A/N Hey folks. This has taken a while; I'm sorry about that. I'll be honest, it's because this chapter just didn't flow particularly well. It's probably had three total re re-writes since I first put it down on paper back in December! But you know, sometimes you've just got to roll with what you've got. So, with that said, I shall rock on. Poor Gail - she hates people. And yet I make her have a chat with Steve, a chat with Holly and a chat with Sanderson here. She's probably going to taser me in the eye at some point. Hope you all have a lovely Easter break. I am currently away with work and the hotel I am staying in has given me a Cadbury Mini Eggs Easter egg. Winner!
Cheers,
Sam
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Gail regretted picking up the phone the moment she heard the scornful tone in Steve's voice.
"What's this I hear about you losing your gun?"
"Oh get lost, Steven!" she huffed.
"No, seriously! I mean, did they not teach you anything at the Academy, eh? Standards must have slipped since my days…"
At that point, Gail hung up on him and returned to her reading material as she sat in the living room, waiting for McNally & Chen to drop Holly home. It was still too early for her shift to start, but Sanderson had insisted on getting there ahead of time and as the lanky officer was the one who drove her to work every day, she had little choice in the matter. Her partner was currently rattling around the kitchen putting his grand plan into action; he had decided to cook dinner for them all. Gail had spent five minutes in there with him but after witnessing the chaos start to unfold she had beaten a hasty retreat. She could spend hours watching Holly cook; she found the calm and organised way the brunette managed her kitchen to be strangely mesmerising. She had in fact wondered whether she was some sort of closet foodie, having never had much interest in the art of cooking before. However, after five minutes in the kitchen with Sanderson, she realised it wasn't the cooking she found soothing – it was being around Holly. Sanderson was an enthusiastic chef, but the mess, the noise and the sheer slap dash approach he applied sent her running for the sanctuary of the living room.
Aside from the occasional crash coming from the kitchen, she was enjoying her peaceful evening reading a journal she had stolen from Holly's office a couple of days ago. She didn't have a clue what the title meant, but when she saw a certain Dr. Holly Stewart listed as the author she couldn't resist swiping it. Now she could definitely say she had learnt lots about Coronary Arteriosclerosis, because Holly had the ability to explain even complicated scientific theories really clearly. Granted, there were still some aspects of the article that were beyond her comprehension, but it didn't matter. She fancied that she could hear Holly's voice behind the words, and that was all it took for her to continue reading.
However, before she could settle back into the journal, her phone rang again. Knowing it was her brother, she cut the call off, and flicked the phone to silent. Ten seconds later, it began to buzz and dance across the surface of the coffee table. Growling, Gail stuffed it under one of the cushions she was leaning against before starting at the top of the page again. But Steve was nothing if not persistent, and the phone vibrated twice, indicating a text message had come through.
Steve: Answer the phone, Gail!
As she read the message, another one pinged into her inbox.
Steve: Come on! I was just kidding!
She hit reply and told him to get lost, albeit in slightly more colourful language this time. However, her brother knew how to push her buttons.
Steve: I have some info on the case…
Gail sighed. Sometimes, she hated the elder Peck. She dialled his number and as soon as he answered she barked out a warning. "This had better be good!"
"Hey little sis. Lovely to talk to you too! I'm fine thanks, how are you doing?" he replied in sickly sweet tone.
"You're boring me already," Gail told him.
"So let's talk about something more interesting," he shot back. "What happened on Sunday?"
It had been three days since the jogging debacle and Gail couldn't believe her brother didn't know exactly what went on that day. In fact, when his name flashed up on her screen she had half thought he might be calling to check she was ok. But of course, why would any member of her family bother with that when they could berate her instead? Steve was just staying true to Peck form.
"Leave it Steve. It was a screw up, as you well know,"
"Yeah, so I've heard!" he chastised.
"Look, if you're calling just to yell at me about that, you can stuff it. I've heard it all already. And if you're going to sack me for messing up, then go ahead," she said defiantly.
