Chapter 17 - Part 1
"Your hands are shaking mate, let me help" Nick said as he watched how Alex's hands had trouble with the bow tie.
"I've never been so nervous before Nick" Alex said and removed his hands so Nick could do his bow tie. Of all the things Alex had ever did in his whole life, nothing topped this nervousness he was feeling right now. He looked at himself in the mirror as Nick took a step back - He was ready to marry Claire, the day had finally come. He couldn't help but smile at his own reflection as he thought of Claire and Charlotte, thought of the life they had lived for the past 5 years and the life that was waiting ahead of them.
"You have the speech ready?" Nick asked his brother. Alex nodded. He had been working on it for days, he had found it hard to get his feelings down on paper but he had finally managed, and the outcome of it was pretty good if he should say so himself. Alex studied himself in the mirror, trying to calm himself when he caught the reflection of Nick and his nephew John - he smiled when he thought about how crazy the last 5 years had been, he wouldn't have thought any of them would be where they were now, if someone had asked him 6 or 7 years ago. His heart filled with warmth when the little boy smiled back at him, Alex couldn't wait to have his own son and to teach him all the boy stuff Tess and his mother were preventing him to teach to Charlotte.
"So how's the baby making going?" Alex asked Nick. He knew they had been struggling for some time now. Nick looked at his brother with a startled look. "Alex, could you not? John has big ears" he said and sighed, before getting up from John's side, who was busy playing with a toy car. "But it's not going .. At all" he continued. Alex couldn't help but notice the sad look on Nick's face and he really felt for him. "I'm really sorry mate" Alex said and gave Nick a comforting clap on the shoulder.
"It'll happen with time, I'm sure" Nick said. "I just wish I could convince Tess about it as well"
"You know how the McLeod's women are, they always second guess you" Alex said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Nick shook his head and a small laugh escaped his lips, Alex was right.
"So what about you and Claire?" Nick asked.
"What about us?"
"Have you talked about getting another kid?"
"Well, we aren't really trying. But we have talked about it, ages ago - We both want one or two more, but we have just been so busy with the breeding program and training the horses. The time hasn't exactly been in our favor, so I guess we'll see what happens" Alex said and his thoughts were back at his wish about having a boy.
Claire was standing in her bedroom, feeling overwhelmed by all of the feelings she felt inside. She had never seen herself getting married after what Peter had put her through, but in a few hours she would be Mrs. Claire McLeod Ryan. She frowned a bit when she said the Ryan name to herself, but then she catched a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she had to admit that the last 5 years had been wonderful, even with Harry involved in their daily lives. She couldn't wish for better grandparents for Charlotte, they had been amazing with her. Charlotte was indeed blessed with having such loving grandparents around her, especially Meg and Terry had gone out of their way to make Charlotte happy and spoiled rotten, they even had the title granddad and grandmother. No doubt all of them would be over the moon for another grandchild, which both Liz and Harry had been pushing for, for the last year - even more after they had discovered about the problems Nick and Tess had in conceiving another child after their son John. Her sister's relationship with Nick had blossomed shortly after BOM's first birthday. They had gotten married before her baby girl had turned 2 and had been blessed with a beautiful and healthy son not too long after that.
Claire placed a hand on her stomach and smiled - Harry's and Liz's wish would come true sooner than any of them expected. She had been feeling a little under the weather for the past weeks and she was starting to recognize the same signs she had had, when she was pregnant with Charlotte. At first she had shot down the idea, but as the signs grew stronger she finally gave in and took a pregnancy test - The test had shown her what she already knew deep inside, that her and Alex were going to have a second child and she was impatient to give him the news but at the same time she felt like she had to keep the secret to herself because she was scared of hurting Tess. considering her sister's desire of a second pregnancy and the struggles she had with it. She pulled herself away from the mirror and walked to the window. The stress factor due to the wedding sure hadn't made things easier for Claire. She simply hadn't found the right occasion to tell Alex. She got pulled out of her thoughts by Tess' voice. "Charlotte is ready, she looks so cute in her dress" She said and walked closer to Claire. "Are you okay?" she asked, as she saw her sister's wondering look. Claire shook her head and pulled herself back to reality, she was okay, more than okay. She was marrying the love of her life, she was pregnant with their second child and she couldn't wait for their lives as a married couple to start. And this time, Alex was going to be right beside her during the pregnancy, she still felt guilty about how she had denied him that with Charlotte. "Could you help me with this thing?" Claire asked and took the wedding dress in her hands. Tess smiled, even on a day like this her sister still wasn't too keen on dresses.
