes can do whatever pleases you," I reply coldly, "but I want no part in it."
The blonde pulls the same tight-lipped expression she always does when feeling sorry for someone less fortunate than her, and it only serves to fuel the fire inside of me. I don't want their sadness; I want the same chance at happiness as everyone else in this godforsaken town. I want my second chance.
Emma opens her mouth to speak but Snow beats her to it, "Regina, we're on your side, you know that…"
And I do. Deep down I know that they all want me to be happy too. But pep talks and good intentions have brought me nothing thus far, and I'm just about out of good deeds.
"But I'm no longer on yours," I reply, a satisfied smile forming as I watch Snow's expression crumple before my very eyes. "I tried to be good, I fought every dark urge I have to be a better person, to prove myself worthy of redemption, and this is the ending I get…"
"Regina, you heard Henry this isn't your ending…."
It's Emma again, but between her and her upbeat mother I've taken all the hope speeches I can stomach for one lifetime. I silence her with a raised hand, "I'm done, Misss Swan. Take your incredibly lucky Pirate and your perfectly happy parents and go and save this town, that's what heroes do."
"You're a hero now, too!"
I clench my jaw at Charming's claim, Robin's freshly dug grave arguing otherwise, "I was a hero," I state to the gasp of several patrons, "and take a long hard look at where that got me. Twice in my life I have risked everything to help a Charming, and twice it has cost me my happiness. Whatever is causing the Earth to shake, it can destroy Storybrooke for all I care."
As the ground begins to tremble more violently than ever and everyone scrambles for their weapons, I exit my lover's wake in a puff of purple smoke, leaving the heroes to fight a war that was never mine to begin with.