Steve sensed that his sister was genuinely touchy about the subject, so he took pity on her; "No, I wasn't, of course not. I heard you did good, Gail. You saved Dr. Stewart. That's why I wanted you on this – I knew I could trust you,"
"Whatever. You wanted me because you couldn't force anyone else to say yes," Gail corrected him, ignoring the praise.
"Hey, the guys tell me you seem to be enjoying yourself. You should be thanking me; maybe I've helped you find your niche?" the detective suggested
"Who told you that?" Gail asked, suspiciously. She was enjoying the assignment, although that had nothing to do with the work itself and everything to do with the company. So maybe she should be thanking Steve for helping her find something…but what exactly that something was, she couldn't yet say. And she didn't think she had been that obvious for her colleagues to notice that this job wasn't exactly a chore.
"I am still on this case you know. Did you think I've just been letting everyone do their own thing? I get weekly reports!"
"How incredibly dull," drawled Gail.
"How are things then?" Steve enquired
"Fine,"
"Is that all I'm getting?"
"Surely your report tells you everything you need to know?"
Steve sighed. She was so dense sometimes, "Are you okay Gail, that's what I'm asking?"
"I'm fine!" she replied shortly, thoroughly exasperated by this stage.
He gave up, knowing that he wasn't going to get anything else out of his sister. "You've moved to a safe house now, eh? How's that?"
"Would you believe me if I told you it's fine?" Gail answered, deliberately dropping that word into the conversation again.
"Not if you're in the flat down on Richmond. I've been undercover there, it's a flea pit," Steve told her.
"Doesn't your report tell you where we are?" she asked.
"No. Need to know only. Which one is it then?" he threw the question out there without expecting an answer and sure enough, Gail didn't indulge him.
"Can't tell you," she sang at him, pleased to have one over her brother. Just at that moment, the front door opened and she heard Holly and Andy out in the hallway. She grinned and tried to hurry Steve off the line. "Look, I gotta go. My shift is starting. Did you actually have anything to tell me, or are you just checking up on me?"
"Oh. I just wanted to say that we've held that goon you shot. We searched his flat and came up with enough cash and drugs to charge him on a few counts. That should give us time to sweat him on who he was working with on Sunday…" Steve explained.
However, her attention was lost when Holly walked in and gave her a cheerful greeting; "Hey Gail!"
"Hey," the cop replied and she waved off the apology Holly tried to mouth at her when she realised Gail was on the phone. "Be careful in there! Sanderson is cooking!" she called out when the pathologist headed towards the kitchen and Holly pulled a mock scared face before disappearing.
"Was that the doc?" Steve asked, hearing her voice over the phone.
"Yeah. She's back, so I've got to run," Gail told him.
"What's she like?"
Gail froze, wondering if her brother had heard some sort of rumour and was fishing for information. "What do you mean?" she hedged.
"She's pretty good apparently. The detectives in my squad have been impressed so far," he replied, and she breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't asking about her and Holly. Until now, it hadn't crossed her mind what her family would say about her relationship with Holly. Not that it was a relationship yet of course, she had to keep reminding herself of that. Obviously her mother would first and foremost be worried about the family reputation, and Gail rolled her eyes about that. She was guessing that having a lesbian daughter probably wasn't top of Elaine Peck's list of ideal criteria for the perfect policing family unit. Her dad would follow whatever Elaine said, and Steve? Steve would just use it as an opportunity to rib her. She heard her brother call her name down the phone line and realised she had zoned out of the conversation and he probably thought he had been cut off.
"Oh. Yeah, she's on the ball. Very smart, massive nerd…yeah," Gail managed to stop herself, realising she was babbling in her relief that Steve was asking for a professional opinion about Holly rather than a personal one.
"Are you sure you're okay? You sound weird," he asked.
"I'm…"
"Fine, yeah I know!" Steve cut her off before she could say it again. "Alright little sis. I'll let you get back to being a badass bodyguard. Let me know if you need anything though, okay?"
"Just keep me posted on that bald loser," Gail replied, and they ended the call.
It was good timing, because at that moment Holly came rushing out. "Have you seen the mayhem in there?" she demanded, pointing towards the kitchen.
"It's not pretty," Gail agreed.
