Dean gaped at them. His head was spinning. "You're letting me go back," he stated, his voice surprisingly calm and steady. "And your betting on what Sammy'll do."
"Yes," Lucifer said. "We want out brother back, we can't get him without you and we owe Sam it. For, you know, stopping the Apocalypse."
Dean couldn't breathe. I get to see Sammy. Oh God, I miss him.
Gabe winked. "Want to go right away, wait until the funeral, or wait until Sam's at the Bunker?"
I'm leaving Heaven... He drew a deep breath, trying to rationalize the thoughts swarming his head. "Could I...could I visit a few people first?"
"Your parents," Asmodei said with a deep understanding. "Yes, I can give you maybe ten minutes before we have to leave. Time is different here, you will have been dead a few days and buried if I give you much more time. Currently you've been dead for nearly a day and a half."
"Why weren't they in my Heaven?" Dean asked, ignoring the fact his body was still on Earth. "My perfect life would be us all together."
"Heaven isn't really a perfect life, per say, but a twisted mass of memories. You never got to truly know your mother so she isn't in yours and you loved your father but hated him, the conflict between you wouldn't have been Heaven. They reside together in a jointed paradise with Bobby."
A lump formed in Dean's throat. "Do they know I'm...dead?"
"No," Gabriel said quietly, his tone for once was completely solemn. "You should visit them before we take you back."
In unison, the Angels put their hands on Dean's arm and whirled him off. This time Dean didn't care about the notion of flying but rather the fact he would see the people he loved so much.
When they landed, he was momentarily disoriented. Then a soft voice called out to him, "Dean?"
Dean's eyes focused on the woman in front of him. She was wearing a white sundress, her blonde hair shone like the sun, her face permanently youthful and pretty. But it was her eyes that took his breathe away. Green, not quite as bright as his own, but light and loving and oh so just...indescribable. "Mom?" he whispered.
Mary hurled herself at him, almost like a lost child. She gripped the back of his jacket tightly, pulling herself on him so that their faces were the same height. "Dean," she choked, her voice full of tears not yet shed. "Oh baby. I heard the rumors, I...oh baby boy."
Dean buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in the sent of cookies and flowers and warmth. He felt like a child needing his mom, and he supposed that was not far off from what he actually was. Mary pulled away. "Why are you here?" she asked. Even with a blotchy, tearful face she was gorgeous.
"The same reason everyone else is here," Dean said, wiping his eyes. "I'm dead."
"No," she snapped, voice fierce. "You are NOT dead! You can't be, not yet."
Dean laughed. "God," he murmmered. "You and Sammy are so similar."
"Is he here too?" Mary asked worriedly. "What happened to you?"
"Oh no! No, don't worry about him. He's alive."
She looked at him sympathetically. "He must be a wreck. Even at a few months old he loved you so much, probably more than he loved your dad or me."
Dean grinned at the floor. "Yeah. Listen Mom, I don't have long. Uh, long story," he said in explanation to her confused look. "Angel's still need me, I'm going back to Earth, they're bringing me back."
"Why-" she was cut off by a door slamming and a conversation stopping mid-sentence.
Bobby and John stood at the doorway, each holding a bottle of beer. "Dean," breathed Bobby.
"Hey," Dean said, smiling at them. "Long time."
John set his beer down on the coffee table in the middle of the room. It was the first time Dean even noticed where they were. The old house, the one Mary and burned in. "Dean," John said. "What did you in?"
"God's big sister," Dean said calmly, as if it was normal. "Angel mojo to the back, yeah, it wasn't fun."
"God's sister?" Bobby said disbelievingly. "How?"
John let out a low whistle.
Mary looked stunned. "John!" she snapped. "What have you done to my babies?"
John looked confused. "Wait, what?"
"Why couldn't you let them have a normal life? You gave them so much responsibility, Dean was four when I died! Sam only six months!"
"Mary we've been over this!"
"You and your excuses," she said acidly. "They were babies still and you made them feel like the only thing they could do in the world was kill!"
"If-"
"SHUT UP!" Dean roared. Everyone fell silent, looking at him. "I have five minutes left. Want to know what happened or not?"
Everyone backed off, Dean took it as a yes. "Sam and I may have accidentally released the biggest bad the world has ever known, her name was Amara. Um, we also may have released Lucifer, I mean it wasn't actually us, more like Cas. You know who he is right?" Dean's voice broke on 'Cas.' They really needed to find him. Dean needed him.
"The Angel who pulled you of of Hell," John said. "Bobby told us."
"Thanks Bobby," Dean said. "Cas knew Lucifer was probably the only thing in the world who could stop Amara other than the absent Father, God Himself, who was nowhere to be found. Anyways, Cas said yes to become Lucifer's vessel and we never knew until weeks after it had happened. Sam found out first. Then Amara captured him, tortured him and months later, in a small hotel, I felt her start to hurt Cas, and I felt her kill him. That happened what, two nights ago? Night before I died. Yeah, so I was angry and I wanted to kill her, I was furious. Sam had to physically stop me from going after her then and there."
"Why were you so upset?" John asked, interrupting Dean as he took a breath.
Dean turned to him slowly. "What?" he asked, voice a forced, terrifying calm.
"Everyone dies eventually in this gig, why were you upset if an Angel died? They don't have souls, they're in it for the power."
