Not much to say about this. Except that the flashback starts after Laura begins speaking to Ross and then ends when Ross isn't really reacting too much to what she said. I said this on twitter, but if you go back a few chapters, I think the second or third one, Amber says something about how she and Laura used to be friends, then later reminds her of what she did. That was sort of huge to remember. So, if you did remember it, awesome. If you didn't, then, well, you're still awesome I guess.
And Trevor was sort hinted, but his name was never mentioned before. He's a character I haven't said much about. I saw a lot of you asked about that, there's your answer.
So enjoy. It's kinda intense.
I own nothing.
Laura opened her eyes and knew instantly that she had woken up Ross again. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, in her eyes and her throat was hurting. Her body started to shake once she noticed that other than with her in it, the bed was otherwise empty.
"Ross?" She called. Then, louder, "Ross! Ross!"
"I'm here, I'm here." He quickly came into the room, a glass of water in his hand as he put it down by their bedside and then he sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around her as she hugged him tight. "You're okay, it's okay." He whispered, rocking her back and forth as she started to cry.
After a few minutes, she calmed down and pulled away from him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked her gently, rubbing her cheeks. She looked up at him and then nodded her head. It was now or never, she thought.
"I…we…I need to…" She felt the tears come and Ross put his arm around her.
"Laura, it's okay." He whispered against her head, "you can tell me anything you know that."
"It's just that I'm having so many nightmares about that day and I can't-" She paused, closing her eyes and then took a deep breath.
Then, just like that, she started talking and everything that she'd been hiding for so long finally came out.
"You know, I have to say, I enjoy that you're not working for the next six months. Means I get to spent more time with you." Amber threw her arm around Laura's shoulders and scrunched her face up. Laura laughed, shaking her head.
"You would say that, how do you know I'm not auditioning for other parts in the meantime?"
Amber shrugged, going to sit on the bleachers one above her. She opened the can of soda she had in her hands and looked at her. "That show is too important to you, I don't think you'd audition for things only to have to reschedule and work your schedule around everything… you know?"
Laura nodded, "it might not be so important to me anymore." She shrugged, looking down at her hands. Amber tilted her head and smirked at her. Laura noticed this and looked up at her. "What?"
"You know it's been… I don't know, about a month since you finished the second season and you haven't said one word about your super hot costar." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Laura shook her head, turning away.
"I don't want to talk about him okay? Drop it."
"Why? Upset he's on tour?"
"Amber, I'm serious, just stop. He's not-we're not friends…" She trailed off. "So, let's just forget he exists."
Amber leaned back, "That's going to be kinda hard, he's everywhere." She held up her can of soda and Laura grabbed it from her. Sure enough, she saw his face. Then, she angrily threw the can of soda all the way onto the middle of the football field. Amber's eyes widened. "What the fuck? I was drinking that!"
"Sorry, actually, I'm not really sorry." Laura shrugged, "I told you to stop." She mumbled, looking down at her hands.
"More like you abused my soda, but whatever. It was free, I don't really care." Amber got up and then sat down beside Laura, who just looked at her. "Anyway, you look down, we should go out tonight, you, me, Ben and Trevor."
"Trevor?" Laura repeated flatly. "As in hardcore partier Trevor?"
"Do we know another one?"
Laura tried to think and then realized Amber had a point. "I don't want to like die tonight."
"You won't." Amber promised, though Laura could see it wasn't a real promise on her part. She looked at her phone, "We're going to go to a foreclosure party."
"What is that?"
Amber giggled, amused, "right you're an actress, you wouldn't know what that is." Laura just blinked at her. She rolled her eyes, "it's when a house goes into foreclosure and there's a party where people basically destroy it, by spray painting or throwing things at the wall and breaking it."
"That sounds like you're defacing property and last I checked… it was illegal! No, there's no way I'm going to that." Laura held her hands up and Amber sighed.
"Well, what are we supposed to do? We're not old enough to go clubbing, well, you aren't and I just don't feel like staying at home." Amber looked out onto the football field.
"Why would you want to do something illegal though?" Laura asked her, "like jail time, Amber. What's wrong with you?"
She just shrugged, "you're looking for a good time to get your mind off your super dreamy costar for whatever reason you have, so… you have a choice. Either stay at home and mope and be pissed off about it all night, or come to the party."
Laura blinked at her, already knowing what her choice was going to be.
It was practically a no brainer.
"Where are you going?"
Laura looked up through the mirror and saw Vanessa was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She had a look of amusement on her face ad looked at Laura's outfit.
