Cas felt a helluva lot better when he woke up the next day, curled up into Deans chest, unconsciously reaching for his warm hand and squeezing it. He heard a mumble as the oldest Winchester was roused.
"Hey Cas," Dean murmured into Cas's hair. "You feeling okay?"
"I'm fine," Cas said, stretching his legs. "I should have enough strength to take you to Heaven now."
"Should? You have to be completely sure, okay? If something goes wrong it could hurt you and Sammy and I can't handle that." Dean was awake now, tense and worried.
Cas sighed. "Unless something went wrong which, as far as I can tell, hasn't, I will be fine with bringing two humans up to Heaven." He looked up at Dean. "Better?"
"Slightly."
Sam lay awake in his bed. It was morning, the morning of the day when, for the first time since he was six months old, he would see his mother- the real her, not a hallucination or a dream. What did she look like in person? he wondered. What was her personality like? Would she like him after all he'd done? And Jess. What would she do after learning all the bad he had done? That he had actually been Satan? That he had kept the secret that killed her from her all the time they had been together?
He missed her. He missed his mom, and somewhere deep down, he did miss his father.
"Hey Sammy."
Sam sat up. He had been so deep in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Dean, now standing in the doorway. "Hey," Sam said, swinging his legs out of bed. "How's Cas doing?"
"He's good," Dean said. "Says he'll be strong enough to swing this."
"Says?"
Dean shrugged and walked over sit besides Sam. "He says he should be able to. He still looks like crap to tell you the truth but he seems sure."
"You believe him?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. It wasn't like Dean to act so loose around situations where someone he loved could potentially get hurt.
"Nope," Dean replied with a shrug.
"But you're gonna let him do this?"
Dean shook his head with a laugh. "Sammy, you should have seen him. He's not going to back out."
"Listen," Sam said. "If it's gonna hurt him to zap us to Heaven, then don't let him do it. He's already weak from Amara, he's my friend and I don't want him to get hurt more than he has been."
"Yeah, I don't want anything to happen to him either Sam, but we aren't gonna be able to stop him."
Sam sighed and leaned forward. "You know he'd listen to you Dean."
"Sam..."
"No, shut up. He's not fully recovered, he might get hurt. You can convince him not to even risk it."
Dean rubbed a hand over his face. "No."
"What? Dean, if you love him make sure he's safe."
"He can't do that." Dean raised his head, eyes locked with Sam's, pained and asking him to understand the reasoning behind his answer. "He can't stay here, not doing anything. This is Cas, the Angel who took the Devil because he felt useless. He needs to think he's helping us out, which he is just by being here, but he won't understand that. So I'm gonna let him take us, because I love him."
Sam nodded reluctantly. "Fine."
"Wow," Dean said, raising his eyebrows.
"What?" Sam asked, tilting his head.
Dean shrugged. "Nothing, you were just so against him going before and that's all it took to change your mind?"
"If you think it'll help him then, by all means, please go ahead." Sam shrugged and stood. "Where is he now?"
"Kitchen probably." Dean followed suite. "He's making coffee."
"Right. I'm gonna get dressed, you start breakfast."
"Okay." Dean started towards the door but stopped. "You good Sammy?"
Sam glanced up from his drawer. "Nervous. You?"
"Same. It will be okay Sam, don't worry about what Jess will think, or about seeing Charlie and Kevin."
Sam's eyebrows rose. "How did you know I was thinking that?" He was genuinely curious as to how Dean seemed to know all his emotions with a glance.
Dean sighed, his brave, cocky masquerade slipped a little. "Sam, I've known you since the day you were born. So you've said you know me better than I know myself, well I know you, better than anyone else on Earth or in Heaven. I'm worried about Kevin and Charlie too." With that he left, leaving Sam with a weight in his stomach.
Breakfast was a quiet, anxiety inducing affair. Neither Sam nor Dean spoke and Cas seemed to recognize that this was not his place to speak and simply gripped Dean's hand when it started shaking.
Sam poked around his eggs, hardly eating until he felt Dean's hard gaze on him. Cas who did not need to eat human food simply excused himself to get dressed, arriving as Dean cleared the dishes and set them in a stack by the sink and Sam hurried off to do who knows what.
"Are you alright?" Cas asked softly, his breath caressing the back of Dean's neck.
"Nervous," Dean said quietly. "Worried about Sam."
"He'll be fine," Cas whispered, pressing a feather-light kiss to Dean's neck. "And so will you."
Dean relaxed, taut muscles loosening. "Thanks. You sure that your up for this?"
"I am."
Dean turned around, hands resting on Cas's waist. "If there is any chance it will hurt you I don't want you to risk it."
"There's always a chance, not a large one but there is still one. You and Sam are no strangers to these chances."
"I know, I just..." Dean closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing. "I'm scared for Sam and us. My dad...I can't shake the feeling that he's mad about this. I don't know...I'm just worried."
"Don't be," Cas murmured. "And don't be worried about Sam, no one will be mad at him, at either of you. I promise."
"How can you be sure?"
Cas kissed his lips, soft, gentle. "I am," he whispered.
Sam watched from behind the door, his heart was racing with excitement and anxiety induced from knowing that in only minutes he would meet his mother and Jess for the first time in years. His hands were shaking and he half wished something would happen so that they couldn't go. The other half of him was angrily scolding him for thinking that.
From what he could see Dean's hands and face were white and his forehead creased. Cas seemed to be trying to console him, soft words Sam couldn't make out traveling from the Angels lips. Dean seemed to be relaxing more and more with every word Cas said. Sam decided to make himself announced.
"Hey," he said, stepping into the room. "Cas, you ready?"
Cas stepped away from Dean quickly, looking almost guilty. "I am," he said slowly. "Dean?"
"Ready," Dean said softly. Sam couldn't help but notice that his hand was still in Cas's and smiled to himself at the sight.
"You sure about this Cas?" Sam asked.
"Of course." Cas reached out a hand to grab Sam's wrist and suddenly they were gone.