"Couldn't you stop him?" asked Holly as she flopped down on the sofa next to the cop.
"Not my kitchen, not my problem!"
"I'm really glad Scott didn't try to cook at my place," Holly said, shaking her head.
"Oh I'd have helped you clean up at your place," Gail qualified her earlier statement.
"Really?"
"Well. Maybe," the blonde said, wanting to believe it but knowing it was more than likely she would have simply yelled at Sanderson to sort his shit out, and then spent the evening supervising him.
"Thanks Gail," Holly replied, rolling her eyes. "Andy is in there anyway. I'm hoping she can sort him out,"
"I wouldn't count on it," Gail drawled, with a well-practiced air of cynicism.
Holly shrugged and changed the subject, "Was that your brother on the phone?"
"Yep. Checking up on me after the weekend's fiasco,"
"That's sweet," the pathologist offered, despite Gail's less than enthusiastic tone. She didn't quite understand the other woman's relationship with her brother. Steve had come up in a few of their conversations, sometimes fondly and sometimes with what Holly could only describe as bitterness.
"Hmmm. If he was that sweet, he would have called the day it happened, not three days later," Gail told her, pulling a face.
"He's just looking out for you. That's what siblings do," replied Holly, reaching over to squeeze Gail's knee. "Cut him a bit of slack, Gail" she advised.
The blonde huffed at her so Holly decided not to push it and changed her subject. "What are you reading?" she asked, grabbing the journal from where it rested on the arm of the couch. Her jaw dropped when she read the title. "Hey! I've been looking for this!"
Gail shrugged and tried to look innocent, "You couldn't have looked very hard; I just found it lying around on the coffee table," she said.
"Gail, this was on my desk at work!" Holly admonished, rolling the journal up and swatting the other woman on the arm with it.
The cop laughed as she avoided Holly's attacks and tried to grab the paper back. "Nope. You must have brought it back here," she insisted, fending off a particularly wild swing and neatly swiping the weapon from the brunette's grasp.
Holly frowned at her. "No, I did not! Did you steal this from my office?" she asked, her voice stern. However she couldn't hide the amusement in her eyes that showed Gail she wasn't serious.
"I am an officer of the law, Ms. Stewart. How dare you accuse me of such a thing?" she answered, with as much solemnity as she could muster.
"That's Doctor Stewart to you, and in my official capacity as a Forensic Pathologist, you should know that I will find the inevitable evidence that you left behind and when I do, I will bring you down," Holly announced and she raised her eyebrows to stare Gail down.
The police officer returned the gaze steadily for a beat or two, before the pair of them burst into laughter. However, a sudden crash from the kitchen, and McNally's subsequent yelp reminded them that they weren't alone. Gail immediately shifted towards her own end of the couch, realizing that during their play fight she had ended up much closer to Holly than could be deemed appropriate. She had gotten caught up in the moment and she knew how stupid that was. She took a couple of subtle deep breaths in order to bring herself back under control.
"Do you really read this stuff?" she asked, tossing the Forensics paper back to the doctor.
"I wrote that stuff," Holly replied.
"Oh, I hadn't realised that," Gail lied. Holly gave her a knowing smile in return but didn't bother correcting her. Instead she smoothed the pages down and fixed the bent corners that had mysteriously appeared on the page where her own article started.
"It's good," came the voice from the other end of the sofa, and the brunette couldn't hide her surprise.
"I'm sorry, what?" she asked.
"I thought your article was interesting," Gail shrugged. She picked a loose thread out of the fabric of the couch and scowled at the resulting hole she had made. When Holly didn't reply, she looked up to see the other woman giving her a suspicious stare. "What?" she demanded.
"I'm waiting for the punchline," Holly told her.
Gail blinked. "Well that's the last time I compliment you then," she said and turned her attention back to ruining the upholstery.
"Really? You're being serious?"
"I can be nice occasionally you know," the cop replied, starting to wonder why she bothered.
Holly rushed to apologise. "Of course you can! Sorry, I was just surprised you wanted to read my stuff, let alone enjoyed it," she said, feeling guilty that Gail had made the effort and she had just thrown it back at her.
