"Can't sleep?" Gail asked the woman in front of her as she took her usual place perched at Holly's kitchen island. It was the early hours of the morning, and they had just gotten back from the body in the woods. Or skeleton rather, as from what Gail had seen there wasn't a lot left. It had taken Holly a while to do her tests out in the field, and then they had taken the bones back to the lab for closer inspection. Luckily it seemed the guy had some sort of metal plate which Holly had managed to get a serial number from and give the detectives a name. Once she'd got that, she decided to pack up and leave the full examination till tomorrow much to Gail's relief. It had been freezing standing around on guard in the forest and she only just felt like she was warming up.
Holly pottered through her kitchen cabinets and pulled out three mugs. "No," she answered. "I'm still a bit wired to be honest." She grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured it into a pan for heating.
"Busy night I guess," Gail reflected. She herself was fine, but she was completely settled into the rhythm of night shifts and would have been awake anyway. Holly had been up for twenty hours though actually didn't seem too exhausted.
"It wasn't too bad," Holly replied, "That was a pretty quick one. If it hadn't been for the metal plate, we would still be in the lab trying to figure out who that guy was,"
"Thank God for badly broken bones saving us from all-nighters then," Gail said quite seriously.
Holly smiled. "You get used to them in med school, but it's rare I have to pull one now. And I won't have to go in until the afternoon tomorrow, as I've been working half the night," she told the cop. Holly gave the milk a good stir before leaving it and fetching some chocolate powder from another cupboard.
"McGregor will like that; a change of routine," Gail laughed and Holly pulled a face. McGregor had tried to stop her taking the call out earlier that night when Sanderson had phoned to tell him. Holly had point blank refused to listen though, saying it was one thing having this situation screwing up her life but quite another when it affected her work. Surprisingly, she won the battle. Gail suspected it was the fact he didn't want the murder squad sniffing around and querying why they couldn't use the best pathologist in the department.
"Do you think he'd let me go for a run in the morning? It would be later than usual," Holly mused.
"I doubt it. You're not exactly in his good books after persuading him to let you out tonight," was Gail's reply
"McGregor doesn't have anybody in his good books!" Sanderson announced as he strode through the door and plonked himself down next to Gail, just in time to receive the steaming mug of hot chocolate that Holly slid across to them both.
"I'm sure he's a different guy out of work," Holly said diplomatically as she sipped her own drink. She raised her eyebrows at Gail, who gave her a doubting look.
"No, I've met his wife. She's says he's a grumpy old sod too!" was Sanderson's reply.
"He's married!?" both Gail and Holly said in unison and in equally incredulous tones.
"Yeah, they've been married twenty odd years I think,"
"Well there's hope for me yet then," mumbled Holly into her mug, but both officers heard her.
"Nobody special hanging around at the moment then Doc?" Sanderson asked casually. Gail winced, feeling sure he was about to try and flirt with Holly, given the phone call they had overheard on their first day. She hadn't seen any signs of Holly being attracted to Scott since that though, but maybe she was just good at hiding things.
"Not really, not right now," Holly answered, with a sideways look at Gail. Gail noticed her slight flush and grinned; Holly must be expecting a pick up line to be imminent too. However, to her surprise Sanderson just nodded and left it at that.
"What about you Scott? Do you have anyone back in Vancouver?" Holly asked.
"Nope. Young, free and single, that's me!" he replied, giving himself a mock salute. Both women remained silent, so Sanderson expanded, "It's too complicated with the work I do. I can be away for weeks at a time, or on strange shift patterns. None of the girls I've dated have been willing to put up with that,"
"Is that why cops always date other cops?" Holly enquired.
"Like Andy you mean? She's dating one of the detectives at Fifteen, right Gail? And wasn't she with one of the officers before that?" Sanderson asked, his face scrunched up as he tried to remember the details of whatever gossip he'd heard.
Gail groaned internally. She really didn't want to go into details about McNally and Nick and the incestuous mess that was Fifteen Division. She drained her mug of hot chocolate and placed it carefully back on the bench, keeping her eyes trained on the cup.
"I couldn't care less who McNally is dating, Sanderson," she firmly stated as she stood up. "I'm doing a perimeter check, if you want to come with. Or you can carry on gossiping like an old woman,"
Sanderson laughed, not in the least bit offended and oblivious to her icy tone. "Oh gossip, every time. Wrap up well Gail!" he advised. Gail made sure she flipped him the bird as she left the kitchen.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When Gail re-entered the house fifteen minutes later, she found Holly on her own, methodically wiping down the kitchen counters. "Hey," the brunette said quietly, when she noticed the door swing open.
