AN: Wow guys, 100 reviews and nearly 200 follows! I cannot thank you all enough! Chapter 11 is dedicated to each and every one of you, and it's one that I'm immensely proud of so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Sorry for any tiny mistakes, and love it or hate it, let me know what you think ;-)

The world feels a little less dark today. The streets of Storybrooke, a little less lonely. After our dream date last night – a term I'm certain Emma wouldn't appreciate but I find somewhat endearing – I woke feeling strong enough to venture from my vault. It's the first time I've been outside in nearly ten days and amazingly, everything seems so different now.

Isn't it funny how one special person can make the whole world vibrant? I've never noticed how truly picturesque my town really is. It was built on a bed of hatred as a prison for revenge, but when I look at it now, all I see is love.

I carved the streets and painted the buildings from the memory of a dream. An ideal life created without my knowledge, a friendly community where everyone cared and people welcomed the fact that I was the one in power. Though it was done subconsciously at the time, for I was far more concerned with plotting my victory, Storybrooke is everything I ever wanted growing up. A safe haven, a place to call home, a town bursting with family, friends and warmth.

It may have taken me a long time to see it – the best part of thirty-three years to be exact – but Storybrooke is my happy ending. Now all I need to do is convince a certain blonde sheriff that her happily ever after is standing right by my side.

I've thought long and hard about our dream. Why Emma called me there in the first place, what it was that she truly wanted to say. Whether or not she ever intended to kiss me. And the only conclusion that could possibly make sense, is that she's scared.

Emma is a runner; she always has been. When her life gets too tough, when someone threatens to get too close, she pulls away. Though I'm certain that she'd tell me she's no longer like that, that Hook was the one who broke down her walls, I beg to differ. While Hook has undoubtedly been good for her, she still hasn't truly let him in. They've never shared True Love's kiss, and despite whatever tale they spin they didn't pass the test of True Love either. I split her heart in two with my own hands so that she could share it with him for eternity, yet her magic physically rejected the move. And yes, I am more than aware of the irony that I was the one left holding the other half!

No matter how I view this, whatever angle I come at it from, I can't help but feel that Hook was simply meant to clear a path, to open Emma's heart to the possibility of love. And I'm now more certain than ever that I'm the one meant to swoop in and sweep her off her feet.

I have spent a lifetime living in fear of love. I was so scared of getting hurt that I chose hatred instead. Emma wasn't born when I spent every single night alone in my cold castle, creating Storybrooke and planning the dark curse, but I do believe that even then her name was written on my heart. I unknowingly froze myself in time, I stopped myself from aging until the blonde had the chance to catch up with me. We were two souls lost and alone in the world, two women with so much to give but no one to share it with, until the night a nervous bounty hunter knocked on my door.

I have waited a lifetime for Emma Swan, and I know in my heart that she has waited just as long for me. We are true love's, of that I'm now certain, and I will not stop until the day I can finally call her mine.

From across the street I hear the sound of raucous laughter and look up, half expecting to find Dopey doing something completely uncouth and ridiculous as usual. Instead, I'm surprised to find the street empty.

The noise has clearly come from inside Granny's because the place is packed full, a strange and unfamiliar sight for a Thursday afternoon. Curious, I decide to take a detour from my path to Emma's house, and quickly cross the road.

I push the door open to find the diner bursting with more fairy-tale characters than Disneyland, but it isn't the impromptu party that makes me see red. It isn't even the hand painted banner that reads welcome home, Killian. No, the thing that makes my blood boil and my heart painfully constrict, is the sight of Emma sat cosily in a booth with her head resting affectionately on the pirate's shoulder as she laughs at something her parents have said.

The vibrations start small, nothing more than a slight rattling of the bell above the door. But when the floor begins to shake beneath our feet and the crockery begins to dance across the shelves behind the serving counter, everything stops. The laughter dies, the smiles fade, and every eye in Storybrooke turns to me.

Unexpectedly finding myself the centre of unwanted attention, I defensively fall back on old habits, "Well, isn't this just adorable!"

My voice is dripping with venom, the acidic tone of the Evil Queen, and though I couldn't stop it if I tried, I take comfort in the protection that she never fails to offer.

Grumpy is the first to find his voice, bravely stepping forward as if he somehow has the power to stand against me.

"Back off sister," He instructs, his tone that aggressive growl that has always been all bark and no bite. "This town didn't survive the Underworld just to get ripped apart by you."

I feel my trademark sneer slip into place, instantly reminded of his recent threat against me, and take a menacing step towards him. "Oh you were there where you?" I ask sarcastically, "That's funny because I don't recall seeing you, Dwarf!"

He squares up to me, straightening his shoulders and puffing out his chest in way that is more laughable than intimidating, "Well I'd have been a damned sight more helpful then you, Witch!"