"Hmmm," hummed the blonde, still looking a bit crestfallen and so Holly scooted across to get closer to her.
"Thank you Gail, it means a lot to me that you read my work," she said, and gave the cop a quick kiss on the cheek. That small act seemed to thaw the frosty attitude a little, so Holly indulged her curiosity. "Why did you want to read it though?" she asked.
Gail gave a shrug of her shoulders as she thought about that. She wasn't sure she could explain it, but she had this insatiable urge to drink in everything she could about Holly, even to go as far as reading her nerdy science books. She felt like she knew the other woman so well, yet was conscious that they had only known each other a few weeks. The conversation they had shared a couple of days ago when she had revealed the story of what happened with Perik only reinforced that. Holly had mentioned how she didn't know much about Gail, whereas the cop felt she had shared more with Holly in the past four weeks than she had with anyone in the past four years. It made her realize how little she knew about the doctor. So when she had found herself waiting in Holly's office for shift handover, she took the opportunity to learn a little more about the professional side of the quirky nerd who had so captivated her.
"I just wanted to know more about what you do," she admitted, deciding to stick with an honest answer but not going into all the details that churned through her mind.
The pathologist suddenly realised where Gail was coming from, "Because of what I said the other day? After you told me about the kidnapping?"
"See, it took Steve a week to call me after that happened. That's why I was snarky about him earlier. It upset me, but back then I pretended that it didn't. And nobody else knows the truth," she stated. Holly frowned a little, not following the apparent change of topic but Gail plunged on to explain herself. "What I mean is that you think you don't know me, but you know more than most. I tell you things. If anything I think I know even less about you." she declared.
Holly nodded her understanding, and didn't question her any further. She playfully nudged Gail in the ribs; "Well you could just ask me whatever you want to know, rather than turning into a petty criminal!" she teased.
The police officer thought about that as she checked her watch. She saw they had plenty of time before the ETA that Sanderson had given her earlier for their meal. This could be an interesting game. "Okay. I can ask you anything, and you'll answer?"
Holly grimaced as she realised she might have just put herself into a world of trouble with that offer. "Here's the deal. We'll take turns to ask a question, and we both have to answer," she sought to caveat things somewhat, rather than giving Gail free reign to interrogate her.
Gail contemplated that for a moment before agreeing. "Okay, but I get to go first because I already told you my answer to this one the other night. What's the worst thing that has ever happened to you?"
The doctor raised one eyebrow. "Um, probably all this with Kate and the whole being attacked in the street situation?" she suggested and Gail gave herself a mental thunk on the head.
"Sorry, stupid question," she grouched, annoyed that she had wasted her turn.
"It's fine," Holly replied, not upset by it. This may have been an ongoing nightmare but apart from the obvious moments, on the whole she had been fairly relaxed about the circumstance she found herself caught up in. And it had brought Gail to her, which was something unexpected but simultaneously welcome and exhilarating and was the primary reason why she couldn't be completely negative about the past month's tribulations. She smiled at the woman who sat cross legged on the couch, her side propped against the cushions so she could face Holly.
Gail stared at her expectantly but she had to prompt the doctor who was caught up in her own thoughts. "Go on then. You ask me something,"
"Oh! Um…what's your favourite colour?" Holly ended up asking the first thing that popped into her head and could only shrug when Gail wrinkled her nose.
"Lame, Lunchbox!" Gail scolded. "It's black. What's yours?"
"Blue," said Holly, with a dreamy tone as she gazed directly into Gail's eyes. In particular, the exact shade of light sky blue that she could see looking back at her although she wasn't going to admit that given it was a recent development.
"How did you know you were into girls?" the police officer asked, again rudely interrupting Holly's daydreams. The pathologist blinked at Gail's directness, but answered anyway.
"Oh. I kind of always knew, but it really dawned on me when I was a teenager and my friends would discuss the plot of last night's X Files episode and I couldn't remember half of it because I'd only been watching it for Scully. I was the only fan on the planet who didn't cheer when she finally got together with Mulder," the brunette explained.
Gail snorted. "River Song, Agent Scully. You really have a thing for all these badass sci-fi women, eh?"
