Hey, guys! I'm really sorry that this update is late, but I wanted to make it really good for you guys and I couldn't work on it until today because I've been really sick all week. So, without further ado, here is the party!
Disclaimer: I do not own TMI.
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Chapter 21:
56 minutes. That's how long I had been lounging on Clary's couch "patiently" waiting for her to finally be ready for this party. If this wasn't Clary, and she hadn't been a bundle of nerves over this party all week, I probably would've left without her by now. Or at least dragged her out the door regardless of whatever half-dressed state she was in.
Isabelle had let me in on a secret earlier, telling me that Clary was so nervous about going to her first real party that she had asked Isabelle what she was supposed to wear. It was kind of adorable how ignorant she was of the interworking of high school.
"Jace Herondale!" she called from her room. I sat up in anticipation. "If you dare laugh at me, I'm not going to this party and I'm never leaving my house again."
I laughed at her poor attempt of a threat. "Come on already!"
She slowly stepped out into the hallway and crept into the living room. I leapt to my feet just as my jaw hit the floor. Clary was wearing a black dress that hugged her body and was short enough to be a shirt on Isabelle. While the dress itself left little to the imagination, Clary wore a black leather jacket on top of it to preserve her modesty. On her feet she wore black boots that hugged her calves and were zipped up to her knees. She had her hair messily pulled back from her face. But my favorite part was that she wore the bare minimum of makeup, and she looked all the more beautiful for it. She had never looked more fierce or sexy.
She flashed her teeth in a cocky grin. "You like it?"
It took me longer than I care to admit to remember how to speak. "Love it."
She shoved her phone into a pocket of her jacket and strolled towards the door, her hips swaying lightly as she walked. "Then let's go."
I grabbed her arm as she walked past me. "Hold on," I murmured. I reached behind her head and lightly tugged out whatever had been holding her hair back. Her curls cascaded down her back and bounced over her shoulders. Her hair was a little messy, and I had to take a step back to keep myself from running my fingers through it. My voice was thick when I spoke again. "Now we can go."
We were both silent the whole way there, though for different reasons. I still hadn't recovered from watching my lifelong best friend turn into a terrifyingly beautiful woman. Clary, on the other hand, was obviously turned mute by the coil of nerves growing in her stomach.
When we finally pulled to the side of the road about a block away from the party – the closest spot I could find – I thought Clary was about to hyperventilate. She reached to open the door, but I put a hand on her arm to stop her. "You don't have to do this," I gently reminded her.
She stuck out that stubborn chin of hers. "I know." Her voice was stronger than I would've expected. But years of a practice let me hear the slight waver in it.
"Why did you agree to go anyway?"
Clary's gaze drifted to her lap. Between the dim glow of the streetlights and the dashboard, I could just barely make out the blush on her cheeks. "No reason."
I knew her much better than that. "We're not leaving this car until you tell me," I threatened half-heartedly.
She played with the hem of her jacket as she spoke. "Well, before I felt like if I went with you, everyone would just think of me as a loser party crasher."
I waited for her to continue, but when she didn't I urged her on. "What changed?"
Her voice was suddenly much quieter. "Someone else invited me as well."
Every muscle in my body tensed. Don't panic, I reminded myself. Maybe a girl invited her. I forced myself to keep my emotions out of my voice. "Who?"
"Sebastian Verlac." The words rushed out of Clary's mouth, merging into a single syllable, and the moment they passed her lips she was already flying out of the car.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a long, deep breath before I followed after her. I don't know if I was madder at Clary for agreeing to basically go on a date with the biggest ass in school, or myself for letting this slip past me. As I looked down at her sweet face illuminated by the soft glow of the night, I realized that it was neither. More than anything, I was hurt. Hurt that Clary seemed to have little regard for the fact that that kid used to make my life hell. Hurt that the outfit she was wearing was for him and not me. But most of all, I was hurt that an invitation from me meant nothing to her, while an invitation from him was enough to make her agree at the drop of a hat. Perhaps it wasn't just my feelings of more than friendship for her that she didn't reciprocate, but our entire friendship as well.
A senior was standing at the door, collecting five dollars for a red plastic cup that would allow you to drink all night long. I paid for both mine and Clary's.
No matter my feelings, I would never have ditched Clary at her first ever party, especially considering the magnitude of it – the entire house was packed with bodies, and several had spilled out into the yard as well. However, that isn't to say that I wasn't immensely relieved when Helen Blackthorn, a sweet girl in our grade, swept Clary away from me the moment we were through the door.
