AN: Hey guy's, I know I keep saying this but your response to this story has just been amazing. Thank you all, so much. To everyone who has reviewed, thank you so, so much for your kind words. I'm sorry I haven't replied personally, believe me I want to, but for some reason it won't let me. When I log onto my reviews it doesn't display them, so while I can read them on my emails, I can't reply. If anyone knows how to rectify this, please let me know. In the meantime, thank you again for taking the time to let me know how much you're enjoying this, the reviews really do inspire me. Anyway, here's chapter 4 and it's the longest yet, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think.

"I'm worried about, Mom. I haven't seen her since Robin's wake, and whenever I go home she's either not there or doesn't answer…"

Henry was sat on a stool at Snow and Charming's breakfast bar, staring vacantly down at his inactive phone.

From behind the open refrigerator door Emma's blonde head popped up, casting her son a concerned glance as she drank orange juice straight from the carton. Snow's scolding tut quickly stopped her, and wiping the back of her hand across her mouth, Emma obediently placed it back in the fridge.

"Don't you use your key?" She asked, closing the door and coming to rest on the stool opposite the author.

The teenager shook his head, "When she's in she puts a protective barrier over the house, I can't even get my key in the lock!"

"Give her time honey, she's grieving," Snow encouraged, affectionately ruffling the boy's hair in a way that was so similar to his adoptive mother. "Sometimes people just want to be on their own for a little while."

From the table across the room, where he was sharpening the blade of his sword, Charming scoffed, "When did being alone ever help, Regina?"

"David!"

He looked up at his wife, his eyes widening, "What?" He asked innocently, "We all know what happened last time she was grieving and alone!"

"And she has already ripped up half of the town," Hook agreed, walking into the kitchen to stand possessively behind Emma. "The boy's got a point, a quiet Evil Queen is never a good thing…" he tilted his head, "at least not in my experience!"

"I'm not a boy," Henry argued, suddenly defensive, "and my Mom's not the Evil Queen anymore. If she is responsible for the tear in the forest, then I'm sure there's an explanation for it."

An awkward silence encompassed the room and Snow frowned, studying her daughter curiously when she didn't immediately jump in with a response. "Emma, your very quiet," She noted pointedly, "Didn't you go to see her the other day?"

Emma's only reply was small nod.

"Did you ask her about the tear?"

This time the blonde looked up, meeting her mother's gaze across the breakfast bar, "I asked her if she was okay," She replied, agitated, "Because that's what real friends do. They look out for each other."

From the tone of her voice it was obvious that she felt Regina was being unfairly judged and Snow was quick to pick up on her anger. Her face softened when she realised just how harsh the words sounded.

"Of course they do honey," She agreed sweetly, "I didn't mean you should have accused her of trying to destroy us or anything…."

"No," Emma cut in sarcastically, finishing the sentence for her, "Just casually slip into the conversation that everyone she cares about thinks she's gone dark again!"

"Emma!"

"Your mother didn't mean that," David chastised, uncertain why his daughter was suddenly so protective of their one-time enemy. "We care about Regina, of course we do, but there's also evidence that we can't ignore and with her past…"

"She did it." Emma stated bluntly, thinking it easier to be truthful then to let her family speculate.

Snow blinked, "Excuse me!?"

"She did it," The blonde repeated, shrugging, "she admitted it to me."

"And you didn't think we'd want to know?"

Snow's voice grew sterner, an irritated tone that she rarely used, it was enough to suggest to Emma that her mother was already assuming the worst.

"I know that you want to know," She replied determinedly, "But I didn't want to tell you."

"Why not?" The bandit challenged calmly, "Is she the Evil Queen again?"

Emma sighed and rubbed at her throbbing temples, "Mom, she was always the Evil Queen," She reasoned, "She just dropped the Evil. And no, I refuse to believe that she's reverting to her…former self."