"You look like a total slut," Her eyes lit up, "ooh, is Ross back? Are you guys going to-"
"No." Laura snapped, her tone cold. "He's not back and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't bring him up."
Vanessa's eyebrows furrowed together. "Wait, I thought you guys were like best friends forever, what happened?"
Laura shrugged, moving passed her to go into her room, "nothing, we just… grew apart, that's all." Laura answered as she pulled out her lipstick and walked back in to put it on. "He's miles away and I'm stuck here."
"Laura, him being on tour has never affected your friendship before, why would it now?"
"Why are you being so damn nosy?" Laura snapped at her. "Just drop it okay? We're not friends anymore. Leave it at that." She pushed passed her again and then grabbed her bag. They both heard a car beep outside and she looked out of the window, turning to her sister, she smiled and giggled. "Alright, well, I have to go, See you later, sis!"
"Yeah." Vanessa said as she ran passed her, "see you later."
Laura walked up to Amber's car and got in, noticing that the boys were in the backseat.
"Hey, Marano!" Trevor high fives her, "good to see you!"
"Yeah, I was forced to come." Laura rolled her eyes and gave Amber a pointed look. "But whatever," Her eyes then traveled around he car and she noticed that Trevor had pulled something out of his pocket and that it was a small baggie, with white powder in it. "Oh my god, Trevor is that-"
"Coke? Yes." He held up to her, "want some?"
She made a face, "no."
"Why not? It'd be pretty damn funny with the newsstands the next day, 'Disney star found in the middle of now where, coked out of her mind.'" Ben said and then bumped his fist with Trevor.
"That wouldn't be funny at all." Laura snapped, "I'd lose my job you idiots."
"It's not like you care anymore anyways right? You're not friends with the male lead anymore. Like you said." Amber said as she made a turn onto the freeway.
Laura sat still, unable to believe Amber had actually said it.
"Wait, you're not friends with Pretty Boy anymore?" Ben asked. "Holy shit, what happened?"
"We just grew apart, that's all." Laura answered, not wanting to give the real reason why. If the truth got out, then well, shit would go down, he'd find out and it just wouldn't be pretty at all.
"Yeah, I don't buy that for two seconds," Trevor said, leaning back he poured some of the coke onto his hand and then snorted it. Laura made a face.
"You're going to get yourself into so much trouble." She said but Trevor just shrugged.
Amber turned up the radio then, clearly bored with the conversation and for the rest of the time they just sang and laughed all the way to the party.
Laura stepped inside the house, already feeling a bit uneasy and out of place. She closed her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart as she realized just how much she missed Ross and how much she wished he was there with her. Even if he did break her heart. It couldn't stop her from missing him, could it?
"Yo! Laura!" Trevor ran up to her and she could already see that he was already losing it. He handed her a cup, "drink this! You'll feel better after you do." She took it, looking uneasy, and brought it up to her nose, sniffing it before shaking her head, the strong sent hitting her nose.
"No, no thanks. I…I'm good." She handed the drink back to Trevor who just shook his head and then pushed it in her face. She saw the look in his eyes and truth be told, it was starting to scare her.
"Just drink it," He said roughly. He leaned in close to her ear, "if you don't, then we can't have any fun later." He pulled away and winked. Her heart dropped and her stomach started to feel queasy. Trevor had always been a bit off and weird, but tonight, this was a whole different kind of weird and she wasn't comfortable with it at all.
"Trevor, just get off, leave me alone." She told him, trying to push him off, but he was too strong for her. Smirking, he just put his hand down that held the drink, the other hand going to touch the edge of her skirt.
"You wouldn't wear this unless you were trying to get some right?"
Laura shook her head, "I'm not like that, you know that."
"So what? An innocent virgin like you can't have a little fun?" He asked her, pushing her until her back hit the wall. She didn't bother to correct him on that statement. "You're a fucking Disney girl. You're all sweet and innocent now, but in a few years, you'll turn out just like Miley Cyrus, watch."
She felt the anger build up and then put her hands on his chest, pushing him as hard as he could, but since she was a girl and not strong enough, he didn't really move at all. Instead, he just laughed an stumbled backwards a bit.
Then, his eyes grew dark and he pushed her against the wall. Hard. Her head hit it and she closed her eyes, feeling the tears come and wondered why Amber and Ben hadn't come to rescue her.