The doctor shrugged and grinned, "Why do you think I became a scientist?"
"Because you're a nerd?"
Holly rolled her eyes and ignored the jibe. "Your turn to answer the same question," she told Gail, with an arched eyebrow.
The cop looked flummoxed for a moment, realising she had shot herself in the foot asking that question. But she had been curious; she didn't know much about Holly's past. And her own sudden realisation that she may not have been quite as straight as she had always thought was still weighing on her mind. She wasn't bothered by it, more like surprised. She just thought she had finally reached the stage in her life where she knew who she was. Guess not, she supposed. Had she been attracted to other women in the past? She had messed about a little with a couple of her friends when she was in her late teens but nothing was ever serious; it was mainly to drive the boys in their circle of friends a little crazy. And she had always been able to recognise a beautiful woman, even remarking about it occasionally when she was with Nick or Chris. Both men had been taken aback by their girlfriend pointing out a hot girl across the room for them to look at, but Gail had failed to see anything odd about it at the time. She couldn't help but marvel at the warm confidence some women seemed to exude without even trying. Traci has that, she realised with a sudden start as she mentally reviewed all the women she had known. Did I ever have a crush on Nash? She remembered asking her out for lunch once. But as quickly as that possibility hit her, she discounted it as she looked across at Holly. She liked Traci a lot, but she didn't feel drawn to her in the same way that she was to the pathologist. It was a completely different emotion. She hadn't felt this compelled to spend time with any other woman; or any other person for that matter. She had desired all of her ex-boyfriends, of course she had. But actually dating them and spending time with them had sometimes been a chore; it wasn't like the easy rapport she had fallen into with Holly. She was always fairly relaxed and straightforward with Chris, but that was perhaps because they were friends first. With Nick - the first time around - there was an air of excitement because he was the bad boy who she knew wouldn't be good for her. The second time, it was almost as if she was going through the motions; she had to have dinner with him and chat about nothing in order to have the sex and security that came with having someone you could call your own. Their interactions felt more like a means to an end.
She continued to gaze at Holly who was waiting expectantly for the answer, and let her eyes drift over the brunette. When had she first realised about Holly? She studied the other woman's face, noticing again how attractive she was: bronzed skin, dark expressive eyes and that enigmatic half smile. The long dark hair that seemed to sit perfectly in whatever style she chose, no matter how casually she was dressed. Gail pictured that moment at the batting cages when Holly had tossed her locks over her shoulder after taking off her helmet, and she felt a sudden jolt of arousal at the memory. Yet she knew that if she were honest with herself, she had been attracted to Holly way before that. Initially she had been captivated by her on a personal level; they had just connected from the start. She couldn't pinpoint the moment she had decided it was more than friendship…probably because she had fought it for so long. Gail's eyes wandered lower and she noticed that the first two buttons of Holly's royal blue shirt were undone, showing a white tank top underneath and more than a hint of cleavage. Gail stared. She really wanted to reach over and unbutton Holly's shirt to see her glorious skin and everything else hidden from her view. She swallowed hard. Her reaction to Holly was definitely something she hadn't felt before.
"Hey, earth to Officer Peck! Are you going to tell me, or is staring at my chest actually your answer?" Holly called her out. She had spotted the direction of Gail's gaze, and hadn't missed the expression of lust behind it. She secretly felt proud that she could provoke that reaction in the cop, and was more than a little relieved that Gail desired her in that way. She was still worried that this was all new to Gail and that she would change her mind or realise that it wasn't what she wanted but the heated stare that the blonde was giving her while they talked about being attracted to women certainly helped reduce her concerns. Holly grinned as Gail wrenched her eyes away to the side.
"Your arms!" the police officer blurted, as she noticed Holly had rolled her sleeves up to the elbow again.
"What?" asked the doctor, confused at the sudden confession.
"When we went to that bar," Gail muttered as her pale skin flushed red. "I found myself staring at your arms, and I realised I was attracted to you,"
"My arms?" Holly repeated, still perplexed. That wasn't really what she was expecting. She cast her mind back, but couldn't ever remember someone specifically complimenting her on her arms before. But trust Gail to be unorthodox! She grinned, and tried to decide which of the multitude of teasing comments that had sprung to mind to use first.