Bobby and Mary froze, sensing John had hit a sore spot on Dean who replied icily, "Cas wasn't in it for the power. He loved humanity, all of it. He chose Sam and me over Heaven time and time again, even when we were stripped of out 'greater good' he chose us, me. Sure, he made mistakes, some bigger than others but when we needed him, he was there, he chose us over Heaven and Earth. He spent a year running in Purgatory to keep me safe, he stayed behind so I could get out, he's died for us a few times before. And why was I upset? Why did I want revenge? Those were your questions?" John stared at him, trying to force him to back down.
"What's your reason boy?" he said softly and rudely.
Dean smirked. "Why'd you want revenge on what killed mom? What drove you to get it no matter what you did to anyone else? Think, you know why."
John eyes widened. "Oh," he said. "You think you loved him, you think you loved the Angel."
Dean moved closer to John, they were almost even in height. "Seven years," he hissed. "Seven damn years. It's not 'think' anymore. It's 'know.' Accept that Dad." The scars on his back tingled with distant yet sharp memories of sharp pain.
Mary stepped in between them. "John, Dean," she said. "Calm down."
Dean stepped back. "Screw you John Winchester."
"Dean," Bobby reprimanded. "I've always taken you as the brother most like Mary, calm yourself ya Idjit."
Dean closed his eyes, focusing on calming himself with memories of Sam and Cas. "I'm good," he said. "I'm good." He glanced over, Mary was still speaking softly to John in a tone low enough that Dean couldn't hear her. "Good," she said louder. "Continue Dean, please."
Dean nodded. "But Mom, you...you're good with..."
"If you love him, I wouldn't dream of saying anything negative."
Dean gave an uneven, shaky exhale. "Thank you."
Mary crossed the room and hugged him gently. "I'm just happy that you found something to love and hold on to."
Dean blinked back tears. "Anyways, we called Gabriel and told him. He joined the fight and we went after Amara. It was just me, Sam, Gabe, and Crowley, but Lucifer joined us."
Bobby made a sharp noise in the back of his throat, like a chunk of food was lodged there.
"Lucifer isn't actually half bad when we're on the same team," Dean said softly. "He's not going near Sammy as long as I can stop him though, not after the soul incident. We got to Amara and, okay so this is a fairly important part. She touched my soul because I had resisted her, something I could never do before because of how we bound through the Mark of Cain."
"Mark of what now?" Bobby asked.
"Long story short," Dean said. "We needed to kill something with the First Blade and you needed the Mark to wield it correctly. I took it, it killed me, it brought me back, Sam removed it and it released the Darkness."
Mary looked sick. "How many times have you died?" she asked.
"A hundred or so," Dean said, shrugging. "Courteously of Gabriel. Sam's only at six or seven."
John let out a low whistle.
"When she touched my soul," Dean continued. "She discovered a brand on it, a claim, a mark. It was Cas's Grace. Then I tricked her, I distracted her..." The memory of her body pressed up against his, her rapid heartbeat against his chest made him shiver. "And Gabe freed Lucifer. They shot at her with some Archangel thing, light from their palms. It weakened her but...but she deflected some of it. My back was turned and it hit me, I dunno if it was on purpose or not. God, it felt like my veins were on fire, I couldn't do anything and I heard Sammy yelling. He...he tried to stop the bleeding. He wanted me to survive so desperately and he wanted me to be able to kill Amara like he had promised me I could, because of what she had done to Cas." Dean thought of the bloody, still body lying on its side off from the fight, Cas still wore the tattered trench coat when he died. His heart twisted. "Sam carried me over to her and before I could stab her she asked me how I resisted her. I told her why, I told her who had left a claim. Then I killed her and then I died." He looked straight at John. "If I didn't love Cas, if I didn't love Sam, the world would have been destroyed." The word loved tasted strange but beautiful on his tongue. "My love for them ended it Dad, and your love for mom started it. Now I'm going back, the Angels want me to help get their brother because they love him."
As if on queue, Asmodei, Gabriel, and Lucifer appeared. "Dean," Asmodei said softly. "It is nearly time."
"One second," Dean said. He walked over to Bobby and hugged him tightly. "If you see Ellen and Jo please tell them I'm sorry and I miss them."
"Sue thing Idjit," Bobby whispered into Dean's shoulder.
Mary came next. "Hey Mom," he said softly and he hugged her. "I'll tell Sammy I saw you. Also, you might want to find a Charlie Bradbury, you might like her, she's really sweet. Also a Kevin Tran, he's brilliant, like you. If you do find them, tell them I miss them and I'm so sorry for everything."
"I will. Remember Dean, we all love you. No matter who you love or what Apocalyptic events you and your brother start, we will always love you. Tell him that too."
John came last but not least. For a second they stood a few feet apart, not looking each other in the eyes. Then John pulled Dean into a quick hug and murmmered, "find your Angel, okay son?"
Dean felt tears burn in his eyes. "I will," he promised. "Thanks."
Just as he turned to the Angels the door opened again. A tall, thin, pretty blonde walked in. "Dean," Jessica said softly. "I'm late I see."
"Jess..."
"I heard you were here. Is Sam...?"
"No," Dean told her. His throat closed up. "Jess, if I hadn't gotten Sam that night...I'm so, so sorry."
"It's okay," she said kindly. "Thank you for taking care of him. Tell him I love him and I'm not mad, it's an honor to have assisted him into becoming the amazing man he is now."
Dean felt like crying even more. "I will." He turned to Gabriel. "Answer me this, will Sam get up here too?"
"Of course," Lucifer answered, cutting Gabe off. "You and he share one."
Okay," Dean said, relieved. "Take me back." The Angels put a hand on his shoulders and instead of the calm sensation of flight he normally felt, he began to fall down
down
down.