Charming stood up, walking across the loft to join his family at his wife's side, "What do you mean you refuse to believe it?" He asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

Losing confidence, Emma's eyes darted uncertainly around the rooms other occupants, "When I confronted her she didn't exactly deny it…" She replied, her voice trailing off.

"Bloody hell, Swan, you've known that the Queen has been back for two days and you didn't think to bloody tell us?" Hook was annoyed, but there was an underlying fear in his expression that Emma didn't miss.

"I didn't tell you because…" The saviour sighed heavily, "I think it's an act. The Evil Queen is her armour, and I think she needs that right now. I don't think she'd ever truly hurt of any of us."

Behind her, her lover scoffed, "Easy for you to say love, you're not the one she'd try to bloody kill."

Snow paused to consider the point, surprising her daughter when she chose to side with Regina. "I agree with, Emma, Killian. If she wanted you dead, she would have done it the second you walked into the diner. Regina was never one to waste an opportunity."

"It hasn't stopped her from ripping the town in half…" The pirate protested.

Pocketing his phone, Henry spoke for the first time since the start of the conversation, "I love Mom," he admitted truthfully, "and I know that she's hurting, but I have to agree with Hook. If she really means us no harm, why is she destroying Storybrooke?"

"She isn't," Emma replied, reaching across the bar to take her son's hand in hers. "It's a way for her to vent her anger and I…." She cleared her throat, "I sort of gave her permission to do it…"

Four pairs of eyes landed on her, all burning with the same question, but the blonde didn't need to hear it in order to offer an explanation, "Well it's better than the alternative, the last thing any of us needs is for her to start ripping hearts out instead!" She took a deep breath, "Besides, there's been much less damage over the last few days, maybe she's found a better way to cope."

"Or maybe she's planning another bloody dark curse!" Killian argued. Snow agreed.

"Emma, I hate to say this but if she really told you that the Evil Queen was back then I think we need to be worried."

"Your mothers right," David interjected, ganging up the blonde as though she were an insolent teenager. "I want to believe the best in her but the circumstances surrounding Robin's death are very similar to Daniel's…"

"And when she was talking in the diner, that was all the Evil Queen!" Snow added, finishing her husband's train of thought.

Emma sighed, understanding the root of her parents concern but finding herself completely unwilling to accept it. She shook her head, ready to make a case for her argument but her father cut her off before she could begin.

"You didn't know her then," He explained gently, his eyes flicking between the blonde and her son, "neither of you did, and you don't know what a vengeful Regina is capable of. Maybe we should put her under house arrest? I don't want to lock her up when she's grieving but I think we need to monitor her movements. You could put a barrier up around the manor, make sure she doesn't leave…" He suggested.

Emma found her anger rising and she couldn't hold back on her caustic response, "And while we're at it why don't we slap one of those magic blocking bracelets on her too? For god's sake guy's the woman's heartbroken and we're supposed to be her friends. Did it ever occur to you that it was this kind of heartless attitude that caused her to turn evil in the first place?"

She had no idea where the outburst came from, but at Snow's hurt look, she instantly regretted it.

"Emma, we did nothing in the Enchanted Forest, she turned against us…"

"Maybe that's the problem," The Saviour pressed, refusing to surrender the fight. "You did nothing! Maybe if you'd done something she wouldn't have felt so alone. I won't let her feel like that again."

Killian stepped closer to the blonde, placing a loving hand on her shoulder to try and calm her unexpected rage. "Love," he began softly, "the Evil Queen will kill me if she gets half a chance. Are you really prepared to risk my life, for your friendship?"

The ground began to shake beneath them, various pots, pans, ornaments and photo frames rattling nosily in the small loft. "Speak of the devil!" he rolled his eyes. "What was that you were saying about her stopping this destruction?"

Emma stood, having finally heard enough of their negative opinions, "I don't agree with holding her prisoner," she replied firmly, "and instead of treating her like a savage animal, I'm going to go and talk to her like she's a goddamned human being."

The room fell into stunned silence, and in a puff of white smoke, the Saviour was gone.