"Claire you look .. absolutely amazing" Tess said and couldn't get her eyes of her sister, as she stood in front of her in the wedding dress. She had never seen her glow like this before. "Yeah?" Claire asked to get Tess to confirm what she had just said. "You really do. Alex won't be able to get his eyes of you" Tess said and she could feel her eyes start to get watery. "You can't cry Tess - I'm not much for makeup, but on a day like this you can't ruin it" Claire joked as she tried to keep the tears in as well. Their moment got interrupt my Charlotte's gentle voice, calling out for Claire and soon Charlotte walked in the bedroom. "Mommy!" she said as she saw Claire and her little feet started to walk with great pace towards Claire and Tess. Claire kneeled down and embraced her daughter in a hug. She couldn't believe she was 6 years old already, it felt like it was yesterday she found out she was pregnant with her. Claire felt her whole body fill up with happiness as she pulled away from Charlotte and looked at her. "You look so pretty in this dress" she said and stroke Charlotte on the cheek. "You look pretty as well, you are the most beautiful woman on earth!" Charlotte said and brushed a bit of her hair away from her shoulder.
"You really think so?" Claire asked her daughter with a smile.
"Mmmh, you should wear a dress everyday" Charlotte said and crawled onto the bed.
"You are the sweetest thing, you know that?" Tess said and joined her niece on the edge of the bed.
"I knooow auntie, you keep telling me" Charlotte said, almost as she was tired of hearing it. Both Claire and Tess laughed as they looked at each other. "Charlotte, could you go find Jodi and tell her to get the horses ready?" Claire asked her daughter. "Yep. I leave my flower's here, so don't forget them" she said with a finger in the air and ran out of the room. "We won't" Claire laughed. Her daughter was getting so bossy.
"You'll never guess who her mother is" Tess said with a laugh. Claire placed herself beside Tess and looked at her. "Are you okay?" she asked and kept her stare.
"What do you mean?" Tess asked.
"About the struggling you and Nick are having?"
"It's hard, but I'm okay. Besides, we shouldn't be talking about this right now - We have a wedding any moment now" Tess said and got up from the bed. The truth was, that she wasn't okay, she deeply wanted a second child and was beginning to lose hope - but she wouldn't let that get in the way of her sister's wedding, all she wanted to think of right now was Claire's wedding and having a good time. "Claaaaaire" Meg's voice sounded from the stairs and her footsteps got closer to the bedroom. "We are running a bit … late" Meg continued as she got in sight in the door. "You look absolutely beautiful" Meg said and couldn't keep her eyes from watering. Claire smiled at her, she was the closest thing to a mum she had and seeing Meg react this way, meant more to her than she realised. Claire felt really blessed to have that woman in her life. She had acted like a mother towards her, and now was filling the role of grandmother for Charlotte. When Meg and Terry had decided to move from Drover's to their own place, on a bit of land near both Drover's and Killarney, Claire was scared that they were moving out of her life too. But she soon realised that the closeness of their new house meant that they were still able to get to their respective workplaces. And having her own house meant that Meg was finally able to have the big veggie garden she had always dreamed about! Even though Meg was living in her own house now, Drover's still felt like home to her, Claire knew that and it made her happy to think that she was not the only one for whom Drover's was everything. She still remembered how she felt when she thought that she was about to lose it all. It was hard to believe that something so good as Charlotte and her relationship with Alex, had come out of that dark period.
