It scared Sam to see Dean like this, weak as he was. He'd always hated it, for years had pictured Dean as the invincible big brother, always there, always strong. That image of him had been destroyed after awhile. In Sam's mind, Dean was still the strongest, bravest, and most righteous person he would ever meet but he was so very human too. With flaws, fears, sadness, profound emotions that got in the way of judgement. He was a liar and a manipulator, a cheater and a cold-blooded killer, but then they both were.

So now, now when Dean was human and not invincible, he was shaking and lightly crying against Sam's shirt because all his human emotions were running just a little too high for him to contain behind that dam he had built up and had kept up for so many years. And it was pouring out, yet only a section of all the pain and grief and confusion that lay beneath him.

"It's okay Dean," Sam whispered. "It's okay."

Dean shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Everyone needs to let it out," Sam said, resting his head on the top of Dean's, another gesture he would never admit to and that they would never talk about again. "Nothing wrong or weak about it."

Dean closed his eyes against Sam, letting sudden exhaustion wash over him. He felt Sam's arms envelope him fully and Dean just let himself be held for a minute because he needed to be. He felt his heart slow down and let out a deep breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"You feel better at all?" Sam asked softly.

Dean nodded. "I think I'm good." Why can't I pull myself together? Sam shouldn't have to see me like this.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

No, no I'm not okay, please keep telling me I'll be okay pleasekeeptellingmeillbeokay pleasekeeptellingmeillbeokaypleasestayhereimnotokay. "I'm fine," he whispered.

Sam looked skeptical but pushed away from his brother. "I'm right here if you need me," he said, as if sensing Dean's bullshit.

Dean nodded, looking around with his tearstained face, green eyes wide and wet and pained. They landed on Cas who nodded and walked towards him, simply standing behind the chair so Dean had his brother and his Angel there with him and somehow it made it a tiny bit easier to breathe.

"Father," Cas said, addressing Chuck. "Why are you here?" His eyes were ice cold and his voice was threatening and freezing.

"I wanted to check in," Chuck said with a shrug. "Explain myself and I think it was made quite clear that I have quite a lot to explain."

Dean glanced over at Sam and realized he was watching him worriedly. 'I'm good,' he mouthed.

Sam looked doubtful but turned his face to Cas and Chuck, both of whom seemed to be communicating silently with each other. The rage in Cas's eyes was terrifying and was directed completely at his Father. The two beings stared at each other until, surprisingly, Chuck glanced away.

"So I'm assuming you want an explanation," He said loudly.

"No shit," came a mutter from the left side of the room. Charlie cleared her throat and repeated it. "No shit, we all want to hear what you have to say, stop being dramatic, suck it up, and tell us."

Dean raised his eyebrows at her, feeling a flurry of pride as the red head, undaunted by Chuck's glare, leaned against a wall, oblivious to Kevin's part amused and mostly horrified stare, and waited patiently. "Well?"

Chuck sighed and said, "it's a long story, and Dean, you had every right to yell at me. I should probably start from the beginning."

So he did, and God Himself explained how they were created as a self destruct button, how He had planned the end of the world not once, but twice and called it off both times. All the time He spoke, Cas just stood quietly next to Dean and held his hand and Sam sat next to his brother, listening with a scornful and bitter look on his face. Jess stood in the back, by Mary, and watched God with a stunned look on her face. She made no move to go to Sam, knowing that above anything else, he felt the need to stay with his brother. She had had a sister, she knew some variation of what Sam felt.

Cas listened with dawning horror and hatred at the ignorance in his Fathers words. Everything that had happened to the two people he loved most had been simply a...a cog in the ever turning clock counting down to the destruction of Earth. His free hand was clenched so tightly he felt the dull nails ripping through his skin, felt warm blood trickle down his hand. Undiluted, rational, anger poured through him. "Everything was planned," he said softly. "I thought that just meant that You planned the entire Winchester bloodline out to result in the Apocalypse, to stop it, not to destroy the Earth,"

Chuck turned carefully to look at His son. "I'm not going to pretend what I did was right."

"Good," Sam said coldly. "Because what You have done, what You've put us through, You had no right, there is nothing You can say to justify this."

"Sam Winchester," Chuck said, moving ever so slightly to stare directly at Sam. "Without me you would never have existed. You're be dead."

"There's a difference between dying and never being born, a son of yours- Balthazar- taught me that." Sam raised his head defiantly and for a moment he was sure Chuck would kill him on the spot. Dean moved slightly in front of Sam who held out a hand to prevent his older brother from coming anymore forward.

The tension was palpable. Raw power crackling in the air. Then Chuck smiled, and Sam blinked, taken aback. "I always liked you Sam," Chuck said, the aura of His power fading significantly. Dean, assured that Sam was in no danger, settled back in the chair.

Sam didn't answer, turned his head away in disgust, and caught Jess's eye. She raised her eyebrows and gave him a small smile. Mary, who stood next to her, looked scared if not a little proud. He flashed a smile at them before turning to Dean who was pale and worried looking, Cas had his hand on Dean's arm and Dean was leaning into him.

"You good?" Sam asked his brother softly.

Dean nodded. "Getting there."

Sam looked at him deeply, concerned for a moment before he heard God start talking again and his attention snapped to Him.

"Sam, Dean," He began. "I've done this for Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer, Asmodei, and Castiel. You each have a wish, it can be anything that will not cause damage to the planet and, sadly, I can bring back one being only from the dead, if I bring more it will upset some natural law."

"Why?" Dean asked, eyes narrowed.

Chuck looked surprise. "You helped me realize that the world was worth saving. Twice. Remember, any wish you want."

"No strings attached?" Sam questioned.

"None."

Dean gripped Sam's shoulders. "Sammy, you know what you want so don't you dare say anything else but that or I swear..."

Sam shook his head. "We can't keep doing that Dean." But his eyes were pained and full of longing.

"One last time, okay? Please Sam." Dean was almost begging for Sam to take it, to be long-term happy for the first time in years.

Cas knelt down beside them. "Sam... Please do this."

"It's not natural," Sam murmured. "We, above all other people should know that! And believe me, I want to but it's purely selfish, okay?"

"Brother, listen to me," Dean snapped. "It's happening one way or another so it's going down by your wish or mine, take your pick."

"What about everybody else?" Sam asked. "It wouldn't be fair."

Cas spoke. "Nothing will ever be fair. You live without the one person you want most or you hope the others will understand by it was her. You can't always do things because you think it's right, you need to do something for yourself." The Angels eyes were filled with compassion and begging, boring into the very centre of Sam's being. "Do it."

Sam sighed. Had he other options he could have argued his point for hours but instead he stood. "Fine," he said softly, hissed through gritted teeth but with hope in his stomach. Determined, he walked in a straight, purposeful line to Jess, ignoring his mothers confused noise, took Jess's hands in his and said, "how would you feel about coming back with me?"