Before she could come out with anything, Gail shrugged, thoroughly embarrassed and hoping they could move on swiftly. She hadn't meant to say that. "You have amazing arms. I like arms. I like your arms," she said, reaching over and running her hand down Holly's bicep and then onto the bare skin of her forearm, noticing how the muscles in the brunette's upper arm clenched as she caressed the exposed skin. "Your question," she muttered, turning the attention back to their game.
Holly visibly shook herself to clear the fog. She had thought she had gotten one over on the blonde, but Gail's simple touch had caught her off guard.
"Um, why did you become a cop?" she asked without really thinking about it.
"Lame again!" Gail derisively announced.
"Well it's your job to ask questions! I'm new to all this!" she defended herself.
"I know, but you could at least put some effort into it. Policing is a family thing. I didn't really have a choice,"
"Yes you did. I know you were groomed for it, but you would have rebelled if you really wanted to. And I've seen you talk about your work and heard what the others say about you. You love it. So come on, why did you do it?" Holly persisted.
The police officer frowned; surprised that Holly hadn't taken her initial reply at face value. "I do like it," she started, mulling it over and realising it was true. She loved her job. "I think it's important that there is someone out there to protect people who can't protect themselves. That's what we do. Plus it's a challenge and every day is different. It makes me want to keep getting better," she explained, not sure whether that made sense of not. But the other woman nodded back at her, so Gail assumed she had at least gotten part of her point across.
"You like helping people," Holly clarified.
"Not really," Gail replied with a grimace. "Your turn. It can't all have been because of Scully. Why are you a dead people doctor?"
"I don't just do dead bodies you know!" she rebuked, but couldn't help laughing at Gail's description. Until she caught the other woman sniggering at her unintentional poor choice of phrase. "Oh grow up! Do you want to hear this story or not?"
The cop hurriedly contained herself and motioned for Holly to continue.
"I was always into science, so I had to do something in this field. I had planned on being a doctor for a long time, but I realized that it just wasn't for me. I like that in this job I get to solve puzzles; everything has a process and when you combine that with sometimes having to think outside the box, the answer is there. In some ways it's the same as you; I help people who can't help themselves. People who can't tell you their story, I help figure it out,"
The cop nodded in agreement. Holly's job was pretty cool, she thought. "Tell me a secret," she said, having already planned her next turn at this game.
However, the brunette shook her head. "That's not a question," she stated.
"Can you tell me a secret?" Gail asked, scowling.
"Yes, I can," was Holly's reply and she displayed a smug smile at her own teasing.
"Oh just answer the question you great geek!"
Before Holly could answer though, Sanderson's voice yelled through from the kitchen. "Dinner is served, ladies!"
"Saved by the bell," Holly laughed and made a move to get up, but Gail reacted quickly and pinned her to the sofa.
"Nope, you've got to answer first, that's the game,"
Holly stared up at the woman who was now straddling her lap and holding her wrists against the back of the couch. She tried not to notice how closely their lower bodies were pressed together, or how compromising this position could look if someone were to walk in. She pushed against the cop, testing her resolve but Gail held firm and didn't shift her position. Holly had to fight the desire that shot through her body and tried to think of a suitable answer that Gail would accept without giving too much away. Some of the things running through her mind right now were definitely not appropriate for sharing. There wasn't a whole lot that Gail didn't know as she had been honest with the blonde since they had met…apart from when she was hiding her raging crush. Suddenly, the answer popped into her head and she craned her upper body forward to whisper in Gail's ear.
"I only kissed Jess that night because I was desperately trying to take my mind off how much I wanted to kiss you," she told her.
Gail's eyes widened, the sultry tone of Holly's voice and the close proximity of their bodies did strange things to her insides, causing her to make her own confession. "I wanted you to do that. I was so insanely jealous of her," she admitted her own secret as she released Holly's wrists and sat back a little to ease the tension.
However, Holly tracked her movements by leaning forward and kissing Gail soundly before moving away and using her hips to flip the blonde off her. She stood up and looked down at her stunned companion.