"Oh shoot" Tess said and looked at the clock on the nightstand. "We need to go now". The trio made their way downstairs and out of the house, towards the horse's stables where Jodi and BOM were waiting for them. Tess used to say that Claire was born on a horse, so there was no better way to make her entrance to her wedding than on a saddle. When they reached the stables, Charlotte was already on the pony she had received from Alex on her first birthday, and Jodi was standing near her holding the reins of Eagle and Oscar. Jodi was another person who had learned what Drover's really meant for her in the past years. After Charlotte's first birthday, she had set off on travelling the world, just like she had always wanted to. She had been out and about for a bit over a year, but then she had come back to Drover's Run, saying that no matter how beautiful the place she was in was, deep in her heart she felt that she wasn't where she should be, where she belonged to. She had started to love and appreciate the land just like Claire had her whole life. Upon her return, she had really been of help for Tess with the organic farming, so she was put in charge when Tess had moved in at Wilgul with Nick, where she had transferred her Alpaca breeding program too. Over the past years Jodi has really grown up and matured, she was no longer the whiny teenager who always tried to avoid hard work.
"You ready to go Jodi?" Meg asked and hurried on her.
"Yes I sure am - See you out there" Jodi said as she walked by Claire and Tess. "Oh, by the way. You look amazing Claire" Jodi continued. Claire smiled at her to let her know she appreciated her compliment. Even though she was wearing a dress, Claire mounted Eagle very gracefully, soon followed by Tess. The three of them started to ride out towards the paddock, where the ceremony was to be hold. They soon were passing by Becky's and Brick's cottage. This was another new thing on Drover's. Soon after Brick had proposed to Becky, Claire had been approached by her leading station hand, who had asked for her permission for Brick to move in to Drover's. Claire had agreed and was delighted to know that Becky wasn't thinking of leaving. After things have started going well with the breeding program and she had started earning good money, Claire had decided to demolishing the shearers' quarters to build a cottage for Becky and Brick. A cottage they soon were in need off, because not long after Becky discovered she was pregnant and to everyone's surprise her and Brick were expecting twins. The twins, Danny and Emma, were already two years old now and they really brought life to Drover's, not that Charlotte didn't - but it was different with toddlers. Along with John, the four of them really brought joy and laughter. The twins and John for that matter, had been making Charlotte beg for a little sister or brother the past year, she was almost as bad as Liz and Harry. Claire smiled as she looked at Charlotte who was riding in front of her and Tess, she couldn't wait to tell her she was going to be a big sister.
As they got closer to the paddock, Claire started to feel nervous and overwhelmed. She was going to be the center of attention and that wasn't really her thing, but she found comfort in the thought of Alex waiting for her.
He saw them in the distance and his eyes quickly seeked out Claire. He couldn't believe what his eyes saw, she looked even more stunning than he had thought and that was only from the distance. His heart started to beat faster, it was finally happening. He looked out on the crowd, they were all busy looking at Claire's entrance.
"Get down there mate" Nick said and placed his hand on Alex's shoulder. Alex turned his head to Nick and smiled at him. "Come on John, let's go" Alex said to his nephew and took him in his hand. John was supposed to be the ring bearer, a thing both himself and his parents were thrilled about, but also a bit nervous about - He wasn't that steady on his feet yet and the smallest things could catch his attention, walking down the aisle.
As Alex reached the start of the aisle his heart skipped an extra beat, when he watched Claire get down from Eagle in the most elegant way. Tess was coming towards him and John, to make sure her son was ready. "Daddy" Charlotte said excited and dismounted her pony.