I resist the urge to laugh out loud at his petty insult, though it's amusing to think that after all these years he still believes that his words can unhinge me. I raise my arm to silence him with a wave of my hand, but before I can unleash my magic, Snow jumps in to intervene.

"Grumpy!" She chastises, playing up to her role as mother of this town. When she turns to me her gaze softens, "Regina, I know how this looks but we weren't hiding anything from you…"

"No of course not," I gripe, irritated by her show of sympathetic pity, "My invitation just got lost in the post!"

"Mom, please don't be angry," Henry pleads, standing from his position sat opposite Emma to stand by his Grandmother's side, "We just wanted to do something nice for Hook…"

The sound of the pirate's name causes the pain in my chest to increase exponentially. I raise an authoritative hand to silence him, scared that if my anger continues to grow I'll lash out at my defenceless son.

"Henry!" I warn, the motherly scold enough to stop him in his tracks.

"Well I'm with you, sis," Zelena interjects, gently rocking my sleeping niece as she punctuates the air with her biting sass. "I said this was a bad idea from the start. I mean, if the lovebirds hadn't created this entire mess in the first place then Hook never would have gone anywhere that we'd have had to welcome him back from."

"Regina…"

The overlapping voice stands out from the crowd, and when my eyes follow the sound I'm not surprised to find myself looking straight at Emma. For a split second a serene calm washes over me, she's left her boyfriend's side, has stood up from the table to focus solely on me. She sees me, she notices me, I matter. But then her pirate stands up next to her and wraps his arm around her waist, claiming her, dividing her attention, and the pain returns sharper than ever.

"Don't Regina me, Miss Swan," I snarl, gritting my teeth as the shaking turns into a violent rumble. "Not now, not after this."

Either brave or stupid - and considering her ancestry I'm inclined to go with the latter - she ignores the warning sign of a town shaking on it's very foundations and continues regardless.

"You don't understand," She fruitlessly tries to explain. "This wasn't my idea. You know what this town is like for throwing unnecessary party's…"

"Yes," I bite back, tiring of her endless excuses and blatant denial, "and if I recall I wasn't welcome at any of them either." I narrow my eyes and dangerously scan every person in the room, "Did it not occur to any of you idiots that as a member of the rescue team I might have earned my invite? Or was the thought of my grief too much for such a happy soiree?"

"Calm down, love," Hook intercedes, raising his hands as if his influence would ever have a bearing on my state of mind. "We wouldn't want to destroy the town now would we?"

My glare shoots to him and I can almost feel the tempting fireball forming in the palm of my hand. "Calm down?" I shout, glorifying in the way that half the room flinches and takes a cautious step back from me. "My lover sacrifices himself in the quest to bring you back alive and all you can say to me is calm down? Try sorry, Pirate. Or thank you…"

"Regina, we didn't do this to upset you," It's Snow again as the Charming clan take it in turns to valiantly try and tame the Queen, "But we are all relieved that Hook came home, and Robin's been gone nearly two weeks now. We have to start living our lives again someday."

"Oh really?" I reply through gritted teeth, the shaking now so violent that plates are tumbling from the shelves in the kitchen. "Well let's see how well you can live your lives with a tear down the centre of the town…"

"Regina, stop!" The Saviour commands, heroically stepping forward to challenge the out of control villain that everyone is poised to label me. "I can clearly see that you're hurting, but we both know that Robin's death or a lack of invite isn't why you're doing this."

In an ideal world Emma would have been referring to our kiss, but the knowing raise of a single, blonde eyebrow indicates that she's vetoed that little occurrence and has chosen to blame it all on my unrequited feelings instead.

Defeated, I come to realise that Emma will not be lured out of the closet today. My eyes lock onto hers, conveying the disappointment I feel at her cowardly rejection.

"I should never have left my vault," I state, but the admonishing words are aimed more at myself than the blonde I'm speaking to.

Desperate to retreat, I concede round one to the pirate that she so desperately clings to and turn on my heel, swiftly exiting the busy diner.

I'm barely half way up the path before I hear the door open behind me.

"Gina wait!" Emma calls out, bounding down the steps to chase after me.

"What now, Miss Swan?" I sigh, stopping in the middle of the road to confront her.

She almost walks straight into me, only stopping the collision at the last second, and when our eyes meet once more whatever she was about to say is quickly lost. She stares at me blankly, green eyes studying every inch of my impatient expression. Finally, she finds her voice once more.

"What the hell was that about?" She demands, looking every inch the hero this town expects her to be.

I scoff at the audacity of her selective ignorance and fold my arms across my chest, "I know you're not the brightest heart in the box but I'm pretty certain that even you can figure that out!" I reply brusquely.

She immediately tenses, "I-I would have invited you I just didn't think you'd come…"

"I came last night didn't I?" I snap, tiring of her refusal to address the proverbial elephant in the room. "When you called me to your dream."