Clary looked over her shoulder at me with an expression that told me she was sorry for ditching me, but I merely shrugged and made my way over to the closest source of alcohol. I hadn't planned on drinking, considering I drove, but Clary's little confession had changed my mind rather quickly. Besides, I doubted she would drink, and even if she did I could always piss off Alec again and ask him for a ride.
It turned out that the closest source of alcohol was a station set up for mixed drinks. I made a Jack and Coke with a considerably higher amount of Jack in it than Coke. I drained that in seconds. The second time around I said to hell with the Coke and just poured a cup of straight Jack. This one lasted only a little longer.
When I heard my name called across the room, I expected it to be some girl looking to hook up. I knew that if it was, I wouldn't say no. I had one secret that I had never actually told anyone – though Clary had guessed easily enough. My secret was that after my parents died, and Robert and Maryse took me in less than enthusiastically, I felt alone. I felt like there was no one in the world who truly loved me, other than Clary. But the love of a friend could in no way replace the love of two parents. So I started to look for love in other places, i.e.: girls. There was something about the way they looked at me, clung to me, and sighed my name that just made me feel like I was not only important but loved. For that short window of time, I forgot that my "parents" didn't want me. All I knew, was that someone definitely did want me.
It got better when I got closer to Jocelyn and Luke. They could never replace my parents of course, but they could make me feel loved and welcomed. But by the time I was basically adopted by them it was too late, and I was stuck in a bad habit. Clary's the only thing that had ever had the ability to keep me away from the bimbos.
Now I didn't have her either. I had no one. No one returned my love. Hell, Isabelle, Alec and Max were all probably just pretending to care about me to make their parents happy.
But when I turned around, I found a guy from the football team standing there. We talked for a few minutes about why I quit the team after freshman year, and then we both went our separate ways. He went to find his girlfriend, and I went to refill my cup.
I spent the next hour of the party pretty much the same way. Someone would seek me out – usually guys – and we would talk for a couple minutes, and then I would wander again. Periodically I would refill my cup, but I cut myself off after five. I wasn't really a fan of being drunk. I usually just drank to the point of numbness.
I was trying to find a garbage can to get rid of my now useless cup, and I assumed the kitchen would be the most likely place to find one. In order to get to the kitchen, however, I had to make my way across the dancefloor which was packed with bodies. Instead of going through the thickest part of it, I deferred to cut a path around the edge of it where there were less people. And by less people, I mean there was just barely enough space for me to walk through.
I was about halfway through the crowd when some guy bumped into me and nearly knocked me over. I was truly numb from the alcohol by that point, so I was perfectly content with just ignoring it and continuing on my journey until I saw exactly who had bumped into me. Sebastian.
He spun around and narrowed his eyes at me. "Watch where you're going, Heron-dick."
The childishness of the insult revealed the extent to which Sebastian had been drinking. I rolled my eyes, again preparing to simply walk away. The alcohol in my veins had numbed me enough to be unbothered by Sebastian, but no amount of alcohol could've numbed me enough to deal with his dancing partner. I looked down to find Clary wrapped in his arms, her body pressed tightly against his, her eyes wide as they stared at me.
My knees buckled slightly, and I felt like I was going to be sick. A knife was stuck in my gut and each second that my eyes were locked with Clary's was another twist of the blade. I had not cried since I was ten years old at my parents' funeral, sitting beside Clary on that hill, but in that moment, tears sprang to my eyes. I was Jace Herondale, king of being numb and masking emotions, but seeing the girl I loved grinding up against someone she knew had hurt me time and time again was too much for me to handle. It wasn't just that though. It was the realization that every time she held me, whether it was that first day of kindergarten in the boys' bathroom, or my parents' funeral, or the millions of nightmares since then, all of it had meant nothing to her.
I was unable to hide my emotions at this point, and there was no way I was crying at this party, so I shoved my way through the crowd and ran out the door and to my car as quickly as I could.
I fumbled with my keys as I tried to shove them in the hole to unlock the door, but my hands were shaking too much, and I ended up dropping them. I bent down to retrieve them, and that's when I heard her voice calling after me. I wiped the tears off my cheeks and composed myself as best as I could before I stood and turned to face her.
She was breathless by the time she caught up to me, her heeled boots grasped in her hand. "Jace," she panted. "Let me explain."
I shrugged. "Nothing to explain. You're a big girl; you can date who you want."
Her face hardened. "Stop it."
I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Stop what?"