"Hey there angel" Alex said and hugged her. "Could you go help John with the rings. Make sure he won't drop them?" Alex continued. Charlotte nodded and made her way over to Tess and John. Alex kept walking towards Claire, his soon to be wife. He thought she looked stunning when he saw her miles away, but close up she was even prettier. Her dress was long, slim fitted - making sure every good detail on her body got complimented. The back was made out of see through lace with a flower pattern. It looked like the dress was made for her, he had never seen her shine as much as she did in that moment. He couldn't help but smile as he reached his hand out towards her. "You look .. beautiful, pretty, stunning - I have no words" he said and felt tears pushing their way out of the corner of his eyes. Claire gave him a shy smile and looked down at herself. She wasn't comfortable in dresses and she was about to be the center of everyone's attention, which she didn't look forward to either. She looked up and caught his eyes and in that moment she knew everything was going to be alright - everything was going to be more than alright, she was marrying the love of her life in the surroundings of their loved ones. "Guys, we have a wedding to start" Tess said and interrupted their stare into each other's eyes. "Let's do this Mrs. Ryan" Alex said with a smile on his lips. Claire shook her head and placed her hand in his arm - he already made her much more comfortable than she was 5 minutes ago.
All the way down the aisle Claire felt the guests' stare on her and that was one thing that made her really uncomfortable, but Alex was quick to pick up on it - he lead in and whispered "We are almost there. Just look straight in front of you, think of me or pretend all the guests are naked". His words made Claire send out a quiet laugh and a smile started to appear on her lips. He always knew what to say to calm her down. Claire changed her focus to her daughter and John in front of them. Charlotte made sure to spread the flowers out nicely when she threw them and little John was very keen on all the attention, he waved at every single row of guest all the way down to the end of the aisle, where Nick took him in his arms until the rings were to be needed.
Alex and Claire reached the end of the aisle and stopped in front of the priest. They were to be married under a beautiful old tree near the old cottage, that had been in Claire's generations for ages. Claire had picked out the place because she wanted to feel close to Jack on a day like this, and this was the last place on Drover's he ever sat foot on. Alex turned his head to Claire and formed the three little words "I love you" on his lips.
"Good morning and welcome. Claire and Alex are so glad to have you here on this beautiful summer day - in a surrounding as special as this." The priest stopped for a second to clear her throat.
"Love is magic and a wedding is a celebration of that magic, and that is why we are here today. We are gathered here today to share Alex and Claire's joy for one another, to watch them seal the love for each other. I've married many couples in my lifetime as a priest, but I must say. I have never seen a couple quite like Claire and Alex who exudes how much they are suited for each other, as they do. It's truly wonderful for us to see. They are the example of how love is hard work, the promise of possibility and also the expectation of joyful surprise. We are here to celebrate, witness, honor, dance, laugh, sing, eat and be glad because of these two, who had finally found each other." Claire looked at Alex, her heart was filled with the love she had for him. She still couldn't believe this was all happening, it was like she floated somewhere in outer space and watched it all unfold under her.
"We give our thanks for the love that has gathered us together today, Alex and Claire's love. We give our thanks for their open hearts and loving spirits, our thanks for their courage to walk the path of true love and all the things that come along with it. 6 years ago they welcomed their beloved daughter, Charlotte, and I think we all know, she is to thank for this love to gain its strength - The birth of this beautiful girl made Claire and Alex see true love.
Marriage is a special place, where we can endlessly explore ourselves in the presence of another. As the writer Richard Bach has so beautifully stated " A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and can be completely and honestly who we are" Alex looked at Claire - the speech the priest was holding described his feelings so well, he couldn't believe it. He felt it strange to be hearing how he felt from a woman that barely know them. Was their love for each other that obvious?
"We can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise" These words hit Claire harder than she thought and she could feel her tears pushing to get out. It was true - she had always felt safe around Alex, even when they weren't together.
"Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction - Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life" This statement from Bach truly fits Claire and Alex. Throughout our lives we grow and we will always be growing and when we marry, we promise not only our own growth but also our willingness to witness and withstand the ongoing growth of another human being - That is because in marrying we promise to love not only as we feel right now, but also as we intend to feel.