At first, when I heard Emma defending me, I thought I'd made the right decision by deciding to stay at the manor and not lock myself away in my vault. It was difficult to learn how much my forced solitude was hurting Henry. After all, I decided to do this for him, to protect him from the true colour of my tainted soul. But finally having someone fight in my corner helped me to realise that I'd made the right choice for once, I was on the right path.

And then the Charming's threatened to lock me up. And Hook made Emma choose between him and me as though sacrificing a life wasn't one of the darkest things a person could do.

In my fragile state I'm not strong enough to repel the lure of dark magic when it promises self-preservation. I've never been the strongest of people, years of abuse at my mother's hands ensured that I'd never be one to speak out. It was only when I met Rumplestiltskin, when I discovered the sheer power of the magic running through my veins, that I realised no one would ever control me again. And no one ever has, except the very darkness that I harnessed to protect me.

I've spent most of my adult life watching my enemies plot my downfall through a mirror, and it never gets any easier. But watching helplessly as the family I just risked my life to save contemplate imprisoning me in my own home… it reminded me of my banishment, the last time I was locked away from society for my own good.

Why is it that Hook can harness the power of the Dark One in an attempt to destroy us all, and we still risk everything trying to save him? Why does Rumple freely walk the streets when everyone knows that he's our single, biggest threat? Why do so many people continue to go unpunished yet the second I slip off my path to redemption, they want to lock me away like some hell-bent demon? Is it any wonder why I let the darkness protect me? Is it any wonder why I never truly trust them?

Since Emma's last visit I've been doing well. Her support gave me hope, a belief that just because life's unfair it doesn't mean I have to rage war against it. I felt better, stronger, I dared to believe that with my best friend by my side I could get through this dark period.

But hearing my family so quickly turn against me, it made me fear a return to loneliness, and after fighting so hard to ensure that I'd never be alone again, I felt scared.

I don't wat to destroy my town, I don't want to be the person that everyone fears, but if I'm tossed into the night without a single care for my feelings then I will do whatever it takes to protect myself.

"Why are you still doing this?"

As quickly as Emma's image disappears from the glass, I hear her voice in my study. The town is still shaking, a prolonged attack from a fearful heart. Even the presence of a Saviour can't calm the darkness inside of me. I turn to face her, my expression an emotionless mask as she looks past me to the mirror behind. She frowns.

"Wait, you're spying on us?" She challenges, looking more disappointed than angry.

I snort, detesting that she caught me doing something so…weak, and thrust my hands onto my hips. "I'm not spying on you," I reply, barely containing the disgust in my voice, "I was checking up on my son."

At her disbelieving look I scowl, "I hate to break this to you Miss Swan but if my aim was to spy, I wouldn't choose to do it on a family that can barely scrape together a single brain cell!"

The insult is designed to hurt, but Emma doesn't break so easily. She ignores the dig, choosing instead to focus on the root of my anger, "You don't need to watch Henry through a mirror," she cajoles gently, "You could just let him in when he comes here to see you."

She offers the suggestion as though its one I could never have envisioned on my own. It's yet another reminder that none of them really understand me, none of them know what it's like to constantly struggle with the desires of your own black heart. Rather than confess the truth, I take the opportunity to show her that I know I'm not trusted.

"Oh could I?" I growl, my voice dropping an octave, "Would that be before or after your father imprisoned me in my own home?"

Her shoulders slump, green eyes filling with regret at the unfair threats of her parents. She knows as well as I that no one ever gives me chance to prove myself, and I can't deny that she has always been the only one to stand by me.

"He's not going to do that!" She promises, but I take little comfort from her hollow words. Charming is headstrong and fiercely protective, if he sees me as a threat to his family he'll do whatever it takes to keep me away, and his daughter knows that.

"He probably won't have too," I reply bitterly, unable to refrain from pointing out Hook's role in my predicament, "by the time your boyfriends finished drinking his body weight in rum the entire town will know of my return. I'll have an angry, pitchforked mob at my door by dawn!"