"Hey," Gail replied, blowing on her hands and rubbing them together to ease the sting caused by coming into the warm house from the cold outdoors.
"Do you want another hot drink?" Holly asked, even though Gail could see she had cleared everything away.
"No, I'm good thanks. It's 3am Holly, you should get to bed," She told her.
Holly waved her hand dismissively. "I will soon," she said.
Gail shrugged. It was up to Holly if she wanted to stay up half the night. "Where's Sanderson?" she asked.
"He's in the office, doing some studying. He said it's your turn in the van today," came the response. Gail grimaced, but couldn't argue. She headed towards the door, but before she could leave, Holly spoke again. She threw the cloth she was using into the sink and turned to face Gail square on. "I'm sorry Scott bought up Andy's love life like that. I don't think he knows what happened,"
Gail froze and glared at the other woman. "And you do?" she asked, fighting to keep her voice low.
Holly had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Andy told me," she said, "but not the details, just the basic outline," she hastened to add when she saw Gail's face drop even further.
Like that mattered, Gail thought to herself. McNally shooting her mouth off again, wrapped up in her world where people cared about other people's business. Gail was embarrassed enough by the whole situation, without McNally telling the whole planet. It was one thing that all her so called friends at work knew that she hadn't been good enough for Nick and had made him look elsewhere. She'd learnt to suffer the secret looks and whispers, which were always stuck somewhere between pity and the opinion Gail had got what she deserved. But Holly was new, she was a blank slate as far as Gail's past went. She had thought that maybe they could be friends without the humiliation of Holly knowing all of Gail's past screw ups. It seemed McNally could ruin that too. The woman had quite a talent; Gail had to give her that. "I'll punch her in her loud mouth when I next see her," she half said to herself.
However Holly clearly heard, and looked taken aback at the threat of violence. "I asked," she admitted in a worried voice, wondering how much trouble she was willing to get herself into in order to save Andy from getting socked in the mouth. "I mean, not because I was prying or anything. But things seemed a little strained between you two when I've seen you together, so I just wondered. You know, if there was a problem or anything," she garbled, trying to justify her actions. She had actually had a brief moment when she wondered if maybe Gail and Andy had had a thing together, and the atmosphere between them was a result of it ending badly. Or maybe that was a fantasy? Either way, she wasn't going to tell Gail what had prompted the question.
"You could have asked me. I suppose she told you that she didn't mean it? That her and Nick were all a big mistake?" Gail asked coldly.
Holly shrugged and tried to tread carefully, "She told me how sorry she was. That she missed your friendship, but she knew she had let you down. She seemed pretty sincere,"
Gail pulled a face, "I'm sure she did," she said. She folded her arms across her chest and leant back against the wall, not looking at Holly. The doctor saw the swirl of emotions crossing the blonde's face, and suddenly realised that what she was seeing wasn't anger, but shame.
"It happened to me too, you know," she said casually, moving to sit at one of the bar stools.
"What did?" Gail asked, curious at the change in conversation.
"My ex left me for a friend of ours. A girl from the gym, of all places! We met her at the same time and they got on really well, but I liked her too. Considered her a friend. I'd actually encouraged them to hang out, thinking it was good for us to have separate interests. I felt like such an idiot when I found out," Holly explained ruefully. It was a long time ago, and she had moved on but she still remembered how stupid and blind she had felt when her girlfriend had confessed she had fallen for someone else.
"That's the thing," Gail blurted out without thinking. "I was an idiot. I should have seen it coming," She shook her head and her own stupidity and also the way she had just confessed it to Holly.
But the doctor just shrugged. "Understandable. But even if you'd seen it, what would you have done? You couldn't have stopped it. And you couldn't have pulled him back to you."
"I know," Gail sighed, "and I don't want to either. I am totally over Nick, I really am. I just hate the fact everyone knows that I was a shitty girlfriend and made him love someone else,"
"If you're over him, then it was for the best right? And people can think what they like," Holly told her.
"I guess," Gail said and they lapsed into silence, both thinking about how life could surprise you. Gail couldn't believe some guy had run out on Holly too. What a douchebag.