In marriage we say not only "I love you today" but also "I promise to love you tomorrow, the next day and always"
Claire and Alex. I remind you that marriage is a precious gift, a lifelong dedication to love and a daily challenge to love one another more fully and more freely." And with these words the priest gave Claire and Alex the signal to turn to each other, before she continued. Both Alex and Claire was smiling with joy, never had they been this happy.
"Do you Claire Louise McLeod, take Alexander Marion Ryan, to be your beloved husband, knowing in your heart that you will be a faithful friend, and a loving companion? On this special day, in the presence of family and friends as witnesses, do you give your sacred vow that you will always be with Alex and support him, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow?Do you promise to love him completely, to console and comfort him during difficult times, to laugh with him and grieve with him, to share with him life's simplest but most enduring pleasures, to be truthful and honest with him, and to cherish him, for as long as you both shall live?" "I do" Claire said and got lost in Alex's beautiful eyes, she could see his smile get even bigger as she had given her answer.
"Do you Alexander Marion Ryan, take Claire Louise McLeod, to be your beloved wife, knowing in your heart that you will be a faithful friend, and a loving companion? On this special day, in the presence of family and friends as witnesses, do you give your sacred vow that you will always be with Claire and support her, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow?Do you promise to love her completely, to console and comfort her during difficult times, to laugh with her and grieve with her, to share with her life's simplest but most enduring pleasures, to be truthful and honest with her, and to cherish her, for as long as you both shall live? Alex pulled himself out of the sea that Claire's bright eyes reflected, tears started to roll down his cheek, he was the most happy human being on planet earth right now. "I do" he said and felt Claire's hand reach for his. "May I have the rings?" The priest said and turned to Nick. John walked on his unsteady feet towards Claire and Alex, with the help from Nick.
"Claire and Alex's rings are an external and visible sign of the internal and spiritual bond of love which unites their two hearts. May they serve as a seal of the vows Alex and Claire have made to one another. Bless these rings, symbols of eternity, beauty and strength. Bless the couple who give them and wear them - may the ever live in harmony, unity, love and happiness from this day forward.
Alex will you please give Claire your vows" Alex gathered his thoughts and swiped away the tears from his eyes.
"Claire… for the rest of our very, very long lives I promise to love you with all of my heart, honour you with all of my actions, and treasure you like actual treasure. I promise to keep you warm when you get cold, and to stand in the way of the sun when it gets hot. No matter how many horses you take on, I promise to always give my best to keep up. Every time. And wherever we go, I promise to be there, holding your hand and telling you, "I love you." You're my best friend, and you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Let's get really, really, really old together.
Thank you for marrying me." Alex kneeled down at got the ring of the little container John was holding, he placed the ring on Claire's finger with shaking hands.
"And as I asked Alex, I ask you Claire to make your vows"
By now tears was rolling down Claire's cheeks as well, she had promised herself not to cry, not to come out as weak - but the feelings inside were too much for her to hold in, and after all - this were happy tears, no sign of weakness in them.
"I promise to cure a faithful and fantastic marriage with you. I promise to treat you with kindness, respect, appreciation and silliness. I promise to participate in our relationship, even when it might be hard. I promise to let you know when you are getting too arrogant around the horses and training. I promise to roll my eyes with you, and not at you. I promise to make laughter an integral part of our family. I promise to love you until I am extinct.
Thank you for marrying me." She placed the ring on Alex's finger with a steady hand and smiled at him.
"Claire and Alex, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you married! You may now kiss!"
Alex placed his arm around Claire's waist and pulled her in. Their mouths met in a soft kiss and the guests supported it with applause in the background. "What do you say Mrs. Ryan? We did it" Alex said said as they pulled away from each other. Claire frowned at him "McLeod Ryan - and yes we did" She said and smiled all over her face. They entwined their fingers into each other and made their way down the aisle, as a married couple.