She pushed against him again, "what the hell is your problem?" She managed to somehow get him off her, but he just pushed himself against her again. He was heavy and she couldn't hold him on her own. Biting her lip, she just stayed there, watching as the party goers passed by, giving her judgmental looks and she was for once happy that no one had recognized her yet. He started to kiss her neck and she protested, pushing against him, but he seemed to mistake that for shouts of pleasure. "No! Stop!" She started yelling as he then tried to force his mouth on hers, but she shook her head, turning it at the last second.
His hands went to hers and he grabbed them, putting them on his pants.
"Stop! I don't want to do this!" She yelled at him, she couldn't move, so she just kept pushing. He shook his head.
"Enough, bitch." He snapped at her. She looked up at him in surprise. "Don't move."
"Fuck you, Trevor!" She yelled at him. "Get off me!" She tried to move away, but he just let out a humorless laugh and then pushed her against the wall.
"You can't leave." He told her, "I'm going to fuck you so hard, you're going to forget what's his name."
Her eyes filled with tears, "get off me!" She hit his chest, her anger getting stronger the more he resisted. "Get off!" He then unbuttoned his pants, pulling himself out and pushed her up against the wall. She closed her eyes, realizing that what was about to happen was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Until she remembered something Ross had told her one day on set.
"If a guy ever makes you uncomfortable, knee them in the… you know private area. That'll make them stop for sure. We hate getting hit there."
Taking his advice, she kneed him in his private area as hard a she could and he fell to the ground. She fell too, but she didn't care, grabbing her bag that had fallen on the ground, she quickly ran away from him, running to someone and realizing it was Amber.
"Oh! Amber! Where the fuck have you been? Trevor…he's-he's scaring me." She put a strand of hair behind her ear. Then she noticed that Amber just shook her head and started to laugh. "What's so funny?"
"You're delusional, Laura." She said and patted her head. Laura smacked her hand away and backed a few feet away.
"Don't touch me."
"Relax, ladies, okay?" Ben said and then he looked at Laura, "what's the problem?"
Laura then came to a realization about her so called "friends" and shook her head. Ross had seen the way she was with them and had warned her about them. She hadn't listened to him and had accused him of being jealous of Ben and Trevor. He'd been right the whole time.
"You people need help." She snapped and with that, turned around and stormed off.
"What's wrong? Sad because your super hot costar doesn't give a shit about you anymore?" Amber called after her and Laura turned to see that she was mock-pouting at her. "I'm sure he doesn't want anything to do with you because you just deny everything when asked about your relationship status. Am I right?"
"You don't know anything about our relationship…friendship…whatever. It's none of your damn business." Laura snapped at her. "Back off."
"He's probably on tour fucking another girl as we speak," Amber laughed, "I'm sure the thought of that just crushes your fragile little heart doesn't it?"
Laura's eyes filled with tears. "You're supposed to be my friend."
"Look around, Laura, do any of these people look like they're your friends?" She asked. Laura just looked at her, "yeah, guess what? We, were using you. You're famous. You could help us out and you did, so thank you. We really appreciate that."
Laura's mouth dropped open, then she slapped Amber. So hard it was audible throughout the whole house.
"You bitch!" She yelled at her.
Then, she spun around and stormed out of the house, just sitting outside on the curb, she looked around for an escape, but realized there was no way she'd be able to get one, since they were in the middle of nowhere. She really regretted her decision to go to the party.
Someone sat down beside her and she looked to her right to see it was Ben.
"Don't listen to Amber." He told her, "she's just a jealous bitch."
"Uh yeah." Laura agreed, "whatever, I don't care about her. I don't care about any of them. I've got friends I can count on and no offense, but none of them are in there."
"So, you really just have two then right?" Ben asked.
"No, I have more than that." Laura responded, "But I'm not giving any names, sorry but I don't like to exploit my friends like yours seem to do." Laura turned her head away and then shook her head. "I can't believe I thought we were actually friends, that part of this sob story is what's so damn stupid of me. I trusted people I shouldn't have trusted."
"Is Ross one of them? Do you not trust him either?" Ben asked her and she just looked away. "I can see he hurt you, what did he do?"
"Don't worry about it." She snapped, "Fuck him okay? Let's pretend he fell off a rocketship and I don't know, disappeared. I don't want to talk about him, what about that doesn't any fucking body understand?" She put her hands in her hair and stood up, beginning to pace back and forth.
"Fine, I won't bring him up again." She just nodded and he then put his hands on her shoulders, then, before she could say a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She responded almost instantly, by pulling away and smacking him hard on the cheek.
"What the hell was that for?" She yelled at him. "First Trevor, now you? You are sick!"
"I thought we had a connection."
"What connection?" Laura demanded.