Her chin tilts up defiantly, "You were there first. How do we know that you didn't call me?"

"Because I never spent any time at that playground when it was real!"

My words are blunt but I'm growing weary of this game, and I'm far too refined to be caught up in such a petty, immature, squabble. If Emma wants to ignore what happened between us then that's her choice, but I won't be pulled along for the ride.

She frowns in confusion, determined to maintain her ignorance on the subject, "What has that got to do with anything, anyway?"

"You kissed me, Miss Swan!" I reply firmly, unsure whether or not she intended to force my hand. "You kissed me, and that gave me something…" I want to say hope but the word sticks on my tongue, "…it made me dare to step out of my self-made prison for the first time in over a week." I lean in so that we're face to face, contempt lacing my every word, "And what do you think was the first thing I saw?"

Her eyes widen almost comically, "Gravestones?"

"You and Hook," I inform, unamused by her ill-timed humour, "all over each other, playing happy families and acting as though nothing at all has changed."

She's taken aback by that, "We weren't all over each other," She corrects, huffing in offence. At my disbelieving look she takes a deep breath, "Regina I know that things have changed, especially for you, but what do you want us do? Stop living until you're feeling better again?"

"I want you to acknowledge what happened between us!"

There's a second of absolute silence, that moment when you both realise that the truth has been set free and you can't escape it no matter how hard you try. I said I wouldn't stop until she was mine, but I hadn't intended to declare myself quite so brazenly.

Emma quickly breaks eye contact to stare at the still shaking ground, her face flushing in embarrassment. "Nothing happened between us," She denies, though her argument lacks strength.

"Then why wasn't I invited?" I challenge, accepting that there's no reason to protect her any longer. "You can deny the truth all you want but we both know you were scared that if I came, Hook would see what's really going on."

"And what's that?" She replies, her voice rising to an angered shout. "That I'm suddenly being stalked by a crazed Evil Queen?"

My hand strikes her cheek before I even realise what's happening and though the assault is uncharacteristic of the new me, I don't regret it for a single second. Shocked, Emma reaches up to touch her stinging flesh, but even at the pained look in her eyes I can't bring myself to apologise.

Pain erupts from my heart. It's a crushing feeling that couldn't feel more real if the blonde thrust her hand into my chest and physically squeezed the life out of me. Maybe she didn't deserve to be assaulted, but I deserve better than to be brushed aside like a discarded toy.

"Go to hell, Miss Swan," I snarl through clenched teeth, outright refusing to give her time to reply before I disappear in a blanket of purple smoke.

Re-appearing moments later in my vault, I let my rage consume me. Conjuring up a fireball, I hurl it at what's left of my mother's notes with a frustrated scream. Watching in satisfaction as they incinerate before my eyes.

I don't blame Emma for her fearing what's between us, it's strong, powerful and completely beyond our control. But it hurts to be in this alone, to see the way she looks at me even as she continues to deny her feelings. My happy ending has never been so close, and yet so utterly out of reach.

The smoke rising from the ash of my mother's work has barely cleared when Emma appears beside me in a plume of white. Her eyes instantly land on the target of my recent outburst before she turns her uncertain gaze to me.

"Regina, I'm sorry…" She begins, but I've heard enough of her fickle apologies.

"You've been saying that a lot just lately!"

"I know," She agrees, in a voice laced with regret, "but I really am. You know I don't think you're the Evil Queen, and you didn't deserve that."

I find that I can't ignore the sincerity of her words and sigh heavily. The pain in my chest eases slightly in her presence, and I'm suddenly more understanding of her difficult position.

"Fear can make us do terrible things," I reply, forgiving her easier than I ever would have in the past, "Believe me I know."

"Fear?" She repeats, and I know in an instant that she didn't come here to admit to her feelings.

Despite a desire to simply magic her away, to banish her from my company until she's ready to face reality, I find that I can't. The truth is that I'm single and available, there's nothing stopping me from accepting the way I feel and yet I still find myself struggling. If Robin hadn't died I might have remained as oblivious to this as she is. If I'm ever going to win her heart, then I need to do it with patience and tenderness.

"We kissed," I reply gently, "and being in a relationship with Hook I know that must have been confusing for you…"

"We didn't kiss!" She rudely cuts in, her eyes flaring with barely concealed anger. "For god's sake Regina, it was just a dream!"

In spite of my decision to do this right, my own anger flares at her hurtful excuses and I spin around to fix her with a deadly glare.

"But it wasn't just a dream was it?" I challenge, my voice rising to match hers, "It was lucid. We we're both fully aware of what we were doing at the time and you, Miss Swan, kissed me!"