She dropped her boots on the ground and shoved her palms into my chest. I didn't even stumble. "Stop acting like nothing hurts you!"
I flinched at the truth of her words, but quickly put up a mask of anger. "Fine. You want me to be honest? Okay. You're a selfish bitch. I thought you were my friend!"
"Jace-"
"No!" I cut her off, my voice rising considerably. "Let me talk! All these years I thought you actually cared about me, but you just pitied me. You felt sorry for me, so you pretended to like me. Then, at the soonest opportunity you run off and throw yourself at the asshole who had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault my parents were dead!"
Clary was angry now, her arms flailing wildly as she spoke. "Like you're one to talk! I'm not the one who fucks anything in a skirt like it'll solve the world's problems!"
Someone across the street was taking out their trash and paused to watch our exchange, but I paid them no attention. "You just proved right there that you weren't really my friend, because if you were, you would've known that I'm still a fucking virgin! All those girls who said I slept with them lied." There it was. My other secret.
Clary's eyed widened, and it was clear she was completely taken aback. "What?"
I continued on as though she hadn't spoken. "Oh, and by the way, Sebastian is only trying to get in your pants for a bet. He and a bunch of guys made a bet for who could get you into bed the fastest since you don't date anyone." Clary took a step away from me, tears pooling in her eyes. "And like a fool I stood up for you. Just like I did with Meliorn."
"Jace," she whispered.
I ignored her. "When I kissed you, and then you wanted to forget about it, I was hurt, but I could've lived with it. I could've pushed aside my feelings for you and still been friends. But then I saw you in there, grinding up against Sebastian, and I knew the truth. Not only did you not love me like I love you, but you don't even want to be friends with me." I took a shaky breath and dragged a hand across my cheeks to wipe away my stray tears. "So, Clary, have a nice life and thanks for all the memories." My voice dripped with venom.
I turned to unlock my door again, when suddenly Clary's arms were around my neck and her lips were pressed to mine. I stiffened for a moment, still caught up in my anger, but after a moment I couldn't help but melt under her touch. I wrapped one arm around Clary's waist and tangled the other in her beautiful hair. I could feel the dampness of Clary's cheeks, but I chose to ignore it. After this, I promised myself, I would never speak to her again. This would be it.
I don't know how long we stood there, on a sidewalk in the suburbs at midnight, kissing each other senseless when finally Clary pulled away enough to let out a small sob.
I pulled her away from me and set her gently on the ground. I prepared myself to say goodbye to her, to leave the past eleven years of our lives behind. But then I met her wide, tear filled eyes. No matter how mad at her I was, no matter how much she hurt me, I couldn't leave her standing all alone like this. So I just stood there.
She took a few minutes to compose herself before she finally spoke. "I thought you felt bad for me, thought I was a loser."
My brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I thought you only kissed me because you felt bad for me."
"I kissed you because you were in pain, and I love you."
She looked at her feet. "I know that now. But at the time I was embarrassed and hurt. I was stupid to think that Jace Herondale would actually like a girl like me. So I used Sebastian as a way to try to forget about you." And just like that, my anger was gone.
My hand shook slightly as I reached down and brushed away a stray tear. "Clarissa Adele Fray," I breathed. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've been in love with you since I was seven years old." My lips curled in the ghost of a smile. "It just took me a while to figure it out."
Clary leaned into my touch. "I never wanted to hurt you, Jace. I love you so much. I didn't mean to hurt you."
I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. "I suppose I can forgive you," I whispered.
Clary's eyes were still the size of saucers as she looked up at me. "Is that true? About the bet?"
I looked down at my feet, too ashamed to meet her gaze. "Yes. I didn't want to tell you, but I guess it's too late for that now."
Clary's quiet for a moment, then, to my surprise, she grins. "Well, I think it's safe to say that you're the winner of the bet."
My eyes widened in surprise. "Me?"
Clary took a step closer to me. "Yes, considering you got me into bed about four years ago."
I laughed loudly and pulled Clary tightly to me. "Seriously, though. Want me to go in there and teach him another lesson?"
Clary pulled away just enough for me to see her grin. "I have a better idea."
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Oh, boy! What's Clary got in mind? I hope it's good, because I really hate Sebastian. Aren't Clary and Jace just so cute together? Didn't you feel bad for Jace? I hate to see him sad :( But, finally, CLACE! Yay! So, let me know what you thought and please review!
Question: How many epilogues are too many? Two? Four? Five? More?
Love always,
YesIWriteForFun