She sighs, "You're overreacting!"

"I'm overreacting!" I exclaim, failing to see how any of this ridiculous charade equates to wrongdoing on my part. "They haven't even spoken to me and they've got their buckets of water at the ready!"

Despite my anger she chuckles at the metaphor, a warm, lazy smile creeping across her alabaster skin, "Water is your sister's weakness, not yours," She teases lightly. "Yours is…" her brow creases in confusion, "I don't even know what yours is…but you can't you blame them? You're ripping their town in two."

However well intentioned, the implication that this town belongs to anyone but me incenses me. A sharp pain shoots from my heart, spreading across my chest. It brings a surge of darkness with it that increases the earthquake exponentially until the very walls of my manor are shaking.

"My town!" I shout, the Evil Queens possessive nature coming out to play, "Storybrooke is my town. I designed it and I built it, and if I want to destroy it brick by brick that is my decision."

A stack of official papers that were piled neatly on my desk tumble to the floor, and a picture falls off the wall. Emma braces herself against the violent shaking, her eyes wide as she scans the trembling room before they finally land back on me. On seeing my vicious expression, she raises her hands defensively.

"Regina, stop," She orders, raising her voice so that it carries over the sound of a house shaking from its very foundations.

I can't, what's happening is tied to my emotions and I'm upset. A part of me wants to admit that to the blonde, but if I do that then they'll all know my weakness. Fear causes me to opt for the more threatening option.

"No!" I reply, determined to prove that this destruction is completely under my control. If their scared of me, they'll be reluctant to harm me further.

"Regina, stop," Emma commands, pointing out the window to the street outside, "or you're going to do some serious damage out there!"

She steps towards me, to do what I don't know, but when her hand touches my arm a rush of warmth, of pure love, rushes through me. It unbalances me, smothering the darkness that rushes through my blood and the shaking instantly stops.

"Thank you," Emma half smiles, certain that I was the one who stopped the attack. For now, I'm happy to let her think that it was my choice, at least until I can figure out what the hell happened.

"You know," She continues once everything has stopped moving, "I really don't think you should listen in on our conversations while you're toying with the Evil Queen. Snow, Charming and Hook are always going to remember you at your worst and now they know that it's you doing this to the town, it's only natural that they'll worry about how far you're prepared to go. And we both know that the more they suspect you, the angrier you get."

Anger burns inside me once more, the nature of her thoughtless words fuelling a hatred that I long thought dead. But to my surprise, the town doesn't start shaking again. Whatever happened when Emma touched me, it was water to the fire that rages inside me.

"Hook will always remember me at my worst?" I snap, unable to believe that Emma could speak so out of turn. "When did he become a paragon of good? The last time I checked he was just as willing to maim, rape and murder as I was!"

That revelation seems to knock the wind out of the Saviours sails and she staggers back a few steps, her face white with shock, "He…he raped…people?" She stutters, her voice suddenly small.

I smirk, aware that I've won the upper hand as my press my face to hers. We're practically nose to nose as I stare her down with wickedly joyful eyes, this is where a Queen should be, on top.

Feeling uncomfortable with my close proximity, Emma begins to back paddle, but her follow her step for step until she has nowhere left to go and her back hits the wall of my study.

"He was a pirate dear," I hiss, enjoying the ease with which I can ruin her image of Hooks perfect reputation, "How else do you think he satisfied his urges!"

She swallows sharply, searching my expression for any hint of a lie as she presses herself further back against the wall, "I-I just never thought he'd be like that…" She admits.

"But you have no qualms in believing me capable!" I reply, laughing coldly at the hypocrisy of the situation, "What an unsurprising double-standard."

Her expression falters, the implication of her words becoming clear to her. She quickly shakes her head, "It's not like that," She backtracks, desperately trying to take back an accusation she knows that she can't. "Regina, I'm sorry but with Graham and everything…"

"I may have controlled Graham's heart but understand this my dear," I drawl, "I never had to force him into my bed. While your one-handed lover had to rely on brute strength to get what he wanted, I just used my natural charm."

