Dean moved without thinking. As the knife descended he rolled, seizing as he hit the floor and rolled away. He felt the whoosh of the blade going past his ear, felt the dirt it disturbed as it hit ground. Cas...his Angel was trying to kill him. "Castiel," he said slowly, feeling Sam pull him up. "Cas, Cas come on. This isn't you."

"No," snarled Cas, a crazed look in his eyes. "But it's what you've done to me."

Sam stepped forward, shielding his brother. Cas was dangerous and he couldn't loose Dean again. "Sam get back," Dean murmured.

"No." Hard determination rolled into his voice.

"Sammy..."

"Dean no." Lucifer and Gabriel grabbed his arms and pulled him away. "No! Stop!" he hissed, twisting, trying to break free but the Archangel's were stronger than him. He stopped struggling, waiting for their grips to loosen but they didn't.

"Sam," Lucifer said quietly. "This is Dean's fight, not yours."

Sam felt irritation and fear rise in his stomach. "Let me go," he said softly, forcing calm into his voice. "I swear to God that if he gets hurt because you wouldn't let me go I will run an Angel blade through your chest."

Gabriel sighed, watching as Cas began to circle Dean like a wolf to a sheep. His eyes felt an impossible amount of pain. "I know you want to help him, believe me, my brother's also out there. If things get deadly we will intervene."

Sam relaxed slightly, praying to anyone listening to let his brother be alright. He knew Dean would never be able to live with himself if he had to kill Cas and he knew, or was certain he thought he knew, that Cas, however far gone be seemed, would never be able to forgive himself should he kill Dean.

"Dean," Cas whispered. "I look forward to killing you." There was a sadistic smile on his face.

"You can't," Dean said, faking a confident air. "You wouldn't."

"If you're so sure then why are you scared?"

Dean froze for a second. "I'm not," he said.

Castiel chucked. "But you are, you're scared I'll kill you. But that's not all is it? You're scared I'm lost, or at least 'Cas' is. He's gone Dean, you've destroyed him."

Dean's hands trembled. "I don't believe you."

Castiel shrugged. "You should." He lunged forward, placing a blow with the hilt of the blade across Dean's face. "Stay," he commanded, seeing Sam make to move forward. "I have remaining Grace Samuel." With a flick of his wrist the three ex Angels and Sam froze.

He turned back to Dean, blood stained his dirty blonde hair red. The skin at the top of his head had split open from when the hilt had hit. "Cas," Dean said. "Castiel. Come back."

Castiel snarled again, pushing Dean down, running the blade down his skin and relishing in seeing it split. He laughed softly as Dean gasped from the pain. "This is just the beginning Winchester."

Dean didn't know what to do. Cas was gone, anything Cas had felt for him was gone, the weapon he relied most on- love- was useless in this battle."Cas," he whispered. "Cas come on, I know you're in there. Please."

The scene unfolding reminded him painfully of something else, years ago, with the Tablet. He struggled, trying to remember what he had said to make this stop, to break Heavens control. "Dean," Castiel said. "In another life I might be sorry." He raised the blade, positioned it over Dean's heart again, but this time there was no way for him to miss.

Dean placed a rough, scraped hand over the Angel's, clinging onto the hope with desperation. "Cas," he whispered. "I...Cas, I need you."

Castiel felt a knife jam itself into his heart as the words reached him, a painful reminder of how much he loved the man beneath him. He growled, staring down at the Dean. He leaned down towards his ear. "I," he whispered. "I don't care."

Dean seemingly went limp beneath him, all fight gone from his body. "You don't mean that," he choked.

"Try me," he snapped, shoving Dean's hand off his own.

Dean met his eyes fully. "If you hate me that much," he said. "Why am I still alive? Kill me." Castiel blinked. "Kill me you coward."

"I am not a coward!" Castiel said, fighting to keep up his iron face.

"You're scared," Dean whispered, green eyes searching Castiel's face. "You're scared emotions are going to make you weak, you've become addicted to feeling like this, like you can't be killed, being invincible. You're a coward, you hide behind these masks of not caring like a king in his fortress because you can't bear be seen as weak when really," he sighed out the last words. "You are one of the weakest. At least Castiel is, Cas however, he is one of the bravest men I have ever known."

Castiel was shattered by those words. He stared down at Dean, trying to rebuild the mask he had lost. "No," he whispered. "You're lying, I am no coward." But he was and it was undeniably, irrevocably true.

"Then kill me," Dean spit. "Prove it."

Castiel raised the blade, his heart breaking, but somewhere along the line he must have shifted, just enough, because Dean shoved him off of him and grabbed him by the lapels of the white dress shirt he wore under the discarded trench coat, and he kissed him.

And Castiel knew what falling truly felt like.

He didn't know what had made him do it. All Dean knew was that he could feel Cas's gasp of shock and the tremor that went through his whole body. He tasted blood and dirt and Cas under his lips and it was better than anything he had ever felt before. Better than dreams of a normal Apple-pie life, better than any hook up at a bar.

Cas started to kiss back and fireworks exploded inside Dean's eyelids. It was a dangerous dance, a flirtation to death and adrenaline seemed to pump through Dean's blood and he craved it. Craved Cas, wanted to breath him in forever.

Something snapped inside of Castiel.

Something snapped because Dean was kissing him with so much desperation, so much love. Castiel couldn't help but kiss back, wind his hands into that dirty blonde hair that was longer than it had ever been in the time he had been with them, to roughly part the man's lips to create an entrance for tongues.

It was desperate and it was hot and it was cold and, Hell and Heaven, it was it better than Castiel had ever dared to dream. He couldn't get enough. And he realized something.

From the second Dean had looked at him with those beautiful green eyes and had whispered, "I need you," the ex Angel had become 'Cas', no longer 'Castiel', the emotionless warrior of Heaven or a heartless soldier. He had become the weaker, softer man who loved and wanted just as much as anyone else, maybe even more.

Dean moaned against his lips but broke the kiss. Both men stared at each other. "Cas?" Dean whispered, his eyes uncertain. Blood still ran from his forehead from where Cas had slammed the hilt of the blade.

"Dean," Cas said softly. "Dean, it's me." He felt hot tears slipping down his face. "Oh God, Dean, I am so, so, sorry."

Dean pressed his forehead against the Angel's. "I know. It's alright Cas, it's going to be okay. Just relax, it's alright." He tried to soothe the Angel, whispering words into his ear that held almost no meaning because what Cas had done could never be forgotten, could never be forgiven.

But for some reason Cas believed those soft, cruel words.

AN: You're welcome ;) took them long enough, huh?

On a different note it seems that I have skipped several chapters somehow so I'm going back to try and change that and add more chapters in so if you were like 'is this missing a big chunk?' Yeah it probably was missing parts. I apologize if I screw up the order and for any problems it may have caused while you were reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter but don't get too cozy in the happiness- it might not last.