Hey everyone! Thank you a million for sticking around through my mini hiatuses. I have a lot of school to catch up on as my graduation grows near. I just got into college and am now floating on air about that. Yet, this excitement about reaching adulthood leaves me with so little time for writing. However, I would never leave you all hanging and I am happy to present the next chapter. Thank you all for sticking with this story and I hope you enjoy this. Leave me a review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks - Sydney :)
Pregnant was the one word that still hung over Alex's head for the next two weeks. Two weeks he went without telling Norma, two weeks he spent watching her go about normal tasks without a second thought, two weeks he sat guilty for everything that was happening. His anxiety was rising up and up and over again every single second he kept her condition a secret. Not his proudest moment as a man but what was he going to do? He still didn't wanna pretend to be happy. He couldn't pretend to be happy over something that caused him great and genuine fear.
Norma hadn't suspected a thing about herself and that's what drove Alex to the absolute brink of insanity. In some twisted way, he felt mad at her for not being able to piece it together. He also felt paranoid that she knew but wasn't going to tell him because internally she knew that he was keeping it a secret. He silently and foolishly wondered if she was gonna wait until she was bulging and ready to deliver to say or suspect anything.
As for interaction, things were normal. Alex was the caring husband who would do anything, even go out of his way to please her and make her happy. Norma was the seemingly content wife who would, on rampant occasion, have doubts about their situation but in the end suck it up and learn to be happy with her loyal mate. They hadn't been fighting and their union was still in the sweet honeymoon phase which only made Alex feel guiltier.
Once Norma finally got over her illness, offerings of sex became more and more frequent. It was on nights that Alex came home early and she had not yet fallen asleep, wanting to reward him for being such a good man and making her so happy. Those were the worst. This night was different however, he could feel the tension in the room, so thick one could poke at it with a surgical knife.
He left the station early with a bottle of scotch ready and raring to go for the hour block he had after Norma fell asleep and before he was too tired to drift off with her. Then he entered the bedroom and those plans were squashed at the very seams of origin. A binding leather teddy and handcuffs strapped tightly around the wrists. That was how he found her ready to go on their bed. Eyes full of want, mouth plump, and breathing still steady.
"Anytime you're ready, Sheriff," she purred, plopping down on her stomach, waiting for him to tease at her skirt or simply shove it up to her lower back and plow her straight from behind. She'd been waiting for weeks. It had to be now or else matters would just have to be taken into her own lonely hands.
The way she fell onto her belly, the way the leather most likely chained her skin up, those cuffs pinching her veins. None of it was going to be a good outcome for their impending child. He needed to make her stop and veer away from sex before the baby was put into any harm. Though he really didn't want it, he certainly wasn't going to let harm come to it's way.
"Norma," he began, walking over to the bed and lifting her gently from the position she was in, "Please, not tonight." His words were left hanging as he searched around the room for the keys to her cuffs, they were on the bedside table and eventually he got her hands free. "And, take that off. It certainly can't be comfortable for you."
"Okay," she huffed, smacking her hands to her thighs, and re-plopping down to the bed, this time perching on her bottom. "Are you screwing someone else? Please, just tell me know and I'll give you five minutes to collect your shit and leave. Just tell me her name before you go, okay?"
The eeriest thing about it was that her tone was simple, she wasn't mad or sad about it. This seemed to be like something she'd been suspecting for a bit. Alex sat next to her and took both hands into his own, "I'm not seeing anyone else, Norma. I've just been really tired, okay? This town fires new cases at me everyday and I have no choice but to stay late night at the office and pull them apart. I'm sorry, I just haven't been alert enough to make love to you the way you deserve."
She narrowed her eyes at him and broke away, "You can't expect me to belive that can you? You walk in here night after night and turn me down for sex any time I offer, anytime I wear little get ups like this to get you going. We haven't done anything in two and a half weeks now. You haven't even been touching or kissing me for fucks sake! Do you not love me any more, Alex?"
Those words pierced through him like little knives to the heart. She was everything, he was more in love with her than ever before just not the situation they were in. Whenever she wanted sex the only thing in his mind was their baby, hurting it or scarring it in any way. It couldn't be normal to have sex with your pregnant wife, right? He didn't wanna risk something like that. Not to mention, he didn't deserve a reward like that, not after lying to her about the baby. He wasn't going to tell her, but he would try to smooth it over the best way he knew how. So he gathered her hand in his and kissed her cheek.
"Listen to me, please. I love you more than anything else in the world, okay? I've just been tired. None of this has anything to do with you or our sex life. I'm sorry if it seems I've been turning you down, I just want time to relax after everything work has been shoving down my throat. I promise you, Norma, this has nothing to do with you, okay?"
She sighed and clutched his hand tighter, "Okay, alright? I don't actually think there is anyone else. I just know something is wrong, I have that sense as your wife. You haven't been eating well, I notice you wake up at weird times during the night, and you seem very distant from me, honey. I'm worried about you. I don't know what's wrong and I can't help you if you won't talk to me," she explained, her concern laced throughout the tone of her explanation. If anything, sitting him down and talking about what had been ailing him meant more than the sexual issue.
It pained him to lie, even when she had that much concern for him. He'd never seen her be more sincere towards him in the time they'd know each other, besides their wedding vows that is. "I'm alright, it's just work stuff, okay?" he answered, feeling like shit for lying, essentially digging himself a deeper grave for guilt and despair. Everything she was saying was true, he had been acting different in all departments, and it was all because of the news regarding the baby. He was scared shitless to be a father, nervous for the day she'd find out on her own, and anticipating to see the results of being a mediocre dad to their child. Unless…
Unless he could convince her to give the baby up for adoption...or maybe the other alternative. Abortion. The thought permeated his mind with grand resilience. Did he want to tell his wife to have an abortion, to kill the little life they had created? No, of course not. But he knew he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle a baby yet. Never. Not after the first flop that happened. They weren't even in a good environment to have a child, not with the instability Norman held or with the shady characters that stepped in and out of their lives.
Norma nodded and rose from the bed, "I'm gonna go and take a shower. I'd ask to join but," she broke to sigh, "I already know what you'd say."
With that, she left the room and as he collapsed back on the bed all he heard was shower jets. Adoption, abortion, denial, divorce. These were the only thoughts popping in and out of his mind on repeat as he stared up at the ceiling.
What was he gonna do?
Thank you for reading and I hope to have something crafted for all of you soon! - XOXO