"I know. That's not a secret, Gail," she murmured before giving the other woman a dazzling smile and heading off in the direction of the kitchen.
By the time Gail had gathered her wits enough to follow, she found Holly helping Sanderson serve his casserole dish. She headed straight for the food, but noticed Andy was pulling on her coat and getting ready to leave which distracted her for a moment.
"Aren't you staying for dinner, McNally?" she asked, whilst grabbing a plate for herself and passing it over to Holly to fill with food.
Andy froze in shock. Even though she and Gail had been civil throughout the assignment, there had still been the tension between them that had been present since she and Nick got together. Truth be told, Andy still felt guilty about it and so had stayed clear of Gail whenever possible, giving the blonde the space she seemed to want. Over the past couple of weeks however, they had both done each other small favours by covering hours, yet McNally still didn't really feel like their relationship was recovering. She scrambled to answer, realising that everyone in the kitchen was looking at her. "Um, I wasn't sure whether I…" she trailed off, not wanting to expressly say she didn't know if she was welcome. She wasn't one hundred per cent sure whether Gail was actually inviting her to stay and didn't want to make a fool of herself.
"There's plenty to go round," Sanderson interjected, gesturing at the large casserole pot.
"There you go then. Grab a plate," Gail said, as if that settled the matter. Andy grinned, shrugged off her coat and did as she was told. She didn't know what had brought about this thaw in Gail's attitude towards her, but she wasn't going to complain.
As Andy served herself some food, Holly slid into the seat next to the blonde cop. "That was nice of you, inviting Andy to stay," she whispered quietly.
Gail shrugged, "Whatever. If you and I are suffering Sanderson's cooking, then McNally is going down with us" she replied, dismissing Holly's compliment. "I feel like food poisoning should be a shared experience."
Holly rolled her eyes. "It was still nice of you," she declared, before dubiously scooping up some beef stew on her fork and surreptitiously crossing her fingers behind her back as she tried Sanderson's concoction for the first time…
She fought to keep her face neutral and made all the right appreciative noises to Scott, but the knowing cackles from the blonde rang loud and clear in her ears long after they had finished the meal. Sanderson was no chef, that was for sure.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It had become customary since they had been based at the safe house for Gail to sneak upstairs and say goodnight to Holly in a way that she couldn't do in front of her colleagues. Tonight however, when Gail made her way down stairs, she was so lost in her Holly-bubble that she was oblivious to her partner's scrutiny. He had been watching her closely these last few nights but the smile plastered across her face gave him the final clue he needed. And now he needed to confront her with his conclusion, but to be frank, he was dreading it. He cleared his throat, which brought Gail back from her daydream and so she finally noticed her partner sitting quietly on the edge of the table amongst the carnage from his earlier culinary adventure. She found it strange that he wore a stern expression instead of his usual friendly, easy going one so tried to pull him into their usual jokey conversation.
"Is cleaning up not one of your kitchen talents either?" Gail shot the insult at him as she pointed at the mess.
"You're doing the washing up," Sanderson countered.
She arched an eyebrow at him; "I don't think so,"
"Yes, you are," he insisted. "Because you owe me. Because you promised me something, and you've broken it."
Gail stilled, sensing that this was beyond banter and her partner really wasn't happy about something. However, she had no idea what.
"What are you talking about, Sanderson?" she asked.
"You and the doc!" he hissed, incredulous that she was oblivious to the problem.
She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, pressing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. She rubbed her eyes, trying to ease the tension she felt. Her initial reaction was to tell him to fuck off and mind his own business…but he was right. She dropped her arms and walked slowly over to the table, pulling out a chair to sit near him.
"We're not…" she began, but Sanderson interrupted as he swung himself off the table and into the chair opposite her.
"Don't. Don't deny it and treat me like an idiot. You sneak upstairs every night and you look at each other like there's no one else in the room. And now you're doing things like letting Andy stay for dinner!" he shook his head in astonishment.
"I wasn't going to deny it," she snapped at him. "And I'm sorry I let you down. But I can't help it,"
"We talked about this, Gail. You agreed that it was a bad idea – you said you could handle it," Sanderson said.
