So... this one is intense.
Chapter Four
I have never been this confused.
I'm staring at Izaya, only it's not Izaya and I'm there too. I mean, there is a man that looks just like me and a man that looks just like Izaya, but they're wearing lab coats. They're in Izaya's side of the room- digging into him as he screams.
They moved the chains. Izaya's chained to the floor.
We received a warning about thirty minutes ago to get into position so they can tighten our chains. We did and they did, but once they were tightened Izaya's chains started moving. That's when I learned what all the holes and tracks on the walls and floors are for. The chains ran along the tracks down the wall and onto the floor, forcing him to lay on the ground.
The flea was scared. My chains never moved but as his did, he stared at me for comfort and that just... freaked me out. Now he's laying on the ground and the two imposters are... performing some kind of surgery on him.
"AHHHHHH! STOP!" Izaya screams again for the fifteenth time and I find myself starting to lose my patience.
Waves of nausea take over my stomach, I look away hoping to curb it.
"AhhhAHHH, ann, noo...Nughhhlll!"
He's throwing up and hearing it again finally causes me to lose control. I lean over as much as my chains allow, spitting bile on my shirt anyway.
Hearing his pain filled screams were once a wonderful thing... but these people... they are truly evil.
Izaya's awake, I mean he's fully awake as they reach into his gut and perform their operation. His chains are digging into him as he struggles against them. The blood that trickles down his wrists are not even a thought in his mind though. His pain is unbearable, I can see it on his face as he stares at me, eyes begging me to free him.
It blows my mind that he hasn't passed out from the pain yet. I think I would have by now, unless they were keeping him awake somehow.
"NO, no, no, no, STOP! No, no, NO, NO, NO, STOP! NOoooOoOOo, no, ENOUGH! NO, NO, no, no." The tone of Izaya's voice varies as they work beneath his skin. He vomits every few minutes in between screams of pain and agony.
I can't even say anything to him. I don't know what to say. The expression he shows me pains my chest and the fact that I'm being forced to witness this causes me to vomit once more.
I am losing my cool.
This is the first time I have ever felt bad for that bastard. This is the first time I have ever felt guilt.
I actually kind of want to make them stop.
Izaya has never looked so vulnerable to me in our entire 'relationship', if you can call it that. I don't know how to handle it and picturing myself going through the same thing just makes me even more nauseous.
I can't even pretend that I'm okay with this.
I've tried breaking through my chains. I tried not to make it noticeable. I don't really want the flea thinking he has some kind of hope of getting out of here and being saved from his current situation.
"What are you doing to him!?" I finally ask.
They peek over to me for a moment but continue their work without replying.
How long will this be going on? How long will they keep this up? Can't they just finish up and leave him alone?
His screams penetrate my brain. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this before I lose my mind. Every scream, every word stabs me in the chest, in the brain. I can't put up with this.
"Nuh, Noooo! J-just stoppp! I cannn—nn't breathe. I can't- Just please. Please stop!"
Stab.
"Take all my- Blehh ugh.. money! Take everything! Junst just nst-stop."
Stab.
Izaya's frantically rattling chains are moving more sporadically now. His limbs flail a little less and a little slower. I assume he is going to pass out, but I'm not an expert at these things.
The flea's wrists and forearms are covered in blood just as the doppelgangers' white gloves and lab coats are. He lays in a pool of his own blood, blood that comes from his wrists, his ankles, and the opening in his abdomen. The hair on his forehead is matted to his face and his body is covered in a layer of sweat. What bothers me about his appearance the most is his face. His face is twisted into an expression of fear and agony that I never thought possible on him. His eyes are dark and the tears that continuously stream from them mix with blood on the floor. Blood smears his face when he turns to look at me as he is right now.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!? JUST STOP PLEASE!?" He screams at them in between uncontrollable sobs.
Stab.
He turns to me, tears flowing freely from his eyes, "Please Shizuo." His eyes burn holes into my skull, "Help me."
Stab.
I turn away from him, guilt wracking my body. I know how much pain he is in and I know that he needs my help but I can't. I don't have enough strength since they keep me sedated. I can't help him, I can't help myself. I can't do anything.
"Please," he begs again before a low groan escapes. The contents of his stomach pour out of his mouth once more and he turns from me, refusing to look at me as he sobs.
Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Why does all of this hurt me so much? Why does it bother me so much?
"Heiwajima, the time to make your choice has come." As the voice speaks, three buttons emerge from the floor. A green button, a yellow one and a red one. "Will you choose to cause him more suffering? Red. Will you watch and do nothing? Yellow. Or will you give him a dose of a painkiller? Green."
I'm conflicted. I know what I want to do. I know what I should do. I know what is the right thing to do.
Izaya still refuses to look at me even though I know he heard the voice give me the options.
He must be thinking I'm going to make it worse and make him suffer more but... I never thought I'd say this, but I think he's suffered enough and right now I just want to bust through that glass and take him to Shinra's to be patched up.
...but I can't.
I reach for the green button like the good guy I am. These choices are so extreme it makes me sick but it's not hard to choose. I'm human and even if he is a disgusting parasite, this is evil beyond this world. He may not deserve to live in a luxurious apartment or cell but I don't think he deserves this kind of hell. I wouldn't/couldn't wish this on anyone, not even him.
"How strong is the painkiller?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.
"It's 15mg of oxycodone administered through his I.V," the voice answers.
"You're talking gibberish to me. What does that mean? How much before he overdoses?"
"He risks overdose after three doses."
"Can I give him more than one?"
"The button works as many times as you press it," the voice chuckles as he speaks. Either he didn't expect me to ask or... he's laughing that this is the choice I'm going with.
"What happens if I choose the red button?" I ask, tuning out Izaya's screams.
"We will administer another dose of adrenaline which is what is keeping him awake. After that my colleagues will take extra time."
A low growl escapes my lips, none of these are good choices.
My foot moves over to the green button and I tap it twice with my foot.
Izaya's face snaps towards me and as the seconds go by, I can see the tiniest bit of relief come over his features. His eyes become half lidded even as his mouth screams. The flea's face and body calms for a few moments and then erupt in to terror, a cycle that seems to be on a loop. After twenty minutes or so he seems to be without relief again and I contemplate my next move.
I don't want to overdose him, what would be the point in helping him then?
"Izaya, do you need more?" I decide that asking him rather than assuming would be my best bet.
Izaya doesn't seem to want to answer me at first, he turns to his side and throws up again. When he turns back to me, he nods and I tap the button again.
We go through this cycle until they stitch him up and leave him chained the floor. I press the green button one more time before they disappear into the floor.
The surgery took a little over two hours and I dosed him several times in that time period.
Now that he survived the surgery, he could die from overdose.
Why didn't I think this through properly and watch what did they did to him?
They cleaned up the area around him, showered him, and changed him. They sprayed the blood from the floor but I still have no idea what they did to him.
Izaya jumps up as soon as our chains are loosened and I can't help but keep an eye on him. What if I just killed him?
Honestly, I can't believe he's even standing after what they just did to him. He's limping and hunched over grabbing his side, but he's still standing and walking around.
"Are you okay?" I ask, feeling incredibly stupid after the words leave my mouth.
Of course, he's not okay.
"Yeah, Shizuo. I'm just peachy," he replies hoarsely between breaths.
Stab.
I tried goddammit.
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