Holly shook herself out of her reverie and attempted to steer the conversation on a lighter path, "So, nobody has caught your eye since Nick then? Or are you with Scott on the perils of being a police officer and trying to date?"
Gail stiffened a little then stretched her arms as she pushed off the wall, trying to keep her response to the question casual. She would have answered no immediately if the question had been asked yesterday, but couldn't help but remember the sudden flash of attraction she had felt for Holly earlier that evening. Holly spotted the delay, and back pedalled quickly. "Sorry. You don't have to tell me, it's none of my business. I just thought, well, we're friends right? I know you're here for work, but I kind of feel like we could be friends," she said.
The police officer looked at her with an unreadable expression and Holly berated herself internally for overstepping the mark somehow. "Or not," she amended herself quietly and went to get up from her seat to leave Gail alone.
"No," Gail said quickly, noticing how uncomfortable Holly had become. She hadn't meant to ignore the question, but she didn't really know how to answer. The only person she has been remoted interested in since Nick was Holly herself, but that wasn't a romantic thing. It was a momentary spark of physical interest born out of a lack of recent intimacy. Yes. That's what it was. She nodded firmly before stating; "I mean, no not really, there isn't anyone at the moment. I don't think." Way to give a clear answer Peck, she grumbled at herself. She sought to gloss over the glaring ambiguity of her response with an answer to Holly's other question.
"But yes, you and me? We're friends. If you want to be," she said in a voice that sounded unconcerned but Holly recognised it as simply shy.
Holly grinned at the answer. "Then as your friend, it's my duty to tell you that you'll find someone soon, I'm sure. Someone awesome!" she told Gail, and she did so sincerely. Holly had no doubt that the quirky woman in front of her would find someone amazing; if she just let herself do so. The more she got to know the officer, the more the crush which she thought was a passing phase had grown. Gail was fascinating. She was however, straight. Ever since she had found out about Gail and this Nick guy, that was a fact Holly kept having to remind herself of. Holly's thoughts were interrupted by the woman in question thumping down onto the chair opposite.
Gail didn't know what possessed her, but she felt the sudden need to explain herself to the other woman, and make her understand what the problem was, "I don't know. See Holly, I'm like a cat. I'm very good at climbing trees, but when I get to the top I don't know what to do…I want to get down but I don't know how to do that, so I create an emergency situation to get out of them,"
"Of the tree?" Holly asked, puzzled.
"Of relationships," Gail clarified with a frown that suggested that she thought that analogy should be obvious.
"Ah," murmured Holly. She wasn't quite sure what Gail meant, but in the interests of their burgeoning and recently declared friendship, she thought that she should give a sage response to that strange comparison. And get something off her chest. She gave a deep breath and decided to go for the confession. "Yeah, I used to be like that. But it turns out I didn't like men," she began, trying to look as if he was staring at the oven clock but secretly watching Gail out of the corner of her eye.
"I don't think I like men either," Gail sighed.
"No, I mean I'm a lesbian," Holly stated, and felt the familiar lump of trepidation rise in her throat when she said it. She hated that. Holly was entirely comfortable with who she was, and hadn't hidden her sexuality in a long time. But there was always a nervous moment whenever she told someone new – you never knew what reaction you would get; and she had seen a lot of them, not all pleasant.
"Oh. I mean I hate people," Gail said, without missing a beat and Holly had to smirk. Total non-reaction, now that was unusual.
"Fair enough," she replied, thoughtfully. She had to admit, she had kind of thrown it out there to test Gail's reaction. She knew she was attracted to the cop, and had actually wondered for a while whether Gail was gay too. After hearing the Nick story she had actually felt a pang of disappointment knowing that she wasn't. But then earlier she could have sworn Gail was flirting with her. It was all a bit confusing truth be told, and so she had been intrigued to know what Gail would say when Holly told her. Not that she was any the wiser now! Holly sighed. At least the blonde wasn't freaked out, which had to be a good thing. Now maybe if she could get over her attraction, then the two of them really could become good friends. Holly yawned and rolled her neck from side to side.
"Anyway. I guess I should be getting to bed," she said, suddenly feeling tired after getting that off her chest and confronting Gail about Andy. Both subjects had been on her mind.
Gail nodded, although she had no real desire to go outside to the van. "Good night, Lunchbox," she said and laughed when the doctor rolled her eyes at the nickname.