"I thought I could. I didn't mean for anything to happen," she replied, shrugging her shoulders helplessly.
"You can't date our subject. You just can't," he told her, watching the visible signs of her conflict rage across her face.
"We're not dating," Gail clarified. "That's what I was going to say. Things got a bit heated after we were attacked, but we talked and we know we can't,"
"So what's all the sneaking around about? You're just sleeping with her?" he shot back.
"No! Jesus, no!" she yelled before remembering to keep her voice down. "We both like each other and we can't ignore it. But we're not having a thing,"
"So what are you doing?" he asked.
Gail paused. It was a good question and the honest answer was that she didn't know. It had all made sense when she had discussed it with Holly. "We're just not ignoring that we'd like to be having a thing," she explained.
Sanderson stared at her, "That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard," he stated and they both faced each other across the table, neither breaking the eye contact until Gail had to drop her head.
"Are you going to tell McGregor?" she asked, quietly.
The tall cop grimaced. "I don't know. I should,"
She nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah I know,"
"We keep breaking the rules, Peck. Hanging out like this is some holiday camp, going for that run. We got lucky but what if one day we don't?"
"It's okay if you tell him. I'll understand," she said.
"You're my partner. And my friend," Sanderson said, torn between his loyalty towards Gail and to his job.
She gave him a small smile and shrugged, "That's why I'll understand. I don't want you to be in a difficult position,"
"It's a bit late for that," he rebuked and she winced at his honesty, feeling the guilt wash over her.
"I can't justify it," she told him. "But I promise you that I'm still being careful, like you asked. Holly knows how it is too. And I don't mean to sneak around, I really don't. But I can't help how I feel. I really like her, Sanderson," Gail put her head in her hands, embarrassed at her admission.
"I should tell him. And I would, if I didn't still think you being here is the best thing for Holly…the best thing for our operation," he replied, finally coming to a decision. "But if that changes then we're done, you know that right?"
"I know. Thank you," she said, quietly,
"Don't thank me. Really, don't," Sanderson said, still upset with her. "We've got two weeks. Can you at least try not to make things any more complicated than they already are?"
She nodded vehemently. "I'll pull back a bit. I guess I got carried away. You're right," she promised.
"I know how you feel about her. And I don't want to be mad at you, but I am. And it's mainly because I'm worried, okay?" he asked and she nodded again. "I'm going to study. I'll catch you later,"
Sanderson got up from the table and she watched him leave, a weight settling in her chest. She took a deep breath to try and quash the turmoil of guilt. It made her sick to her stomach to have let down Sanderson, but feeling bad about her attraction to Holly also filled her with revulsion. She had already been through the stage of trying to hide how she felt and now that she had finally admitted everything, she didn't want to go back to that.
But he's right she thought; you have let your feelings cloud your judgement. Gail knew that the only reason she had come up with the running plan was to try and impress Holly, to put a smile on her face. She wouldn't have done that for anyone else. And look what had happened – they ended up here.
Sanderson was also right about another thing. When she had spoken to Holly earlier in the week, it had all seemed so simple. They weren't actually starting anything because they couldn't, but they were acknowledging how they felt. However, as soon as she explained it to Sanderson and he had poured cold water on things, she realised how idealistic that was. They couldn't have their cake and eat it too.
She sighed, and began to clear the plates from the table. She dumped them into the sink and turned the tap on, wishing she could wash away her own mess so easily. The problem was, when it came down to it she didn't want to pretend there was nothing between her and Holly. Pissing off Sanderson wasn't on her agenda either. It had felt good to have someone on her side for a change. She had no idea how to make it up to him whilst also staying close to Holly. She resolved that she would be more focused because her partner was right; both their careers lay in her hands now, and so did their friendship.
As Gail half-heartedly sloshed the dirty dishes around in the sink she let her mind wander from the harsh reality of their situation and remembered the time she had spent with Holly earlier that evening. She couldn't help smiling again. Sanderson's words may have dented the cosy bubble she and Holly had created, but nothing could burst it completely.