"Oh, yeah, right… you're like, in love with Ross, totally forgot about that." Ben muttered sarcastically.
She made a face since he had tasted like cigarettes, beer and something else. It made her sick to her stomach just remembering all of it.
"I'm not in love with him." Lie. "I'm not even friends with him. I'm so sick of telling everyone that! You know what? Just leave me alone. Okay? I don't care if I have to fucking walk, I'm leaving."
"Yeah, have fun with that." Ben responded.
"Fuck off." Laura snapped and then she turned around. She heard her name being called and then turned around to see that Trevor was running towards her, obviously fully recovered from his injury. Or, it seemed like he was. "Oh god, it's you, get away from me okay? Or you'll get a lot worse than that." Inside, she was terrified, but she knew if she let it show, then it would just make things worse.
"Why? Just because you kicked me in the balls doesn't mean we still can't have fun."
"Uh, yeah it does. Leave!" She pushed him so hard he stumbled back and fell to the ground. Instead of getting mad, he just shrugged and then took another hit of his drugs and she just watched him in disbelief. After that hit though, he suddenly started to shake and her eyes widened as she watched him. "What's going on? Ben!" He turned to look at her and his eyes widened, he pulled her back from him. "What are you doing? Let me help him!"
"He's having a seizure Laura, look what you did."
"I-I didn't do that." She stammered, "oh my god, all I did was push him to the ground. I didn't do anything else!"
"I saw it all, you did." Ben told her and she looked at him, horrified. "Come on, let's get out of here, before the police comes and busts us."
"No!" She yelled, struggling against him until she was free again. "I'm staying! I have to help him!"
"You can't!" He yelled back at her, "just leave him!"
"What's your problem? He could die!" She looked in between Trevor and Ben, "he's your best friend idiot, do something!"
"Come on!" Amber ran passed them and pulled them with her, "we have to go! Laura! Come on!"
She knew she shouldn't have trusted Amber or Ben after what had happened, but she also had to leave. She didn't want to, but she knew she had no choice. So, with one last look at Trevor, she grabbed her handbag and hurried after Ben and Amber.
"We don't say a word about this to anyone," Ben said to Amber who nodded in agreement and then he looked at Laura who was now crying as she watched Trevor's body become smaller and smaller. "The media doesn't need to know anything and neither does anyone else. We're the only ones who were out there, so only we know. Okay? Deal? No one knows."
Laura slowly nodded, "deal." She whispered. Though she knew the guilt over what she had done would never, ever leave her. She had inadvertently killed someone. Trevor was going to die because of her. That thought alone made her want to throw up all over Amber's car. She had killed someone and that was something she would never, ever forgive herself for.
Ross didn't say anything. Not after a few moments. It was intensely silent as Laura just sat there, her hands on her lap as she waited for him to say something, anything.
"I messed up, I know, I killed someone," She said, her tone breaking as she looked up at her boyfriend. Her eyes filled with tears at the memory, "I was angry and I was messed up that night. It was a month after you said you didn't love me and I don't know. I wanted to have a good time, so I did and it turned into a fucking horror film."
He still didn't say anything, his jaw clenched and she knew that what was coming next wasn't going to be good.
"Please," She whispered, "don't hate me or think of me any differently."
Still nothing.
"Ross?"
And then, without another word, he just stood up and left the room. She broke down, her knees going up to her chin and started to cry. She knew then that her relationship with Ross was going to be over, he wasn't going to think of her the same way ever again, not that she blamed him.
She had only been alone for about five minutes, when Ross came back. She knew he did by the fact that the door had opened and she felt his weight on the bed. Then, to her complete surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and held her against him, rocking her back and forth while she just cried until she couldn't anymore.
"You didn't kill him," He finally whispered. "There's no way you could have."
She looked up at him, "what do you mean?"
"All you did was push him off of you, he made the decision to take the drugs. Clearly, he had a problem. For all you know, he could have been doing it way before that night even happened. You don't know the whole story. He had tried to rape you Laura, all you did was protect yourself."
She didn't really believe him. It had been almost a year and she was almost sure she'd killed Trevor or at least had a huge part in it. Her hands had been the last to touch him before he hit the ground. He was scaring her and she was freaking out, trying to get him to back off her.
"Ben was the only person who saw it right?" Laura nodded, "and he even tried to take advantage of you that night at the party when you had gotten wasted. He knew how vulnerable you were and he tried to go for it. If anything, he's to blame."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because, like I said, you don't know the whole story," He whispered against her head as he held her tight against him. "You don't know if Ben or Amber gave Trevor bad drugs or if they were the ones to tell him to try and get with you. Amber knew how pissed off you were at me and she took advantage of your vulnerability. She made you almost break down and then because Trevor tried to have sex with you, you flipped your shit and pushed him to the ground, then he took the drugs and had a seizure. It's not your fault."
