This time when the emptiness hit him, Dean knew it was coming. It didn't make it any less painful however, it was like the world was muted. Everything was dull, cold, black and white. He faintly heard Sam shouting for him before he felt tile under his cheek and realized he had fallen from his chair.
"Dean!" Sam's scared face swam blearily in front of him. "Hey Dean, listen to me okay? Listen to my voice."
"Sammy," Dean managed. "He's gone." The pain was so much more profound, so much more intense this time around. He didn't know why, maybe it was the agony Cas had died in. He shook his head weakly, he didn't want to think of that.
Sam closed his eyes and bowed his head. He had expected it. "Cas..." he whispered. "Damn it."
Dean curled into himself, feeling Sam's hands on his shoulders and waist, trying to right him. It took a second before he allowed his brother to pull him up against his solid torso. "Dean, I'm sorry," Sam whispered, his body shaking. "Let's try and stand okay? Get you somewhere else."
Dean felt his legs trembling with such vigor beneath him he could swear that he must be jolting the entire bunker. He stumbled but righted himself again, feeling Sam grab his arm to steady him. He tried to move again and fell forward, clutching at Sam in an attempt to right himself. Sam said something that Dean could make out and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Can stand S'mmy," he mumbled.
"Oh yeah sure Dean," Sam said, letting go for a second and grabbing Dean before he hit the table and knocked over his half eaten soup. "Let me help."
Dean didn't fight him as Sam half carried his brother to the beginning of the hallway. With his arm wrapped around his older brother, Sam could feel his heart beat fluctuating and he furrowed his brow in worry.
After a few moments Sam nudged Dean to keep moving, continuing to half carry him to the nearest of the row of unused rooms. "Sam," Dean whispered. "Cas..." Sam wiped his eyes, hoping Dean wouldn't see the tears.
"Yeah," Sam said softly. "I'm here. It's alright." Sam had seldom seen Dean like this, so broken, so volatile. Usually it was Sam like this- durning the Trials, with Lucifer, even when he went cold turkey from Demon blood. Dean was always the one doing the caring, even when he was hurting. He hated seeing his big brother like this, no matter how many times he saw Dean cry he could never get used to it.
"I know." Dean gripped his hand, a gesture both of them knew they would never mention again.
"Dean, you need anything?" Sam asked, ready to serve his brothers beck and call.
"Just..." Dean struggled to form the words. "Can you stay? It helped last time."
Man, just how fucked up were they that there was a last time? "Of course." Sam switched out the light. "That okay?"
"Yeah. Sam, I might be...slightly incapacitated but I'm not five. I'm not scared of the dark."
Sam felt his lips pull into a small smile against his better will. The words were so Dean that Sam thought for a second that his brother would be alright sooner than anticipated. "I know."
He pulled back the covers and slid in next to his brother who kicked him gently. "Let's not make a habit of this."
"Fine by me."
Dean turned away, his back pressing against Sam's who stayed awake as the night ticked away, gently running a hand over Dean's arm when he heard his breathing speed up, chasing away his brothers nightmares. Around two in the morning Dean's breathing was slow and even, clearly not having nightmares and clearly alright. Then and only then did Sam shut his eyes and allow sleep to take him.
Lucifer leaned back, resting his back against the wall of the bunker. The clock read 2:25am on it. Sam and Dean were sharing a bed and somewhere along the line Sam had rolled over so than he was squished into Dean's side like a puppy. Lucifer glanced over at Gabriel who was leaning against the wall next to him. "You do realize this is stalking?"
Gabe shrugged. "We can't exactly go up to Heaven, can we? They want us skinned alive. We broke a Winchester out of Heaven, we defied and corrupted. Not to mention broke into frigging Eden!"
"I know," Lucifer said, grateful that the Winchesters couldn't see them. "We'd have to explain about..." His voice trailed off.
"I can't believe it. Cas was the only reason we were in that mess. He should have survived it. Our entire journey was fruitless."
Lucifer shook his head. "Not entirely. Dean has some closure now."
Silence fell as the Angels stared into the darkness around them. When Gabriel spoke his voice was small. "I should have stayed instead."
"Don't say that," Lucifer snapped. "We need you, I need you, Gabe. You and me, we're the last Archangel's capable of doing stuff right now, what with Michael incapacitated and in the cage and Raphael dead."
"Do you think Michael will ever come out?"
"Dunno. Even if he does it's not like Dean will ever say yes."
Gabriel shrugged. "Right. But what about you? Will you take Sam?"
"If he takes me," Lucifer answered, choosing his words carefully. "If Dean breaks and Michael is wreaking havoc and Sam says yes then I will fight but I will do so on the side of Humanity."
"You've taken Michael's place as guardian of Earth. You and him have switched places." Gabriel smiled sadly and shook his head, grief for his brother still heavy in his heart. "I honestly still cannot process that."
"So much faith," Lucifer shot playfully, then his voice lowered into a more serious tone. "The only wrinkle would be Michael might target Sam, you know, boy king of Hell deal and all. Dean's still slightly corrupt from the Mark which directly ties him to me as I was the first to bear it. He would be a suitable vessel for either of us."
"But he won't say yes," Gabriel said, confused. "Why would that be a problem?"
"Michael and Dean share many personality traits, love for family being one of them. Michael must be aware of that so if he targets someone Dean loves, the only living thing on this Earth being Sam currently, then Dean will have nearly no choice other than to accept. You know he can't loose Sam too."
Gabriel shook his head. "These boys," he said, gazing soulfully at the sleeping brothers. "When will their pain end?"
"I don't know."
"They deserve more."
Lucifer shook his head and sighed, honestly wishing he could change things for them. "Dean deserves to love without fear that it will be taken, Sam deserved to be happy and know that for once, he and his brother are completely safe."
His mind dug out a mental image of Castiel, his true form, towering above Humanity, eyes like small suns, wings stretching out to shield Earth. Then he shook the image away, replacing it with the human form, his messy black hair, ugly-ass coat, and blue eyes that lit up every time he saw Dean. That was the form he chose, to remain with his charge, the one he had vowed to protect at all costs, the only Angel who loved Humanity to the extent that only God could challenge. When he said the words his voice trembled. "Cas deserved to be saved."
