"God's sister," Charlie clarified after Sam had explained what exactly the Darkness was. "You released God's sister."
"Yup," Dean confirmed.
She shook her head. "If anyone was going to release God's literal sister, it would be you two, wouldn't it?"
Dean shook his head, unable to hold back a smile. "Yeah. We were idiots, I should have listened to Death when he tried to explain."
"Was she scary?" Kevin asked. "What did she look like?"
"Darkly beautiful," Sam answer and shrugged in response to Dean's raised eyebrows. "God's sister. She was a deity in a way, they're all beautiful."
"You said 'was'," Jess said. "So she's dead?"
"I killed her," Dean said. "And then I died."
Bobby nodded. "We gave a run through to everyone here after you left. You boys just never stop dying."
"Thanks Bobby," Sam said, ignoring the last bit.
Mary's eyes were wide and tears were running down her face. "I never wanted any of this...I'm so sorry," she whispered.
Sam and Dean moved almost in sync towards her, Dean put a hand on her arm. "We don't blame you for anything," he told her.
"Mom," Sam said. "We lived crappy lives, I'll say that much, but there has never been a moment where we have blamed any of this on you."
John hardly glanced up. "So Eden," he said, obviously impatient. "What happened?"
"Uh...we-" Sam started, glancing at Dean.
John shook his head. "I want to hear it from the Angel."
Cas paled and seemed to shrink back in his chair. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Dean who moved protectively over his Angel. "Dad, asking Cas what happened in Eden is like...like asking me what happened in Hell." It was an overstatement but Dean didn't care. "Except the damage wasn't physical."
John raised his eyebrows. "I want to hear it from him."
"John!" Mary snapped. "Hey, if he doesn't feel he's able to do it, don't make him!"
Charlie and Kevin moved closer around Cas, almost forming a half circle around him. "You good?" Charlie asked.
"I am alright," Cas replied. "I can tell it if you want." He made to stand up but Dean firmly pushed him back down.
"Until you don't look like you're about to pass out you are sitting down," Dean said.
"Fine." Cas sighed but settled back. "Eden was...corrupt. Damned, I guess you could say. Amara deposited me there after she killed me."
He sped through the story, the first Phase, stumbling around the second, trying to speak of it the least he could. He did say how he feared rejection which spawned the vision he had. He talked about how it felt, how he had lost control, how he had wanted to kill. All the time he tried not to meet anyone's eyes, tried to steady his voice when it threatened to break as he recounted seeing his brothers and Sam and Dean in Eden. He told about he had finally broken the spell but did not give details.
Mary closed her eyes, feeling sick to her stomach. She half wanted to open her eyes, realize she was imagining all of this. She glanced at John, standing there, watching the Angel talk, distrust and dislike plain on his face. She shivered, remembering what he had done to Dean, her baby.
Dean was looking at Cas, his face was lit up, his eyes were sparkling green pools of protectiveness and passion, his lips were curved up in a half smile that reminded her of John. His hand was on Cas's shoulder, rubbing small circles. And Cas was glancing up at him, talking directly to her son, everyone else in the room were just objects. The Angels eyes twinkled, painfully human looking and full of love.
Heck, who was she kidding, Castiel looked at her son like he hung the stars and lit the sun.
John didn't trust the Angel. The way he looked at Dean made him mildly uncomfortable, he didn't know why. There was something in that bright blue gaze. What Dean had with the Angel, this strange relationship, was never going to last and when it broke it would destroy his son.
He glanced at Sam and Jessica. She stood with his arm around her waist, holding her close as if she might slip away. Every once and a while Sam would glance down or Jess would glance up, as if checking the other was still there. Jess's eyes were full of love and caring, Sam's were full of sorrow and passion, sorrow because he would have to leave her.
John turned back to Cas and Dean. Dean's eyes were closed, his face pained as the Angel talked about those creatures in Eden, what had apparently killed him. Cas's speaking faltered as he glanced up, then his hand trails up to Dean's and squeezed it. Dean gave a pained smile but squeezed back.
It wasn't that Dean didn't like to hear how Cas had died, wait, yeah it was. The way Cas described it, even in summary, was more graphic and horrible than Dean imagined. He closed his eyes again, with out permission his mind began picturing the death. He shook his head and glanced down at Cas. Living, breathing Cas.
Cas glanced up at him and smiled, pausing his story for a moment to ask, "you alright?" with the familiar head tilt.
"I'm fine," Dean said and his voice sounded breathless and urgent.
Cas gave him a look plainly stating, "no you aren't."
Dean shrugged and glanced up at Sam, who looked concerned and was watching Dean. Dean shrugged slightly and Sam's eyes softened. He nodded in understanding before glancing back down at Jessica. They looked so happy together, so perfect. Sam was smiling at her, his eyes filled with love. Jess was leaning into him, her love for him as strong as it had been years ago.
Dean wished with all his heart that some miracle would happen and somehow Sam and Jess would be together and happy. He knew it was likely never going to happen though.