"But he died, Ross. I left him there and he died. I could've helped him."
"No," Ross took her face in his hands, "there was no way you could have and you have to realize that. Okay? Laura, you. Didn't. Kill. Trevor. He did it all on his own."
She looked down, shaking her head, before looking back up at him again. "I was scared to tell you, I didn't want you to hate me."
"Hate you?" He asked her and she nodded, "for what defending yourself when someone tried to take advantage of you?"
"I wanted to yell that night about how the only person I wanted to be with like that was you, but I couldn't. I was angry and I didn't want to start rumors when you were on tour. I figured that would have made things so much worse." She paused, her eyes tear-filled. Ross rubbed her back comfortingly.
"I think what you need, is closure," He whispered in to her hair, kissing the top of her head. "Talk to his parents, classmates, something, so that you don't let this guilt eat at you for the rest of your life. Tell your mother, I'm sure she'd help you."
Laura shook her head, "no, there's no way I can talk to her. She'd kill me."
"She's your mother, Laura. She'll… come around eventually."
"What about Rydel? She knows, Amber sent her a text telling her what I did."
"Talk to her, tell her the real story and she'll believe you. If for some reason Rocky and Riker know too, then do it with them. No one's here to judge you Laura. Riker may be a bit judgmental, but he's always going to have your back at the end of the day. I'll always have your back, alright? I love you."
She sniffled against his chest, closing her eyes, "I love you too, Ross." She whispered and then silently thanked him and whichever god was looking out for her that he hadn't flipped his shit like she thought he would and had stayed by her side.
Now, she knew, she could take that weight off her shoulders for good.
She met with Rydel the next afternoon and told her everything she had told Ross. Rydel, however, had known all along that what she'd been sent hadn't been true and had told her so. Laura breathed out a sigh of relief and then Rydel told her that Riker and Rocky had been with her when she got the message. They knew what had happened as well, but she'd be sure to set them straight. Laura was just relieved she didn't have to do it. Telling Ross and Rydel was hard enough on her as it was.
After getting home about two hours later, she went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She knew she couldn't do anything crazy like start drinking to deal with the pain, since she was pregnant, but she also knew that she wasn't like that and wouldn't exactly go that far. Grabbing her phone, she sent a quick text to Amber.
'Ross knows my secret now, leave me alone.'
It wasn't long before she got another message.
'Secret? Oh right the one where you helped Trevor die. Well, you should check with his sister. She's probably got some questions for you as well.'
Laura rolled her eyes, 'your plan backfired idiot. Now, leave me alone or I'll get a restraining order against you and your fuck buddy.'
She didn't receive a response after that and was very grateful and relieved. She turned so that she could leave the bathroom and her hand hit something. It fell to the ground and she slowly picked it up the bottle, realizing that the pills inside of it had fallen in a pile all over the floor.
"Great," She muttered and quickly tried to clean it up, but then something caught her eye on the label.
First, it said Ross' name.
Then, it said the prescription which she figured had to be for his bipolar disorder.
And another, the date had been for about two weeks ago. She quickly put the pills inside the bottle and noticed that it was filled all the way to the top. Checking to see if there was a refill possibility she saw the words that made her heart stop.
NO REFILLS.
That meant, she realized, that Ross hadn't been taking his pills for two weeks.
Well, shit.
I love that everyone thought Ross was going to flip his shit over her secret, but come on. She needed him, was he really just going to leave her hanging after that? Pfft. Hell no.
You also speculated (is that the right word?) that Ross' breakdown, which you are all anxious for, for some strange reason I'll never understand, was going to have to do something with Laura's secret. Well, fun fact, I was going to go down that direction, but then I was like, no. She needs him. He's Ross, he wouldn't do something like that. So... I went with a completely different idea.
Reread the last two chapters, you'll see why. Huge hints in them. Especially chapter ten.
If you've been following me on twitter and have seen my depressing yet strange tweets, sorry about that. I've been going through a rough time lately with my birth father and then my boyfriend and I broke up (though we're still friends, long story) and my aunt started to get worried about my mental health so she took me to the hospital yesterday to make sure I was okay. I'm okay, obviously, but yeah. I will get like that sometimes and I apologize in advance.
Hope you enjoyed this! Peace, love and rock n' roll.
Much love xx