"Goodnight Gail," Holly replied. She stood up and fought the urge to give the woman opposite her a quick hug before heading upstairs. Gail watched her go, her mind whirling through the conversation they had just shared. Holly was gay and she had had no idea. It didn't matter obviously; Gail had no problem with gay people, she had a problem with all people. To use her mother's phrase which of course she had hated, Gail was no stranger to 'experimenting' a little herself when she was in her late teens and before meeting Nick for the first time. Nothing serious and nothing that had gone further than a kiss, but she had always been able to recognise an attractive woman. All of her boyfriends had been surprised when Gail commented on another woman's looks, but she had just thought it was normal. All women talked about other women, surely? But finding out about Holly had taken her by surprise. Somehow it painted the feelings she had experienced earlier in a new light. For whatever reason, Gail felt like the crazy yet compelling desire that had shot through her momentarily earlier was now somehow more realistic. She knew that intellectually that was ridiculous; in the same way she could flirt harmlessly with one of the guys from work, just because Holly was a lesbian didn't mean that suddenly she was interested in Gail. Although she had sometimes got the impression that Holly looked at her for a bit too long, or even was mildly flirting. She had put it down to the woman just being a bit weird and now she wasn't sure just because of one small sentence.
Gail drummed her fingers against the kitchen counter and stood up. She was going a bit stir crazy she decided, cooped up in this house for the nights, alone with her thoughts for most of it. She wandered through the house towards the tiny office space, intending to check in with Sanderson before heading out to the van. She found the lanky officer cooped up behind Holly's desk, intently studying the manual spread out in front of him.
"I'm going outside," she announced, as she peered at the frames and paper hung rather haphazardly on the wall. Holy's qualifications were up there of course, but there was all manner of other items pinned up too – certificates for completing several fun runs, random photos and even a couple of kids' drawings.
"Ok," Sanderson replied, stretching out his long arms above his head. "Has the doc gone up?"
"Yep," Gail replied, before impulsively adding, "Did you know she's gay?"
Sanderson stared at her with a bemused expression. "What does it matter?" he asked, unsure what Gail was getting at.
"It doesn't!" she said immediately. "But I didn't know. I'm surprised it wasn't in the file,"
"Hmm. We didn't really find anything about significant others when we put together the background info," he replied, casting his mind back to the research McGregor had had him do. "But unless it directly impacts, we wouldn't have included it anyway,"
Gail nodded, understanding what he was saying. The fact that there was a violent mobster after her family had nothing to do with Holly being gay. And it really didn't matter…but she was surprised that the others seemed to have worked it out when she hadn't. "How did you know then?" Gail couldn't help but ask. Had Holly told the others before her? She had thought Holly had told because they were friends…that she had picked Gail to be her friend. Gail liked the way that had felt; it made her special somehow. But maybe Holly had already had the conversation with the other officers, she was already friends with them and Gail was last on the list.
"Something I heard on one of her phone calls," Sanderson shrugged, his response interrupting Gail's worrying.
"Oh," she said. So maybe Holly didn't just idly share her personal life with everyone then. Although… "Wait, we heard her on the phone that first day – she said she thought you were hot?" Gail mused. Why would Holly say that about Sanderson if she didn't even like men?
Sanderson raised an eyebrow, amused at how clueless his colleague seemed to be. "Not me, Peck. She wasn't talking about me," he told her, grinning when Gail's understanding dawned.
"Oh," she said again, feeling her cheeks colour. The smile plastered on Sanderson's face didn't help matters. She quickly made her escape, telling the other officer she was going out to the van and almost running out the house. Gail switched on the monitors inside the van and scanned the images of Holly's home. They were the same as every night; nothing was happening unless you counted Sanderson balancing pencils on their end, his studying clearly on a hiatus. Gail snorted as the four or five he had stood up clattered to the desk. She flipped a switch and saw Holly's kitchen instead and found herself glazing over a little as she thought about what she had just learned. Holly liked her? Well that was interesting. Very interesting.
A/N I always liked the casual way we saw Gail react to Holly's "coming out" in the series, but I did also wonder what was going on in that head of hers. We all know Gail is good at hiding things and I bet that she gave the conversation a lot more thought than that snippet of a scene showed us. My Gail here falls back on the old classic - overthinking things! And now she knows that they misinterpreted Holly telling Lisa that someone was hot, she's got a lot more to think about...