Her shoulders slump in resignation as she realises that she can't hide from the truth forever, "I know!" She finally admits, and the confession lessens the pain in my heart. "I know I did." She runs her hands through her long, loose hair and begins to pace up down, "God I know I screwed up and I'm sorry," she apologises again, "but that doesn't change anything you know that I…"

"…love Killian?" I interrupt, finishing the predictable sentence for her, "Yes, so you keep saying."

I close the distance between us, gripping her hips tightly to stop her pacing, "But can you honestly say that you wouldn't kiss me now, right here in the waking world, given half the chance?"

Our eyes lock for what feels like the millionth time and her whole expression dissolves into one of deep longing. Emerald green orbs flick down to my lips but she still can't find the courage to speak the answer that's written all over her face.

"I-I wouldn't," She lies.

Overcome with emotion, I take a huge risk and propel her back against the wall, claiming her mouth with my own. The kiss is hot, vicious and wet, a complete contrast to the tender moment we shared in our dream.

I force my tongue into her mouth, unsurprised when she welcomes it with a desperate moan, wrapping her arms around my back to pull me flush against her body. She tastes of bear claws and Granny's coffee, exactly how I always imagined a kiss from her would taste, and I growl low in my throat.

When she slides a leg up to hook it around my waist, pulling my hips into hers, hot desire floods every never ending in my body. I want to ravish her, strip her naked and make her scream so loudly that she completely forgets Killian's name, but now is not the time for such drastic measures. If I move too fast, push too hard, then I'll scare her right back into her pirate's arms. No, this has to be a subtle seduction. I have to make her come to me.

Nipping her bottom lip between my teeth, I groan as I give it a sensual suck before breaking the kiss completely. I can't prevent the resulting smirk of triumph.

"You're a terrible liar, Dear," I gloat, unashamedly.

The dreamy, lust filled expression disappears from her beautiful face as she roughly pushes me away, "Regina stop," She orders, as if she wasn't at all to blame for the heated moment we just shared, "Just stop."

I step away from her to lean against the wall as she pushes completely off it, putting some much needed space between us.

"You had no right to do that," She berates, trying and failing to not look aroused. "I have been nothing but supportive of you since you told me how you felt and this hasn't been easy for me either you know!"

I roll my eyes at her overdramatic response but it only serves to anger her further, "I was the Dark One," She continues relentlessly. "My boyfriend died and then came back, my friend died trying to save him, and my best friend told me that she was in love with me…"

"Oh woe is me," I mock, heightening the pitch of my voice in a poor imitation of the blonde, "I'm Emma Swan and my life's so hard!" I curl my lip in distaste, "You really are every bit the princess, aren't you, Princess"

Her jaw clenches as I emphasise her unwanted title in a drawn out drawl, and she shakes her head in exasperation, "Sometimes I don't even know why I bother trying to help you," She rebukes, ashamed by her response to my kiss and trying to overcompensate for it, "I should have given up on you when the rest of this town did."

Her voice is dripping with disdain, her eyes blank and emotionless and that's when I realise that I've pushed her too far. She's a second from running and if I don't give her a reason to stop she might never come back.

"Emma…" I begin, my voice softening as I offer her an understanding smile, "I know I promised that I wouldn't come between you and Killian, but you started this. You kissed me."

Thrusting her hands into the back pockets of her jeans she tentatively looks away, knowing my words to be true and hating herself for it.

"I know you're worried about your relationship with Hook," I press carefully, "and maybe worry is all that this is…" I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the confession about to come, "But I used to think I was in love with Robin and yet the more I spend time with you, the more I look at you and really see you, the more I doubt that I ever was. You need to take a long hard look at your life and decide if your pirate is really the one you choose."

For a brief moment our eyes lock and in the silence of my vault a thousand words are exchanged between us, endearments we can never say aloud and feelings we can never show. It's a look of raw longing, that instant when every molecule in your body calls out to another.

She opens her mouth to say something, but from her unreadable expression it's hard to say what and the sentence never materialises. Before I can say anything further, she's disappeared in a puff of white magic. I find myself alone once more.

xxx

Later, when I'm lying in bed and contemplating the events of the day, my phone vibrates on the nightstand. Reaching out, I snatch it up. The screen illuminating the room with Emma's name.

I do love Killian

I release a breath, possibly the same one I've been holding since the blonde left this afternoon. Hope is a very rare thing for me to place my trust in, and once again I've been betrayed by it.

I return my phone to the nightstand and stare sightlessly into the dark. Despite her parent's timeless love story, their struggle to defy all the odds in order to be together, Emma has taken the easy option. For the first time since this all began, I allow my tears to fall.

A minute later my phone vibrates again, and I pick it up to see that Emma has sent me another message.

But I've always wanted you

Since the moment I woke up this morning my day has been an emotional rollercoaster but at last, it's one that will end with a hopeful smile.

Killian Jones 1, Regina Mills 1

Game on.