Pressing my advantage, I decide to see how far I can push this new power play between us. Leaning further into her, I brush the tip of my nose across her soft cheek and whisper hotly in her ear, "It's all in the voice," I tease, blowing gently across her neck as I stick my chest out provocatively, "the body language…"

I pause for long enough to press the full length of my body against hers, pinning her to the wall. She gasps, and I smile at the nature of my victory, "…the subtle press of a hip."

She swallows again but it's for a whole other the reason than the one before, and I hear the slight change in her breath. The way it speeds up and deepens, the tiny increase in the size of her pupils. "Why Miss Swan," I grin, "I do believe I could even seduce you if I ever decided it was worth my while…"

She wets her lips, those piercing eyes drifting down to my parted mouth, "But…I'm a woman…"

I laugh, shocked to discover that lesbianism is something she considers taboo to me. If I had a penny for every female lover I'd taken…well I probably wouldn't have had to cast the dark curse in the first place. I could have bought my happiness.

"Yes, believe me I'd noticed," I flirt, making a show of dragging my gaze the length of her body, "and I could do things to you that would make your toes curl. Things that pirate of yours has never even heard of…"

The mention of Hook seems to pull her from her lust induced state and her eyes meet mine, "So what?" she goads, "This is your idea of vengeance? Fucking me?"

My grin widens, my hand sweeping up to rest on her hip bone, "Well I didn't know the option was on the table but if you think it would break Killian's heart…"

With a rough shove she pushes me away, her expression hardening, "Back off lady," She warns dangerously, "If you took anything from that conversation you rudely overheard you'd know that I'm the one trying to help you!"

"Oh I do believe the Princess is rattled," I chuckle darkly, ignoring the tiny part of me that agrees with every word Emma says. "Feeling a little hot and bothered are we?"

"I'm feeling pissed off," The blonde corrects, her voice rising with her anger. "What are you trying to prove here, Regina? That you'd fuck your best friend for payback? Do I really mean so little to you?"

Her last question strikes deep at the heart of me and the game suddenly losses its charm. I frown, masking the hurt behind a blank expression, "Do I really mean so little to you that you'd drag me all the way to the Underworld, place the lives of everyone I love in danger, and then stand back and do nothing while the God of death murders my true love?"

She takes a deep breath, uncertain of how and when we resorted to such underhanded tactics, "I'm sorry," She swiftly apologises, realising her mistake. "I'm sorry that happened to Robin, but I'm sorrier that it happened to you."

It's the first time anyone's apologised for what happened. The first time anyone's acknowledged that I was the one forced to pay the highest price. But instead of resolution, it just brings more pain, pain that cuts so deep I can barely breathe.

"I don't want your apologies," I reply, placing some much needed distance between us. "I want you to know what it feels like to lose, just once."

That pitying look is back, the one I despise being directed at me, "Would you really destroy this town to do that?" She asks gently.

It's a question that I can't answer. My magic is no longer under my control and I have no idea how far my grief will push it to go. Instead, I confess to the root of my darkness.

"I had a dream that I killed, Hook," I state, not proud of my murderous thoughts. "I shoved my hand into his chest and I ripped out his heart."

Her jaw drops open at my confession, her eyes widening in shock, "Is that what you want to do?" She asks. When I don't reply, the question turns into a demand, "Regina, is that what you want to do? Because if it is, you should know that there is no way in hell I'm letting you hurt anyone I love."

My heart breaks further, the pain in my chest as real as if she'd just stabbed me with her father's newly sharpened sword, "But it's fine for them to hurt me?" I ask.

Once again she understands the painful impact of her words, "Regina I didn't mean…"

But it's too late, the damage is already done. I know exactly where I stand with these people. I'm a pawn, useful in attack but always the most expendable.

"Just go, Miss Swan," I whisper, wiping at tears that threaten to fall. "My fight isn't with you, at least not today."